Sam seventeen

His father never looked at him in the same way. It was like he didn't deserve the title of being called his son. Since the big fight they never fight again, but that didn't mean anything, because they argued almost everyday, and Dean was always the one to calm things down.

Sam was a little sorry, because he knew how much respect Dean had for their father, how much of a hero he was. He just couldn't see the Same man Dean saw. But he was always there trying to make everything better again. Like his job was to make Sam and John to be best friends... That was just impossible.

His father just didn't love him anymore. Any one could see that. The only thing he saw in the old man's eyes was hate, disappointment and Disgust. Looks he already new to well and grow up to ignore. The only time he felt happy again was when he was alone with Dean, of course They didn't do anything, but the fact that his brother cared about him, even if it was just in a brotherly way, made him happy enough to Last at least another 17 years. The problem was their father had made sure that they weren't together has much has they were before.

Sam didn't care, because at least he could still be alone in the Impala with Dean when they were traveling, and they traveled a lot. It was Like he had finally understood why his brother love his car so much. He knew he would never love the car has much has Dean did. But he Love it, because it was now the home he never had, the home he could come back to, the place where he could see his brother.

And this was Everything for him. He just didn't dream of a better future, he didn't even regret the things he had done in the past anymore. He knew that This was it, it would always be like this, Demons, hunts, pain and hurt, and the only happiness... his brother. He was born to live like this And that wouldn't change. It couldn't get better, but it always could get worse. That was what he believed.

So, when he received a letter directed to him, he shouldn't have been that surprised. And yet, his all world was falling apart right in front of Him.

It was a day like all the other, they were staying in a house for almost three weeks now, they had been hunting a werewolf that was in the Area. He didn't understand why they were staying when they had already finished the job, but staying in the same place for a long time was a thing that Sam never complained about.

Dean was out, doing hell knows what, and his dad was doing some kind of research about the demon in his own room. Sam was in the kitchen Studying when he heard the doorbell. He didn't know who could be, but it sure wasn't good news. He left the kitchen to go to the front door. Dean had the keys, so it couldn't be him, because he never forgot about them. Maybe it was the neighbors to ask for something, or a demon to kill them all, or worse, it could be the cops. In any case, Sam was on alert.

When he finally opened the door, he saw the last think he expected, he saw the mailman. Well, that was unusual.

"Can I help you?" The man sure had come to the wrong address. They didn't get mail, who would even send them mail in the first place.

"I have a letter for Samuel Winchester" Said the man reading the name that was on the letter.

A letter for him? Now that was strange

"That would be me" He said.

The man looked at him

"So, you want it or not?"

The man said when he saw that Sam wasn't reaching for the letter that he was trying to deliver.

"Oh... Sorry, thanks" He said taking the letter from the man's hand. Then the mailman just left without saying one more word.

He closed the door, and went back to the kitchen. He looked at the envelope like he was trying to read it without even opening it.

There was a logo on the left of the envelope that said RCP in blue letters. That was it, it wasn't from a person, it was from some company Or something. Maybe it was from the bank, that made sense,but it didn't make him more relieved. He was sure he never had used his real Name in any circumstance, and besides he never had heard a bank called RCP. Well, He wouldn't find out if he just stood there, would he?

Making up his mind, he sited where he was minutes ago and opened the letter.

Taking out the paper that was inside, he noticed that there were two more sheets. He unfolds them, and started to read the first one.

His all body went numb and he could almost swear that his blood had stopped. He couldn't believe in what he was reading. So, he read it again.

Dear Samuel Winchester:

Congratulation! I'm pleased, on behalf of the Richered Center Facility, to announce the acceptance of your application.

This is to certify that our campus have accepted Samuel Campbell Winchester for Treatment at our Facility.

After careful review your full information, we assure you that you can be cured. By being admitted into the program, you agree to follow the The treatment that we will give you, that will be consisted of medication, rehabilitation, therapy and others.

We look forward to seeing you Samuel, and we hope for the best success with the treatment. If you have any further questions concerning the Facility, please feel free to come by the office with any problems you may have.

Sincerely,

Victor S. Davis

What the Hell...

Accept where? He could be cured? He wasn't sick. And he was damn sure he didn't had applied to any where. The letter just didn't make any Sense, so he read it again and again.

Realizing that the letter didn't make more sense just by reading it over and over again, he remembered that there was more two pieces of paper he had still to read. Cursing at his own stupidity he read the next ones.

Now he knew what it was all about, but that didn't make him happier, quite the contrary.

The papers told him how much it would cost to stay at the facility, how would they treat him. It explained what it was and how they worked.

