But I AM Madara! – Yes, I Would
A/N: Bloody hell! Over 100 reviews! I never thought I'd see the day where one of my stories gets so many of them. You guys are really awesome, thanks a lot! :)
Some of you were confused about how past events remained the same, e.g. the fight at the VoE between Madara and Hashirama, although Madara is in the future so I will try to explain it. Well, in the last chapter Madara speculated that the reason might be that a part of him remained in the past, while he, the rest, went to the future, so that through the time travel he somehow split up. If that's the true reason remains to be seen (mainly because I still have no clue). Sorry if that hadn't been clear.
And because someone asked for it and perhaps some of you are wondering about it too, here are the ages of the characters:
Madara – 13 years old
Itachi – 12 years old
Shisui – 15 years old
Naruto& rest of the Rookie Nine– around 7 years old
The setting of this story is one year, give or take a few months, prior to the Massacre, meaning that Itachi is already part of the ANBU and working as a double-spy. Though I'm still not very sure about the pre-Manga timeline, some things are still confusing the hell out of me.
Warning: Great amount of Uchiha-angst at its finest
Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it^^
Oh and I'm glad that people don't seem to mind the fact that Madara gained the Mangekyo as much as I thought.
What am I supposed to do?
That thought kept floating in is mind, but for all his genius Madara simply couldn't find an answer to it. He wasn't even sure if he should bother at all. After all, everything which he had been supposed to do, which he had strived to do, was gone. Absolutely and totally gone, somewhere lost in the past which without his knowledge had already taken its course and as much as he wanted to was now impossible to change.
Slowly, he rose, deciding that, while it sounded appealing, sitting under the tree, until he found a solution, wasn't the best option. His eyes still felt wet so he rubbed against his eyes, only to discover that his hand was suddenly drenched in blood.
He was too emotionally drained to feel the appropriate shock and panic at the fact that his eyes had been bleeding. Eyes were the Uchiha's tool one had to defend with his life and even after it one had to ensure that it didn't land in enemies' hands. All the lessons were deeply ingrained in his mind, the way it had been in every Uchiha's head (Madara didn't know if it was still the case).
If something threatens to destroy your eyes, be it acid or a kunai, sacrifice your hand to protect it. It's your greatest tool and thus a target for your enemies. Nothing of you, not even your life, is as important as your Sharingan eyes.
It's the strongest tool and the greatest weakness to the clan in the wrong hands and your life fades in importance if compared to the safety of the clan. The clan continues to exist, even with a brave warrior less. But it will face great danger, if even one Sharingan is taken.
If taken captive or certain about your demise by the hands of the enemy, not only are you required to take your life, as is the custom for shinobi, but you must also destroy your Sharingan, so that it will be unable to be retrieved and used by the enemy.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The power granted to you by the Sharingan will make you a true member of the Uchiha clan, worthy to wear the crest, the fan, tamer of the fire, but it will also make you a shield to protect that power, a burden you have to take.
Never forget that.
In his opinion it was an honor to do so, a risk gladly taken and a price happily paid in exchange for the possession of the Sharingan. He liked how the words sounded, powerful, meaningful, nothing to wonder or misunderstand about. Even if they basically said that your life is trash compared to your eyes and that your life would become even more dangerous once you get your hands on them and make sure that other hands wouldn't do so too. After all, it made completely sense to him and how could one disagree if that's what everyone had told you since your birth and which was what everyone in the clan believed to be right and just. And Uchiha rarely made mistakes, especially the clan as a whole.
Madara smiled faintly. His old man had made sure that he definitely wouldn't forget. His smile quickly faltered though. Upon knowing these rules, he should have felt horror that those precious eyes of him were bleeding but he only took it with a shrug.
He felt simply too tired to also worry about that. If anything, it was probably a sign of how great his grief is. It somehow suited. Tears of blood. A hollow laugh escaped his throat. And after he began to laugh, he simply couldn't stop that foreign yet so familiar sound of laughter.
So much for him trying to remain sane, unlike his adult counterpart.
"Madara?" a voice hesitantly called.
Startled, Madara whirled around. Apparently, he had been so deeply engrossed in his dark musings that he didn't even noticed the appearance of another person.
