yay! :D it hasn't been a month since i last updated! ^^ be happy please! :D lol. Anyway, I actually really liekt his chapter :) I was listening to 'Whispers in the Dark' when i wrote it (that would explaint he lyrics, lol) anyway, I loved Matty in this one. Does anyone know how to draw Mello/Matt very well? If so, can ya please draw one of them for me...? o//O...it'd be fuckin awsome ta see this drawn (in my head). I would, but i suck. lol. just wanna say thanks to my reviewers :) love ya guys! an if ya have any ideas, id love to hear 'em ^^ anyway, PLEASE rate an comment! they're my drug!! :D...no really oO...
Disclaimer: I do not own death note sadly :( it belongs to those two guys whoms names i can never remember.
Better than Drugs
(Matt's POV)- Lucifer's Angel
He walked away. Just walked away...like last time. Even if it was only the next room, he left. That blond little hoe can't even stand the sight of me. God dammit.
I sat on the bed, glaring at the ceiling. The smoke continued to fill my lungs. But coughed the drug out. I wasn't high. I knew that. But I sure wish I was.
Go ahead, run away, Lucifer's pretty little angel.
The self inflicted wounds stung under my clothing. I wanted to show him just how fuckin much I care. I care enough to tear open my skin with his name, and let my addiction swim in those cuts. I wanted him to know just how fuckin pathetic I am with out my dark angel. Yeah, I saved him. Shouldn't that be enough for a little reward? A little thank you for scavenging through mounds of trash and fire just to find him, and then cleaning him, all so I can get insulted.
I remembered when I saved him. All that ash and shit burning his skin. His frail body smoldering in the pits of a new found, personal Hell. His hair was tainted in black, but still shinning gold. Amber light making it even more beautiful. I won't deny it. Mello's beautiful. And Hell, he knows it. At Wammy's, he may have been second smartest, but he was always the hottest. But now, in his state, even though he was almost glowing, you could see his faults as though they were written in his skin. You saw the burnt body, skin and hair. You saw a skinny little ass hole, but you also saw the boy who gave everything to his dreams, and had them stolen away.
Mihael Keehl, you may think you're old enough to be on your own, but when it all comes down to it, you're nothing but a little boy. And, I may not like it, but I need you..
I turned on my side, glaring out the apartment window. The moon painted past the blinds, leaving my face in stripes. May be I should have let him die. I wouldn't be going through this shit. None of his insults and violent traits. But then again, that's how he always was. Why was this any different? How come I don't feel the some way as before? Why does love have to change everything and make me into a fuckin retard around him?! It's just screwed up!
It hurt to move. It hurt my body, my heart, my pride. How you may ask? Well, how would you feel if your best friend cursed you out about using drugs, then you just so happen to lean over the side of the bed, and reach for more? Tell you, it hurts pretty damn badly. So what if these things could kill me? I lit the stick and held it under my lip. My hand sliding down my body to met the 'M' just about my navel. I traced it with my pinkie finger. Wish he would touch me like that. Wish Mels' hands would actually shake, as they grazed over my skin. I would love that. But alas, he's not interested in guys. Fuckin pimp always had girls on him at Wammy's.
"Hello, Mello!" a small group of girls crowded around us. Each held a small pink box, and a smile on their faces. They all new Mels loved chocolate, and what better day to give, than on Valentines Day? No one would be suspicious about it. And thats just what Mels liked, playing in secret. All his little games. Nothing perverted intended. He was like a cat, playing all the girls like mice on strings. A brown haired girl stepped forward. Her green eyes not daring to look into his. A pink blush painted on her freckled face.
"umm, excuse me, Mello. But uh..." She said shyly.
'Better not bitch..' I thought jealously. I stood behind him. Though my face calm, content as always, I could feel a glimmer of anger in my stomach. Mello had been the only one that had been there for me. With me. And I would let no one take him away.
"I w-was wondering i-if you'd like some chocolate?" she held the box out. Not looking at him, the fear and shyness plastered on her face.
'Course he likes chocolate, dip shit!' The thoughts continued to bite at me.
"How'd ya know, hunny?" he replied lightly. Ruffling her hair with his pale hand. The girl's friends squealed, as her blush grew even more.
"Hunny?" she asked.
"Yeah, listen, I got to go. Maybe you could come around some time." he smiled, and began to walk away. Just walk away. I chased after him. Feeling the object in my vest pocket hit me lightly.
"Mels!" I caught up to him. "What was all that bout?"I tried to sound normal. Forcing a tint of hurt out of my voice.
"What? Can't take a joke?"
"Not when that joke could end up hurting someone." he looked up, and I looked at him. The orange dying sun out side shinning over him. He looked like an angel..
"I really don't care. I'll do anything I want." He cocked his head at me, grinned coolly, and walked on.
He was an angel.
He was Lucifer's angel...
Always beautiful, forever uncaring. Always gold. Forever Mello.
I took the cigarette from my mouth. Holding it between two fingers. My blue eyes scanning the night just outside. I felt cold. None of the drugs ever made me warm. But that moment when I was holding Mello, my body felt so hot. I wanted to hold him like that again. No, I wanted more than that. And damned if I don't, damned it I do get him.
Despite all the lies, all the shit he's put me through, his love's mine. I will make him mine.
I will hold him, he will run to me.
"No, you'll never be alone. When darkness comes, I'll light the night with stars..." He would never be alone. I sat up, and opened the dresser drawer beside me. I rummaged through it, retrieving a black permanent marker. "You know I'm never far.." I began to drag the marker over my skin, covering it in black stars. They cloaked me from the ankle up, and kissed the corner of my eyes. The ink chasing any and all unnecessary white areas. I brought the pen to my lips, and coated them too in black ink, like a drug sick lipstick.
"Hear my whispers in the dark..." The fumes seeped from my body to my head, but despite this, I pulled out yet another marker, and drew on my own eye lids, heart, nails and tongue. Roses painted the skin over blue eyes, contrasting brilliantly. My chest held home to a star the size of an average palm. Coloured scarlet. My nails dipped in red, and my tongue dripped with chemical filled crimson ink. Staining my teeth and inner cheeks like the blood my friend had spilled.
"I will not give up my angel. To no one. Not the devil, not God, nor the darkness..." My speech became slurred. The drugs finally hitting me head full blown. The room spun, casting spider webs like marks in my vision form the moon light. "Ugh..." I clenched my stomach. My head hurt like Hell, and I couldn't stop the room around me. My body hit the mattress. I rubbed my face on the bed sheets. Although I didn't regret my actions, I wish I hadn't chosen a permanent marker, those things smell like shit. I felt a violent convulsion in my stomach. My eyes flew open quickly, as I vomited all over the white, tobacco stained sheets. I breathed heavily, the waste form my last meal dripping over my black painted lips. I breathed sharply, as I felt another eruption force the digested food from my throat. And it continued like that for a good 20 minutes.
Why won't you come in and help me, you bastard?! Could he not hear me? If he did, did he not care?! I felt the hot tears leave my sapphire eyes. It hurt so badly, and tasted horrible. My hair was now dampened with vomit, and bile. The thought of extracts from my liver only made me feel worse. That bastard. He didn't care.
I lie there, deciding to just sleep in my own juices. My torso covered in fuckin grime, drugs, and God knows what else. But at this point, I really didn't give a shit, that is, until he walked in...
clif hanger! :D dah dah DAH.
what will happen next? will Mels feel compassion for Matty? or leave him in disgust? Will he even want to go through with his plan to be Matt's new drug? WIll it end up in rape, drugs, death, or sex? :D dont worry, i have alot more to come :) dont loose faith in me! thanks :)
