A?N: Hey guys! I know some of you are confused by the timeline, but it works I promise. To those of you saying you're uninterested, just stop now. If you don't like the story, just don't read it. It's that simple. I am so grateful for constructive criticism and praise, but telling me you don't like my story doesn't do anything. To those enjoying it, I've put more Charah in here! Some of these ideas change and just start to come out onto the page, so don't be afraid to voice your opinions. Also, if you have any suggestions or questions, don't hesitate to DM me. Enjoy!

-Charahfan44


2005

After the incident with Ellie's patient, Sarah mostly kept to herself. News certainly traveled fast in the hospital, and before long, her mistake was the only thing people talked about.

"I heard she was drunk out of her mind."

"I heard she turned off her pager to sleep."

"I heard she was doing another intern in the on-call room." The rumors became more and more ridiculous, and spread faster than a wildfire on it's best day. Sitting on the roof was her favorite thing to do after a shift, especially because it was almost always empty.

"Ellie is looking for you." Chuck's voice cut through her thoughts.

"Thanks." She stood up and dusted off her scrubs.

"Hey, what happened wasn't your fault." He said.

"How would you know?"

"I just do. We've been working together for five months now, that's almost half a year that I've known you. You don't screw up."

"Obviously I do. I did."

"Well, maybe you did, but that was one time. I haven't seen you make a single mistake since."

"Good for you."

"Sarah." He stared into her ice blue eyes. "You're a great doctor. Don't lose that."

"We aren't becoming friends are we?" She asked.

"Hell no. But I thought we decided to stop fighting."

"We did, but this is borderline friendly. I don't know if I can handle friendship with you." Sarah smiled.

"Probably not, I'm too nice of a person for your rough attitude."

"Attitude?"

"Total attitude." The two laughed.

"I should go find Ellie."

"Yeah..."

"Thanks for this."

"Of course. I know talent when I see it, I am a Bartowski you know."

"I do." She began to walk away, but turned back around before fully leaving the roof. "You wanna grab a beer after the shift?"

"Uh, sure."

"Cool."

"Yeah, cool."

"I'll find you." She walked back into the hospital, feeling something other than frustration with Chuck for once. Maybe being friends with him wouldn't be so bad after all.


Five hours into surgery was Sarah's highlight. Usually after five hours, she hit her second wind, seeing everything clearer and working faster. With any normal surgeon, their hands and feet would start to tire, no matter how many years they had been performing countless numbers of surgeries.

"Uh oh, Walker has officially hit her mark." Bryce joked.

"Shut up and just work on that ankle." Sarah playfully sassed. Her pager started to buzz, but she ignored it as usual. After the third time, she asked an intern to check it. "Roberts, can you get that?"

"It's a 911 from a Sydney." The intern responded, unaware that Sydney was Sarah's daughter.

"I need to step out for a moment, someone call Johnson just in case." She left the OR, grabbing the phone perched on the wall of the scrub-in room.

"Sarah?" Sydney's voice was distraught on the other end.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

"What's going on?"

"My friend is here."

"At SoCal Gen?"

"Yes, and she's six and she's in really bad shape and Chuck won't take her-"

"Syd, slow down. What do you mean Chuck won't take her? He won't do surgery?"

"He already did surgery. I mean he won't adopt her. Someone has to adopt her."

"Oh...a kid is a lot of work." Sarah couldn't think of anything better to say.

"So you won't take her either?"

"I'm barely able to take care of you." She was genuinely sympathetic.

"I hate you." The words rang in Sarah's ear for a moment, before the sound of the other line clicking snapped her back into focus.

"Sydney?" No answer. Sarah took a deep breath, going back into the OR.

"Everything okay?" Bryce asked.

"Fine." She dug her hands back into the patient, getting back to work. After two more hours in surgery, she finished up.

"Yeah, uh you," She pointed to a resident, "You close." She took her gloves off, cleaning her hands in the sink.

"You sure you're okay?" It was just her and Bryce at this point.

"I have to go over to SoCal. Will you make sure Johnson covers anything that happens while I'm gone? I don't have anymore surgeries today but I'm nervous about Mrs. Carlton's heart. He has her charts."

"I'll let him know."

"Thank you."

"Sarah." Bryce grabbed her arm as she turned to leave. "Don't shut me out."

