Hello, whatever.

You see, because I am only allowed to beat his sorry ass in the gym (and also, accidentally in the feild), the least I can do is beat him on here, right? That's what I keep saying to myself.

I thought I would just say that.

Lets get going. I have three ideas here which I liked. Seriously, I CAN'T kill Chaoji! (You KNOW WHO YOU ARE!) I know you hate him like everyone else, but if the general gets on here, I'll be killed, or worse, knowing that crazy old man. In his eyes, I would be killing my brother… even IF he is a me-fan boy-

Ok, you know what?! I give up. Check number three.

So, here are some of the ideas that I saw. And the writing to accompany them.

Watch me, Moyashi, as I stun you with my writing skills. Be careful not to get jealous, now.


1. ScarredWitch:

Lord God in the Heavens Above, you two argue like brothers! *gr* It's annoying! *gr* In my opinion, you two are both powerful exorcists; height has nothing to do with it. Can't you at least agree on that?!?!

I'll admit, this was FUNNY! Despite the damage it caused to my eardrums, KANDA *pulls off the earmuffs.* And you do have anger management issuses! You wouldn't be so worked up if you didn't!

I am glad Allen's here. He's like a brother-figure to me (I have no brothers, sadly). Kanda-san, since you're so competitive, this should put you ahead if you go back to what I said in my earlier replies.

So, Kanda-san, since you said you would write about ANYTHING we requested, I have one:
Theme: Impending/Inevitable Death
Character: a young Witch named Alexandra who's cursed to "die" on the sunset of her 18th birthday (She's not the ideal witch; she deals with spirits, ghosts, demons, etc.)
Main Idea: She has to find a way to free herself from the curse before her 18th birthday (she's 17 now).
Genre: Tragedy, Horror, take your pick.
Alex's appearance: Dark, dark black hair, ice-blue eyes, and snow-white skin (I mean it's REALLY white).

Well, that's it. Kanda, hopefully you'll be courteous enough to introduce me to Allen. I'm telling you, Allen, this guy does NOT understand the simple concept that I like the colors black and silver and THAT I HATE PINK! He keeps on teasing me about it, and I've had ENOUGH!

By the way, Allen-san, my sister has a crush on you! C:

(-Introduce yourself to that idiot. I'm writing yours, even though I have NO BACKGROUND KNOWLEDGE of whom you are writing about. I just liked the fact she was cursed (I can relate to that…). Have fun with it.

Why is 'die' in apostrophes?! Is she going to die or what?!)


Black dawn:

For ScarredWitch

It was here, amongst the pale weeds and the naked flowers, where the maiden sat with her glazed eyes on the floor, unremarkably still in her silent trance. The soft trill of small birds did nothing to help her; in fact, their beady stares made it worse, and their sickeningly bright colours were of stark contrast to her. The feathers fell like snow at her feet and danced in the quiet wind around her form. Small bodies darted above her, like streamers in the sky, before disappearing into the blaze of sunlight.

Yes, she sat, with an air of hopelessness, around the marvel of color.

"Help…" And softly, the tears fell.

She, of unusually tough disposition, was not supposed to cry like this. She was supposed to be the one who always cheered others on, always looked on the positive side, always was strong, but the mere thought of 'coming of age' shook her to her core and made her collapse inside. How pathetic. Of course, the subtle comfort of spirits and the long-dead was something she had always treasured, despite her depression, for to be bathed in their attention was to feel as though you were flying; it shouldn't happen, but it does. The miraculous intake of breath as they swam around her, and the even more miraculous intake of breath as they attacked her, was her life. Oh, what a thrilling life the witch lead, one to be envied.

Or, so it should have been.

Through all the thrilling action, the suspense, the drama, and the rewards, came the rain, which fell hard and fast upon her head. After all, who want's a ghost-chaser? A spirit-seer? A witch? After all that, whilst all the other children had a home to run to, a place to feel safe, she had nothing, and 'nothing' couldn't keep out the rain, protect her from the wind, save her from the constant steam of people who thought she was 'dangerous'.

