Sansational!
Part 7: Interview With a Vampire
Sans
Sunday morning we were greeted with a steady rain. I wasn't disappointed though. Tori and I had to pack and check out by noon. We woke about 9 am so we had time. Around 9:30 we went downstairs to have breakfast when we saw some familiar faces. Richelle, Oshay, and Oshay's dad were there enjoying a meal together. We greeted them and Richelle introduced us to her husband, Terrell. She invited us to sit with them and we happily accepted. The human family was trying out some monster food. Terrell said he liked it, and that it tasted a lot better than military rations. We talked a little about work and family life. Terrell's an Air Force pilot and Richelle is a teacher at Harbor Elementary, the human school Frisk attends for ambassadorial purposes. Toriel is a teacher and headmistress of ever expanding Ebott Village Elementary school, and I…run a food truck near the local university while working towards my third doctorate.
"Your third?" Richelle seemed a bit taken aback by that. "What else do you have a PhD in?"
"Applied Physics and Theoretical Physics. My next one will be Astrophysics."
The humans seemed thoroughly impressed, except for Oshay. She was more impressed with her mini pancakes sprinkled with chocolate chips. Tori and I showed the Jamesons pictures of our kid and my brother until the continental breakfast ended around 10:30 a.m. We exchanged contact information before heading back to our respective rooms. Look at us, expanding our horizons and making new friends. That's a whole lot better than making enemies.
We checked out just before noon. We had fun and the honeymoon was pretty short because Tori had to get back to work teaching and my classes were starting up again. Part of me was a bit sad that we couldn't stay longer, but a bigger part of me missed Frisk. We didn't even stop by our house to drop off our luggage before heading to Asgore's house. By the time we got to King Fluffybuns's the rain had gone from a torrent to a drizzly mist. After Tori knocked on the door it was answered by…Eliza? Heh, wasn't expecting that. She was dressed really casual in turquoise sweats and a pair of matching athletic shoes. For some reason she had the left leg of her sweatpants rolled up. In spite of her casual clothes she stilled looked pretty hot, but I kept it to myself.
"Ah! Look who's 'ere! The beautiful bride and her 'andsome 'usband!" Hearing Eliza's accent made me want to ask her if she has something against the letter 'h'. She sounded kind of like that singing red crab from that mermaid movie Frisk likes to watch. Before I could ask her about it, Asgore stepped up behind her. I saw him glance at Eliza before he greeted me and Tori. He had a look on his face that seemed familiar. I thought I knew what it was, but I wasn't going to jump to any conclusions. I did peep a knowing smirk on my wife's face though as we entered the house. She must have seen what I saw as well.
Asgore called to Frisk to let them know we were here to take them home. The kid came tearing out of the den with a big grin on their face with Damian following close behind. Neither of them had any shoes on. Frisk ran up to both of us to give us hugs.
"Mom! Dad! Guess what! Me, Daymie and Miss. NiNi made a ViewTube video of us dancing! Know that song 'Pump Up the Jam' by Technotronic? We danced to that and it was awesome! NiNi taught us the moves!"
"really, kiddo? sounds cool. you can show us the video when we get home, ok?"
"Yay!" Frisk gave Asgore, Eliza and Damian quick hugs before heading to the car with their overnight bag and shoes. I was about to follow our kid to the car, but Toriel put a hand on my collarbone to stop me.
"Sans, I think someone wants to speak to you." She nodded towards Damian, who looked a little surprised about being acknowledged by my wife. His mom gave him a little push of encouragement towards us. Before he spoke he looked down at the floor. It was kinda weird seeing the same kid that had all kinds of confidence on the dance floor acting all shy.
"Umm..Ms. Tori, Missah Sans…Frisk told me they're avin' a birt-day party next Saturday. I was wonderin' if I could come?"
That kid sounded so friggin' cute with that accent, I bet if Alphys had heard it she would have fainted from a kawaii overdose. Tori was all smiles as she answered the kid's question.
"Of course you can come, sweetheart!"
"E-even though I don't 'ave an invitation?"
"eh, don't worry about it. we'll let the bouncer know you're cool."
"Thank you so much!" Then Damian gave both me and Tori a hug. Sweet kid. Asgore walked with us to our car where Frisk was waiting in the back seat, buckled up and ready to go. Tori asked Eliza if she and Damian would like a ride home.
"No thank you. Thank you for offering though."
My wife and I assumed Asgore would take them home. Boy were we wrong. Miss. Niong hopped on top of the porch then reached down to pull her son up with her.
"We prefer to fly 'ome. We don't like to fly at night. It's not as safe as we'd like. Snowdrake was shot at while flying at night. Fortunately 'e wasn't 'urt. Goodbye everyone. See you soon!"
