"Good morning," I said after washing my face, "Lord Carver."
"Nice to see you're not in the Gallows," Carver said rolling his eyes, "we're still a long way from cowing templars with our titles, Sister, and you know it."
"You could slap on a smile for a few days," I frowned, "for Mother's sake."
"She's not interested in what I think," Carver said turning away from me, "she wants to provide for us, and you're making sure it happens, and when we're done, I don't know, I guess we'll sit around thinking about how great we used to be?"
"You don't have to be such an ass all the time you know." I frowned.
"Mother didn't even want that life back until we got dumped here," Carver continued, "and you only care because we're under templar scrutiny."
"I don't only care because we're under templar scrutiny," I replied, "you hating everything I do is really losing its charm you know."
"Sure, make light," Carver turned back towards me, "why take anything seriously? You're the eldest, you lead by default."
"I don't see you taking the reins," I countered, "you think I like being the one everyone turns to when shit goes down the drain?"
"And when should I take the lead?" Carver shot back bitterly, "when I'm following you around or when I'm stuck caring for Mother while you tame mighty Kirkwall?"
I was about to say something back when his next words hit me with the weight of a hundred bricks.
"Besides, we both know what happens when someone leaves dear sister's protection," Carver said, "I'm sure Bethany would appreciate that you're keeping good humor."
His words rang through me like a hollow bell. I clenched and unclenched my right hand furiously, glaring at the damn thing. I bit my lip, hard, grounding myself.
"Fun's fun, but you're taking this too far." I warned.
"What?" Carver asked, "You don't like someone making a joke out of everything you are?"
"I don't see the humor in digging up Bethany so you can hide behind her, too," I hissed, "you always complain about being stuck behind my shadow but what efforts have you ever made to leave it besides whining, bitching, and moaning?"
Carver looked down, refusing to meet my eye. I clenched my hand into a fist so hard my nails bit into my palms painfully, grounding me even further.
"Well," I said turning to walk away, "good talk."
"Sister," Carver called out to me, I feel…I don't know… like Mother is taking everything out on us. She was just scared. I don't have a place in the life she's trying to bring back. I'm here if you need me, but I must find my own way."
"I honestly wouldn't have it any other way, Carver." I replied.
I knew better than anyone how much Carver longed for his own place in the world, and I, despite how it looked; was trying my damnedest to help him find it. I sighed, and glanced down at my right hand again.
He was right though, it was my fault Bethany died.
Carver and I walked to the Hanged Man together; we didn't say a single word. Our earlier conversation still weighing on us even as we pushed open the tavern doors.
"Well, Lucky, I'll tell you what," a dark skinned woman told a group of men as she drank at the bar, "since the information you gave me was worth nothing, that's what I'll pay you."
"Me and my boys will get our money's worth, bitch." The man said slamming her cup back down as she raised it for a drink.
"Oh, you poor, sweet, thing." She cooed moving her other hand to his before jerking it away and slamming his face into the bar a few times.
We just walked into a small bar fight. Great, I couldn't deny that the woman could move though. I mean she just beat three of them on her own. Damn.
But I had to go talk to Varric, I left Carver in the lower part of the tavern and went to Varrics suite.
"So, I've been dying to know: what was going through your head when you fought that ogre?" Varric said turning to me as I entered.
I inwardly flinched, "For the first few seconds, 'What do they feed those things?'"
That was a lie. A really, really, really big lie. I was actually thinking: Well, I guess this is it, I hope I'll be able to buy everyone enough time to get to safety, and I hope they'll be able to make it without me.
But, of course, fate had had other plans for me.
Varric laughed though, "I don't know anyone else that's even seen one. You're lucky just to be standing here. Somehow, Hawke, I imagine things won't be dull with you around."
"That can be both good and bad," I replied, "I mean sure that means we'll never get bored, but sometimes…sometimes you just want some peace and quiet, you know?"
Varric laughed again, "sure, when you're old and yelling at kids to get off your lawn."
"I suppose that's true." I laughed.
"Anyway, I don't expect the Deep Roads to be boring, since the constant threat of doom does tend to keep you awake." Varric said.
"A lot of things can keep you awake, you know," I said raising a brow, "I wouldn't reach for the doom first."
"Sure, I could have a cup of tea in the morning," Varric replied, "but I hear it's bad for you. I've spent my whole life in Kirkwall. Dangerous enough most days, but it doesn't compare to the Deep Roads. So, this'll be…let's call it an adventure. I guess."
"So, now we're adventurers?" I grinned.
"Whatever brings the sovereigns in," Varric replied, "have any work in mind for the day?"
"Meeran sent me a few letters about work," I replied thinking about the mail I'd gotten, "There was also this one from a prince of Starkhaven asking to kill a bunch of people from some assassins' guild or something."
"A prince of Starkhaven?!" Varric asked laughing, "that'll probably be a powerful ally."
"I know right?" I replied as I walked down to the lower part of the tavern with Varric to collect my brother, who was standing beside that dark skinned woman at the bar.
"You're new around here, aren't you?" she asked turning to me after ignoring my brother, "Welcome, and keep your wits about you."
I was so going to hear about this later, I could tell from the look on my dear brother's face.
"You're nothing but tits and ass to the men in this place," she grinned at me, "and they won't hesitate to grab at both."
"Sounds like you speak from experience." I said returning her grin.
"After a few broken fingers here and there, they got the idea," she laughed, "I'm Isabela. Previously 'Captain' Isabela. Sadly, without my ship, the title rings a bit hollow."
"I'm Hawke, Marian Hawke." I replied.
For some reason, my first name suddenly sounded so strange and alien, even to me.
"You're Ferelden, aren't you? You have that look about you," she said, "I was in Denerim not too long ago."
She stopped and studied me for a bit, eyeing me up and down.
"See anything you like?" I asked raising a brow.
"You know, you might be just what I'm looking for to solve a little problem I have." She winked.
"Oh? You too?" I laughed.
"Must be something in the water," she chuckled, "someone from my past has been pestering me. I've arranged for a duel— if I win, he leaves me alone. But I don't trust him to play fair; I need someone to watch my back."
"Just watch your back?" I asked, "I can do that."
"Oh, I'll bet," She chuckled, "I've arranged to meet Hayder in Hightown after dark, I'll meet you there."
Right, time to think of what I currently needed to do:
1. Talk to Hubert in the Hightown Market sometime during the day, probably any day.
2. Help Isabela at night in Hightown, today.
3. At some point locate a dwarf named Anso in the Lowtown market at night.
4. Hike up Sundermount and talk to the Dalish.
5. Kill Flint Company Assassins
6. Locate a mage in the Gallows named Tobrius about the letters I dug out of the estate.
7. Maybe check the chanter's board?
8. Check up on Anders? Maybe?
I think that's everything I currently need to do…
I guess, since it's still around noon, I can go talk to Hubert in Hightown, and then check the chanter's board, maybe do some light shopping until nightfall, and then help out Isabela.