Though of course, a curse hurts no-one but the person its inflicted upon. And around her heart, surely, a curse sat, cast in iron, killing her slowly. On days, she would muffle screams in her clothes at the agony it caused her, though not physically, but mentally, and would be left in the silence with a hurting head. And like a clock inside her chest, she heard the ticking, and the battery was dieing out. How long was left? Till she reached maturity? What an agonising wait, when you were just a year away, in the peak of fitness, the peak of power, and through your bleeding heart, you could see the truth in people, even if no-one believed you.

Oh, what was a young girl to do?

Where was everyone?

Was she alone?

Why?

In the stream of never-answered questions, she lost herself to confusion and tragedy. As she felt sorry for herself, she expected others in turn to pity her, the girl different from the rest, the one who was never going to be able to live. Despair had settled in her soul, and became like contours on her pale skin.

And so, at the end of the day, she would return to the place of solitude, and sit, with her hands in her lap, and stare at the setting sun. Another day lost to the moon, and another day closer to 'that day', when those birds would stop singing and their colors would go unnoticed. The soft blues would fade into the deep black, and the sun, lingering on the edge of the horizon, disappears, to reappear once more the next day, to blissfully ignore the girl that was right under it's piercing gaze.

Alexandra curls into a ball of silky black hair, and the eyes disappear, and she becomes nothing but a sleeping body, to awake in the morning.

It was true, that behind every person, no matter how tough, if you could strip them to the core, they would be as fragile as the suckling kitten, and would shake upon you touching them, and would cry at the slightest of discomfort. She was such a kitten, and beneath the deep, crystal eyes, a little girl screamed. Salvation, salvation, salvation. A life lost, nothing gained.

It would be another day tomorrow- another step towards that black dawn.

(A/N: Hah, I made up her personality.)


2. Timcanpy:

:0
that was a... awesome speech!! (though this doesn't sound good of a... nevermind...)
anyway, A-chan (Allen) beat you two out of three popularity votes...

... onto the main topic, a request!: ... write a story based on any poem. the main character has to be you (of course, since you're the star! :)).

(-Shut up, no he didn't!! Stupid ball… grrrr…a story based on a poem?! I don't KNOW any poems?! Do you want me to write a poem about me or something?!)


Of casualties:

About me, for Timcampy (stupid ball!!)

(Yup, I suck at poetry. Whatever. It's not like I write poetry often.)

The spectacular line of casualties

That span before the gun-metal eyes

Were nothing but hindrances

Closely followed by cries

And in the howling night

The blood drew bright; stains

On the sandy ground

And the only sound

Was his heart against the world

The colors swirled and swirled

Until all that was left was black

And that ever lingering red

On a white canvas

Which bled and bled.

...

The spectacular line of casualties

That span before the gun-metal eyes

Were always rising, like a phoenix

Where in the flames, it resides

And the limbs go 'crack'

Beneath the blade of blue

And an aim held true

But they kept on coming, one by one

And one by one, they were swept

Aside like leaves in a gale

The people kept well away

For they were tired and frail

But he couldn't help, and he forgot

...

The people who were left to rot.

The spectacular line of casualties

Span before the gun-metal eyes

And he could only think that he

Was going to last; to live,

And the other lives on the field

Were fading, most already gone

He had nothing but a sword to wield

Which in the darkness, shone.

Were they doomed from the start?

He clutched at his heart

Yes, they were going to die

in front of his gun-metal eyes

And he could do nothing

But watch as they cried.

(A/N: Yes, I watch people die all the time. Notice how I don't seem to care a lot here. Also, the dots are inbetween the stanzas to create a gap, becasue FF .net keeps getting rid of them!!)


3. ShiraiHime:

Write anything!? ...Okay, since you don't allow yaoi, how about...YOU KILLING CHAOJI. YEAH!! I hate that **! He's such a goddamn Kanda fanboy! Grrhh..Just seeing his face makes me want to beat the crap out of him! Except I can't do that since I'd end up crumpling a good page of D .Gray-Man, with other awesome bishounen in it. Like you, Kanda-dono! 8D

Haha, though I love Allen, it's kind of true that he's pretty short. I'm a year younger than him (he's fifteen right?) and I checked our heights-I'M TALLER. And I'm a girl! Hahaha! So he really is a moyashi! (I still love him though. But of course you come first on my list Kanda-dono! )

Mm..you called him a mindless sheep...But...