It was Naruto with his blond hair, weird whiskers and those bright blue eyes looking at him with something akin to confusion, worry and shock.
He couldn't blame the boy. Laughing manically, a hand drenched in blood and taints of bloody tears still on his cheeks would unsettle even grown men, not to mention a little boy.
"What are you doing here?" Madara asked, sharper than he had intended to do.
Naruto flinched slightly at the harsh tone but quickly caught himself. In a steady voice he asked, determination glittering in his eyes: "I wanted to see ya again cos I was done cleaning. So I searched for you reaaally long. And then…then I saw you crying and then laughing." The blond looked worriedly at him. "Are you alright?"
Madara wanted to be left alone with his problems. What right had this brat to inquire? They barely knew each other so why should he spit out all of his problems, the cause of his pain and sadness? What use would it be to him if he did in fact told Naruto? The boy couldn't provide him any comfort, that dense, bright, cheeky blond wouldn't understand him. Wouldn't understand the pain of losing everyone, the pain one felt at the realization that one was utterly alone in this godforsaken world.
"Get lost, Naruto! That's none of your business!" he snapped angrily, hoping that the boy would finally leave him be. No such luck. If possible it only strengthened the boy's resolve to stay.
"I thought we were friends!" Naruto shouted in his usual obnoxiously loud voice, though his expression was somber. "We laughed, had fun, pranked people, painted the Hokage heads. Ain't that stuff friends are doing? Iruka-sensei told me that friends have to help each other too and if you're crying you need help," he said reasonably, it sounded very logical to his child mind.
"Who ever said that we were friends?" Madara sneered, only feeling the slightest pang of guilt at Naruto's dismayed expression. This time he didn't apologize. If he was honest to himself, he'd admit that it even made him feel a bit better. To have people feel pain too so that they could understand what he was going through. Sad faces were so much more bearable than bright ones, laughing mockingly at his misery. It w-
A sharp pain erupted in his stomach when a tiny fist hit as hard as the owner of said fist could. His widened, startled eyes met those of Naruto's angry and disappointed ones which were moist from unshed tears. "I knew it!" the boy yelled, pointing his finger accusingly at Madara who was lying on the ground, moaning quietly and rubbing his aching stomach. That boy had one hell of a punch!
"You're just like the others! No you're even worse! You're a liar! You only did as if you're my friend so that ya can say now that you ain't! So that you can laugh at me because I believed you, say that I'm stupid!" At this point the tears were rolling down with no restraint. Clearly, it had been his first time that someone would backstab him in such a way.
Telling him that they had a present for Naruto, only for it to turn out as some kind of junk, wasn't something new for Naruto. But outright pretending to be his friend, only to bluntly ask him to his face when he would have gotten the impression that they were actually friends… well, that was something entirely new to Naruto.
That little hope which had slowly grew somewhere in his chest and had made his insides feel all warm and fluffy was brutally ripped into tiny, tiny pieces. Naruto had never felt that disappointed before in his life. But that disappointment quickly turned into fury. Usually, he'd prank the person in question in revenge but that wasn't an usual case. The older boy before him had done something Naruto couldn't forgive.
So not caring for the possible consequences of his actions, not caring that jiji might look at him with these sad, disappointed eyes or that Iruka-sensei might yell at him or that the villagers would whisper among each other, saying 'as expected of that child', Naruto lunged at Madara, with his hands clenched into fists. Scowling, he looked down to the teme who looked baffled.
Madara froze as he heard Naruto's exclamation. And he didn't even try to stop the boy when he dashed at him, clearly intending to attack him. How could he have forgotten? That boy was hated by the village and that loneliness and sadness in his eyes, carefully veiled by his bright and happy behavior… he had seen peeks of it and he was aware that Naruto was hiding much more of it from the eyes of the people. Yet, he selfishly had thought that the boy was happy, that he wasn't in pain because of how lonely he felt. To make it worse, he had been the one to deliberately make the pain of Naruto who had done nothing but try to help him grow even bigger.
Right now he felt like the greatest jerk ever and suddenly it didn't seem as farfetched as it had been before that he might have snapped and went on a killing spree. Look at what he had done when he was feeling so much anguish. At least, he hadn't seen any of them dying before his eyes. So what if he had, what if his adult self had watched countless of his fellow clan members die, even when he was supposed to take care of them as the clan head or what if…Izuna had died before his very own eyes, him being drenched in his own brother's blood, unable to tear his gaze away from his brother's empty and dull gaze?
