Your bank account has got insufficient funds
We can't afford to give up
We gotta make our own luck and it goes oh
Chrissy's POV:
Mel wasn't home so Lennox and I were playing Just Dance ON THE Wii
"Lennox, Chrissy, what is this?" Mel asked us
"Oh it's awesome, wanna play with us it's called Just Dance" Lennox said
"We need the TV, just move" Mel said
"You can't" Lennox said
"And yet" Mel said before picking up the remote and changing the channel
"Watch this is one of the greatest moments of my life, that I can talk about to minors" Mel said as she wrapped an arm around Lennox and I
"Your aunt was the driving force of the new humane animal shelter project and the council president's about to talk about how awesome and wonderful and kind and generous-" Stephanie said, that kiss ass
"Shut it it's on" Mel said and we all looked at the screen
"Thank you ladies and gentlemen for being here. We're here to announce that city is committing funding for two new animal shelters here in Toledo. I'd like to thank naturally my beautiful wife Sylvia, my staff members Erica and Martin and of course the little dynamo who was the inspiration for it all…" he said
"Ooh I like that, little dynamo that could be my rap name" Mel said
"My dog Poncho" He said as he brought the puppy on the stage, it's so cute
"And…?" Mel said
"I think he's all done Mel" Dad said
"No he's not done, he can't be done that can't be it" Mel said
"Well that's it thanks everybody" He said and Mel was in shock
"Yep he's done" I said.
"He thanked his dog?! What does a dog have to do with an animal shelter? Oh this bites" Mel said sitting on the couch
"Well a dog is an animal" I mumbled loud enough for people to hear
"Aunt Mel, you know what would really take your mind off this terrible, terrible injustice" Lennox said as she put on Just Dance which played 'Who Let The Dogs Out' and we started doing the sprinkler
"Stephanie smash the TV" Mel said and Stephanie went to smash the TV with her purse when dad stopped her
"Oh no" Dad said when he caught her and pulled her away from the TV literally he picked her up and dragged her away.
After that we were in the kitchen I was at the table next to Ryder, Stephanie was on the other side of Ryder, Lennox was leaning against the bench, dad was sitting on a chair at the bench and Mel was pacing
"And it's gone, the opportunity for me to be seen as the champion of animals instead of- you know" Mel said
"The Duck Punisher" Stephanie said
"The Duck Punisher?" I asked with frowed eyebrows
"You wanna unpack that one for Chrissy and me?" Dad asked
"It's actually pretty funny-"Ryder said and Mel glared at him
"In a way that's not funny at all, unless you hate ducks" Ryder said
"I have nothing against ducks! They're cute and they're delicious" Mel said walking around again.
"Aunt Mel was on this boat where everybody was celebrating the clean-up of the lake when a duck flew right at her" Lennox said as she walked and stood next to dad
"I barely tapped it with my oar, you'd think something called a duck would know how to… " Mel said as she ducked
"See not so hard" Mel said
"Yeah there were bloody feathers and duck bits everywhere" Ryder said
"And her approval rating went-" Stephanie said as she did a thumbs down.
"One question: when this tragic incident occurred was it duck season or-" Dad started
"Wabbit season" I joked doing the voice of Elmer Fudd from Looney Tunes and we laughed except Mel
"I was counting on P.R Spin from the Animal Shelter to help me out, but now we're back at square one and that's only because there's no square zero" Mel said
"You need to be seen on TV doing something good oh right that's my job. I could call my friend at Toledo Today" Stephanie said
"Oh that idiotic show? I don't want to be in one of those vapid puff pieces" Mel said walking over to where Stephanie, Ryder and I are.
"Everybody watches it, big numbers" Stephanie said
"I love that show start dialling" Mel changed her answer and Stephanie picked up her phone and started dialling
"You're playing with fire here Burke. When things blew up at Scanlon Trust, those news people twisted everything I said around, one reporter gets one sound bite of you saying "I'm going to miss my Porche but I still have my loving daughter to help me through it suddenly you're all over the internet as the douchy 'I'm going to miss my Porche more than I love my own daughter' guy" dad said before he went to the sink.
