Some mature content in this chapter, so you're warned. ;)
A Thousand Snowflakes
Seth watched the waves crash against the sand, felt how they crashed against his feet. He stood in the middle of the empty beach and had been doing so for quite some time. His feet were cold and he liked how the coldness hurt. Somehow it made the pain in his heart less.
He felt numb. He could not make himself move, even if he knew that he should. That seemed to be his problem. He knew that he should go back home. Back home to Summer. And his kids. Yet he did not.
They needed him.
It hurt every time he noticed that Isaac and Isabelle were surprised to see him or that his wife never expected him to be there, trying to be strong on her own. It hurt that he was a disappointment to them. Even if they never said it, he knew that he had failed them.
He should have been stronger. He should have spent more time with his family. He should have taken his kids out, played with them more. He should have held his wife as she cried, he should have let her be sad and feel. He should have taken care of them. Because he had promised her that he always would.
He should not have let Lina die. He should not have done this to his family. And now, here he was again proving what a failure he was. He had run away again, leaving Summer to deal with the reality.
Summer laughed. He loved her laugh; it made his whole body fill with happiness. Even on the crappiest day, coming home to hear her laugh made him smile and everything good again.
He could not believe what she had just told him. They were expecting another child. Lina would have a baby brother or sister.
Spinning Summer around in the air, Seth laughed as well, hugging his wife close to his body. He had never been happier in how whole life.
He was married to Summer, the love of his live. He got to wake up beside her every day and see her smile to him. They had a wonderful little girl, so full of life and so much like Summer. Lina was everything he could ever have wished for, and now they would have another child. Their family was about to grow into more perfection.
"Summer, I love you."
"I love you, too. I am so happy right now," Summer was beaming at him and he could see in her eyes that she was indeed that happy.
"I promise you, that I always will try to make you this happy."
Summer laughed again, rolling her eyes thinking he was the cheesiest husband ever. And then she kissed him and as she pulled away she was all serious. "I know. As long as we're together I will be."
He had promised her that he would always be there, always making her happy. He knew that she hurt as well, just as much as he did. She had lost her daughter. So he could not make her feel happy. But the sad part was that he did not even try anymore.
"Daddy, I love you. I'm okay now, daddy. Take care of mommy. She's sad, daddy, I could hear her cry. She needs you, daddy. You have to comfort her daddy, like you comfort me when I am sad. Good night, daddy."
His little girl talked a lot. It was not surprising though, since Summer had a big mouth and he always seemed to ramble. Lina would always astonish them though, by being so smart. Sometimes she was wiser than anyone else. She was what Kirsten always had called Seth; an old soul.
Lina had noticed how her mother grew sad when Neil Roberts died. And she had hugged her mommy tight, being extra kind to her. Seth had noticed, too. Summer's dad had been her only family. And the death of him was more than she could handle.
Their daughter was very kind-hearted. She was that way because of Summer, Seth always thought. For Summer had a big heart. That was one of the reasons of why he loved her so much, and why she was such a good mother to his children. Lina took after her mother, and would always notice if anyone was sad and then try to make them feel better.
"Alright, baby girl. I will go take care of mommy. If you promise me that you can sleep now." Seth brushed a few locks away from his daughter's face, giving her a smile. He had read her a story and comforted her from the bad dream she had woke up from.
Lina snuggled into her pillow, closing her eyes. "I am sleepy, daddy. I'll be alright."
Kissing her temple, Seth softly whispered to his girl, "Okay. Love you, princess."
"Love you, too, daddy."
Seth closed his eyes, remembering that moment. He had gone to check on his little girl and noticed her sitting in bed crying softly. She was like Summer that way as well, she tried her hardest to be strong. This time for her mother. Seth knew better though than to let her try to fall back asleep on her own, scared from her dream. He had laid down next to her, wrapping her in her favorite teddy bear hug. And she had shed a few tears and told him about her dream. And he had told her a story and then she was alright. Then she was herself again, happy and caring and smiling and just wonderful.
He had kissed her good night and made sure to leave the door slightly open. And then he had taken her advice and gone to comfort his wife, who had been in their bed crying her own tears. After a while, when she had calmed down and asked him about the kids, he had told her about Lina's nightmare. Summer had kissed his cheek and gone out of bed, heading for their daughter's room. There she spent the night, and Seth had fallen asleep himself smiling while thinking about his two strong girls.
He had to go back.
He could not let Summer deal with this on her own, not any more. He owed it to Lina. She would never forgive him is she could see him right now. She would make him comfort her mommy. She would make him comfort her little brother and sister.
Seth walked with big steps back to his car, decisive to pull himself together. Turning around one last time he again saw the waves crashing against the sand. "Good night, princess," he whispered into the night.
Summer woke up feeling something wet against her neck and something heavy pressing her down against the bed. It took a few seconds before she realized that it was Seth who was covering her smaller body, his tears falling on her neck. He had his arms carefully around her and his head buried into her shoulder and neck.
