Sorry I didn't get a chance to reply to everyone's reviews this time around. I promise I'll get to it next time though because I do love them so.
Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of these characters, but can I just borrow Kain for one night pretty please?
There were hammers pounding at the inside of her head. At least thats the way it felt as Ruka forced her eyelids open. Sleeping in probably would have been more conducive to a quick recovery from a hangover, but unfortunately her inner clock was set to six pm.
Normally, she enjoyed this time of night, when the house was quiet and there was plenty of time to herself. It was usually calming to watch the sun set as the comforting darkness of night sank in.
This night, however, the soft light peeking out from under the drapes streaked her pillow and created daggers of pain that seemed to shoot straight to the retinas of her eyes. No wonder Aidou couldn't stand the setting sunlight. The way he spent most nights, he probably woke up feeling like this all the time.
The thought of Hanabusa triggered the memory of the previous night.
Oh god.
At a sudden wave of nausea, she rolled onto her side and curled up around her stomach, squeezing her eyes shut tight against the invasive graphic images that played like a horror film in her mind's eye. That man's hands had been violating and groping her skin and then there had been so much blood.
Ruka covered her face with her hands, as if she could somehow hide or possibly even disappear. She had killed the human. Shock no longer prevented her from coming to this realization and the knowledge sunk in like a heavy weight pressing her into the bed. This had to be some kind of nightmare. This couldn't possibly be real. She had always done everything that she was supposed to, behaved like a lady, obeyed her parents' orders, followed Kaname despite how much it had broken her heart. Things like this simply didn't happen to people like her.
But apparently they did.
Oh how she wished she could go back in time and ignore Aidou's request. She should have never gone with him, should have never had anything to drink. The whole night she had been so thoughtless and so incredibly stupid. How was she supposed to live with herself after something like this?
But living with herself was something she would somehow have to accomplish, no matter how impossible it seemed. If she could manage to suppress this and keep it hidden within herself, then maybe on the outside it could appear that everything was normal. Still, some people would have to know and she would surely receive some form of punishment.
For only a few minutes, Ruka simply lay in bed, letting pathetic tears soak the pillow beneath her cheek. It was all the time she allowed herself before groggily picking herself up. What was done, was done. There was no turning back. She had been raised with rules and regulations that were far too stringent to allow herself to simply stay in bed.
Like some kind of mechanical apparition, she went through the motions of her dusk routine. She showered, she brushed her teeth, fifty strokes of a brush through her hair, a light coat of carefully applied make up. From her dresser, a neatly folded white blouse and from her closet an ironed and pleated navy skirt. Ignore the thoughts of those sweaty groping hands. Ignore the blood, the sluggish sedatives, the fear.
In a temporary moment of insanity, she thought about burning what was left of the violet dress. Somehow it was on the floor next to her bed, although she had no memory of taking it off. It was simply there, wrinkled and slightly wet. She steeled herself against the urge to fall to her knees and rip it to threads with her bare hands and teeth. How ridiculous. It was just a tattered piece of cloth, yet she stood there staring at it, as if it were a black hole in the center of the floor. She brushed aside the idea of leaving it there on the carpet. It would only still be there waiting for her when she returned.
Quickly, she grabbed it in a fist and marched out of the room. Pure resilience kept her from shattering as she carried it down the hall, into the laundry room and threw it in the trash bin. Then, as if it would magically chase her, she all but ran out of the tiny dank room and slammed the door behind her.
Tiredly, she leaned her back against the door. This was ridiculous. Why was she acting like this? It was only a dress. Nothing about it should make her feel these cold pinpricks of inner terror, even though it was covered in tiny red specks of splattered blood.
At another wave of nausea, she lifted a hand to press against her stomach. If she hadn't felt so sickly ashamed she would have laughed at herself, but there was nothing funny about the situation. Instead of acting like a fool, she needed to organize her thoughts. She needed to think this through.
Her memory was more than fuzzy. Some detailed images had left an imprint in her mind, yet the order of events was unclear. She placed a hand over her eyes as if it would stop intruding memories even as she tried to concentrate and place them into a time line.
There was the man at the bar, the drinks, the hands groping her, the nail file and then the blood. Then what had happened? Somebody had taken her home...
Akatsuki.
How had he known she was there? Vaguely she remembered being in a car. He must have driven her home. The shooting pain in her temples increased as she tried to remember anything else.
It didn't matter. She needed to talk to Kaname. No, she needed to talk to Akatsuki first and then to Kaname. Kain was always cool and collected. If nothing else, he could help her put the pieces together.
With a slight relief at having a plan, she walked down the hall to his room. No matter what, Kain had always been there for her, a big brother who always lent a listening ear. Somehow she would have to get through this, but she wouldn't have to get through it alone.
Kain's room was only a few doors down from hers and she didn't hesitate before giving it a few soft knocks. Her ears picked up the rustle of cloth and the sound of footsteps before the door opened.
