A/N: This chapter turned into a utter behemoth, so I decided to split it in two parts for ease of consumption (and writing). Part II should be up in a few days.
Also, in response to the recent purging rumors, I would like to start posting my works on other sites, in addition to this one. I am familiar with Archive Of Our Own, but that's about it. If you have any suggestions of where else I should be posting (or perhaps have an Archive invite you'd be willing to share), please shoot me a PM.
As always, thanks for reading.
Chapter 7: Haunted, part I
Not tho' the soldiers knew
Someone had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred
Liara was beginning to regret her demand to come along on this mission. Really, she should have realized something was amiss when Garrus so willingly gave up his spot in the squad, after the asari had marched determinately into the cargo bay and flat out announced that she was going. Chakwas had cleared her for full duty weeks ago, but Shepard was obviously avoiding her and appeared in no rush to allow the asari back into the field. After several unsuccessful attempts at cornering the slippery commander, Liara decided that the only way she was going to get off the Normandy again was if she took matters into her own hands. And so that was what she had done - striding into the cargo bay with barely a word and slapping on her armor, all the while giving Shepard a heated look that dared the human to argue with her. Shepard had just heaved a sigh and glanced over to Garrus, prompting the turian to practically sprint away in happiness.
And now Liara understood why.
She desperately clung to the sides of her seat as the Mako barreled over another steep hill, cursing the military vehicle's spartan design. Apparently none of the designers thought to include an armrest or additional handholds, but Liara suspected that the tank also hadn't been intended to driven so maniacally.
"Goddammit! Why can't we ever land somewhere flat?" Shepard cursed through clenched teeth. Her hands fiercely gripped the controls as she gunned the accelerator to climb out of the ravine they had tumbled into. Liara let out an audible groan.
"It wouldn't be so bad if you did not insist on driving over every hill," Liara snapped. Her stomach lurched as Shepard hit the thrusters and sent the tank sailing over a rocky outcropping.
"It's not me! This thing handles like shit," Shepard replied, swerving suddenly to avoid another ravine.
"Maybe you ought to take up Garrus's offer about the extra training, Skipper." Ashley spoke up from the rear of the vehicle as she hung onto the cannon turret for dear life.
"I can drive just fine, Chief," Shepard snapped, jaw twitching spasmodically.
"I do not know what you call this, Shepard, but it is not driving," Liara retorted, and was rewarded with an appreciative snort from the gunnery chief. Over the past several weeks it appeared that they had settled into something of an unspoken truce, especially whenever an opportunity arose to mock the commander. Liara turned slightly to give Ashley a small smile, but immediately regretted it when the Mako lurched sharply and she was assailed with another wave of nausea.
Shepard just frowned humorlessly and ignored her crew's remarks. "Where the hell is this place, anyway? I thought we were less than two clicks away."
Liara barely managed to suppress an exasperated sigh. "I sent you the nav point when we landed. The location is due east." She had been assigned to the navigation station, but could only manage the occasional glance at the rollicking display before being overcome with motion sickness. She took a deep breath and steeled herself as she scanned the console's readout. "It is just over there." Liara let out a shaky breath and pointed to a nearby ridge, certain that her usually sky blue skin tone was now a distinct shade of teal.
"Where?" Shepard's features screwed into a look of confusion as she peered out the windshield. "Never mind - got it." The Mako veered wildly and the tank growled as the commander sent it barreling up a ninety degree incline. Liara and Ashley were pressed back into their seats while Shepard leaned forward, as if propelling the vehicle up the craggy hill by sheer force of will.
"Goddess, Shepard, there is a road right there!" Liara gestured sharply with one hand while the other grasped at her seat.
The commander made a dismissive grunting sound. "There's no road - " she began, before stopping herself as the Mako suddenly leveled out and they found themselves sitting on a narrow path that had been carved into the side of the plateau. Just over the lip of the ridge was the small, squat compound they had been searching for. Shepard tossed a sheepish glance towards Liara, then sent the tank rumbling towards the target.
Liara never thought death could look so beautiful.
The asari had always been in awe of Shepard's proficiency on the battlefield, but there was something about this engagement that was different. Maybe it was because Liara hadn't been on a mission for so long, or perhaps these mercs were just exceptionally inept. Whatever the reason, Liara could barely keep her eyes off Shepard as she deftly cut through the meager resistance they faced. She moved effortlessly, running and dropping and rolling with the grace of a dancer. There were no wasted movements, no needlessly expended energy. The rapport of Shepard's assault rifle rang sharp and clear in Liara's senses as the human released short, controlled bursts of fire. The asari hung on the commander's hip as they swept the exterior of the compound, augmenting Shepard's fire with her own newly-modded rifle and timely biotics.
