I sigh. "Jessica, what do I do?" I ask softly. She smiles and touches my arm.
"What you think is best." she replies. I smile at her support but can't grasp what to do. The problem is…. I don't know what's the best thing to do.
A few months later:
I go to drop willow off at daycare, I feel the other women staring at me. They're so judging, they don't even have a clue what the truth of our situation is…. I know it's odd to see a pregnant man… but really? How old are you women?
I am close to my due date… it gets harder to handle their eyes. Willow notices how uncomfortable I am and he turns to the women, scowling and shaking his fist.
"STOP BEIN SNOOTY TO MY MOMMY! SO WHAT HE'S HAVING A BABY?! HE A PERSON TOO!" he shouts in his little squeaky voice.
I bend down and look at him feeling both embarrassed and proud of my son, "Willow, it's okay. They stare because they don't understand… they don't mean it… they just don't understand.."
"No it's not! They're being mean and stupid!" he shouts loud enough for them to hear him.
"Willow, really… it's okay." I whisper and kiss his head. He smiles at me and turns to walk into the daycare. "Okay mommy."
I smile rubbing my belly, feeling some discomfort. I really need to go home and relax… but there's so much to do…
I go home and try to relax, but my mind will not be at ease until all of this mess is cleaned up. I go to the kitchen and begin to clean. Ignoring the pressure in my back as I work.
As I finish up the dishes, a small contraction hits me. I put the dish down in the sink and grip the counter, breathing through it. It's okay Jeffrey, it's just a small one.. Don't worry… you're fine…
As the pain subsides, I go back to my cleaning. I start putting groceries away when another contraction hits me. This one feeling stronger than the last. It sends pain shooting up my back and down my legs, taking my breath away. I grip the counter and try to catch my breath. The pain starts growing stronger and brings tears to my eyes. Something's wrong…
I reach into my pocket and feel something run down my legs. Damn it, I think I just peed myself again…. I look down at the floor and realize that I hadn't wet myself. Oh god… my water just broke…. And I'm home alone…. Please god, let Shannon answer his phone….
"Hey, you've reached Shannon; I'm not here right now, I've gone to look for myself. If you should see me before I come back. Please tell me to wait." Shannon's voicemail plays.
"SHANNON! PICK UP! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" I blurt out between contractions. A strong one hits, causing me to sink to the ground.
"SHANNON…..HELP…" I shout trying to keep myself calm. Our call is disconnected and I'm left to fend for myself. I look down between my legs and see blood. OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD… WHAT DO I DO?
I start panicking as I see more blood between my legs, my eyes getting heavier…
"Help…" I whisper before slipping into unconsciousness.
I come to and see Jessica standing over me. "Jeff? Can you hear me?" She asks alarmed. I try to talk but mumble. "Help…" I blurt out.
Jessica kneels down beside me. "Calm down Jeff… I've called 911 already. You're gonna be okay. I promise… you're just in labor." She says.
I nod and start to slip into unconsciousness.