Don't mindless sheep get eaten by wolves? 8D (I'm hinting something here, in case you don't get it :) )

I thought that thing about him liking smilies was cute :)

About the animal thing, maybe people think that you were the quiet type that was good with animals? I dunno, it's just a guess, I never really thought of you as an animal-loving person =w=

That's all for now!

(You are so damn persistent (like me)!! Fine, have your own way. Look below. And also, what are you hinting? That I'll eat Moyashi? Nah, he won't taste nice. He's all scarred up. And I hate animals!!)


In pitch black:

For ShiraiHime.

It was in pitch black, when his heart raced and his brain sparked thoughts of immanent death that were yet to come true. Pinned to a wall by, what could only be described in the dim light as a monster, he grit his teeth and tried to invocate the innocence at his wrist. Upon failing, he felt the back of his head crash against the wall as the man in front of him punched him in his face. The thin trickle of blood that had been coming from his lip now became a stream as red erupted from his nose.

"Tell me…" It was breathy, and angry. "Why the fuck you were taking pictures of me when I was asleep?!"

He paused, and the only sound in the air was the harsh breathing of his captor and the clink of his useless innocence. He was too inexperienced, he couldn't activate it. He tried again. Yet again his head slammed into the wall with force. This time, he could feel tears spring up to his eyes; quite unmanly. But, he hurt in more places than one, and he was tired, and scared.

He couldn't answer the question, either.

Having always looked up to Kanda since he joined the team, his friendship (or lack of) with the man had blossomed into mild obsession. Truthfully, he wanted to get a picture of his idol in a state where he could not hit him for his photo album, which had his general's team in it. There were a lot of pictures, and in most of them, Kanda was frowning, scowling, and in one, even threatening someone with death. It was horrible, because he wanted nice pictures in his album.

"Answer me!!" He was flung to the floor, where he was swiftly kicked in the side and then pinned by a foot upon his chest.

"I-I'm sorry, Kanda!!" Chaoji cried, arms raising to protect his aching and bloody head. There was a deep scowl; a sound that made him shiver and want to hide. But, circumstances stopped him moving anywhere. "I just wanted a nice pic-"

"Lies!" The man hissed. "Have you not read all my rants?! Have you not listened to a word I have said?! I hate Yaoi!! I detest it!! And there you are, taking pictures of me whilst I am asleep in nothing but my boxers! Hand over that camera, Chaoji, or things will turn bad."

The threat was real.

"Bu-but-"

"Oh, that's it!" Kanda drew Mugen stealthily from its sheath. "I've had enough of you, you useless bastard! ShiraiHime told me to kill you ages a go, but I ignored her! Now, you'll suffer for being one of the most useless characters I have ever seen, with the most generic innocence ever, and I don't care what master does to me!!"

"No-!!"

He plunged Mugen deep into the right side of his chest. There was a wet gurgling sound before blood oozed from the wound, and from the bigger mans mouth, more blood came. He couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, the pain was so bad; he felt immobilised. The liquid flowed through his lungs, effectively drowning him slowly, as his breath became hot with the substance and his eyes became blank with the realisation that he was going to die.

And, ever slow slowly, he slanted the sword, and leant on it. It slid deeper in, through the ribs and to somewhere where Kanda didn't actually know. Chaoji had began thrashing, and to avoid him getting up, the man put both feet on his arms, and commanded him to stop moving. He didn't. Inside him, though Mugen was in a locked, secure position where it couldn't do much damage, he still thought it was cutting him up, so he tried to move more, speech coming out in gasps and screams.

Kanda smirked, and withdrew Mugen, a rush of red following the blade. But, the man was still alive. Still there, alive and kicking, even if he was half dead, and half conscious. It was time to end it. He was going to make this sick guy wish he had never been born in the best way he could.

"Brace yourself, Chaoji." The man grinned. "You are going to find out how the Akuma feel when I am destroying them."

Chaoji couldn't hear him.

"Innocence, activate!" The sword flared blue and looked as if it had been set on fire. "First illusion: hells insects!!"

A gang of little creatures, full of teeth, burst forth into the air.

"Attack!"