Ashley was good, of course, but she wasn't Shepard. The chief was skilled, but wielded her shotgun like a battering ram, blowing through their opposition with a wildly violent flair. Shepard was more like a surgeon, dispatching the mercs with a cool and efficient precision. The commander's voice never wavered over the comm, remaining calm and measured even as both Liara's and Ashley's rose in excitement.
"We're pinned down!" Ashley exclaimed as she hunkered down behind a covered power grid. Shepard hunched next to the chief. Liara had taken cover behind a similar structure several yards away.
"Huh. Looks like it," Shepard replied blandly, even as a hail of gunfire poured down on them. There were only three mercs left, and they had taken up position on the compound's roof to bear down on the advancing squad. Shepard glanced up at the building, then looked over to Liara's position. Their gaze met over the distance. Shepard's eyes reflected the bright sunlight, and for a moment the human's and the asari's irises were the same shade of blue.
"Okay, I'll draw their fire," Shepard announced, still looking at Liara. "Hit them as soon as I leave. Coming to you, Liara."
The commander took off without waiting for an acknowledgment, sprinting across the open land towards the asari. The mercs followed her movement, turning their attention to the darting figure. Shepard lowered her head and dashed forward, bullets biting at her ankles and pinging loudly off her shields. As the human shot towards Liara's position, Ashley deftly switched to her rifle and launched a barrage towards the distracted mercs. Her fire caused the mercs to change their cover, and Liara sent a massive singularity towards their position just as Shepard slid in wildly next to her, kicking up a cloud of dust and debris. She twisted awkwardly as she landed and nearly ended up in Liara's lap. The asari reached down and placed a steadying hand on Shepard's shoulder, keeping her eyes trained on the roof of the compound, watching the mercs flail about in the gravity well. There were a few more pops from Ashley's rifle, then silence.
Shepard waited a few moments, still flopped haphazardly against Liara's side. "What do you see, Chief?" she called out.
"Nothin' but the stars, Skipper," Ashley answered triumphantly. "We're clear."
Liara glanced down at Shepard, her cheeks flushing suddenly when she saw that her hand had unconsciously migrated from the human's shoulder to her exposed neck. She quickly pulled back and went to reload her rifle. If Shepard had noticed the asari's touch she gave no indication; instead clambering to her feet and moving out from behind the cover. Liara scrambled to follow, taking up her usual position just off the commander's right hip. The three women converged seamlessly on the entrance to the compound.
Shepard went down to one knee and Liara stood over her, both training their weapons on the door as Ashley bypassed the controls. Liara noticed a thin line of blood streaming from the commander's temple, running steadily down the side of her face. She frowned slightly and found herself wishing yet again that the stubborn commander would just wear a blasted helmet.
"I'm fine, Li," Shepard said suddenly, roughly swiping at her face without looking back at the asari.
Liara blinked, wondering how she had been so transparent, but decided not to give Shepard the satisfaction of catching her off guard. "'Li'?" she asked instead, a fair amount of dryness in her tone.
Shepard shrugged noncommittally. "I'm a busy person. I don't have time for all three syllables."
Liara rolled her eyes as Ashley stepped back from the entrance controls. The door slid open, and the squad entered the darkened compound.
Shepard entered the room first, followed closely by Liara, then Ashley. The two women immediately moved to either side of the commander once they cleared the door, sweeping their weapons around the small control room. Shepard felt a pang of guilt as Liara gracefully took up her position across from Ashley, acutely aware that the asari was still upset with her for suggesting she leave the Normandy, and Shepard's obvious avoidance of the issue hadn't helped matters any. The commander couldn't deny that Liara's skills had improved dramatically, and she appeared hell bent on proving it to the human on this mission. Shepard chided herself yet again on how clumsily she had handled the situation, and decided she would have to determine how to make it up to Liara. Although, she supposed that the radical strategy of a direct, mature conversation with the archaeologist would probably do wonders.
Shepard shook her head slightly, clearing her thoughts as the three of them quickly closed on a mercenary aiming a pistol at a terrified scientist.
"You're the last one!" The merc exclaimed, cocking his weapon and stepping closer to the scientist. "I'll finally pay you bastards back for what you did to me!" He was wild-eyed and covered in sweat, but for as unbalanced as he looked, he handled the pistol with confidence and ease. It was plain to Shepard that the merc had undergone years of rigorous combat training, and was not to be taken lightly. The scientist, for his part, was shaking uncontrollably and trying to plead with his raving captor.