And with that the pair took flight from Asgore's roof…in the drizzling rain. I wondered what it would be like to have wings, then I realized they would be useless for a skeleton since they'd be made of bone with no membrane in between. Welp, better get the kid home.
Toriel
When we got to the house Papyrus was already there preparing Sunday dinner. Penne pasta primavera was on the menu, and it smelled wonderful. Since moving to the surface Papyrus has learned to cook a variety of meals. Most of them involved some type of pasta, but at least it wasn't spaghetti all day and every day. While Papyrus let the food simmer Sans brought his laptop into the den so we could all watch Frisk's ViewTube video. It started out with Damian briefly introducing everyone in what appeared to be Asgore's den, but the furniture was rearranged. None of them had shoes on, and I immediately was concerned about one of them slipping on the hardwood floor. I quickly realized there was nothing to worry about since this was prerecorded and everyone had come out of the den fine. I was just being a silly old lady who worries too much again. I heard Asgore's voice off camera asking the trio if they were ready. Frisk gave a thumbs up and the music began to play. The song was fast paced with a very hard bass. Definitely designed for the club scene. I wasn't surprised by that. What did take me aback, much to my delight, was seeing my child dancing and enjoying themselves with someone other than their family. They had literally just met Eliza and Damian and yet they seemed to get along so well, in spite of Frisk tending to be standoffish towards strangers. I was also impressed by the dance moves Miss. Niong had taught my child. They looked very polished and professional. I asked if they had been practicing all day to get the choreography down.
"Nah. We practiced for about an hour and a half. NiNi showed us and called out the moves until we got them memorized."
Watching my child dance made me feel so happy and proud. I could tell by their expression that they put their soul into it, not just their body. This amazing performance ended with Asgore's simple off camera comment, "That was epic." We applauded and cheered as Frisk raised their fists in triumph. They were pretty proud of themselves, and rightly so.
Dinner was great. Papyrus did a wonderful job. We discussed our weekend activities. Papyrus said he spent most of his weekend with Undyne and Alphys watching Death Note. Apparently several characters remind him of some of his friends and family members. Mr. Yagami reminded him of Asgore because he was a stern and loveable father figure. L reminded him of Sans since he seemed lazy, had bad posture, and ate lots of unhealthy food. Sans protested at that, but he was laughing as well so he took it all in stride. When asked about what he did for the rest of the weekend Papyrus gave an enigmatic answer of 'Oh, you know…things,' and went back to eating his pasta.
Sans and I described our first flying experience. Sans in greater detail than I. We also shared photos that we took from the plane. Frisk absolutely loved Sans' photo of the full rainbow. The discussion eventually got around to the topic of Frisk's tenth birthday coming upon March 19th.
"Mom, Dad, I know it's last minute, but is it okay if Daymie comes to my birthday party?"
"Of course, dear. In fact, we already told Damian and his mother that he can come."
"Really? YAAASSSS!"
The week leading up to Frisk's birthday party went pretty quickly. We all had returned to school in one way or another between me teaching at the Monster School, Frisk going back to fourth grade, and Sans resuming his online classes. Even Papyrus returned to his position of school security. Even Asgore had meetings with local government authorities scheduled for this week. In spite of all of our busy schedules, Sans, Papyrus, Asgore, and I all managed to complete plans for Frisk's birthday party that coming Saturday. About twenty children would be in attendance. Most of them were Monster children, but there were a few humans coming as well. I even invited Terrell and Richelle's daughter, Oshay. Terrell wasn't set to be deployed again for at least six months, so they gladly accepted the invitation.
Saturday morning was filled with activity. Undyne and Alphys had come by early with their newly adopted child, a reptilian Monster called MK. I almost didn't recognize him at first because he had a pair of prosthetic arms Alphys had custom designed for him. Frisk was so excited to see him that they ran to give him a hug. MK had the huge grin on his face as he returned the hug with his prosthetic arms.
While Undyne and Papyrus set up the bounce house, Alphys and Sans helped me set up other yard games, a piñata, a gift table, an MP3 player, and a set of large wireless speakers. The birthday cake was in the refrigerator. After the decorations and games were set up my husband fired up the grill. Frisk had requested hot dogs and burgers for the party. I had made several different side dishes the night before and set the covered dishes on a table next to the grill. Just as we finished setting up everything the other guests began to arrive bearing gifts. Asgore showed up first with Eliza and Damian in tow. That didn't surprise me at all. Asgore was never really skilled at discretion.
Soon all the guests, Monster and human, arrived which meant it was time to get the party in full swing.