"Look I'm not an amateur, I'm the spinmeister. I'll invite them over to my office, they'll interview me and they'll eat a tiny little message out of my hand. Oh here, here's a tiny little message num, num, num, num" Mel said holding her hands out
"It aint that easy Burke" Dad said
"Yeah dad's right and you can't script everything" I said getting up and putting some cereal in a bowl seeing as I didn't get any
"Num, Num" Mel said still 'eating' out of her hand.
"Stephanie get them on the phone, here's the headline: Mel Burke: The Senator's Party Girl Daughter Has Transformed Herself And Is Bringing Major Change to Toledo" Mel said and Stephanie started typing
"By reducing the duck population" Ryder said
"Ha-ha that's a good one man. If anything happens to me it's nice to know you're here" Dad said
"You are funny babe" I said sitting back down with my cereal.
The next day after school Dad and Ryder were putting in a fire extinguisher in the kitchen and Lennox and I were doing homework at the bench
"Yeah, do it, yeah" Dad said as Ryder did what he said
"That fire thing isn't apart of Aunt Mel's approved kitchen décor" Lennox said
"Dad you've met Mel, she ain't goin to like this" I said looking up from my book.
"I think your Aunt values her life more than she values her kitchen décor" Dad said
"You haven't learnt anything while we've been here have you dad" I said.
"Oh good everybody's here, ok now don't freak out but coming to our house this afternoon: Celeste Vega" Mel said and we were all quiet, that name's not ringing any bells
"I know right? Celeste Vega – Channel 8? Toledo Today" Mel said reminding us who she is
"Is she the one who was standing in the hurricane when that stop sign hit her in the face?" Ryder asked
"Yeah and her hair stayed perfect the whole time" Mel said.
"So the reporter is coming over to the house? I thought she was going to stay at your office?" Dad asked her
"Yeah we all thought you were 'controlling the message' or whatever you were doing" I said
"Yeah you know num, num, num" dad said copying Mel yesterday.
"I'm controlling it here, please you guys don't do or say anything to embarrass me" Mel said
"Oh you mean the way you embarrassed your dad when he was in office" Lennox said
"It's real simple ok? Whenever you're getting out of any kind of vehicle wear underwear" Mel said wow she really was a wild child
"Look the point is stay on message" Mel said
"You don't have to worry about me, this is your deal I don't even exist" Dad said
"And neither do I" I said
"Actually it would be great if you were interviewed too you girlfriend of my nephew they don't have to know Joe's your dad" Mel said.
"Ok and you can trust me to stay on message" I said smiling
"Great thank you, and I just don't want any surprises" Mel said
"Fine" Dad said walking towards the basement door
"Uh what the hell is that scuba tank doing in my kitchen?" Mel asked dad noticing the Fire Extinguisher
"It's a fire extinguisher for your safety" Dad said and I started laughing
"Ok well it's not a part of my approved décor, can you make it disappear?" Mel asked dad. Lennox and I looked at each other
"Joe Longo" I said "Meet Mel Burke" Lennox finished and he just shook his head.
It was the afternoon and Celeste was already here and she was interviewing Lennox first so Ryder was sitting on the last step of the stairs, I was on his lap and Mel was leaning on the stairs next to Ryder
"So Lennox, your aunt has a colourful past, you must've heard the stories or seen the racy pictures?" Celeste asks Lennox who is currently sitting on the couch in front of Celeste
"Come on, All those pictures were faked, I mean there is no way she ever looked that good." Lennox said and Mel looked offended
"But the important thing now is that she is a hard working public official and I wear clothes all the time- especially when exiting a vehicle" Lennox said and she looked at Mel who forced a smile and a thumbs up.
"Chrissy, how has life been for you now that you live with Mel and her niece and the nephew you are so close to?" She asked me
"Well it's fun, I like living here and she treats me like her own which is great" I said
"Does she ever have time for you, Ryder and Lennox?" she asked me
"Well when she doesn't have to do her work she takes us bowling, out for dinner or to the movies" I said lying she hasn't done much then it was Ryder's time.