"I'm not shutting you out. I really have no clue what's going on right now, but I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"I'll be here all night."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow." Bryce watched as his girlfriend left the room, feeling somewhat left out for the first time since they had gotten together.


2005

Chuck had no other feeling than nervousness while sitting at the bar stool at the counter of Clark's. It was the bar closest to the hospital, only being a block away. Drunken interns were seen dancing and trying to play darts, while Chuck sat calmly with a beer in his hand.

"Hey, sorry I'm late." Sarah sat down next to the curly-haired nerd, smiling at him. "Just a beer please." She said to the bartender.

"I thought you were going to stand me up." Chuck forced a laugh.

"Ellie had me do a lot today. She's definitely punishing me."

"She'll get over it."

"You think so?"

"I think everyone will get over it. So you messed up, what's the big deal? You're an intern. Intern's mess up."

"I guess so. It's just really new for me." She looked at Chuck. "So is this actually."

"What? Going out for drinks with a coworker?"

"Becoming friends with a guy. I'm not saying I get around, but I don't have any guy friends."

"Just guy booty calls."

"That sounds so trashy."

"Call them what you want, they're still the same thing." Chuck didn't have to force his laugh this time as Sarah playfully punched him in the arm.

"What about you? Do you have a bunch of girls lined up?"

"Me?"

"You're the only one sitting here."

"I'm not much of a ladies man."

"Why not?"

"My family had me focus on my career."

"Makes sense."

"I had a serious girlfriend once. Jill."

"Jill? That's an old school name."

"She was perfect." Chuck took a swig of his drink.

"What happened?"

"I went to Stanford, she went to Yale."

"You're talking high school?"

"So?"

"Have you dated anyone since then?"

"Not really. I've had outings."

"You've had outings?"

"You know."

"No, I don't. What's an outing?" Sarah knew perfectly well what he meant, but she liked seeing him squirm.

"You're really going to make me say it?"

"I sure am."

"One night stands. I've had plenty of one night stands. Happy?"

"Happy." Sarah smiled and took a giant gulp from the glass in her right hand. "I want to get drunk, but you can't hold it against me."

"I wouldn't dare."

"I think I deserve it. With all of the shit I'm getting at the hospital? I should be able to get drunk."

"If you're not on-call, I say go for it."

"You in?"

"I usually cap myself at two." He raised his glass slightly.

"Oh come on, you're a Bartowski. Live a little." She gave him a determined look.

"Fine, but if I drink myself to death, I'm suing you."

"You can't sue me if you're dead."

"True, but I can haunt you."

"Just drink." The two spent the rest of the night drinking and sharing med school stories, especially ones filled with parties and not taking school seriously.

"I was the guy who took school too seriously." Chuck slurred. "I had to make my dad happy."

"I studied, but I partied too." Sarah hiccupped.

"You probably had tons of boyfriends."

"Not a one."

"Not even one?"

"Why is that so hard to believe? I'm an independent woman."

"But you're also the most beautiful woman in the world."

"What?" Sarah snapped back into reality for a moment, while Chuck stayed in his blurred mind.

"You're so pretty." He smiled, playing with Sarah's hair.

"Maybe we should call it a night."

"What? We just got started."

"We work tomorrow, this wasn't such a great idea." She placed a $20 on the bar, and helped Chuck up.

"I'm not very good with drinking." He laughed.

"I should've listened to you." She laughed back. Luckily enough, there were taxi's waiting outside the bar for any bar patron unable to drive home. "You gonna be okay?"

"I'll be fine." He looked into her eyes, leaning up against the back door of the vibrant yellow car.

"Thank you for letting me vent. I could've gone to Zondra, but you're just as good I guess."

"You aren't so bad yourself, Sarah."

"Here," Sarah took Chuck's phone and put her number in it. "Text me when you get home."

"Wow, Sarah Walker gave me her phone number. I'm honored."

"Just get home safe." As soon as the words left her mouth, Chuck's lips collided with hers. She was extremely tense at first, not wanting to let herself feel vulnerable with him. But after a few seconds, it turned into a full blown make-out.

"Night." He released her, falling into his taxi, leaving a stunned Sarah Walker standing outside the bar.


Sarah burst into SoCal General Hospital in a frenzy. What the hell had happened in a few short hours to make her daughter hate her? She took the elevator to the fourth floor, knowing that Chuck's specialty was located there. Thankfully Chuck was only standing a few feet away when the doors opened.