Had that happened to him? Was it because of that that he had changed so much that he could barely recognize himself? Could he truly turn into something as evil and monstrous as his future self had been, because of the loss he had experienced?
And a part of him, even though he wanted to deny it, said in a voice as clear as broken glass: Yes, I would.
Knowing the possible reason what might have prompted his change made him, instead of feeling understanding or horrified, only nauseous. While Madara had been thinking and coming to the horrible conclusion, he had barely registered the punches delivered by Naruto who was sitting on top of him, punching his fists furiously against his chest. They lacked the first punch's strength and ferocity. It felt more as though Naruto was futilely and desperately trying to lash out not at him but at the unfairness of it all, the unfairness he had to experience in this cruel, cruel world.
He was really an idiot for thinking that Naruto out of all people couldn't understand him and his current situation. As the blond raised his fist to punch Madara again, he grabbed Naruto's wrist midway when it had already descended, making Naruto scowl at the sudden resistance and punch with the other hand, which was also stopped by Madara.
Before Naruto could so much as yell at him or try to aim for his sensitive spot again, Madara rose, now being in a sitting position, making Naruto tumble to the ground, and pulled the blond into a bear hug,
Naruto tensed at the sudden body contact. The only one who did that was jiji and he liked him. That Madara dude definitely didn't belong to his rather short list of people he genuinely cared about and didn't mind being hugged by. He'd have long struggled out of the embrace if it weren't for the fact that the arms wrapped around him were as tight as a grip made out of iron. He scowled, trying his utmost best at ignoring that little part of him, which was but a little, lonely and frightened boy, which enjoyed the hug and the surprisingly warmth exuded by the Uchiha and which wanted to snuggle even closer up against him. Jiji wasn't as warm as him.
Madara frankly had no idea what possessed him to give the boy a hug. The last time he had offered that sort of comfort had been when the last of his elder brothers had died in battle. At this time Izuna had been big enough to realize that he'd never see their big brother again and had cried and cried. Not knowing what to do, he had done the same thing his long deceased mother had done, when he had been little and very sad: he had hugged him. And for some very strange reason, it had not only comforted his little brother but himself. Just as it was in this case too.
The sight of these two boys was perhaps even more bizarre than that of their very first encounter. The two of them embracing each other, drawing comfort out of the other's presence. And somehow, something inside of them was repaired and fixed a little.
It was strange indeed, that those two boys would from this day on share a bond of mutual understanding. Trust and true friendship would come later but nevertheless the fact that this encounter, this…bonding was miraculous, unexpected, wonderfully impossible remained.
In another place, in another time, those two boys would have faced each other for the first time far later, on opposite sides. They would have been as different as day and night and to only suggest that there was something akin to mutual understanding between them would have been laughable and ridiculous, something to quickly dismiss. Not in this time or place though.
After what felt like a blink of an eye, yet felt like an eternity at the same time, they simultaneously broke apart and equally simultaneously both of them leapt to their feet, staring into each other's eyes.
"I'm sorry," Madara finally said. "I just had a very shitty day," he sighed, running his hand nervously through his messy hair.
Naruto nodded in apparent understanding. "Yeah, I had one too." And then pulled a face.
Seeing that, Madara cracked a smile which made the blond in turn smile one of his overly bright grins. Then he hit Madara squarely in his face, making him stumble. Rubbing the bruised spot on his face, Madara reluctantly admitted: "I supposed I deserved that one."
"'Course you do!" Naruto agreed loudly, his grin now positively splitting his face in half.
"Don't push your luck," Madara mock-growled, giving him one of his finest Uchiha glares which only served for Naruto to stick out his tongue.
And just like that their friendship had overcome its first obstacle.
o~O~o
Maybe he was getting too old for this job. Of course, Fugaku was nowhere near as old as Sarutobi but that old man had been supposed to retire for a long time. Unfortunately, none of his sons were in any shape or form ready to inherit the position as the clan head or the police chief (the latter was officially not a position meant to be heritable but as it was in most cases, in reality or unofficially it was).