Any words she had been about to say suddenly left her as she became totally speechless. Kain stood there with one hand still on the door, in black jeans and no shirt. Instantly, she was confronted with his bare chest. Lightly tanned skin stretched over muscles that were chiseled and defined. He must have just gotten out of the shower, because his reddish hair was dark and wet and her eyes glued to a bead of water that slowly dripped down his stomach along thin line of light colored hair beneath his navel. Her mouth went dry as that little drop hit the cloth of his jeans where the first button was still unfastened.
"I...ummm." she stuttered as her mind went blank. What was it she had been about to say?
"Come in. We have to talk." He stepped aside still holding the door.
Ruka swallowed, feeling surprisingly uncomfortable but forced herself to step inside. Why was she all of a sudden feeling this way? It wasn't like she had never seen him with his shirt off. An evening of near rape and murder must certainly put a person on edge. But still, when had he become so...masculine?
He looked tired as he shut the door behind her and she noticed that his bed was still made. At first she wondered if he hadn't slept but then she remembered that, unlike his cousin, he had always kept his space neat. Nervously, she glanced around the room from the open bathroom door that was still slightly steamy from a recent shower to the shelves of thick history books that he for some reason found so interesting.
Even though he had said they needed to talk, he was silent and stood there simply gazing down at her with a penetrating chocolate brown stare. It was then that her eyes caught the sight of a tempting blue vein at the side of his neck and it instantly hit her.
She bit him last night! Her senses flooded with the memory of his thick sweet blood filling her mouth and sliding down her throat. Heat flushed her skin as she remembered clinging to him with her breasts pressed up against his hard muscled chest. She was completely unprepared for the melting of her insides as heated desire pooled at the bottom of her stomach from the memory of the way he had held her with strong hands kneading her flesh. Then she remembered what she had seen in the private images in his mind.
"Oh!" she gasped as she covered her mouth with her hand.
Akatsuki wanted to have sex with her.
At least that was the only way she could make sense of his thoughts.
He winced as he took in her expression. "I'm sorry I wasn't there earlier last night."
"Oh no..." she hastily corrected him. "Its not that...its just that...I've never done anything like that before and I had forgotten until just now."
He put a warm hand on her shoulder. "Ruka, you only did what you had to in order to protect yourself. If I had been there earlier I would have done the same."
"No..I mean, I've never done that either but the other thing..." she trailed off. Oh why was she babbling like an idiot?
Neither one of them spoke. They had always been so comfortable together in silence, but now Ruka felt so awkward she almost wanted to run out of the room. While standing here only feet away from him, the brief silence of a few seconds seemed to stretch forever and she couldn't even look him in the face as her cheeks grew hot with an embarrassed flush.
"Ah," his hand fell back down to his side. "the other thing..."
Her discomfort grew to an almost intolerable level and her feet backed towards the door even as her hands itched to touch his bare skin. Her breasts ached as her body practically begged her to wrap her arms around his shoulders, press herself against him and sink her fangs into his neck.
"I..I'm s-sorry for intruding." She stuttered as her back hit the door and her hand fumbled with the knob. "I'll let you get dressed."
And with that last barely audible sentence, she was out the door.
Kain's hand tightened into a fist as he listened to her light footsteps quickly running down the hall. She was afraid of him. Afraid of him and possibly even disgusted. She hadn't said so but the look on her face had spoken for itself. The way her eyes had widened and the way she had covered her mouth with her hand made it seem like she was worried he was going to jump her bones right then and there.
All he had ever wanted was her. Her gentle smile, her soft skin, her intelligent eyes. These were things he wanted to see every day. Of course he wanted more than friendship but he had managed to allow himself to be content with at least the close relationship of a best friend. Now, he had even managed to ruin that.
He closed his eyes as the image of her standing in the doorway etched itself into his mind. It was obvious that she was trying to keep it together, and to others she would most likely appear to be her usual self, but he could see the differences. After so many days watching her, he picked up on them with a natural intuition.
There were dark circles under her eyes and her lips had been stretched thin, as if she was trying to keep her emotions held inside. No doubt, she was blaming herself for everything. It was in her nature to do so. She always felt the need to take responsibility for things, even if they weren't her fault.
He hadn't lied. They needed to talk. Not about what she had seen while drinking his blood, because it was obvious she wanted to avoid that. They needed to talk about what they were going to do about the fact that there had been two vampires and one human in an enclosed booth, and only the two vampires had come out alive.
Maybe because of the way it had happened, with a weapon instead of fangs, it wouldn't be expected it had been a vampire who killed the human. In the long run, it wouldn't matter, but it could at least help them stall for time. Under Kaname's rules, a vampire killing a human was the worst taboo. She had done it in self defense and the bastard deserved it, but the vampire hunters wouldn't see it that way.
He walked to his closet and threw on a shirt. If he knew Ruka, and he most certainly did, the first thing she was going to do would be confess to Kaname and ask for some type of ridiculous punishment that she didn't deserve. It was reckless, it was unnecessary and he had to stop her before she decided to make that move.
She might hate him and she might never want to see him again, but he was going to protect her whether she liked it or not.
Meh this chapter didn't quite come out the way I wanted it to, but there should be more thoughts from Ruka and some Aidou coming up.
Please, tell me what you think so far! Love it? Hate it? I want to hear your thoughts. ^_^