"So Ryder, are you rebellious like your aunt was at your age?" Celeste asks Ryder
"Sure, sure but in a very controlled and responsible way, Aunt Mel feels that rebellion can be best handled in a safe and loving home environment" Ryder said then he looked at his hand in front of the camera which was recording this
"Although she's not here very often because she works all time. Work, work, work she loves America" Ryder said and then looked at me, Lennox and Mel who was giving him a thumbs up and then it was time for Lennox, Ryder and I to sit on the couch with Mel who had her arms wrapped around us
"Mel Burke how do you do it all?" Celeste asks Mel
"I just do, when I'm faced with a challenge I rise to it's. It's like I tell everyone in my office: there are no problems only opportunities, cookie?" Mel said as she raised the plate of cookies which dad made.
"How does someone as busy as you have time to bake cookies?" Celeste asked Mel and us all laughed
"She doesn't even know where the kitchen is" Lennox said
"Yeah Joe made these" Ryder said and Mel's smile dropped
"Who's Joe? Are you hiding a man from us?" Celeste asked
"He's our… nanny" Mel said the only truth she has probably told all day
"And Chrissy's dad. She's dad's little badass" Ryder said
"A Male nanny and a dad? Well let's meet him" Celeste asked
"Oh he doesn't like to you know talk to the media?" Mel said
"Which means you haven't given him his talking points?" Celeste said oh shit she knows
"What? Talking points? I don't even know what that is." Mel lied.
"Cut boys, Mel can we have a minute?" Celeste said and her and Mel got up so I moved next to Ryder and cuddled up to him, long story short Celeste knows Mel is staging this and said she would go get dad or they would replay the Duck Massacre.
Dad was cooking dinner Lennox and I decided to take over the TV and play Just Dance and then Mel came in
"Lennox I need to work and that things distracting" Mel said
"Oh come on Aunt Mel! It's the only place we can do this" Lennox said as Mel took Lennox's remote for the Wii
"I'm sorry but work takes precedence over kids dancy games that like to-"Mel said as she flung her arms as she spoke but then she looked at the screen
"Look I just got 1000 points" Mel said
"Keep going, keep going" Lennox said and Mel did that
"You just got a combo, come on don't you feel better now? All the anger and frustration. Gone!" I told her
"Yeah I do, wow I should get one of these for my office, oh look virtual me is glowing! And is 5'8"" Mel said as she did the running man like on the screen and did the Mc Hammer dance and pushed Lennox and I out the way and can I just say I was laughing when I saw her dancing.
The next day Lennox, Mel and I were on Just Dance again and we were just having fun dancing and doing the moves on the screen when it stopped
"Ha ha beat you again" Lennox said rubbing her score in Mel's face
"Well hate to bother you but I beat all of you" I said
"No one more time" Mel said
"We've actually got some homework we have to do" Lennox said
"No, no, no I'll write you two a note. We're going again" Mel said
"I still have a higher score than you 2 see?" I said and clicked the A button on the Wii remote to see the scores and on the screen it show J-Lo 1, ChrisNotEvans 2, Foxy-Lennox-y 3, Bust a Mel 4 and Dance God Ryder 5 (I know it doesn't go up to 5 I think)
"Wait a minute someone beat me" I said with frustration
"Who is J-Lo?" Mel asked
"It has to be dad" I said but i don't think they heard me
"It's not me and it's not Ryder he's Dance God Ryder" Mel said
"It has to be dad" I said again
"How do you know it's your dad?" Lennox asked me.
"His name is Joe Longo in his name he has a J and Lo" I said
"Hey ladies, oh you're still wasting your time with this thing?" Dad asked
"Yeah, yeah we J-Lo" Mel said
"What I have no idea what you guys are talking about" Dad said and then we went back to the centre of the TV and played it again.
Hope you enjoy this chapter :)
5 more until i start Part B
'So Fetch' - Gretchen
-amber sixx