The murderer had been successfully caught, thanks to a drip of blood which had been far too wide away from the corpse and where most of the blood was spilled and had drawn a keen-eyed Uchiha officer's attention who had come to the conclusion that it might be the murderer's blood as things pointed out to the fact there had been some sort of struggle between the victim and the perpetrator, the former probably managing to hurt his killer before his death. After a quick blood test and comparing the results to already existing files of past criminals, they had luckily found a matching file and discretely they had headed to the suspect's supposed location. The supposed murderer had been charged for attempted murder once but had somehow escaped his deserved punishment with only having to spend half a year in prison. The main suspect was only a civilian though so it had been easy to incapacitate him and then put him under a Genjutsu with the Sharingan, drawing the vital information out of him.
Seeing as the man clearly did not know of any methods against Genjutsu, the information was soon out, proving that the man was indeed the perpetrator, as he knew things only the murderer could know of. The victim's family had been notified and the man put in prison until a proper punishment was decided and yet again another case file could be put in the shelf of solved cases.
It was only then that he realized that he had just used several methods to solve the case which could also easily deal with his problem concerning the boy's identity and the validity of the boy's claims.
As soon as his shift was over (if it wasn't an absolute emergency, he'd never leave earlier and call it a day) he'd go find that boy and drag him to the KMPF headquarters and run a blood test and a memory check and if it was truly confirmed that the boy was who he claimed, well, one problem less, only another hundred more to go.
However, if that didn't work, he might have to rely on the torture and investigation force to get the necessary information out of the boy. The clan head was reluctant to do so, however, if he wished for their help, they'd ask of him what the purpose was.
Lying to them would be foolish and might very badly backfire. And he definitely didn't need Konoha's higher-ups to become even more suspicious of him when they heard that he had lied to the torture and interrogation force or that he seemed to withhold information, which as a fact he was trying to do.
It was bad enough that the Hokage already knew of the boy's existence but it couldn't be avoided if he wanted to use the boy the way he had in mind, for the boy to become a true Leaf nin, the Hokage must approve of this. The only other alternative would be Danzo and his ROOT and hell would freeze over before Fugaku even thought of associating himself with that fork-tongued old fox.
So it also couldn't be avoided that eventually the whole village would hear the news of the arrival of a new Uchiha. A bastard, no doubt, they'd think. And wouldn't it be just lovely if the Uchiha clan would become the main topic of the village's gossip again because of that.
However, he had asked the Hokage to keep quiet about the boy's supposedly true origins as, although it was only Fugaku's guess and attempt to subtly convince the Hokage, Madara didn't want his clan's existence to be known in public. Technically, not a lie as that would be the most likely explanation as to why a clan as powerful as the Uchiha (and he doubted that this other clan's power had weakened in strength since the split, if the boy's abilities were any indication) was not even known in one of the great hidden ninja villages. Luckily, the Hokage agreed to his request, though he wished to perhaps talk with that Uchiha clan to diplomatically ask for a possible alliance, which would be either good or bad for his plans, depending if the other clan had still enough clan loyalty to help and go along with the coup or would remain true to their alliance with the Leaf and become part of the forces which would fight against them.
So seeing the possible outcomes of such an alliance, Fugaku rather wished for no alliance at all. If the situation ever came that the Hokage would be in the position to have a diplomatic talk with the other clan head, he'd somehow have to sway it to his clan's advantage, meaning yet even more things he'd have to rack his brains again. Great.
But returning to the current issue at hand, Fugaku definitely didn't want for any outsiders to know about the important information the boy might hold. If the torture and interrogation force knew, chances were that in half a day that thrice damned council and the Hokage would know too and he'd rather avoid that if possible as he might be able to use that information against the village in the future and perhaps, to come back to the other issue, sway the other clan to his cause.
And he had great faith in his men's abilities, surely he wouldn't even find himself in the position to seriously consider the force's help, right? Then he remembered that incident (involving glitter, pink hair dye, a certain brat and many shattered dignities) and suddenly he wasn't too sure anymore. Maybe, lady luck would take pity on him and let everything go according to plan…
Right now Fugaku felt very old and tired.
o~O~o
At the shore of a river, sometime in the past, a boy was laughing hard, having to clutch his aching sides. That expression Madara wore when he got smacked by the stone! Hashirama bit his lip to not burst into laughter again.
