Miskinhas: Your wait is over.
blondehairedknowitall: Thank you. Glad you like it. Here's the next chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Thor.
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Chapter 7: Nightmares
Mackensie was surrounded by complete darkness, a darkness so dense it was suffocating. The temperature fluctuated dramatically every few seconds: one moment felt like she was in the heart of a volcano, the next felt as if she was completely naked in a cold that was absolute zero. The darkness suddenly vanished, and it became so bright that it burned. The light was in her eyes even after she had closed them.
When she was finally able to open them without going blind, she saw the bloody, mutilated bodies of her sisters. She could feel that it was them even though they had been chopped up so much as to be unrecognizable. She tried to close her eyes, but found that she couldn't. She looked away, only to see the bodies of her brothers in the same condition as her sisters. She tried looking in a different direction, only to see the bodies of her parents. They, too, were mutilated beyond recognition.
She tried to run away, but she might as well have tried to swim through peanut butter. Also, it felt like something was clawing at her legs, trying to slow her down even more. She looked down to find that something was clawing at her legs: the bloodied hands of her family.
She heard their voices, telling her that she had failed to protect them, asking her why she had done nothing to help them, asking her what they had done to make her hate them so much that she would betray them in such a way. Other voices, strangers' voices, joined in, asking her the same things.
She tried to escape, only to be mobbed by horrifying images of soldiers and beasts slaughtering her family, or, worse, herself slaughtering them. She tried to scream, but couldn't open her mouth. She kept trying. Her mouth finally opened and she took a deep breath and. . .
Mackensie sat up in bed in a cold sweat. No scream escaped her lips. She had trained herself better than that. The memory of the nightmare was already fading. She couldn't remember any of it, but she knew it had been horrible, just like it had been every single night for the past two years.
Knowing that she would not fall asleep again anytime soon, she threw off the covers and left her bedroom. She walked as quietly as she could, even though she knew none of her sisters would wake up. They had all had a busy day helping Loki settle in. She walked down the stairs, into the kitchen, and turned on the light, only to find someone already there.
She jumped as the dark figure turned around, only to reveal that it was Loki. He had a cup of milk in one hand and a box of Thin Mints in the other. When it clicked in Makensie's mind who it was, she relaxed.
"Why are you still up?" she asked in a whisper.
"I could ask you the same thing," Loki responded, also in a whisper. Neither of them spoke for a minute, then Loki said "I couldn't sleep."
"Why not?" Mackensie asked, even though she was pretty sure she knew what the answer would be.
"The nightmares I had during my curse; they haunt me." Yup, she was right. "I can barely remember them, and what memories I still have are fading, but I haven't forgotten how much they terrified me."
Mackensie got herself a cup of milk and hopped up on the counter next to where Loki stood, helping herself to a couple of cookies, talking as she did so. "Byleistr and Helblindi were like that after I healed them. Except they knew what was coming. You had no idea what would happen to you."
"They knew about the curse?" Loki asked.
"Mother and Father decided that each of us would be told about it when we reached the age equivalent to that of a mortal teenager," Mackensie replied.
"Then why do Alcina and Keitha know about it? They're not at that age yet."
"We were visiting Jotunheim when the curse took Byleistr, so they demanded to know what was happening. It took him fast. He was the first one to be affected, so it would also be my first time healing. I was so nervous. I almost didn't want to go through with it."
"But if you hadn't, then Byleistr would have died."
"Yes."
There was an awkward moment of silence.
"Were they frightened?" Macknesie turned to Loki with a questioning look. "Were Byleistr and Helblindi frightened by the knowledge of the curse, of what would happen to them?"
"Father used to say that only the greatest fool is not frightened by something frightening," Mackensie answered. "Yes, they were frightened, but I think I was more frightened than either of them."
"Why?" Loki asked. "You were not the one who would have died. You were not the one who had to endure such nightmares and excruciating pain." Mackensie looked at the floor.