They dived, right for the wound, where their master had wounded Chaoji. The man on the floor looked in horror as he was about to be destroyed by these creatures that he had seen so many times. One by one, they squirmed into his body, their eyes glistening. They tore muscle, ate away at his insides. Chaoji screamed, thrashed, cried, and prayed for help. It was hell on earth. They could be seen, wiggling beneath his skin, devouring flesh with their sharp teeth, destroying tissue and other important stuff, little by little.

Chaojis eyes had remained open in death, and when his body had ceased to breathe, they continued to eat, under the watchful gaze of their master.

Through the sickening squelches in front him, Kanda carefully went over to Chaoji's bag and extracted the camera. Stupid Chaoji. The man knew it was there all along, but Chaoji didn't. He flipped the camera open, and looked at the film. His head tilted to the side in wonder.

He quickly snapped open the back and pulled out the brown film, and using light from Mugen, he looked at the pictures. Him and Marie, Chaoji and Master, Master and him… and that was it. No pictures of him half naked.

"That idiot." Kanda hissed, carelessly tossing the camera away. "He didn't have any film left when he took those pictures. What a waste of time. "

He looked back at the body, though alive with movement, he was still dead. His body was jerking and writhing on the floor as the little creatures moved inside him. As he convulsed, the pool of blood beneath him was getting bigger. That was enough. The little creatures disappeared at the wave of the sword they were spawned from, and yet again, the two were in pitch black.

Except, only one of them was breathing.

And then all of a sudden, there was light.

"Yuu-chan! Yuu-chan!! Never guess what I have found!!"

He turned as Lavi had opened the door at the top of the short flight of steps that led into the basement, letting in enough light to see Kanda but not Chaoji. Lavi had a keen instinct, not unlike a dog following its prey, when it came to tracking.

"What?"

And there, in his hands, was a picture of Kanda in his boxers, splayed out on his bed, asleep. He tensed. Lavi couldn't see his expression clearly.

"Oh, Lavi." He smirked. "Come down here so I can see it better. Close the door, on the way down as well. Don't worry, the lamp is on."

"…Ok."

And Lavi, who closed the door, and tiptoed down the steps with a picture in his hand, was just about visible in the dim light.

It was practically pitch black;

Until Mugen activated.

(HahAahaaHAHAahHAhaha KILL LAVI!!!)


Master! Master! I am so sorry! I promise I will wash my mouth out with soap myself!! I won't eat anything for a week!! I will cut my hair!! PLEASE, PLEASE don't hurt me!!

Ehem. I know its pathetic, but necessary. Do you know what than man is capable of?!

Anyway.

Well, that was fun (not to mention completely random). I like to write. Yaaaay. I am so enthusiastic. Let me give you flowers and shower you with praise. (Sarcasm.)

Anyhow, please take note of my new law.

---Because I receive WAY to many comments to answer, I will answer five comments that I think are the best comments. These comments could be anything, they could be randomly chosen, whatever, but just make them good, and then I will answer them.

--I will write anything that isn't to do with sex, Yaoi, Yuri, Hentai, ect. I will pick three ideas from comments. I can even do your crappy Mary-sues. Yes.

These ideas, as I said above, could be first come first serve, randomly picked, whatever. The three above were random. Otherwise, do you think I would really choose to write poetry?! (I was tempted to do the one someone requested about torture, but if I did, it would go on for days.)

By the way, random selection is done by randomly pointing at one on the screen with my eyes closed.

Jesus, I was up late writing this. I think Lavi saw me. That's the last thing I need…

The reviews I picked this time:


1. mameha17:

Sounds like some one's afraid~

Sincerely, Mameha

-… What the hell is THAT supposed to mean?!

Afraid of the General after he reads what I have wrote: yes.

Baka no Moyashi: Not in a million years.


2. AmazinglyUntalented:

I have taken Allen's side, but I don't care (sides don't really matter to me in wars like these, to boring being on only one, so I'm like a double-triple agent) I shall still post whatever it is you post here. ANYWAY, for one you wouldn't look good in a dress, or female clothes for that matter. Your hair may be long, BUT YOU ARE MAN. :D Plus you don't have the figure Allen does, HE can pass as a girl.

Oh, yeah, Mugen, awesome name. Yullen, sorry I like it depending on it, I apologize Kanda-dono. (HA! I know what that means.)

Anyways, I guess I would REQUEST a uhm... you takin over the world and enslaving all those who annoy you? Except me, I'm actually being nice.

