Ch.7

I have finally chosen Arya. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: eu não próprio Eragon. There, I said it in Portuguese. I don't actually speak Portuguese, but translators on Google help.

1. She can't get over her long dead guard Faolin.

2. She fought with her mother for eighty years.

3. This is because she got a tattoo.

4. She's the world's biggest Sue.

5. She had to pick on human with little magic by beating him in a duel. Thanks Sedora.

6. It is my personal belief that she is an elf-cyborg programmed to make Eragon's life miserable and all die-hard Eragon fan-girls jealous. (Personally I'm a Murtagh fan-girl, but I'm sure she makes Eragon fan-girls jealous.)

7. Someone is missing sympathy glands. Guess who.

8. I have never seen someone who needs Dr. Phil more. (Except perhaps Murtagh, who is very hot but admittedly crazy.)

9. She has no feelings.

10. She has anger issues. What girl breaks a tablet because some guy saw them as beautiful?

11. She's a stupid heart-breaker.

12. She makes fun of other people's religion in their temples no less.

13. The human mentioned in number 4 (tired and with a back injury this time) beat a shade who kicked her butt in the beginning of the book. (Woot! Woot! Point for Eragon!) Thanks again Sedora.

14. Lyokolady thinks she's a rip off of every elf in history especially Arwen and I agree.

15. Mary-Sue's are said to be made to satisfy the author's ego or be the author's perfect lover. Arya's a Sue. Poor Paolini. He's either gay or in want of a girl he just can't have. I think it's the latter, personally.

16. She's so perfect she could make a multi-gendered crowd multi-task through the seven deadly sins. (I got the multi-tasking thing out of a Sports Illustrated article my brother made me listen to.) The guys would lust and be gluttonous. The girls would envy, get angry, and be gluttonous.

17. In her defense against fifteen, she would stomp out pride. stops and reads line Wait, that's not a defense.

18. She couldn't forgive a guy who swore his undying love for her while he was as good as drunk. More anger issues.

19. She jumps to conclusions. Thanks, Lyokolady.

20. She laughed when Eragon told her she was beautiful. How about a thank you? Geesh. What a filthy ingrate!

21. She was afraid when she realized some guy was in love with her.

22. She should be destined to die an old spinster with a house full of cats. (I actually like cats.)

23. She's immortal so number twenty-one won't work. It just makes her more of a Sue cause it's not gonna happen.

24. She's going to fall in love with the hormonal dragon rider she has constantly rejected in the next book.

25. Said rider is less than one fifth of her age. And people made fun of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Seriously.

26. She was rescued by the aforementioned hormonal teenage dragon-rider, his hormonal dragon, and his hot, but slightly messed up, older brother.

27. She fits in with nobody. She's too serious to fit in with most humans, she's too frivolous to fit in with the elves, and the dwarves all hate her because she bashed their religion.

28. She's still too serious.

29. She made Eragon tell her about Elva, which caused him great pain.

30. She cussed him out after this.

31. She then had the nerve to say that she was responsible for his actions, and the whole Elva thing was her fault because she should have known that Eragon was too dumb too know better.

32. She therefore called the guy who loved her stupid and irresponsible.

33. She's a princess, and she couldn't get the crotchety old sword-maker to respect her.

34. I've had people begging me to mock her for chapters.

I hope you liked it. Here's the ballot for next chapter.

A.Sloan

B. Eragon