Oh my god. Is this really an update? Are your eyes deceiving you? Why no no. Your vision is perfectly fine. Akai after a year long hiatus has finally returned. And she brings with her crack plots to boot. But before i start new things i should probably finish the old, no?

If you forgot about this fic then dude go back to the very beginning and read it. It's funny! Especially the last chapter because Marlo thought it would be funny to include me as the groupie. Tee hee.

Anyway. On to the chapter. It's kind of short, but when do i seriously write long chapters? Never. That's when.

I disclaim.


It had been hours... so many bloody hours. Gaara's wrists were bleeding from struggling against the chains he was bound with. Why did they get him while he was sleeping? If he had regular clothes on he'd have weapons with him. Or at least a paperclip. Or a pencil!! Gaara could do so many things with a pencil. Like stab Neji in the kneecap.

"That's right! It's that bastards fault!" he reminded himself staring at his shoulder. That goblin looked pretty real by now... "You're insane" said a voice. Gaara looked at his shoulder goblin suspiciously. "You're real" he said wide eyed.

"Over here" said the voice. Gaara looked over and was faced with a man who had... gray skin?

"Dude why are you alive?" the redhead said looking awe-stricken. "What do you mean?" Orochimaru asked raising a brow. "Like... if i ever saw a kid with gray skin I'd just kill him."

"...Why?"

"Because he's bound to be evil, i mean... He has GRAY skin!"

"...Wow... Neji has weird taste" he said leaving the readhead to his goblin.

-Meanwhile-

Neji was creating a bloodbath at the entrance of Itachi's establishment. Once he was a bit calm he looked around to see if there was anyone alive. "You there" he said catching someone that was trying to silently sneak away. "Where is he?"

-A few minutes later-

Kankuro and the team he'd managed to complete stood at the entrance with raised eebrows. Who in the world did this? Lee ran up to the group and looked over the mess "oh! Neji must have gotten here first!"

"Neji?" they all said at once looking at each other. "Pay up" Shikamaru said suddenly causing Chouji to sigh and mutter something about Shikamaru being able to see into the future. "What's that all about?" Kiba asked. "Oh. When Neji transferred in Chouji said he was a vampire and i said he was a hunter."

-Back in the basement-

Sleep... the voice said gently. Gaara's vision was slowly beginning to blur. He'd been arguing with his goblin on the best way to escape for over an hour. But sleep seemed so welcoming right now...

What seemed like days later the redheads eyes slowly fluttered open. "You're finally awake" Neji said smiling at the boy in his arms. Gaara let out a silent scream and jumped away from the pointy-toothed rapist.

"Come on, we're down the hall from the bastards that kidnapped you" Gaara decided to put his hatred for the pale-eyed freak behind him for the time being. He still needed his revenge on Sasuke.

"Do you want a weapon?"

"Do you have a paperclip?"

"...No"

"How about a pencil?"

"I have a pen"

"That will do"

When he received the pen he stabbed Neji in the eye and then ran down the hall and burst into the last room. Itachi put a hand up to silence them "give me a minute!" he said staring intently at his television. "Neo Nazi's have peaceful protest? Britney Spears pregnant again? Opra Winfrey gives away hump back whales on her talk show???" he yelled wide eyed.

Kisame raised a brow at the screen "can't the government do something about that?"

"What, like blow up the TMZ headquarters?"

"No... though that's a good idea too. I meant like not allow people like that to reproduce"

"I have this whole plan on selective breading. These fools must stop spawning!"

Neji removed the pen from his eye and he and Gaara looked at one another and nodded. "On second thought... we'd like to join you guy's" Neji said causing Itachi to grin. "Glad to hear it! What are your measurements? We have special club cloaks cause we're cool like that!"

-Meanwhile in the basement-

Itachi and Orochimaru sat in front of the stonewall Gaara was chained to and shared some popcorn.

"I kind of like him" the Uchiha said shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth.

"He's pretty weird, yelling like that in his dreams. I wonder why he's giving out his measurements..."

"I don't know but we should keep him around for laughs"

"Ok"


That's it. I told you it was short, ne?

And in case i lost anyone there that whole last part in Itachi's room was Gaara dreaming. Neji and Gaara haven't joined them. Though that would be funny.

Review because it makes us happy. And once we get five reviews maybe Marlo will decide she wants to write the next chapter. And then you can finally read a long chapter. Because she's good at that.