A/N – This chapter refers to another of my stories "Reflections". You don't need to read it to understand this chapter, but it might help.
Matt and Emily
Becker had gone to see Matt to apologise for his behaviour and to explain. When Matt heard about Jess's pregnancy it all became clear. He remembered how he'd felt when he'd found out about Gideon's existence. "You got your head straight now Mate?"
"Yeah Matt, I think I finally have." Becker gave his friend a sheepish grin. "Are we good?"
"Yeah, we're good. And you'd better say thanks to Corporal Davies for not only saving your arse, but keeping his mouth shut about it when he could have had major bragging rights throughout the ARC."
"Davies?" A strange look passed briefly over Becker's face. 'How strange, the same name as the Sergeant who saved Dad - weird how things go like that.' he thought.
"Yeah Matt, I'll be sure to thank him and put a commendation on his record. He surpassed himself that day, especially as he's only just deployed to the ARC. If he keeps performing like that he'll go far."
"Yep, one to keep an eye on. I'm glad you're sorted mate. And congratulate Jess for me. She'll be great. When are you breaking the good news to everyone?"
"We thought on Friday, if you can keep it quiet till then. Jess wants to announce it and have the opportunity to take everyone out to celebrate, anomalies permitting."
"Sounds great. I'll try not to let slip to Emily. See you tomorrow Captain."
"Yeah, see you tomorrow Team Leader."
Matt was relieved to have Becker back on the team and back on his game. It hadn't felt right going out in the field without their stalwart Captain backing them up.
-0-0-
The idea of a video diary appealed to Matt. Gideon was six months old, but it wasn't too late to start telling him about his Old Man. That evening found Matt on the computer for his first video log.
"Hello Gideon." There was a long pause as Matt looked uncomfortably at the screen. This was going to be harder than he thought. "You need to know that it's really hard for me to talk about myself and my feelings. I was trained from an early age to keep everything secret. It was really important that people didn't know much about me." Matt thought about the years of rigorous training with his Father and the ARC instructors at the bunker and in the various shelters. How he was taught to keep everything hidden, even his emotions and how he had it drummed into him to keep the Mission secret. No-one was to be trusted.
"This is going to sound weird if you don't know already, but I'm not from your time. I was born on 15th March 2114. My little sister died when I was six and my mother died when I was eight. The world was already dying by then."
"You see the world I come from had been destroyed by a very stupid man. He was tricked into doing something really awful and he then tricked a very good friend of mine into helping him. He thought he was saving the world. Instead this thing he did made the air and water poisonous so that everything died, even the trees and the people. And there were these horrible creatures from the future that killed everything that was left. I started training when I was eight years old to come back in time with my Father and try to put things right – to stop these awful things from happening to the Earth. It was very secret and no-one was allowed to know."
"My Father, your Grandpa Gideon, was very sick and he died a short time after we arrived so I was all alone to save a whole world. Because I was from the future, my whole life story had to be made up. It wasn't a lie exactly, it was more like make believe. I had to pretend I was from this time so that I could get a job at the ARC and find out who was going to destroy the world. I had to hide my feelings and as much about myself as I could so people couldn't find out I was pretending. I wasn't supposed to make friends, just be there boss, but the team were such fantastic people I couldn't help but make friends with them. I still couldn't tell them the truth. The first person I ever told was your Mammy."
'And she went back to her pig of a husband and was nearly committed to protect me and my Mission' thought Matt bitterly. That moment, of Emily walking back through the anomaly because he couldn't risk the distraction, would haunt him until his dying day. Matt's mind swung to the meeting in Lester's office. Thank heavens they'd believed him. He would have ended it all if Emily hadn't come back and he'd failed. He could never have done it alone.
"In the end, the Mission was too big to do on my own so I got my friends to help. Your Uncles Connor, Becker and Lester and your Aunties Abby and Jess were really brave and helped me and your Mammy stop the bad man and make everything right."