It were times like these that he wished that he was a proficient artist so that he could draw that expression and look at the painting whenever he needed a good laugh, which admittedly happened to be quite often recently.
Only then did he realize that Madara was nowhere in sight.
"Madara?" he called. No answer. Frowning, he searched for any signs of his best friend in the surroundings, only to have his efforts proven futile.
But how was that possible? His friend had been right beside him only seconds ago before he was suddenly gone (as far as he could tell because immediately after the 'incident' he had been too busy laughing his ass off).
Hashirama decided to wait, in hopes that his friend was simply calming down somewhere and would quickly return, after he had done so. A hour passed, according to the position of the sun. Even hot-tempered Madara wouldn't need so much time to calm down.
The Uchiha had probably decided to head back home altogether, not wanting to hear his annoying laughter (which he naturally had done on purpose) any second more and would come back tomorrow.
With this in mind Hashirama headed back home too, making a mental note to himself to not tease his friend too much about this 'stone incident'. He snickered, alright, change of plans, he'd mercilessly tease the Uchiha boy as soon as he caught sight of him again.
Madara didn't come next day. Maybe he was still feeling too embarrassed to show his face.
A week passed and yet there was no sight of his Uchiha friend. Alright, something was definitely off and he was going to find out what.
o~O~o
It was strange what sort of effect Naruto had on him. One moment he felt ready to give up entirely, feeling like he could never experience happiness again, the next he felt, dare he say, something akin to hope, that maybe life in Konoha wouldn't be too bad, that the clan would accept him as one of their own and that he could get along with the villagers and find friends (Naruto, he thought, he could consider as one, despite the bruises).
The pain of losing his real clan and family and his friends would stay with him as long as he lived but it didn't threaten to bury him under its weight anymore. Seriously, Naruto could do a living out of it, helping people like that.
It was slowly getting dark and Madara had told Naruto to go home, telling him that they could meet tomorrow at the same spot to which Naruto quickly agreed before he bounced away. He cleaned his eyes so that no blood taints remained on his cheeks and eyes.
He then made his way to the KMPF headquarters as he could only remember where that building was but had forgotten how to get to the house, his home now, he quickly corrected himself. To his luck, Fugaku was still there so he impatiently waited for the clan head to call it a day and go home with him.
He waited for two hours, in which none of the other Uchiha bothered to talk to him, maybe because they didn't know what to make of him, when finally he caught sight of Fugaku and quickly went to him.
"Well, what a coincidence that we meet, now we can go home together!"
Fugaku obviously wasn't fooled, instead he looked at him pensively."I'd like for you to go inside so that we can…check something."
"Can't it wait until tomorrow. I'm tired as hell!" Madara groaned. He wasn't but after everything which had happened he didn't want to deal with that right now.
Well, it seemed that the boy had recovered from whatever it was the boy had been bothered by the last time they had met. Fugaku couldn't deny how his eyelids were about to drop so he agreed, albeit reluctantly and together they made their way back home.
When they arrived, it was already dark and as soon as they went inside, they were greeted by a woman with long, dark hair. She gave Fugaku a questioning look and he slightly inclined his head, confirming the unspoken question.
"Well, you must be Madara! I'm glad to have you as my son. Please be quiet, Itachi and Sasuke-kun are already sleeping, as they have to wake up early tomorrow."
Sasuke for the Academy and Itachi for yet another mission, despite him only recently returning from one. Mikoto was naturally worried about her eldest son but had to keep quiet, Itachi was, after all, the clan's heir and it was expected of him to work hard and long, as much as it pained her to admit that.
That boy, however, whose name strangely enough happened to be the same as their famous ancestor, Madara, was suspicious, to say the least. Although her husband had told her of his reasons (and she was glad that Fugaku finally saw reason and recognized that Itachi, as much of a genius as he was, couldn't take all of this pressure anymore) she thought it was reckless to have a foreigner with most likely dubious motives live in their house, alongside with her sons, especially little Sasuke, who had only recently started to train as a ninja.
Despite her protests, her husband wouldn't budge and knowing how stubborn he could be and that as the clan head he had the final say, she finally relented, albeit reluctantly.