"But I would have been the one who failed them. If I had not cured them, Byleistr and Helblindi would have only died. Their souls would be free of pain and they would have no more worries. I, however, would live the rest of my life with the guilt that I could have done something to help them, and didn't. I would live with the guilt that I had let them die. I would never have been able to face my mother and father again knowing that I was the reason they would never see their sons alive again." She paused, then continued.
"And you're wrong about the nightmares and pain." Loki looked at her quizzically. Mackensie didn't notice. "It's part of my curse. Whenever I healed one of my brothers, I felt every bit of pain that they did, that you did. I saw all of your nightmares. I know what terrifies you the most, what you are most afraid of seeing, who you are most afraid of losing. You experienced it only once, but I had to endure it three times. And it got harder each time. I had a sense of what to expect, but I could never imagine such terrors. There were times during the healing that I wanted to give up, but I knew that I couldn't or else you would die. I experienced all the nightmares and pain without the thought that Death would come to take me away from it all. But I still had to, for Byleistr and Helblindi. And for you."
Tears started to fall from her eyes as she spoke. They came faster as she continued, and they came in larger numbers. She wiped them away after she finished talking, but they just kept coming. She finally buried her face in her hands, sobbing, letting the tears flow.
Loki was silent. He was thinking back on her words. What terrified him the most? What was he most afraid of seeing? Who was he most afraid of losing? He had never truly been terrified, except for when he saw his arm turn blue the first time. There were quite a few things he didn't want to see, but none of them were enough to frighten him. There weren't a lot of people he cared about so much that he would be devastated if he lost them. There were his sisters, but he hadn't know about them when the curse struck. There was Frigga, the woman who had raised him and loved him like her own son, but he had the odd feeling that she wasn't the only one he had dreamed about.
So what had he dreamed about those nights in the Healing Room? He couldn't remember. Mackensie knew, as she also saw his nightmares, but he didn't think she would tell him. Not now at least.
He turned to his sister and asked "Why are you still awake at this hour?"
Mackensie lifted her head to look at him. There were tear stains on her face, and her eyes were bloodshot. She didn't speak for a while. He almost though she wouldn't answer.
"I, too, am haunted by the nightmares I witnessed," she finally said. "I am haunted by nightmares of my own. I can never remember what happened in them, but I remember how they made me feel. This happened after I cured Byleistr and Helblindi. I have no more brothers to heal, so I will never have to experience that ever again, thank Yggdrasill. But I am still recovering from when I healed you."
Loki was once again silent. His own experiences with the curse were horrible enough. Mackensie had to endure all of that three times. He felt a sudden wave of respect for his sister. She must be so strong, to know what was coming and still force herself to go through it, to save the people she loved. Would he ever have the courage to do something like that?
He didn't know what brought it on, but he suddenly found himself with his arm around his sister, holding her close. She started crying again. Loki let her. They stayed like that for a few minutes, neither of them moving. Finally, Mackensie dried her eyes and lifted her face. She smiled at Loki.
"Thanks for listening," she said.
"Thank you for listening," he responded.
Both of them suddenly turned their heads towards the stairs.
"GO TO BED, YOU LOT!" they shouted in unison.
Thunder was heard as five girls ran back into their bedrooms and closed their doors. A second passed before the doors opened again, and five voices yelled out "HYPOCRITES!" before slamming shut again.
"How long do you think they were listening?" Loki asked.
"Long enough," Mackensie answered. The two of them laughed. "They're right, though. We should get to bed."
They finished their milk and polished off half a box of cookies before finally heading upstairs. Loki watched Mackensie as she walked into her room and closed the door, smiling to himself before entering his own room.
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The Loki-Mackensie scenes I promised! So what did you think? Was it too cheesy?
This might be the last chapter. I don't know if I'll write another one after this. No sequel. Sorry. There will be a sequel for Heal Me. Be sure to check it out. If you don't know what that story is, look it up. It's awesome.