"Chuck." She looked to her ex.

"We need to talk." He said, not wasting a second.

"I was going to say the exact same thing." She laughed, quickly recovering once she noticed his shady demeanor. "What?"

"Follow me." He led her into a vacant on-call room, locking the door behind them.

"This is too familiar."

"I'm not playing around here, Sarah."

"What's wrong with you?" He had never been so direct with her.

"What's wrong with me is that my daughter grew up in a hell hole, and you put her there." Chuck was already at one-hundred.

"What are you talking about?"

"There's a six-year-old here from Cloudyvale."

"Yeah, Syd called me."

"What did she say?"

"She said that you wouldn't adopt a kid, and that I should, but I told her I couldn't."

"Her name is Gracie."

"Sorry."

"This isn't about Gracie." Chuck placed a hand on his forehead. "This is about Sydney."

"Okay, then calm down and talk to me. We've always been good at that."

"Apparently not." He snapped. "Look, you should've told me you were pregnant."

"I thought we were passed this." Sarah groaned.

"Well, we aren't. Sydney grew up without any love or care and it's your fault!"

"Sorry that I didn't want to raise a child on my own."

"You didn't have to!"

"Yes I did!"

"Why couldn't I have helped you?" The surgeons were now screaming at each other.

"Because you left!" Sarah blurted. Silence washed over them both, neither of them making eye contact.

"I thought I was doing the right thing." Chuck whispered.

"You weren't." Sarah looked up. "We can't change it. We can't go back in time. We've got to focus on the present, because our daughter needs us."

"That's why I wanted to talk."

"Great, so let's actually talk." Sarah put her hands on her hips.

"I want full custody."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"What makes you think I'm going to agree to that?"

"I'm not asking you to agree. I'm fully prepared to fight you."

"Chuck, use your brain. She's with me ninety percent of the time, and I'm her mother."

"I'm her father, and you took that right."

"You're upset. Take a few days and you'll settle down."

"You know, for the first time in my life I'm actually thinking clearly. I want to spend the rest of her life making everything up to her. Everything you ruined."

"That's funny. From what I remember, you walked out on me. You ruined me, Chuck."

"Funny how you remember things, isn't it? You'll be hearing from me soon." He unlocked the door and left. Sarah didn't give herself time to dwell on what Chuck had just told her, but instead searched the hospital for her daughter. She found Sydney on the roof of the building, sitting far enough a way from the helipad.

"I thought I'd find you up here." Sarah sat next to Sydney.

"Not a very good hiding spot I guess."

"I used to hide up on the roof."

"You did?"

"Oh yeah. My internship was mostly spent on the roof of a hospital. We're a lot alike, you and I."

"Like everyone keeps saying." Sydney grumbled.

"I stole your friends chart." Sarah held up a clipboard full of medical jargon.

"What does it say?"

"Cliff notes version; she's going to be just fine. I had my appendix taken out when I was ten."

"Were you alone?"

"No, my mom was with me."

"She doesn't have a mom. She has Agnes."

"Agnes?"

"Our head mistress."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry won't help her."

"I'm sorry for putting you there."

"It is what it is."

"No, it's not. I was young and scared, and I know it isn't an excuse, but I didn't think I could do it alone."

"I get it."

"Do you though?"

"I'm not interested in your excuses."

"I know."

"If you know, then why won't you stop trying to make them? You didn't want me, you gave me up, you got the career you wanted."

"That's not fair."

"Don't even get me started on fair."

"Be mad at me all you want, but we're going home."

"I'm going to stay with Gracie."

"Says who?"

"Says me. I don't really want to see you or Chuck right now."

"That's not a choice you get to make. I'm your mother, and you get to listen to me."

"Please, Sarah, just leave me alone. I've never asked you for anything, just let me have this." Sydney looked at her with more desperation than Sarah had ever seen in her life.

"Fine. You can stay here tonight, but tomorrow I'm coming back."

"Fine."

"I did want you, by the way. The moment I held you, I never wanted to let you go."

"Then why did you?"

"Because Chuck broke my heart, and I couldn't live with a constant reminder. As terrible as that sounds, it's the truth. One day I'll really explain it to you, and I hope you never truly feel your heart break. It sucks." Sarah left her daughter alone, thinking of possible lawyers to call in the morning. Chuck had started something he wasn't going to be able to finish.