Jason is 26 and in Cambodia, in some ramshackle motel by the beach. He'd just gotten done taking down a drug ring, managed to get enough water pressure to scrub the coke out of his hair and was content to just pass the fuck out when his phone vibrates with a text. It's an unknown number, but he knows who it is, all the same.

"Come home."

X

Jason is 26 and it's summer in Gotham and he is kissing Dick Grayson on a rooftop. There's that voice in the back of his head that's telling him to stop. Telling him that they shouldn't be doing this, that Dick left him. Willingly walked out on him and he didn't see him for two years. Screams that they aren't even together.

But it's a slow night in Gotham, sticky summer air with a cool breeze and Dick tastes sweet, like that fucking sugary cereal he probably still eats for every meal and when Jason grabs his ass he swears he just found the fuck fucking Holy Grail.

Dick's legs are around his waist and his fingers thread hard through his hair, pulling and Jason says 'fuck it', slams Dick into the wall and goes to town.

But it's when Dick mewls against him, hips rolling something goddamn obscene and Jason's working Dick's zipper, so close to finally touching Dick's skin that he stops.

'Fuck. Fuck. Fucking fuck.'

"Jay?" Dick asks "What is it?"

"Nothing. Well, not nothing it's…" He gently guides Dick's legs away from his hips.

"Is it—Do you not want this?" Dick asks, then softer "Not want me?"

"No no no!" Jason says hastily, wanting to lean back in and kiss the doubt off his face "That's not it."

"But-."

"I think it's pretty obvious how much I want you, Dick." Jason says, gesturing towards the bulge in his pants

"Then what's the problem?" Dick asks, leaning forward, capturing Jason's lip between his teeth, fingers sliding just beneath the waistband of his pants

Jason groaned and almost caved, but forced himself away.

"The problem is, Dick, you left me."

Dick pauses.

"I killed people… kill people and you left me."

Dick sighs, running his hands through his hair.

"That… that hasn't changed." He continues

Yes it has. Jason can't deny he's been less lethal since.

"And I can't… I can't do that again."

Can't have you walk away.

Dick paced a few times, teeth worrying at his bottom lip.

"Look, have you killed anybody lately?"

"What, like today?"

"Yea."

"…No?"

"This week?"

"No?"

"This month?"

Jason pauses to think.

"No…" He says at length

"Great, that's a start." Dick says "As for the future… we'll cross that bridge when we get there."

"When I set another rapist on fire?"

"Okay, maybe… don't do that?"

"I won't prom-."

"Yeah, I get it. Can we just… work on it?"

There was that eager pleading in Dick's eye that Jason could never resist. The same pleading he'd gotten in his eyes when they went to the carnival and he begged Jason to play all of the shooting games so he could win the huge prizes. He did, until Dick had more giant toys than could fit in the car, and Jason was pretty sure a carny was going to fight him.

"…Yeah." Jason sighs "Yeah, we can work on it."

Dick sighs with relief, leaning in to kiss Jay again. To his cock's protesting, Jason stopped him.

"Okay but…" Jay interrupted.

Dick pouted.

Literally pouted.

"Do you think we should just… jump right back in?"
"Yes." Dick says, reaching for him again

Jason rolls his eyes.

"I'm serious," He insists "Maybe we should take it slow. Some dates and-."

"Jay," Dick blinks, obviously trying to suppress a grin "Are you saying you want to 'court' me?"

Jason rolls his eyes, anxiousness clawing at his stomach.

'Of course you wouldn't want to. Why would I even think you'd want that? That you'd feel the same way.'

"You can just say you think it's stupid, Dick."

"I don't." Dick laughs, stepping forward again, taking Jason's face in his hands, sky blue eyes staring into his, bumping his nose against his gently. Jason can feel how warm Dick is, the anxiousness leaving his body "I think, I think maybe you're right."

X

Jason is 26 and he's on a date with Dick Grayson.

An honest to God date. Not a 'hand job in the theater' date. But a 'little hidden away Chinese place where they make their own dumplings' date. They're hidden away in a back booth, knees brushing under the table, trading quips and stories.

Dick tells Jason about his parents, about his time in the circus, about the time his pants fell down and he nearly flashed an entire crowd.

Jason tells Dick about growing up in Gotham. About being a street rat. When he begins to stumble upon exactly how he'd know a child rapist, Dick smoothly changes the subject.

They eat what Jason thinks is an obscene amount of food (though Dick, by some freak of nature, claims to still be hungry) and walk side by side on the street. Dick tries to thread their fingers together, but Jason tucks his hands in his jacket pockets, still uneasy with public affection.

Dick gets it though, and just bumps their shoulders together from time to time.

