Speed sat in front of his locker holding his cell phone. His stomach was in knots, and he felt like he was going to vomit. This case was starting to get to him. Speed navigated to his favorites list in his phone contacts, and tapped on the first person in his list, Lauren.
"Did you miss me that much?" came Lauren's voice through his phone.
Speed smile to himself, and breathed a sigh of relief. "I guess you could say that."
Lauren could sense uneasiness in her husband's voice. "You okay?
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanted to tell you I love you, and that I can't wait for tonight."
"Awe, love you too, babe! I know! I'm so excited I can't even contain excitement. I think I've got my outfit picked out for tonight, and I've had the original soundtrack play since you left," Lauren said with a little squeal.
Speed chuckled. "What are you doing now?"
"I just got done planning our dinner for tonight, and now I'm planning out the first week of school in my brand new Erin Condren lesson planner thanks to the best husband in the entire world!"
Speed was about to answer her, but she stopped him. "Hold on babe, there's someone at the door. You want me to call you back?"
The uneasiness he had felt previously came back. "No. I'll stay on the phone," Speed said answering quickly. "Who is it?
"I have no idea, Tim. I haven't answered the door yet. Are you sure you're okay?" Lauren asked concerned.
"I'm fine, honey. I promise."
Speed waited impatiently while Lauren answered the door. All he could see in his mind was this phantom killer standing behind the door waiting for Lauren to open it. He could hear her screaming in pain as the killer sliced her throat open then it all went silent. Speed told himself to stop thinking that way, but it wasn't working.
He was pulled back into reality when he heard Lauren calling his name. "Tim! Babe, you there?"
"Yeah, sorry. Horatio was showing me something," he lied. "Who was at the door?"
"It was just my mom. She wanted to come by, and drop off an anniversary present for us since she didn't get to take us out for lunch or dinner."
Speed chuckled. "She called here and left two messages. What'd she get us?" He was intrigued.
"Your guess is as good as mine. She told me I wasn't allowed to open it until you came home."
The two carried on with their conversation until Horatio made an appearance. Speed once again told Lauren he loved her then hung up.
Horatio took a seat next to Speed and asked, "You okay, Speed?"
Without even realizing it, Speed began to twirl with his wedding band around his ring finger. "Yeah, H. I'm fine. I just needed a minute." Speed lied.
"Everything okay at home? Is Lauren all right?"
Feeling like he shouldn't tell a complete lie, Speed said, "Yeah, everything's fine. We haven't said anything to family and friends, but Lauren and I have been trying to start a family. It's been nothing but disappointing." Speed stood up and leaned against the lockers.
Horatio smiled at the thought of Speed being a father. He looked up at Speed and said, "You'll get there, Speed. Sometimes it can take a little while."
Speed laughed sarcastically. "Yeah… we've been trying for four years, H. Nothing we've tried has worked. Maybe we're not meant to be parents or at least that's what Lauren and I feel like. There's just so much pressure as soon as you get married. Everyone is all 'when are you going to have kids?' and we're like, 'when we're ready. Stop bugging us.'" Speed paused a moment and sat back down next to Horatio. "The first couple years it wasn't such a big deal, but after three it starts to get tough. It breaks my heart to see Lauren cry every time a test comes back negative," Speed explained.
Horatio turned to Speed and said, "Family can be difficult sometimes, but Speed, things have a funny way of working themselves out in the end. I have no doubt you and Lauren will one day have a family."
Speed turned and looked at his boss, and said, "People are conditioned to say, 'it'll happen for you,' or 'you just have to keep trying.' Well, you know what? It doesn't make us feel better. We're tired. We've exhausted all our options. IVF is way too expensive. People who haven't gone through it don't know what it's like."
Horatio's heart sank. He had never before seen such pain in Speed's eyes. "You're right. We don't know what it's like. Speed, I think it's time you and Lauren start opening up about your struggle with your family. Let them know what's going on. Let them know why you and Lauren haven't had any kids yet, and I think most of the stress you two have had the past four years will go away. Stress can cause your body to act in ways you never thought it could."
Speed sighed. Horatio always knew what to say no matter what. "Thanks, H. I think you're right. I think we need to see a second doctor too. Get a second opinion."
The two stood up. Speed embraced his boss in a hug, and thanked him for the talk that came from a little white lie. It was just in time too. Calleigh had walked in.
"You guys aren't going to believe it, but there was just another murder. This murder has the same characteristics as our previous murders. Let's going. Alexx is already at the scene," she said with urgency.