Sans
Welp, my kid was turning two digits in about 24 hours. The big '1-0'. Frisk was growing up and I was proud of them. I was going to make sure they had a good time at their pre-birthday party. In the first ten minutes the adult party guests hung out while the kids played some of the yard games. It's a good thing our backyard is pretty big. That gave the kids plenty of room to run around and play. A few of them asked where Frisk was. I told them that they would be out soon. When I heard the song 'I Can't Wait' by Nu Shooz begin to play I knew the time had come. Frisk was making their grand entrance wearing brand new red overalls, a red and white striped shirt, a bright, shiny party hat cocked to the side, and a candy striped stick in their hand. It was the stick they were going to use to break their piñata. They practically danced down the back porch steps to the beat of the song, pointing the striped stick at random guests while giving them flirty winks. That Frisk is a piece of work. I love that little weirdo.
Frisk took a bow after that charming little song and dance number. From the cheers and applause from the guests I'd say they were pretty impressed. Frisk went to play with their friends in the bounce house. Paps and Undyne made sure all the kids had socks on their feet before going in, especially the kids with claws on their feet. I had donated a shit load of socks from my collection (yes, they were all clean) in case some kids didn't have any socks of their own. While the kid's played the adults mixed and mingled. I caught up with Alphys, my science sis, and her fishy waifu, Undyne.
"so, how's if feel to finally be parents?"
"It's pretty damn awesome! We couldn't ask for a better kid!" Undyne practically shouted. She has no inside voice, kind of like Paps.
"Y-yeah. MK is g-great! He's so enthusiastic about e-everything! I must admit having him around has b-brightened up my whole life! Heh heh."
"heh. i know that feeling. 'm really happy for you guys, and your kid."
"Thanks, nerd." Undyne took a quick visual survey of the party then turned back to me. "Hey, Sans, who's that bat monster chick over there?"
"that would be the lovely miss. nini."
"Hmph…I noticed she's hanging pretty close to Asgore. What's that about? Are they dating or something?"
From the gleam in her eye and the sneer on her face, I got the feeling that Undyne might be the reason Asgore's recent attempts at dating have failed so far. Nini seems to be a little feisty though, so if they are dating I doubt overprotective Undyne would be able to chase her away.
"not sure. why don't you go ask him?"
"That's sounds like a plan to me."
In spite of seeing Alphys with her facial expression full of nope and her literally mouthing the word 'no', I shut down the grill and followed Undyne to Asgore. I just had to see how this was gonna go down. Alphys got this resigned expression on her face as she followed us, I guess to keep things from getting out of hand. Asgore and Eliza were engrossed in conversation as we approached. The closer I got it became undeniable that Asgore had 'that look' on his face as he talked to Eliza. The intense gaze and that goofy grin said it all. That was the same look I'm told get when I look at Tori. That was the look of a man in love. Well, they just met so it was more likely infatuation, but even I could tell Asgore had it bad for NiNi. I wasn't too sure about her though. She was hard for me to read, but that may be because I didn't know her very well yet.
"Hey, Asgore!" Gotta hand it to her. The fish lady's got guts.
"Ah, Undyne! Greetings. How are you enjoying the festivities?"
"All's fine and dandy!" Undyne paused to look right at Miss. Niong and give her a long, hard look up and down. I held back a laugh when Eliza placed a hand on her hip and shot Undyne's stank eye right back at her. Gotta hand it to NiNi. That lady's got some sass. "Umm, Asgore, who's this?"
"This is Eliza Niong. Eliza, I would like you to meet…"
"Oh, I'm sure she knows who I am, Asgore."
"Actually, I have no clue who this rude person is," Eliza responded. Wow, her sass levels were rising and just couldn't peel my eye sockets away. Undyne looked shocked, then offended. Alphys looked like she was on the verge of a panic attack. Oh boy. Somebody needed to diffuse this situation quickly!
"What did you just say, bi-?"
Asgore immediately stepped between the two, his massive paw covering Undyne's mouth.
"Now, now, ladies. There is no need to cause a scene. We're all here to enjoy this special occasion with Frisk. Let's not lose sight of that."
I could have sworn that I saw a brief flash of green magic behind Undyne's eyepatch before she took a deep breath and calmed down. She then extended her hand to formally introduce herself.
"Hi, I'm Undyne, former captain of the Royal Guard and best Physical Education teacher at Ebott Village Elementary."
"uh…aren't you the only Phys Ed teacher at the school?"
"That's beside the point, Sans!" she growled, before flashing a fake-ass grin. Needless to say, NiNi didn't seem impressed. I snickered at recalling a pun about her stage name as The Empress responded with a limp wristed handshake.