So here he was in the kitchen, reading a letter that told him, that he had been accepted to a facility who could cure homosexual men, and For him not to worry, because it wasn't his fault for being sick, and they were here to save people like him... So basically he was going to Be interned on this camp for three all year... And that was if everything went well. Because he would only be able to leave if he was cured. But then again the piece of paper said, not to worry because each person had their form to deal with this and everyone took their time.

He wanted to throw up. He was feeling sick just be reading the fucking letter. He wasn't going, they were treating him like he had a mental Issues and this had been just the latter, he couldn't even imagine how would it be there. And he didn't want to find out.

Instead of yelling and punching he started to laugh. And his laughter was hysterical, he laughed and laughed until his lungs were hurting.

"What the hell Sam? I can't concentrate if you don't shut up. I can hear you from upstairs"

Sam saw John on the door of the kitchen looking at him angry. And he just laughed more. His father was the one who has put him on this. He Was sure of it. So his own dad thought he had a disease.

"What are you laughing about?"

John didn't lose his angry, but now he was just confused. Sam stoped laughing so quickly that it seemed he had never started. He stared at what he had used to call Dad and he said

"Richards Center Facility? This must be a fucking joke"

"Watch your language" He said ignoring what Sam had just said

Sam was starting to be furious. He jumped out of the chair letting it fall on the ground

"The least of my problems right now. So, Dad when were you going to tell me? Wouldn't it be easier just to tell me to leave?"

"Calm down Sam. This his for the best. You need this treatment"

"What the... Are you insane? I don't need any of this shit"

"I thought after you read about them that you would understand... You have a problem, you are not normal, but you can be cure son. This can Help you. Do this for me, for Dean"

He couldn't believe his own ears. Was he even hearing himself? Did he believe in what he was saying?

He took a few steps until he was face to face with his dad.

"I'm Leaving... I'm fucking leaving this kind of life... Hell this shouldn't even be called life. I HATE ALL OF THIS. I'm done trying to follow your orders, I'm done here... But I'm not doing what you want me to do. And I will take Dean with me... And you can just go to hell"

He was standing right in front of John's face and the man was so red that he looked like he was about to explode. When he was about to hear John yelling back at him he heard someone else instead

"I'm not going with you anywhere Sam"

They were so got up on the moment that they didn't hear Dean entering the house. He entered the kitchen trying not to look lost and Sad, but Sam could see it all too well.

He had already taken two steps away from his Dad to be able to see Dean clearly.

"Dean I..." He started, but he was interrupted by his brother.

"Just... This just comes from nowhere... Why didn't you tell me? Hell, We could have talked about it. Why haven't you told me?"

He could see the betrayed on his brother's face. And that hurt more than anything.

"You are not leaving. You're not going anywhere that I don't want you to. And you are going to do exactly what I say"

He heard John voice full of anger, but he didn't look at him, he was just staring at Dean. Dean was staring right back at him, Stanting There like he was the one Sam was leaving behind.

"Come with me" Sam asked has if he just wanted Dean to hear it. And he knew he sounded desperate and hopeful, but he didn't seem to care When it came down to Dean.

Dean seemed a bit surprised, but then he asked

"This is my life Sammy, This is me... Why can't you stay instead?" Neither one of them dare to move. It was like they couldn't.

If he stayed he had to go to the Facility. In the end he wouldn't be here with Dean. If he left he had more chances to see him than if he stayed. And if Dean went with him, that would be everything that Sam never dared to wish for.

"It doesn't matter Dean. It doesn't matter what I choose. In the end I'm leaving thru that Door"

"It seems you have already made your mind" Dean tone was hard and bitter

"Damn it Dean you don't understand it's not..." He was trying to explain himself when his dad spoke

"Enough of this. You are not going to abandoned your family" And any one could see that this was an order

Sam stared at his father and then back at Dean. He was begging, he knew it. He wasn't saying anything, but he knew that his own face was Begging for Dean to come with him, to stop his father from sending him away, for Dean to save him from everything.

"Don't you even dare" And that was the hard replay he got from Dean.

For a second he was surprised, but how could he even had asked that of Dean? Well, he was ready, it was now or never. He walked to the door of the kitchen, walking by Dean and his Dad, and without looking back he said.

"Watch me"

And he went upstairs to pack up his things, leaving Dean and John alone. He knew that at any other time John would have come after him Arguing, but John also wanted him to pack, and Sam was sure that that was the reason that John wasn't already in his bedroom making a fuss. The difference was he wasn't packing to go where the old man wanted, he was leaving.

When he was done he came back to the kitchen. John was leaning on the sink with his back turned to him, and Dean was sitting in one Chair. He quickly looked at the table in panic, but the latter wasn't there anymore.