"W-what are you talking about? I – we – didn't do anything to you! I've never seen you before!" He raised his hands, palms out, and kept backing away from the merc. He was wearing what seemed to be a white uniform/lab coat combination, emblazoned with an official-looking logo that Shepard didn't recognize. Her eyes narrowed as kept her rifle trained on the merc and took a step forward.
"Hey! Wait a second!" she snapped, drawing the merc's attention. He glanced over to her and immediately did a double take.
"S-Shepard?" he asked weakly.
Shepard's eyes widened in disbelief as she slowly lowered her rifle. "Corporal Toombs?" she said, her voice barely above a whisper. The color drained from her face. "B-but how? I saw the thresher pull you down, on Akuze…you were gone." Behind her, Shepard heard surprised gasps from both her companions, but they didn't speak. Shepard's mind raced as she tried to comprehend what she was seeing. Toombs had been next to her as they were running for the dropship when the two threshers burst forth as if they had come from hell itself. She went left, he went right…and she screamed his name as he was snatched up in the claws of a monster.
"Yeah, it dragged me down. But I lived, just barely, and then these fucks found me," he spat through clenched teeth, never taking his eyes off his prisoner as he spoke.
"God, Toombs, I had no idea. I would have looked for you-"
"That doesn't matter now!" Toombs cried, his voice raising an octave. He looked over at Shepard and they locked eyes for the first time. "Do you know that it's their fault? They killed our unit! Our whole fucking unit!"
"What…?" Shepard frowned. Toombs was now shaking almost as much as the scientist and looking more deranged with each passing moment. "What are you talking about?" she asked, eyeing the corporal skeptically. Shepard made a slight gesture with her hand, ensuring both Liara and Ashley kept their rifles trained on him.
"It was a setup, a trap, by an organization called Cerberus. They do all sorts of fucked up experiments. They knew there was a thresher nest on Akuze and they wanted to study them. So they planted the distress call , waited for us to respond, and watched while everyone was slaughtered!" Toombs finger tightened on the pistol's trigger. "And when they found out I was alive, oh boy were they happy! They took me and kept me in a lab for two years. They fucking tortured me!"
Shepard felt like she had been slugged in the stomach. The air rushed out of her lungs and her head started to swim. Akuze a setup? Her unit had been killed…deliberately? Her eyes darkened as she fixed the scientist with an icy glare. Her rifle slowly began to rise.
"Is this true?" A muscle twitched in her jaw.
"You have no evidence! I demand a fair trial!" the scientist spat, suddenly defiant. "You can't-"
He was cut off by a vicious backhand that sent him sprawling onto the floor. Shepard was on him instantly, jamming her boot into his throat. "Is. This. True?" she repeated coolly, as she slowly began crushing his windpipe. Liara and Ashley exchanged worried glances, but remained silent.
The scientist struggled under the commander's heavy boot, but to no avail. "Can't…prove…anything…" he gasped, his lips curling into a snarl even as they began turning blue.
"I'll take that as a yes." Shepard cocked her rifle and jabbed the barrel into the scientist's cheek.
"No, Shepard, this is my kill!" Toombs rushed forward, training his pistol at the felled scientist. "I have to do it."
"You'll get prosecuted, Toombs. I'm a Spectre. I won't," Shepard replied flatly. Her earlier disbelief was now replaced with blind, murderous rage. Her cool eyes now radiated heat from the sheer intensity of her anger and were burning a hole through the scientist's skull. Her jaw clenched violently and her trigger finger began to twitch. She no longer heard his pleas for mercy, or Toomb's protestations. All she could hear were the cries of her dying squadmates as they burned alive, the crack and hiss of skin bubbling as the thresher acid liquefied them were they stood. Now, finally, there someone to answer for her years of nightmares, of guilt, of the crushing burden that were her memories of death and destruction.
"Shepard." A familiar voice cut through Shepard's haze, drawing her back into reality. She whipped around and saw Liara standing over her left shoulder. "Don't. Killing this man will not bring anyone back," she spoke softly, catching the commander's feverish gaze. Shepard looked into Liara's calm blue eyes, the telltale muscles of her jaw twitching wildly. The asari took a cautious step forward and placed a hand on Shepard's bicep. Her gentle touch had the effect of cool water on a fire. Shepard felt her pulse begin to slow. Her anger dissipated She glared back down at the scientist and, after a long moment, slowly raised her boot.