Instant relief went through her body and she wrapped her own arms around him, wondering if he was asleep on top of her. He smelled like ocean. "Seth?"
He moved slightly and she felt his shaky breath on her skin. "I'm sorry. I love you," he whispered before capturing her lips with his own, desperately kissing her.
She welcomed his touch, having missed him. But after kissing back, his tongue urging to enter between her lips and feeling his hands pulling her silk top up, she gently pushed him away, worry in her eyes. "Are you okay?"
He nodded against her face and started placing kisses on her chin and neck, caressing her stomach and arm with his hands. It felt good to have him touch her again. It had been a long time. But she still was not sure that this was a good idea.
"Seth," she started but he interrupted her, his finger against her lips.
"Shh, I just want to be with you right now."
"Are you sure, baby, because we don't have to-"
"I am sure. If you want to, I mean." His voice turned a little insecure, afraid that maybe she did not want to. Maybe she was mad. Maybe she needed him to explain. Just maybe.
Summer reassuringly smiled, looking into his eyes, still worried and wondering what was going on. Waking up with him being all loving and affectionate was not normal these days. Even though she had missed it, it was still strange. "Of course I want to, but-"
"No but," he finished and before she could say anything else he kissed her again, this time with more passion.
Closing her eyes she let herself be lost in his touch, inviting his tongue into her mouth, letting her fingers play with the curls in the back of his head. His hands were all over her body and she felt as if she may explode if he stopped. She had missed him, and right now she did not care where he had been or for how long. All that mattered was that he was here, and that he was kissing her and that his hand cupped her breast. And that she wanted him. In fact, needed him.
She quickly made him loose his shirt and let her hands stroke his naked back for a few moments before she decided that this would not be slow love-making. Moaning into his mouth, Summer rolled them around so that she was on top of him and took off her top that she slept in. She leant down again, eagerly kissing him while tugging at his pants.
Seth dropped a few wet kisses on her lips before he, panting for breath, took off the rest of his clothes and again pressed her down on top of him, her naked body feeling so good against his own. He was not sure when or how she had been able to make her underwear go but she was completely naked on top of him and while he sucked on her bottom lip and let his hands roar her body, she took him into her hands and gently stroked him a few times before pushing him into her.
He had not expected her to be this into this, but was glad to finally be this close to her again. It made him feel good, something he had not felt for a long time. She was warm and wet and sexy and he wanted her so bad. She was slowly thrusting her hips against his while biting his ear, her breath hot on his skin and her hands clutching his arms tightly.
He turned them around and felt her legs go around him, her breathing heavy against him. He leaned down to kiss her lips again, kissing her fiercely while he began to move again. She felt so good in his arms, and as one of his arms went around her back the other went to her chest.
After they both were done, Seth collapsed on top of her, both out of breath and their sticky bodies pressed against each other. Seth placed a kiss on her shoulder before rolling over to his side, feeling her snuggle close to him. She placed her head just under his, one arm around his waist and one leg in between his.
Seth kissed her head and breathed in her smell. He had missed being this close to her. He had missed them. Summer seemed to feel the same because she pressed herself even closer to him, lightly brushing her lips against his chest.
Before both of them fell into sleep, Seth quietly whispered into her hair. "I love you, Summer. Night." She fell asleep the instant she heard him, a smile on her lips. She had not felt as safe or secure for weeks. And in her sleep that night, she stayed close to her husband, his arms wrapped around her petite body.
The next morning Summer woke up still smiling. She felt like she had had a really good dream, where she had felt really good. Noticing her naked form, she realized that it had not been a dream. Seth had come back last night. And they had been together for the first time in over two months.
She stretched out her arms but opened her eyes as she did not grab anything but empty sheet. "Seth," she groggily said, wondering why he was not in bed next to her. He always was. He never went up before she did nowadays.
But he was not there.
Feeling her heart beat faster, Summer wondered if maybe he had left again. Maybe he had just come back last night but decided to leave again.
But maybe he was in the twins' room, or downstairs. Summer quickly got up and grabbed her underwear and silk top, putting them on and then wrapping her robe around her, hurrying out of their room.
Nothing in the twins' room. Their beds were not made but their pyjamas lay on their beds so she figured that they were already up.
After making a quick stop to the bathroom Summer went downstairs, finding Kirsten and Sandy in the kitchen. "God morning, Summer," Kirsten smiled as she stood by the counter sipping a cup of coffee.
Summer felt a little embarrassed in her silk robe, face without make up, as her in-laws were already perfectly dressed. There was no need though, she felt comfortable around them but somehow it made her feel insecure this morning. That could have something to do with the fact that she was overall confused. "Morning, Kirsten. Sandy."
