Title: Empty Cafe
Author: ondragonflywing
Rating: K+
Character: Toby, Holly J
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Degrassi.
Warnings: Season Seven and Eight Spoilers
Summary: Holly J runs into an old "friend" while working at The Dot.
Table/Prompt: Size Matters-Ficlet-Lonely

I heard the bell over the door jingle as someone walked in. "Welcome to the Dot," I said in a bored tone without even looking up. I silently thanked whatever higher being was listening when the guest came and sat at the counter. I wouldn't have to do too much extra work this way.

"Holly J?" The tone sounded surprised…and familiar.

My head jerked around to face the voice I had heard moments before. "Toby?" I questioned back, trying to repress the smile that was forming, and then not having to try hardly at all as I remembered our last encounter.

The last time I had seen Toby, I had tried to say that I had changed my mind about him. I didn't think that he was a loser. I didn't think he was a geek. I didn't think he was a lost cause. I had changed my mind. I liked him. Instead I said something stupid and very Holly J about lowering my standards so that he had a chance with me. He had looked disgusted, shook his head at me and told me it was the wrong answer. I knew it was the wrong answer. I just had no idea how to say the right one.

That was my main problem. I never knew when to stop. I was trying so hard to be like my sister. To rule Degrassi. That I had no idea when to just let it all go and say and do the right things. I said and did whatever kept me on top. And those things usually aren't favorable. Those actions are what kept me so lonely all the time. Surrounded by people because they were afraid of me, not because they liked me. Having no real friends. And then when someone looks like they're about to chink through my armor, I have to open my big mouth and say something awful. Or do something awful. I'd done it to Anya, my one true friend. I did it to Toby. And more recently to Blue. He wanted to take me to a concert. My family lost all their money. I lied to his face, said I didn't want to go with him, to keep the secret that I couldn't afford to pay for the ticket.

I was pretty sure I was destined to be alone.

"The one and only," Toby announced with a grin,"See you haven't stopped keeping the smile from your face." At my eye rool he said,"How've you been?" He gave a questioning look to our surroundings, the fact that I was working at the Dot, or better yet, working at all. I was Holly J Sinclair, after all.

"I've been fine," I said to him, moving towards the counter, beginning to wipe it down as I continued to speak,"Decided to branch out. A little life experience will look good to colleges. Teach me about…something." I shrugged as if it was something my parents had fed me, that I hadn't really listened to. "How about you?"

"I've been good. I've been hosting this tv show from time to time. And going to college," Toby answered me. This sliced deeply. How could a nerd like Toby have so much going for him, but me, someone who had only a few short months had everything going for them suddenly have nothing? And worse yet, no one to really care that they had nothing. "How's Spirit Squad?" he asked, and from the look on his face, you could tell that he thought he did good with that question. It was the only time I ever smiled, he used to tease me, while I was cheering on Spirit Squad.

"I quit," I told him,"Mia was always trying to take over. And you know me. I don't take orders from anyone." He gave me a doubtful expression, but I ignored it. "How's school in the states?" I asked. He ahd been accepted to the University of New York and had decided to go. See he has everything, including the fashion Mecca at his fingertips.

"It's good," he said with a nod. I could tell that he wasn't completely lying, but he wasn't completely telling me the truth. I raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at him. "Lonely," he admitted.

"I know the feeling," I muttered before I could stop myself and that comment made him look intrigued. I raised both of my eyebrows in a perfect look of you didn't hear that because I didn't say anything.

He shrunk back and said,"I'll take a coffee." I nodded and got it for him. He took it and backed away from the counter. "Good to see you Holly J," he said, but it didn't sound completely sincere.

Again, I had a perfect Holly J moment. Instead of saying it was good to see Toby, I had lashed out. And had lost the possibility of a much needed friend. Who cared if he was a geek?

As the door closed, I sighed. Going back to tending the empty café, by myself.