"Eliza Niong. Nice to meet you," she stated flatly before turning her attention back to Asgore. Undyne had that pissed fish look on her face again. That lady didn't like to be ignored. Before Undyne could say anything Alphys dragged her away. Good. The last thing we needed was a brawl breaking out at my kid's birthday party.
"What'd you do that for, Alphys? I didn't even get to ask my question!" she grumbled while glaring at Eliza's back. "Anyway, I think my question's kinda been answered."
"W-what do you mean?"
"Look at her tail, you guys."
"you want us to look at her ass?"
"Oh, c'mon, Sans! It's not like I didn't notice you checking her out!" She glanced down at her girlfriend. "Don't think I didn't see you getting a good look, as well."
"W-what?"
"Just look at her tail, you two!"
"okay…it's a nice, shapely ass. Your point?"
"Her tail, you dork! What do you notice about it?"
"it's short, kind of fluffy, and grey…"
"Ugh! Fuck it. I'll explain. Her tail is pointing up and out."
"U-undyne, koibito, what are you getting at?"
"Alphys, a long time ago, before you and I got together, I dated a girl like her. A bat monster. Every time we…did it, her tail would stay in that position for hours after that. What I'm saying is that…Eliza has obviously been freshly fucked. Possibly a few hours before coming to the party."
"welp, that may be so, but that doesn't mean asgore got some tail from her."
"The way they're acting all cozy tells me otherwise. I mean, look at them! They're all up in each other's personal space!" Undyne paused and shot me a look. "Did you just…use a pun?"
"heh…maybe?"
"Damn it, Sans! Ugh! Anyway, I noticed your wife's tail is up and out too…" Eyebrow wiggle for emphasis.
"damn right it is. you know i got my priorities straight. I see that Alphys's tail is up and out as well…"
"Fuhuhu! You know it, ya bonehead!"
We gave each other a fist bump. Once she realized what we were implying my science sis choked on her drink. While Undyne tended to her embarrassed girlfriend I got called away by my wife. Apparently we were low on dogs and burgs. And here I was speaking of priorities. Heh. After the food was replenished and the kids fed, the adults hung out outside around the back yard, making sure the kids were in our sight. Tori and I got a chance to spend time with Asgore and Eliza, who had been like two peas in a pod the whole time they were there. I had to admit I was curious about Miss. Niong. I didn't know much about her besides her being a dancer at Peccadillos and that she had a son. It was no surprise that the focus our conversation was eventually steered towards her.
Toriel
As Frisk's birthday party progressed I noticed some things about Eliza. She seemed to be a skilled multitasker, keeping an eye on Damian, interacting with other guests, and spending time with Asgore. They seemed quite comfortable with each other. I found that interesting since as far as I knew they had only known each other for a week.
"So, Eliza, how did you two first meet?"
She glanced at Asgore before answering.
"Is it all right if I tell them?"
"Uh, that's fine with me. Go right ahead."
"We met at Peccadillos late last year around Gyftmas. I gave him a lapdance."
She said it in such a matter-of-fact 'eh, it's a living' way which contrasted with Asgore's squirming and blushing. I found that quite funny and adorable. It turned out that the two of them didn't cross paths again until our wedding. Sans then asked about her and her son's ages.
"Normally I would say it's none of your 'bismuth', but since you asked nicely I'll tell you. I just turned 26 last month and Damian is 10 going on 11. 'is birt-day is in October."
My goodness, her accent is so cute! And did she just make a chemistry pun? Sans seemed to perk up at that. While admiring her accent and her little pun I realized something.
"You were 15 when you had your son?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Oh my…that's quite young to be having a child. No offense."
"None taken. That was a pretty crazy time in my life. The year prior I was all set for an internship at 'da Core Lab in 'Otland. My dad was part of the research team under 'da previous Royal Scientist. 'is letter of recommendation got me 'da internship as a chemist. Unfortunately there was some kind of accident. My dad fell down and the previous Royal Scientist just…vanished. The weird thing is no one knows what 'appened to them and no one even remembers their name. Some Monsters I asked about them didn't even believe that person existed. They treated me like I was crazy. Yet I know they had to exist because I still have a copy of my dad's letter of recommendation."
At the mention of the previous Royal Scientist I noticed that my husband seemed a bit…nervous? Uncomfortable? I wasn't quite sure why, but it was obvious to me that his mood had changed. Eliza continued, as she had not picked up on Sans's discomfort, which was understandable.
