Grelle awoke to the most horrific screaming—and not the good kind. She sat up like a rocket, and then was startled again by Sebastian, who was just sitting there watching her like some kind of murderer, a black hulking shadow against the headboard.

"Jesus Christ, Sebastian!" She nearly toppled out of bed. "You scared the hell out of me." Suddenly, Grelle remembered why she'd woken up. "You're supposed to be watching her," she scolded, throwing back the covers and scrambling to her feet.

"You've only been asleep for five minutes."

"Oh." She glanced at the clock. "Sorry."

He shrugged. The screaming continued. There wasn't time for a robe.

Grelle went barreling down the stairs to the second level and slipped as she turned the corner down the hall. Luckily Sebastian was right behind her to steady her fall and together the two of them kept moving until they reached Auden's door. That girl was wailing away in there like she was being stabbed repeatedly. After glancing at Sebastian, Grelle cracked open the door.

The screams grew louder. Through the darkness Grelle could just make out a shape on the bed, all knotted up in a single sheet and writhing in agony. She was having a nightmare, choking and gasping, no—she was awake. This was something else.

"Auden?"

Grelle had spoken softly, but the sound did catch Auden's attention and her face appeared as she looked toward the door. Tears streaked her cheeks, twisted in a mask of misery, and when she saw them standing in the doorway a whole new kind of sobbing took over. A groan shredded out of her throat. Grelle was over there in an instant.

"Auden. Auden, honey. Calm down—hey. Calm down."

She stroked her hair, but it did nothing. Auden began to tremble, rocking back and forth and writhing. Grelle tried to hold her down, keep her still, but it wasn't working. Auden continued to slice the air with her screams. Grelle looked back at Sebastian.

"What do I do?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Hell if I know."

She looked back at Auden. "Auden, breathe. You need to breathe. It's all right."

Suddenly, Auden shot up and shot backwards, pinning her back to the headboard and glaring at Grelle with a look that could kill if she'd been able to shoot laser beams out her eyes.

"It is not all right," she spat, literally spitting. Her skin was pallid and sweaty, her features still remarkably gaunt, though her hair did look better. Sebastian must have brushed it—no, that wasn't the point. Grelle reached for her and she shrieked, pressing herself against the headboard like she was intent to travel through it.

"Auden! You need to relax. You'll make yourself sick."

Right on cue, the chicken noodle soup made its reappearance when Auden threw up all over the bed in front of her.

"Well what did I say?"

Exhausted, Auden slumped against the headboard and quiet sobs took over, shivering her shoulders in pathetic little motions. Grelle scooted up next to her and took her into her arms. Auden consented this time and let herself be held.

"Sweetie…sweetie…just breathe, all right? Just breathe."

Grelle stroked her hair. After some time Auden's breathing began to steady, though it was by no means stable. Grelle looked at Sebastian and made a face and he made one back at her that was just as dumbfounded. Grelle paused in her petting to look down at her pet.

"Hey, how about some fresh air, hm? Let's go outside for a little bit."

Auden lifted her head just enough to look at Grelle and nod weakly, so she helped her off the bed and supported her as they headed for the door—though it wasn't much work, she was so skinny.

"Sebastian, will you get my robe, please? And clean up the bed?"

He didn't need telling twice—giving a nod and departing the room immediately. Grelle ushered Auden up the stairs and out onto the balcony that overlooked the backyard, bringing her to a loveseat and sitting her down. Sebastian reappeared then and held out her robe. She took it from him.

"Thank you, love."

"I'll make tea."

Grelle nodded and he departed again. She made sure Auden was settled back against the cushions before putting on her robe and taking her once again under her wing. Shivering, the girl nestled her head against Grelle's shoulder and sniffed.

"Now, what got you so worked up, hm?" She rubbed her shoulder, but received no response, so she rested her head on top of Auden's. "…just talk when you're ready."

Auden was quiet for a very long time. Several cars went by on the street, but it was Mayfair, and Monday, and the middle of the night. Mostly everything was as quiet as she was. But Grelle was patient. A breeze blew by and was cold on her wet hair. Sebastian came back with a tray before Auden had said anything.

"How's your stomach? You want tea?" Grelle asked.

Auden nodded and Grelle helped her to sit forward while Sebastian poured. He held the cup and saucer out to her and the girl took it from him so carefully, like she was taking a bone away from a Doberman. Sebastian poured a cup for Grelle and held it out to her as well.

"Thank you." She sat back against the cushions and laughed. "Sebastian's had lots of practice, so he makes a great cup of tea."

Auden had lifted the cup to her lips and glanced over its rim at Grelle before taking a sip. She still didn't say anything, but she did drink deeply and the warmth seemed to relax her.

"Good?" Sebastian asked, looking at Grelle.

Grelle nodded. "Yes. Thank you."

"I'll be back in a moment."

He left the teapot and tray and the two of them on the balcony, probably to go and change the sheets on Auden's bed. Grelle sipped at her own cup, trying not to look at Auden, trying not to push her and be too overbearing. She looked out over the rows of houses of neighbors, over their little backyard.

"I don't—"

Grelle looked over and Auden stopped herself. Oh, how badly Grelle just wanted to smother her—or smack her, make her spit it out, she wasn't sure which—but she bit back the urge and just waited, smiling, looking like what she assumed was supportive. A minute or so passed before Auden drew in a breath and spoke again.

"I don't want to be here."

"Hm? What do you mean?" Here on the balcony? In Mayfair with herself and Sebastian? London? England in general?