P.S. I love your personality, you help brighten the atmosphere in your own way~

P.P.S. Never had Soba, but I will try it... someday.

-… TRAITOR. I hope you get rampaged on by all the fan-

Of course I wouldn't. I am male. I am glad you can see that, unlike a lot of the fan girls/people who want to piss me off for their enjoyment. Moyashi DOES have a womanly figure. Seriously, give him boobs, and he can be 'Ellen'.

Mugen is the best name. You know what what means? Huh?!

You see, that is a very good request. But, seeing as everyone would die at the end and I would be the only living mortal left, it wouldn't be good to read. Plus, I would have to up the rating. And of course, I would enslave you (no, not like that, pervert!!).

I like to think I make it worse.

Try it. Then eat it for every single meal.


3. Deeper than Darkness

You know Kanda-san... I just realize this though... since when does it have... an internet war here... Well, don't need to think about that though, I just wanted to say that... I think Allen white haired is kinda unique and made him look like a porcelain doll and adding his scar... we have a nice porcelain doll... (I think he look like one though)

And for the fans, I don't know who have the most, or what, but I know one thing. Almost all of the fan girl choose neither you, Allen and Lavi... I think its equal though, since you three are like the main characters here. And with you win the popularity poll or whatever its name, I think it doesn't mean that Allen is... lose or something like that, since you're still one of the main characters and have a big potential to kill the big fat farty by the name of Millennium Earl... My friend even called him baka tamago XD...

And by the way, I think if you and him fight... it will be equal though, since I don't really know. But I think in the end it will be equal since, you have the most speed and attack while Allen have speed and defense... I don't think his attack is affective enough since his sword is kinda hard to use while Mugen is easier. And I do think that you have a really bad... anger management issues... (please don't kill me, I just telling you my opinion...) But I think it still okay though, since I know a lot of people that have an anger management issues...

Well, I guess just until this then.. I hope you didn't angry with this...

Ciao

-His hair may be unique, but that doesn't stop it from being crap. Oh, imagery? You think he looks like that? Then what do I look like, then?!

… I like to think I am not on par with those losers. Especially Lavi, who annoys the heck out of me. And It does mean that Allen's the looser, because he fails at life. And also, apparently death, seeing as he seems to never die, no matter what. Hah! Baka tamago!! Seriously, I hate that guys guts.

I just wanna slice him up-

Would it be equal? WOULD IT? We should try it out some time. It is true, that I have speed and attack, so I think his tactic would be to wear me down and then spring on me, but if I keep him on his toes whilst defensive, he would get tired too (I have been planning this for a while and have many 'bring down the Moyashi' techniques).

I DON'T HAVE ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES!!!! Che, its nothing!! Its because I can't make actions online, so I have to express myself through violent words!! Don't make me hack off your face until you stop talking!!

Opinion, eh?!

No, I am not angry… huff…


4. theswisswereright:

Dearest Kanda-dono,

I, like the Swiss of my name, am taking no sides in this writing war. I believe you and Walker-sama are both very talented exorcists and writers.
Therefore, I have one question for you that I have also asked Walker-sama.
This is an online battle. How will you decide who wins? You cannot kill each other...

Thanks in advance for your response.
-theswisswereright

PS. Although I am neutral, I do slightly prefer Kanda-dono...

-Boo. Boring. Take a side. Yes, but secretly in your head you know I am better. He doesn't even write!!

We will decide who wins when I catch him in real life and pound his face into the floor. Or, when he gives up? When everyone says I write better? When he suddenly dies in a car accident?

It could be anything.

You see! I wrote that bit about you thinking I was better before I even finished reading the review!! I win.

Swiss?


5. Silvelt Andrea:

Dear Kanda-san,
I, Silvelt Andrea, shall be completely siding with you in this internet writing-war! You have my full support against Moyashi-chan and his supporters! XD

Since you already have so much response to Yaoi/shonen-ai topic, I don't think I should write mine 'cause most of my reasons are the same with the ones you've got (please don't maim me).