"Anyway, in 'da midst of all that chaos, I met Daymie's father. 'da following year Damian was born. I dropped out of college to take care of my son while 'is father worked. Three years later 'is father walked out on us ('da bastard) with no warning or explanation. I've been on my own with my baby boy ever since, doing 'da best I can to take care of 'im."
Eliza sighed and slumped down in her chair. She seemed a bit unhappy about something. Asgore gave her an affectionate pat on the knee.
"Are you all right, Eliza?"
"Hmm…I'm just tired of the whole stripper scene. I want to quit, but at the same time I need to provide for my son. On 'da flip side I also want to spend more quality time with my baby boy, which is difficult because of the crazy hours I work. Speaking of which, I gotta work tonight." She grumbled and cursed under her breath until Asgore spoke up.
"I believe I have a solution to your issues, NiNi. For the immediate Damian can stay with me tonight while you work so you don't have to pay your babysitter for overnight care. They charge more on the weekend, right?" Eliza nodded. "Do not worry about that. I have it covered. As for a long term solution, have you considered what we discussed last week about becoming a nanny?"
"That sounds like a wonderful idea, Eliza. That will definitely give you the opportunity to spend more time with your son."
"Yeah…that does sound like 'da perfect solution. Well, do any of you know anyone who needs a nanny?"
Asgore raised a tentative paw.
"I do." He pointed to himself for emphasis. "I could really use some help with Frisk, especially for the up coming summer. They will be spending most of it with me, and I think you would be perfect for the position. I just need input from Toriel and Sans, since they have joint custody of Frisk."
Both Asgore and Eliza gave Sans and I expectant looks.
"I would be happy to approve, but we all need input from the people at the center of this issue."
I called Frisk and Damian over. From their wary expressions I could tell they were wondering if they were in any trouble. I assured them that was not the case. Frisk stood at attention by my chair and snapped a salute while Damian stood next to his mother.
"Frisk, dear, I need your honest opinion about something. How would you feel about Miss. Niong becoming your nanny?"
Frisk immediately gasped, pumped their fists in the air and started jumping for joy. My child obviously approved of the idea. At the same time Damian was grinning so hard it was pretty clear that he agreed as well.
"It looks like we have two votes of approval so far. Sans, what do you think?"
"i'm down for anything that'll help good ol' fluffybuns."
Asgore got a look on his face that screamed 'I wish I could lay that nickname to rest and bury it for good.' His expression softened when Eliza giggled cutely at the jape.
"Well, now that that is settled, when can you start, Eliza?"
"Uhh…I can give 'eats Flamesman my month's notice tonight. He'll need about that long to find someone to take my place."
"You may as well give your landlord notice as well."
"Huh? Why?"
"My apologize for being unclear. I am hiring you to be a live-in nanny…so you and your son will be living with me."
Both Eliza and Damian were stunned silent for a few seconds until the dancer's son had one hell of an excited outburst.
"'OLY SUGAR STICKS! YA MEAN TO BE TELLIN' ME WE'LL BE LIVIN' IN YOUR MANSION, SIR?"
"Well, five bedrooms is not a mansion, but yes…"
"OH, MAMA! WE DON'T HAVE TO LIVE IN THAT TINY APARTMENT WITH THAT MEAN OLD LADY AS OUR LANDLORD! THIS IS AWESOME!"
In the end Frisk was happy, Damian was happy, hell, everyone was happy. In the midst of all the overflowing happiness our children took NiNi by the hand and dragged her over to Frisk's friends to share the great news. Sans leaned back in his chair, hands clasped behind his skull seeming quite satisfied about…something.
"welp, that interview went smoothly, don't cha think?"
"Quite," Asgore agreed. "I don't even think she realized that's what it was."
"Really, Asgore," I chuckled. "Did you actually think I would not see that this was really about?"
"Toriel, what are you suggesting?"
"All of…that…was to get us to cosign you moving your new girlfriend in with you so you can fuck her."
"W-what? You're on about that again?"
By now sans was doubled over with laughter while my ex-husband looked slightly irritated.
"Oh, Asgore, you make teasing you so easy!" I took a moment to compose myself. "Seriously, Dreemurr, it's pretty obvious how you feel about her. My question is does she know?"
"I…uh…no."
"Look, I am not going to tell you the right time to tell her, but I suggest you tell her soon."
"I will…keep your advice in mind."
"That being said, it is five o-clock. Time for the busting of the piñata."
"maybe later on tonight you could bust something else, eh Asgore?" Sans muttered as we headed over to where the children were. Asgore's exasperated sigh and glowing blush was one of the highlights of my day. Overall, Frisk's birthday party was a good time all around.
Next Chapter: Part 8: Rhythm Is a Dancer