It's nice.

X

Three weeks into dating, Dick finally thinks it's time to invite Jason in 'for a cup of coffee'. Even Jason can't deny how ridiculous it is, Dick inviting Jay up like he's some girl he picked up at the book store, when the last time he was in Dick's apartment he had Dick bent over the countertop with his tongue up his ass.

Still, he plays the part. Let's Dick lead the way, toes his shoes off, sits awkwardly on the couch (where he once spent 45 minutes worshiping Dick's balls) picking at the tear in the upholstery that was still there from when Dick gripped too tight while riding him, and pretends to not have an opinion when Dick offers to 'put something on to watch' while the coffee brews.

In the end, Dick plays a random space episode of Nova and busies himself in the kitchen, talking to Jay over the sound of the pot brewing.

"You want something to snack on?" Dick asks. Jay knows he's just offering to be polite, and that Jay can't eat another bite, but shrugs.

"Sure."

He tilts his head back to stare that the ceiling, listening to the narrator talk about black holes.

"-Inescapable gravity-"

Dick appeared above him, holding two mugs.

"-Pulling in everything around them, even light."

Jay looks up into blue blue eyes and can't form words.

"—Consumes everything around them until there's nothing left-."

"Not falling asleep on me, are you?"

"Never" Jason winks, taking his mug

The evening goes down from there. What they both had meant to be simply a (legitimate) night cap turned into Dick on his back on the floor, soft black shirt pushed up above his nipples, Jason feeding him strawberries and mapping the universe out on his stomach with his fingers.

"How'd you learn so much about the stars?" Dick yawns

"I was a boy scout." Jay replies, continuing to draw out a galaxy across Dick's abs "Khaki shorts and all."

Dick raises an eyebrow and Jason doesn't even have to look at him to know it.

" I spent a lot of time at the library," Jason answers, truthfully "Heat and AC, open late. No screaming parents." He shrugs

Jason knows Dick is looking at him with sad eyes, but he refuses to look up and acknowledge it.

"Jay…"

"Hush." Jason interrupts, placing what he meant to be a chaste kiss on Dick's chest, only to find himself tasting his salty skin and placing another, and another, before rolling on top of Dick and kissing his way down his body.

"Jay-." Dick pants out, and he's missed that. Missed Dick's fingers in his hair, tugging and pulling hard enough to let a few strands loosen. Jay works open Dick's fly with his teeth and Dick is panting pulling him up and Jason obliges, meeting Dick's lips.

"Are you sure we should…" Dick pants out, rolling his hips as Jason works a particularly sensitive part of Dick's neck, sucking up a bruise.

Jason groans, rolling his hips, jeans feeling tight, too tight, around his erection. No, he isn't sure. But if he stops now he's pretty sure he'll actually die.

Again.

"Like this, then" Dick says, gripping Jason's hips and spreading legs and grinding against him just right. So good they both choke on a moan.

They set a fast face, the floor creaking underneath them, words whispered in between moans and broken kisses. Jason wasn't even sure what he was saying, sentimental nonsense, but Dick was far too gone to care, tensing and shaking in a way that Jason knew meant he was coming soon.

"Jaybird. I'm—are you…"

"Yes." Jay hisses, biting down hard on Dick's collar bone. Dick gives a shout, then convulses, shooting in his pants, Jason's not far behind him.

Mindful of his weight, Jason rolls off of Dick, staring at the ceiling.

"—Only dying when there's no matter left-."

"Holy shit." He pants out

Dick merely grunts in agreement. Sounds like there may be something to this 'taking it slow' thing after all.

X

The next few dates go as routine as can be expected, until a nor'easter hits Gotham and the city shuts down due to the wind and water. The coms are even screwy.

By the time they find each other, they're soaked to the bone and hardly share any words as Jason lays him down on a rooftop, then in the loft of his safe house, and makes love to him until his legs give out.

X

They begin to notice something wrong around late Summer. Dick, while back in fighting form, is sometimes just… not Dick.

Oracle sends him reports, concerns. Gotham's underbelly trade stories, but Jason dismisses them. Dismisses them as Dick simply cracking down harder, or exaggeration.

But Jason begins to see it when they patrol together. The way he threatens frightened witnesses. The way he shows no mercy when he fights, breaking bones and burning buildings along the way. Sees it in the way he laughs while he chokes a perp, remarking that his face is beginning to turn blue like his costume. Tastes it when he licks the blood off his lips when Dick elbows him in the face for trying to pull him off. Finally has to acknowledge it as Dick laughs, gleefully, almost shrieking, as he slams a perp's head in a car door in front of children.

It's the Pit.

Bruce was right.

X