But that didn't mean that Mikoto was happy about that. So behind her welcoming and warm façade, she warily scrutinized the boy before her, using her slightly rusty ninja skills to search for any hints of threat he might pose.
The boy must have noticed, as he fidgeted nervously, although he was trying to keep his expression blank. Her expression softened. He couldn't have been much older than Itachi.
"Would the two of you like to eat something?" she softly inquired.
Fugaku shook his head. "No. I shall go to my room now."
Which meant that he was too tired to eat anything and that he wanted to go to bed as soon as he could, Mikoto nodded understandingly. The only reason for this farce was that he didn't want to show any weaknesses before the boy.
She turned to Madara. "And what about you?"
The boy looked startled but he quickly recovered. "Hn. I don't feel like eating anything but thank you."
Once again Mikoto nodded, acting like the dutiful housewife she was supposed to be. "I have prepared your room, Madara-kun. There are no personal items of yours inside as you don't have any in your possession as far as I know, though I still tried to make it as comfortable as I could. Have a good night and please do not hesitate to ask if there is a problem."
"Thanks," Madara muttered, looking slightly embarrassed, his face flushed. A genuine smile tucked on her lips and she chuckled quietly, perhaps, she was just being paranoid, though she would still keep an eye open. What was the saying again? Better safe than sorry.
o~O~o
Madara stared blankly at the ceiling, lying in his bed. It was hard to believe that only a day and a half or so ago he had been having a staring competition with Hashirama. It felt like an eternity, as though it had been a part of another life. He sighed, unlike yesterday, sleep wouldn't come that easily to him.
So much was gone, so much had changed. For instance, he now seemed to have something similar to a caring mother. He seriously didn't know how he was supposed to act, his mother had passed away shortly after giving birth to Izuna (he had stopped blaming his little brother for his mother's death for a long time, it was hard not to if you had to take care of your infant brother and being cruel to said brother felt like kicking a puppy, then throwing it into a fire and eat the remains of it).
It had been a long time that someone had cared for him that way. Madara was sure that having to be cared for was a sign of weakness and he'd rather gouge out his eyeballs with a rusty kunai than admitting weakness because of a woman. But he certainly didn't want to harshly reject her for her efforts to make him feel at home, that was if he would ever be able to.
He sighed. Was that divine punishment for the crimes his adult form had done? If it was, the punishment was fairly effective. Very torturing and scarring to his mental psyche indeed.
Madara closed his eyes, he'd have to think positive…like his friend Hashirama would have been if put in his shoes. There was a slight pang of pain as he recalled that his friend was dead and had most likely only felt animosity towards him until his death.
No, think positive. He had a friend, Naruto, who sort of reminded him of Hashirama. The clan was still there, even if he knew none of its faces. He also sort of had a family, supposedly a grumpy father, two brothers and a…mother. Not too bad, even if they could never replace his true family.
Then there was the fact that he'd become extremely powerful, even if he had went insane later on. Not only did he seem to be famous, even after a century, which in the shinobi world to be still remembered meant that he must be some kind of legend, but he had also managed to control the Kyuubi!
Granted, the way he had put that ability to use was disgusting and horrible but if one looked at the ability only, well, it was sort of…awesome and cool, for lack of better word, to have the most powerful bijuu do his very bidding. At that time, he had simply been unable to appreciate this fact because of…well, obvious reasons.
And hey, if he could become as strong as his future self had managed to, without turning insane in the process, the future might not turn out too bad. And while he wasn't exactly religious, he might be able to see his clan and his friend in the afterlife again…
And with that in thought, Madara slowly drifted off into peaceful slumber.
A/N: Yes, even as a boy Madara was a little sexist, though that might change later. And did I say that this chapter would be lighthearted? Uh, sorry, I should really not make any promises about the future plot. And if you felt that Madara was channeling Sasuke at some parts, well, I thought it would fit Madara.
And because I know that some people really wanted it, I let Hashirama have a short appearance in this chapter, yes, it's rather short and it might take a time until he will find some clues and/or have a real appearance in the major plot, so please be patient because as of now he would simply not fit into the current plot.
No real action, I know, and I'm really sorry but it will soon come, hopefully, perhaps.
As always, if you could spare some time, please review, they motivate and help me a lot :)
