TORTURED MIND

CHAPTER SEVEN

Starsky woke up later that evening, his eyes snapping open and looking around the room wildly for a moment before settling back into that blank stare that unnerved Hutch. At least he wasn't repeating that phrase over and over again in Vietnamese like he had been earlier. Hutch longed to reach out and take Starsky's hand offering a measure of comfort to the brunet as well as to himself but he didn't, the memory of how Starsky had reacted earlier when he had been touched still strongly implanted in his mind.

"Come on, Starsky…you gotta help me out here." Hutch said, "I don't know to reach you, pal."

"The same way you always have," a soft voice said from the doorway, startling Hutch badly. He jerked his head around as Stephanie stepped into the room.

"I'm sorry." Hutch apologized "I didn't hear you come in. What did you say?"

"You were saying that you didn't know how to reach him and I said do it the same way you always have…with love." She said as she stepped up to the bed and automatically began taking Starsky's vital signs and assessing his condition. The brunet made a soft whimpering sound deep in his throat and tried to pull away even from her gentle touch.

"Why doesn't he want anyone touching him?" Hutch asked

"He's afraid…the trauma of what he's been through combined with the excessive amount of drugs he was given has altered his thought processes."

"So what you're saying is that he's not thinking straight right now."

"To simplify things…yes." Stephanie said with a smile. "Hopefully that's only temporary."

"The other doctor said something about restraints because he got violent." Hutch said, "Did he hurt anyone?"

"Dr. Wang told you that?" Stephanie said, the tone of her voice and the tight smile on her face making it clear that she didn't care much for the other physician or his methods. "Yes, when they transferred him here from the medical floor, he did get very agitated and tried to hit one of the nurses but he didn't hurt her. He was still much too weak. But Doctor Wang tends to medicate his patients to keep them docile and calm so it makes his job easier."

"I made it clear that I didn't want that happening again." Hutch said. He glanced back at Starsky and added, "We had to go undercover one time at a mental hospital back in Bay City and they kept him pretty doped up while he was there. He also almost became a human guinea pig for a doctor that was using mental patients to experiment on."

"Were you both pretending to be patients?" Stephanie asked curiously, always interested in hearing stories about police work.

"No. Starsky was the patient. He fit the part better than I did. I was posing as an orderly."

"He's been through a lot for a relatively young man, hasn't he?"

"That he has. I think he's broken almost every bone in his body at one time or another and had everything else from a sub dermal hematoma to chronic migraines."

"You care for him a lot, don't you?"

"He's my best friend. After he got shot and almost died, I took off work when he got out of the hospital to be his primary caretaker until he recovered enough to take care of himself."

"I could tell just by talking to you that the two of you were close." She glanced back at the brunet "That's what he needs the most right now is somebody here that knows him and really cares about him."

"He's not alone. Not anymore." Hutch said quietly, his eyes softening with affection as he gazed at Starsky's face.

"I have to get back to work." Stephanie said with a smile. "I know he's in good hands now."

Hutch gave her a wide grin as she turned and left the room. Glancing at Starsky, who was still lying passively on the bed with a vacant look on his face, he said, "Hear that, pal? You're in good hands now. I'm here, Starsk…and I'm not going to let anybody hurt you again." He lowered his voice even if there wasn't anyone else in the room to hear him. "I found your journal. I know what you've been through…what they made you do. I know that's not the whole story and I intend to find out exactly what happened and who tried to kill you…and I'll find a way to make sure they pay for it."

An aide came in shortly with two meal trays. Hutch insisted she leave. He would help Starsky feed himself if he needed assistance. She hesitated before doing as he requested. Starsky didn't show any sign of responding when Hutch tried to coax him into eating on his own. When Hutch filled a spoon with some mashed potatoes and held the spoon to his lips, Starsky sniffed at the food and then voluntarily opened his mouth, letting Hutch feed him. The blond smiled to himself. One battle won. Patiently, he fed Starsky his food before turning his attention to his own tray.

Per Hutch's earlier request, the nursing staff had moved a cot into the room and sat it up beside Starsky's bed so Hutch could stay with him since he had made it clear that he wasn't leaving. Based on the evidence he had uncovered so far, Hutch knew it wasn't safe to leave Starsky alone so that left Hutch to guard him. It was a duty that Hutch accepted without question. He had already placed an international call to Captain Dobey to bring him up to date on what he had learned so far. Even though he was thousands of miles away, Dobey assured Hutch that he had the support of the department if he needed anything. The fact that Starsky was still alive was a carefully guarded secret shared only by Hutch, Minnie and Captain Dobey. After hearing what Hutch had to say, Dobey agreed that it was best if it remained that way until further notice. Hutch's primary concern was getting Starsky well enough to get him out of Viet Nam and back to the States as soon as possible.

After eating, Starsky's eyes drifted shut as he fell into a natural slumber that wasn't induced by drugs. When he was asleep, the brunet's face relaxed and he looked more peaceful. Hutch remembered sitting in the hospital after the attack by Gunther just watching Starsky sleep and thanking god that he was still alive. He was even more grateful now since he had gone through hell for the past two years thinking that he'd lost the brunet for good this time.

As Hutch settled down for the night, Starsky began tossing his head back and forth on the pillow, obviously caught up in a nightmare. Starsky had been prone to nightmares ever since Hutch had known him but this nightmare seemed more disturbing than most. Starsky screamed out in his sleep and threw up his hands as if he were fighting off an unseen enemy. Instinctively, Hutch grabbed his hands to keep him from hurting himself. Starsky immediately calmed down, soothed by the sound of Hutch's voice and his loving touch. Somehow, in his sleep he seemed to sense Hutch's presence and felt safe. Hutch couldn't help but take that as an encouraging sign that everything would work out eventually.

Once he was sure that Starsky was resting comfortably, Hutch lay down on the cot and drifted into a light slumber, ever alert for any signs of distress from the brunet lying on the bed. Towards morning, he was awakened when Starsky started mumbling, talking in his sleep, another nocturnal habit he was prone to. He was speaking English but his words seemed confused and disoriented, aimless rambling that didn't make much sense. It sounded like he said someone's name a few times but Hutch couldn't decipher it because Starsky was barely speaking above a whisper. A few soothing words from Hutch was all it took to ease Starsky back into a quiet slumber.