"I want to be dead."

Oh. That. "I know, darling, but you can't be. This is just how it is."

"Why?"

Grelle laughed. "I don't know. I know as much as you in that regard."

"But you—you're happy."

"I wasn't always."

Auden looked at her lap, trembled. Grelle put a hand on her knee.

"It gets better, Auden. It really does."

The girl shook her head, disbelieving. Grelle could hardly blame her. Being a reaper was, technically, supposed to be punishment—collecting souls and watching death day in day out in exchange for taking your own life. The universe was rather cruel, wasn't it? How was Auden supposed to cope with it? Grelle had been nearly twice her age when she'd become a Shinigami and that had been hard. She couldn't imagine doing it at fourteen.

"Grelle?"

"Hm?"

"How did you do it?"

What a bold question. "Kill myself?"

Auden nodded.

"I took the pink bath."

Rolling up her sleeves, Grelle held out her arms to show her the near-invisible scars that zigzagged down from each wrist. "I thought it was rather noble at the time. Very Roman."

Auden nodded, processing. What a grim kid. Probably she'd make an excellent Shinigami, once she got over the screaming and crying and puking. Grelle thought she might share how she'd done it, but instead she just asked another question.

"Why?"

Bold again. "Oh, lots of reasons. It's never just one thing, is it? It's lots of little things, and they pile up and up and up until you think you're going to fall over the brink and then—tip. One last thing and you actually do."

Auden nodded, contemplating the idea but Grelle could see her thoughts turn to all the reasons why she had killed herself—whatever they may be—and her eyes drew back and went dark, blank. Grelle took her hand and she started.

"Whatever your life was, Auden, that's gone now. Whatever you wanted to escape, you've escaped it. All right? Yes, you're still alive, and yes, this new life is scary and strange, but it is a new life. You get to start over. I'll even overlook the fact that you tried to stab me with a spoon."

Auden's eyes flashed up at her, guilty, but Grelle smiled back and her expression softened. She even smiled a little herself, but it was soon replaced by sadness.

"I know you can't forget what happened to you," Grelle said, "and you shouldn't, but you can move forward. That's what I'm here to help you do, all right?"

Auden nodded, wiping tears from one eye. "All right."

Grelle smiled. "Good. You just relax. Drink your tea."


Auden did, eventually, calm down and Grelle helped her back down to her room and the clean new sheets Sebastian had made up the bed with. All those years as a butler had certainly made him one hell of a housekeeper, for which Grelle was endlessly grateful, not being so hot at all that domestic stuff herself.

Auden crawled into bed and completely collapsed. Poor little thing was pooped. She shut her eyes and was almost instantly asleep. Grelle sat down beside her and brushed her hair away from her face. The movement took a little of the tension out of Auden's shoulders, so Grelle continued to stroke her hair. A few minutes later, Auden was asleep.

"I'm going to stay here tonight," Grelle whispered to Sebastian. "I don't want to leave her alone."

"What are we going to do with her tomorrow?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"I suppose she'll have to come with us."

"Is she well enough for that?"

Grelle frowned. "What else can we do? I wouldn't trust her to anyone else but you, and we're both going to be at the gallery. She can't stay here by herself."

"Why isn't she healing?"

"She is. Look."

Grelle carefully lifted one of Auden's arms into the air and Sebastian came over to inspect it. There wasn't much to sneeze at, but it did look like she had a bit more meat on her bones than when they'd left Dispatch. She must have refused food for weeks to get her immortal body in this condition.

Grelle sighed as she looked at her. "I'm sorry, Sebastian."

"For what?"

"For doing this to you."

"Doing what?"

Grelle gestured at Auden. "This."

"Actually, I like her."

What? Shocked, Grelle looked up at him, her mouth open. He liked her? Grelle wasn't even sure if she liked her. She could empathize, obviously, and Auden needed her—oh, it was nice to be needed—but mostly the kid had been kind of a pain in the ass and Sebastian, who hated children in general, was claiming he liked her? What world was this?

"What?"

"I mean she's obviously damaged, and sort of a little shit, but I like her. Much more than I thought I would."

Grelle blinked. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I'm sorry, did someone hit you on the head? Were you abducted by aliens? What have you done with the real Sebastian?"

He laughed. "I'm serious."

"You like her?"

"Yes."

"Her?"

He laughed again. "Yes, Grelle. I like her."

Dumbfounded, Grelle just stared out over the room. "Well, that's good, then." She never would have thought she'd hear that from Sebastian. Then again, it was possible he'd missed having a small someone to take care of, though that didn't seem likely. She rested back against the headboard and shut her eyes. What a miserable long day. She'd never fall asleep like this.

"Go upstairs and sleep, Grelle. I'll stay up with her."

Could he read minds or something? She cracked open an eye to tell him no, that she was determined to stay, but a yawn caught her and her neck ached and all she wanted to do was go to bed. Auden would be safe with Sebastian.

"Thanks, love."

"No trouble. I'd be awake anyway."

Grelle eased herself off the bed, careful not to wake Auden and stretched once she was free. She was so stiff she might not even make it up the stairs.

"Goodnight, then. I'll see you in the morning."

Sebastian nodded and sat on the end of the bed. "I'll be here."

She walked over to him, placed her hands over his shoulders and he looked up at her expectantly, taking one of her hands in his own and waiting for her to speak.

"You like her?"

Sebastian laughed and pushed her toward the door. "Go to bed."