And about Yullen stuff... I think that's the most reasonable Yaoi pairing, 'cause Lavi's personality wouldn't go well with yours, and I'm sure you and Tyki would go after each other's throat the second both of you have a meeting. But I completely disagree with everyone who said you should be the Uke (I think there's something wrong with their eyes, can't they see you're the MAN?). And in my opinion, you aren't the feminine. I can't understand why people say you're pretty, you are perhaps the coolest (and the most handsome) character I've ever seen in my life. You're my favorite character, I admire your swordplay (in fact I'm thinking of taking Kendo class after I'm done with Tae Kwon Do, would you like to have a spar sometime? Oh and I'm not obsessed, please note that my fan-girlsm towards you is based on respect on your strength and your violent personality).

By the way, I have a question, a question which had haunted my consciousness ever since I read chapter 102. Here it is: Allen is a Moyashi to you because you are taller than Allen. Since Lavi is taller than you, does it mean you are a Moyashi to Lavi? And to Marie since he's too taller than you? Please note that this question is based on curiousness, and I didn't mean to offend you in any way...

Until next time, and with love,
Silvie

P.S If you like your report free of grammatical errors, I suggest you to stop using Word Pad to write your report. Use Microsoft Words instead, and activate 'Grammar Check' option. After you're done writing your text, press F7 so MS would check for any errors and mistype. I am an Indonesian (meaning English isn't my native language) and I myself am not a grammar freak so excuse me for grammatical errors.

-You better.

Kill them. Kill them all.

Lavi is just annoying, and I hate that man. He deserves to be crushed by a thousand rocks and then be set on fire!! And yes, I agree with you agreeing to the fact I CANNOT be the Uke. Never. In. This. Lifetime.

Oh compliments? Yes, 'pretty' is the wrong word entirely. Handsome is better (no, I am not being big head, but seriously, it IS better). Yes, do kendo. And when you complete it, use a proper sword. you can fight me, but I wont go easy on you. Strength? You are flatter me (like so many other people do, and fail). AND WHAT VIOLENT PERSONALITY?!? Just wait until I get hold of you, I'll destroy you with Mugen!!

No, because me and Lavi are not that far apart, and we are around average height for our age. Marie is just a giant. I call him Moyashi because he is below the average height for his age. Below.

I upgraded to 'Microsoft Works Word Processor'. How do you use the grammar checker on there?


Another chapter, done. Phew. I am going to add one last thing, though.

Don't go on Moyashi's profile and be horrible to him. Although it's a nice thought, think about it logically:

If he is already miserable, how am I going to make him even more miserable?!

So, stop 'flaming' him. Its my job. Stop depriving me of entertainment. Plus, you could possibly be kicked off the site. And we wouldn't want that now, would we? (I don't really care.)

And of course, yet again, I don't really care what you say to me. Like the opinion of a stranger about me as a person matters?

---Now, I need to know what you thought about the writing above (as in, all the fics). Did you like it? Did you hate it? Blah blah, whatever.

AND STOP CHALLENGING ME TO WRITE YAOI. I don't think I would be able to even if I tried.

Any how, enough moaning/ranting. Someone appears to be wanting me the medical ward…

Beat that, Moyashi.

-Kanda.

PS: If you skipped the middle bit of this fic, go back and read the new law.

PPS: In case you have not noticed (which I am sure you have not) I am out reviewing on fics now. I am not a 'flamer', but a constructive criticism…er. If you see me on your fic, don't be alarmed. I won't be mean…

(Are you that gullible!? Of course I will!! If I don't think it is good, I will say so!! Just not to the extent of what I say on here, got it? I'll make sure to not break any hearts. And of course, I don't review Yaoi. If you have any stories you want me to look at, tell me. If I am in a good mood, I will try not to 'be a jerk'.)

(AND I WILL GET YOU WITH MY SO CALLED 'ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES'.)

PPPS: Seriously, what anger management issues?! Just because I am not like 'OMG I be da best in da world an I can rite fan ficton an I am gud LOLWTF I kil u' doesn't mean I have ANGER issues!!! Seriously, do you want me to be nice and tell you are pretty you are, and smile handsomely in your direction, and then eventually get married with you and in some strange turn of events I will get pregnant with YOUR child?

Well, unfortunately, I won't.

Because you are not a Mary-sue.

Yes, I do have a thing against them.

Last thing... I thought I would leave this till last... for those who have read the last chapter of the manga...

Don't pity me.