Matt thought about that last statement. He really hoped that what they had done had made things right. Everything looked OK in the current time. There appeared to be no serious after effects and the anomalies still existed, seemingly unchanged by the events of New Dawn. There just hadn't been one to the future so they could check and they certainly weren't going to make one. Shaking himself he looked back at the screen. But what of the vision of himself he had seen? He hoped that was the residue of the psychological programming he had received to self-terminate during those last rigorous years of training – a final nudge to complete ALL his tasks.
"I was trained for so many years not to tell anyone anything, even how I really felt, that sometimes I might have a hard time telling you how much I love you. I don't know if you have brothers and sisters, but you need to know that I love you all very much and you're more important than the world to me." Matt paused to compose himself. This was really hard.
Taking a deep breath, he continued "So I come from the future, and because I've changed everything I may not be born now. Your Grandpa Gideon may never meet your Grandma Julia and even if they do meet and get married, they may not have a son called Matt. It's sort of hard to think that I may never exist when I know that I do because I'm here. It's called a paradox. But then we're a family of paradoxes."
"You see, your Mammy's not from this time either. You can search for her on the internet if you like. Her name was Lady Emily Merchant and she was born in 1842 in Buckinghamshire. She was married before but her husband died and before you ask no, she didn't have children before she had you." Matt gave a little laugh and smiled at the thought. "She came through to this time by accident and we met and fell in love. So actually we were born nearly three hundred years apart. Just think about that. Me and you Mammy should never have been able to meet, but we did and now we have you. You were named after your Grandpa Gideon and your other Grandpa John. They were born nearly three hundred years apart too. See, another paradox."
"So that makes you and your brothers and sisters completely unique in this world. You, my son, are a wonderful anomaly in time."
-0-0-
Emily was intrigued by the idea of recording her thoughts onto a computer rather than in a journal. She had kept a journal when she was a child. It was expected and served as good practise for self-discipline and calligraphy. It also allowed the nanny to keep track of her thoughts and correct any abhorrent behaviour.
The idea of talking to her infant son, so that one day he could watch her in her youth was fascinating. So she asked Matt to configure a separate profile for her so that she too could record messages to her child.
"Good evening Gideon. I hope that this finds you well and that you are not misbehaving. I wanted to tell you about myself, where I come from and how I came to meet your Father. It is a fascinating story full of monsters and heroes, strange worlds and time portals. I am quite sure that you will thoroughly enjoy it. But first I have some very important things to tell you."
"I know your Father has told you that I was born in another place a very long time ago. It was a very different time from now. People treated each other harshly and only very rich and powerful men had any rights. It was a very hard time to be a woman, even with money and position, but it was an even harder time to be poor."
"Even in my time, few children went to school and many worked in order to help feed their families. There were few doctors and hospitals, and none of the wonderful things you have today like television and computer games – have I said that correctly? Your Uncle Connor always tells me I get these things wrong."
"The differences are so many between then and now that I will ask you to look up on the internet what it was like in Victorian England because then you will see the world I grew up in. If you have any questions you may ask me and I will explain. But you must understand that, despite all the changes to your clothing and possessions, people do not change in the essentials. Some are wicked and some are greedy, some are weak and need our help while some are kind and heroic. I know that your Father has told you that you are unique. That is true, but it simply means that you have an even greater responsibility to help others."
"Have faith in yourself and your instincts because they will normally be correct. Be kind to others and protect those weaker than yourself. Never take anything for granted. You live in a world of great privilege and freedom, but both your Father and I have seen worlds where these things do not exist. Show respect to others and when you love, love truly."
"You are my son and I love you. If you are even half the man your Father is, you will make me extremely proud. Goodnight my dear boy and sleep well. I will speak to you again presently."
Emily hit the key to stop the recording and gave a small smile of satisfaction. Matt came over and wrapped his arms around her.
"I am quite satisfied with my first attempt at a video journal. I look forward to telling him stories of my adventures."
"Not all your adventures I hope." Matt whispered, kissing her neck before he pulled her to her feet. "Come on Precious. Bed."
tbc
Well I think that's enough angst. Anyone for some fluff, oh and Lester?
Please be kind enough to let me know what you think.