A single shot rang out and the scientist's head exploded, splattering blood and matter across Shepard's shins. She looked over at Toombs, his expression a mixture of surprise and relief. A lone tendril of smoke rose from the barrel of his pistol. "It's over. It's over," he repeated. Their eyes met. "Will the voices stop now?" he asked plaintively, backing away from the Spectre. Shepard glanced down and idly kicked at the corpse, the distinct dark red splatters standing out in sharp contrast to her white armor. She sighed heavily.
"No. It never stops. But it does get better." Shepard looked back up at Toombs. He seemed oddly calm. A look of serenity crossed his features and his hand was steadily holding his pistol out to his side. She frowned slightly as her eyes flicked from the weapon to Toombs' face and back again. Her entire body tensed as she was filled with a new sense of dread.
"You know, all the vids say that you're the only survivor of Akuze, Shepard," Toombs said quietly, still holding his pistol out at that awkward angle.
Shepard began stepping towards the corporal. "Toombs…Aaron…it's over. It's done. Let's get out of here," she said evenly, glancing quickly at Ashley. The gunnery chief began moving to intercept Toombs. The commander heard a slight crackle as Liara's biotics flared behind her, raising the hair on the back of her neck. Shepard kept her eyes on the man before her. "They can't hurt you anymore, Aaron. You got them. Give me the gun." She reached out her hand. "C'mon, give me the gun…"
"The only survivor…" Toombs murmured. He down at his pistol, then back up at Shepard. "Who am I to argue?"
He jammed the pistol underneath his chin and fired.
Shepard shot forward and caught the corporal as he fell. Her hand went behind his head as she wrapped her other arm around his waist, enveloping him in a macabre embrace. Blood and viscera poured over her hand and ran down her forearm as she gently lowered Toombs' body to the deck. She sat down heavily next to him, cross legged, and stared blankly at the remains of her friend. "Jesus Christ, Aaron," she said simply, shaking her head. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Ashley step aside and discretely call for an Alliance transport. Liara knelt down next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Joker says there's a frigate about an hour out, Skipper," Ashley reported solemnly.
Shepard nodded. "You two head back to the Normandy. I'll wait here," she said dully, never taking her eyes off Toombs.
"I'm staying with you," Liara immediately announced. She glanced up at Ashley, who gave a slight nod in agreement.
Shepard said nothing. Toombs' eyes were still open and trained directly at the commander, his irises vibrant even in death. She sighed heavily, reached underneath his visor and gently drew his eyelids closed. Shepard had no idea his eyes were so green.
Kaidan paced back and forth across the mess hall kitchenette, wringing his hands nervously. "Are you sure we shouldn't do something? She's been in there for almost an hour."
Ashley sighed and continued idly shuffling the deck of cards someone had left on one of the mess hall tables. "I'm sure as hell not going in there. She'll come out when she's ready."
Kaidan stopped pacing and looked over at Liara, seemingly for support. The asari was leaning against the wall near the elevator, occasionally casting a worried glance at Shepard's cabin. Her clear blue eyes flicked over to the fidgeting lieutenant, and she just shook her head.
"Shepard can be...less than forthright about her feelings. I agree with Chief Williams." A slight tinge of annoyance was noticeable in the asari's reply.
"But think of what just happened!" Kaidan protested. "Can you imagine what that must have been like for her? To find out her entire platoon was sent into a trap, and then having one of them..." Kaidan shook his head, unable to complete the sentence.
Liara shifted uncomfortably, thinking about the haunted, faraway look she had seen in Shepard's sapphire eyes. She glanced back at the cabin door without speaking. Kaidan looked at them both incredulously.
"Fine, I'll check on her," he said, stepping towards the cabin in a righteous act of decisiveness. Ashley rose quickly to intercept him.
"Let Liara do it," she said, placing a bracing hand on his chest. The gunnery chief gave the Liara a meaningful look. The asari sighed, then nodded slightly and moved from her spot on the wall.
Kaidan's dark brow furrowed in confusion. "Why Liara?"
Ashley rolled her eyes and sat back down. "Because she's the prettiest." She shuffled the cards again and began dealing. "C'mon LT, I haven't kicked your ass at gin in nearly a week."
Kaidan let out a grumble and reluctantly pulled up a chair. Ashley looked over the officer's broad shoulder and once again locked eyes with Liara, who was just hovering outside Shepard's cabin. Ashley looked at her for a long moment, and Liara suddenly understood just what the human was trying to convey. She turned back to the cabin, a new, heavy weight of responsibility on her shoulders. Whatever Shepard's condition, it was now her job to fix it.