"Dean"

His brother didn't look, he just kept on staring at the ground like the damn thing was the one at fault for all of this

"Dean can you drive me to the bus station"

And this made a reaction. Dean finally stared at him. Both of them knew the station wasn't far and that Sam could walk if he wanted to. But He asked Dean all the same, because he wanted to say his goodbye, and his brother must have got it, because he stood up from the chair.

"Where are you going?" John finally said turning around with a face that made him look thirty years older than he was

The question was directed to Sam, and he knew it was a tricky question.

"Not where you want me to"

That was enough for John to understand. John walked until he was close to Sam and grabbed him by the shirt

"Are you giving up?"

"I never give up. You are the ones who gave up on me"

"Son of a... If you go, you are dead to me"

"Didn't you already tell me that once?"

That wasn't a question. John walked away from Sam letting him go, and he said in a voice that neither Dean or Sam had heard in their entire lives

"If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back"

The tension of the room couldn't get worse. It was hard to breath. He then nodded and left the house closing the door behind him.

He looked at the impala, and he could remember all the happiness he had shared in that car with his brother. When he started walking he heard the door of the house opening and closing.

"Sam Wait... I... I give you a ride"

He turned around to see Dean already nest to the Impala staring at him waiting for him to say something. He just smiles and went to the other side of the car.

Dean was driving very slowly, Like he was trying to make to the station tomorrow and not today. They were silent for a long time. Dean was The first one to speak

"What did you mean by You are the ones who gave up on me? Did I do something?" He asked without taking his eyes off the Road

"No. Not you"

This wasn't the answer his brother wanted, but he wouldn't say more. It must have shown because his brother didn't ask more about it. He just couldn't say to Dean that their Mother and father, Bobby and half of the world had given up on him.

After some more silence Dean spoke again

"Congratulation" If it had been sarcastically Sam wouldn't have been surprised, but it was sincere.

"What for?"

Finally Dean looked at him

"For being accepted on the camp" Now Sam was looking at him with eyes wide open

"You Knew?"

"If you had told me I would have known sooner... I found out today" He said looking again at the road

John at told him? That couldn't be. Dean would be more shocked wouldn't he?

"Sammy... I don't want you to go. But maybe it's for the best. If you hated so much this life, maybe it's best for you to go to the camp and live a normal life"

Dean knew this and he was saying Sam should go. Was he that much of a freak. Did he really have a a mental problem? He new homosexuality wasn't a disease... But that didn't mean he was normal. Did Dean know his feelings for him. Maybe that was why he was sending him away to the Facility. He was lost in his thoughts when the car stopped a few feets away from the station.

"You should go. You should fight for a better future. Maybe even finding yourself a good looking woman" Dean said that staring at him with a sad Smile

So, it was true. His brother knew. And he wanted him to go.

What Sam didn't realize was that they were both talking about different thing. What he didn't see was how Dean was trying everything not To break in front of him. And he failed to notice the love in his brother's eyes, because he also was too broken at the moment.

"Yeah, sorry" He said in a whisper

They both saw the bus at the end of the road arriving. They looked at each other, and Dean said

"So, see you around?" It was just too hard to say goodbye

He was sure he would never stop having feelings for his brother even if he went to the camp, He would never find a woman or man who could Replace Dean. And he knew this was the last change he had. So, he took it.

He put his hand on the back of Dean's neck and pulled him into a kiss.

It was slow and tender, and when he was ready to stoped, Dean reached fot him wail opening his mouth to deep the kiss. And Sam just couldn't think anymore. He could feel Dean's hand resting on his arm, he could feel Dean's tongue with his. And he could feel how right this was. Suddenly The kiss tasted salty, and he realized it was his own tears he was tasting. Why did he always cry so much? Dean pulled away slowly and Sam quickly gave him another kiss that left him breathless making Dean putting his hand also in Sam neck. When they broken the kiss, Sam rested his forehead on Dean's own.

"I Love you so fucking much" Sam said in a rusty voice wail his tears ran freely on his face

Dean put his hand on Sam chest to pull him away enough to be able to see him

"What?" He was more than just confused

"I'm not sorry Dean" He said with a low voice.

Giving him another kiss, but this time just pressing their lips together. And Just like that he left the car with his bag.

"Wait" Dean said in a whisper, trying to understand.

But Sam didn't hear it, because he was running to the bus that was already leaving without him.

Dean got out of the car has soon he realized he had to do something fast

"WAIT" Dean yelled this time

But Sam was already inside of the bus that had stooped on purpose for him. And because of it he had failed to see the tear that fell from Dean's eyes

"SAM" He yelled.

When the bus could no longer be seen he fell to his knees realizing that this was His little brother's decision. Not his.