"If you're wondering where your family is, Seth took the kids out for breakfast." Sandy seemed to have noticed how Summer's eyes searched through the room and then out the window to the pool.
"I'm glad Seth came back, sweetie. Did he come last night?"
Summer met Kirsten's eyes, looking confused. Seth had taken the kids out for breakfast. He had not done that for a really long time. Summer was glad that he had done that; he needed to spend more time with the twins. But she could not help feeling a little left out, seeing as he had not invited her.
"Um, he came last night. He took them for breakfast?"
"Yeah, I was as surprised as you are." Sandy said once again. "But he said to tell you that they were at The Diner if you wanted to come. He didn't want to wake you."
"But you know, Summer, you can just stay here. We have plenty of breakfast."
"Thanks. Kirsten, but I kind of-"
"I'll give you a ride," Sandy said, noticing the smile spreading on his daughter-in-law's face. He knew that Seth had been distant lately, and that Summer probably wanted to be with her family.
Summer thankfully smiled. "Thanks, Sandy. I'd like that. Let me just go change and I'll meet you in ten minutes."
"Ten minutes it is," Sandy happily said.
"Oh, and Summer, we thought that we all could decorate the tree later," Kirsten said. "If you want to, of course."
Summer nodded. "Sure, I'll talk to Seth."
As Summer rushed upstairs, Kirsten turned to her husband. "Seth actually seemed happy this morning. Maybe he's finally coming around. And Summer, getting ready in ten minutes-"
Sandy raised his eyebrows. "I know what you're thinking."
"Oh, I really hope they're healing. I hate to see them so heart-broken."
Sandy stood up and went to pull his wife into a hug. "Me, too, honey. They'll get through this though, I know they will."
"I hope so. I mean, I can't even imagine what they're going through."
"Yeah,"
"When we lost our baby, it wasn't the same. We didn't know her. Lina was five."
Sandy kissed his wife's cheek, remembering what they had gone through when Kirsten had a miscarriage. Seth had been around three years old and they had been trying to give him a sibling. But it did not seem to work and after two miscarriages, one in the early pregnancy and one when Kirsten was about five months pregnant, they figured that it wasn't meant to be.
It had always been something the two of them shared as a secret, and sometimes they would think of it with sadness. But they were blessed. They had each other and they had Seth. And then Ryan had come into their lives and their family. They were blessed.
Summer searched through the diner, quickly spotting three curly haired heads. She smiled and walked over to where they sat, having ordered pancakes.
Isaac and Isabelle sat on one side of the table, napkins tucked into their shirts as they ate their favorite breakfast meal; chocolate pancakes. Seth sat on the other side of the table, sipping some coffee and also with a plate of pancakes in front of him.
"Mommy," Isaac said with his mouth full of food. He smiled brightly and held up a fork with pancakes. "Look!"
"Hi, sweetheart! Yum," Summer smiled at her two happy kids, giving them each a kiss on their head. She then sat down beside Seth, giving him a broad smile as well. "Hi, Cohen."
"Love," he smirked and kissed her cheek, bringing an arm around her shoulders.
She grinned back, placing a hand on his thigh. "So, pancakes, huh?"
"Yeah, you want some," Seth pushed his untouched plate closer to hers and she accepted, having a taste.
"Good," she nodded. "I'd almost forgotten how great the pancakes are here."
Seth again smiled and had a bit himself, agreeing with his wife. "Really good."
"Mom, you slept long this morning," Isabelle said climbing up to sit on her knees.
"Yeah, I wanted to wake you but daddy said no." Isaac copied his sister and also sat up on his knees.
"Well, mommy needed some sleep," Seth explained and pulled Summer closer to him. "I think," he added to her ear.
Summer blushed in response, bringing her hand up to his one on her shoulder where she intertwined her fingers through his. "Well, now I am wide awake. And very glad to have breakfast with all of you guys." She leaned slightly forward and ruffled Isaac's hair, making the little boy laugh.
Seth placed yet another kiss on Summer's cheek, and Summer could not in this moment believe how they just 24 hours ago had been tense around each other and quiet and strange. Now, everything felt completely normal and comfortable and the way things always had been. She would take a sip of his coffee knowing that he wouldn't mind, and have a fork of pancakes before cutting him one piece and giving it to him. And they would sit close together, hands clutched or arms around waist or hand on top of knee, absentmindedly touching one other.
After two months, they were again back to being together. They were back to being Seth and Summer, the couple who knew what the other was thinking, who would share a smile in the weirdest of moments and who would make jokes and who just belonged together. And the whole world could know it. Because it had always been that way. They had always fit together so perfectly in that very strange way.
Summer smiled to herself and thanked the higher power who had given her husband back. They could get through this. As long as they were together. As long as she had Seth, she could breathe.
Rewiewerforleyton, thank you so much for reviewing every single chapter. Glad you found my story and like it! Also, thanks Olivia. Let me know what you think, again :)
