Genre: Sci-fi, crossover, AU
Pairings: 1x2, other
Disclaimer: Don't own nothin' but these words
Warnings: Yaoi, lemon, language, violence, torture, abuse, character death (sort of), misuse of electricity, telepathy, politics
Special note: Dedicated to Nalamacleod and Hikishi, because this was your request to me. I hope you enjoy it!
A/N: I haven't updated this story in far too long. I am getting all caught up in my new ones. Waah, I write too much. My head is gonna esplode! There's a lot of raw emotion in this chapter. And a new development!
When It's Not What You Think - Listen To Me!
After three days of treatments, Duo felt so much better he was able to get out of bed and move around. Under Doctor Fraiser's watchful eye he began careful activity with Quatre or Wufei to help him. Trowa, his friends told him, was building new neuro-connectors so that the five of them could once again be in constant contact with one another's minds. The idea of the project both made Duo happy and incredibly sad.
"Quat," he thought, "would you take me to see Major Carter? I want to talk to her."
"About?" Quatre asked, even as he turned to Doctor Fraiser to ask if Duo could walk or if he needed a wheelchair.
"Heero," Duo replied, suddenly feeling stifled and trapped. "I want to walk," he said aloud as the brunette doctor insisted Duo should use a wheelchair. "I feel okay, I just . . . want to stretch my legs a little bit. Sam's lab isn't too far from here."
Doctor Fraiser pursed her lips. "All right," she acquiesced after a moment, "but take it easy. You've still a ways to go before you're better."
Hoping the look he gave her was at least a bit grateful, Duo accepted Quatre's arm in rising off the bed. The scrubs he wore felt stiff and rough, but perhaps it was the virus that made his skin feel sensitive. Quatre's hand on his arm even grated.
"I can sense you're in a lot of pain," Quatre said, supporting at least half Duo's weight as they walked. "Are you sure you're up to this?"
"I'll be fine," Duo replied. "I just want to . . . verify something."
Samantha's laboratory was filled with equipment, blinking lights, and humming sound. At the moment most of her space was filled with computer hardware - for, Duo knew, the super computer. She looked up almost as soon as they entered, and she smiled a little.
"Hi, guys. Just out for a walk?"
"Not really," Duo replied, releasing Quatre to lean against a table. "I wanted to . . . see how all this was coming." Don't cry, he thought harshly. You can hold it together.
Sam straightened, brushing back a lock of blonde hair almost the same color as Quatre's. "Pretty good," she said. "I've never built a computer this big before, but I wanted to make sure it met all the memory requirements with plenty of room to spare. After all, this is a person we're talking about." Her smile softened.
Duo's throat tightened. He had to blink back tears. "You're . . . you're sure? That this will work? He won't be . . . hurt?"
In a display of compassion that surprised him, Sam came around the tables to stand in front of him. Her eyes were so gentle. "Not at all. This computer will be isolated from our base mainframe, like General Hammond wanted, but there will be plenty for Heero to do. I've managed to construct an independent internet link, so he can read and learn and grow just like he would have normally."
"Just a different body, Duo," Quatre added. "That's all."
That's all. That's such a huge difference, Quat. If you want, you can still crawl into Trowa's bed and kiss him. Feel his arms around you. Feel his heat when he undresses you and makes love to you. I can't.
It didn't diminish Duo's love for Heero in the slightest. It made it all the more painful. For a moment he felt like he was choking. A single tear scorched down his cheek before he realized he'd allowed it past his defenses. In the next moment, he was enfolded in a warm embrace. Sam. She was surprisingly strong for such a petite woman. No soft, pillowy limbs here. A warrior. After a second of hesitation, Duo hugged her back. Clung for a moment. Then recalled himself with a slight physical shake. He pulled back.
"Thanks, Sam."
She smiled. "Any time."
o8o o8o
By early morning Heero had compiled the entire list Daniel had asked for. He wasn't sure why the linguist wanted the information documenting his and Duo's capture and captivity, but if it helped convince these people they weren't criminals perhaps it was for the best. He began disseminating, putting it into a mission-briefing format that would be easy to read, for any who cared to read. He also decided to edit out superfluous junk to keep the reader from feeling bogged down. It kept him busy and active, which was all he wanted at the moment.
The neuro-connectors Trowa was building at his instruction were coming along fine. The right equipment was a bit harder to find here on Earth, but Heero was making do. Those would be completed by the end of next week, some time after he'd found a new home in Carter's super-computer. He'd been observing her progress, and judging from what he'd learned of Earth technology, the computer would provide him with enough space to grow for at least five years.
And the Gundams . . . he'd also drawn up new schematics for building them with trinium and naquadah. They would be stronger and more durable with these new metals, capable of prolonged space travel. They would also be able to fight in a planet's atmosphere much better. And the programs would be more . . . malleable. The original Gundams had been so dangerous he'd made his companions destroy them. These Gundams wouldn't be much safer. But Heero knew ten times more about programming now than he ever had before. One benefit of his new . . . body.
The door opened, and to Heero's surprise, his lover walked in. This was the fourth day of his treatments, and he was looking better. Not quite so pale and gray. Still too thin, but better. His face was shadowed as he walked in, casting about the office. Heero brought his image up on the monitor.
"What are you doing out of bed?" he asked gently, careful not to upset Duo's fragile emotions.
Duo looked at him and a half smile crossed his face. "I thought you'd be here."
Heero blinked. "All you had to do was say my name and I'd have gone where you were," he protested. "I can be anywhere."
That, apparently, was the wrong thing to say. Heero could see the threat of tears building up in Duo's eyes. "I know. But . . . I wanted to get out of there. Just for a while. What are you doing?"
"Daniel asked me to compile all the data from our captivity."
"Oh." Then, "Did he say why?"
"No, but I hope it will convince these people we are innocent."
Duo looked at him again, and a single tear trickled down his cheek. A sad smile crossed his lips. "Innocent . . ." he murmured. "Not anymore."
It hit Heero hard, that painful, intense desire to hold Duo. The blinding anger that he could not. The despair that he could not comfort his lover. Hold him. Kiss him. Whisper in his ear that it would be all right. Even . . . even back in that military base, locked in the cold cell, had been better than this. Because at least then he'd been able to do those things. Now, he couldn't even cry. All he could do was feel those crippling emotions and watch as Duo sank down onto the chair, tears falling in earnest now.
"I miss you," Duo said, voice hitching, "and you're right there. I can see you, but I can't feel you anymore. You're still with me but . . . we're separate. Separate."
"Duo . . . Duo . . ." Heero whispered, reaching. Reaching. Getting nowhere. Not really moving.
The pain in those limpid eyes tore right through Heero's heart.
"God, this fucking sucks."
Heero almost laughed at the profanity. Duo broke into a tiny smile, then it was swept away by grief.
"Why'd they do this, Heero? We didn't do anything." His head feel back, thumping against the filing cabinet. "I don't care about safety. I just want you back. I want you back, Heero." He laid his palm flat against the monitor screen. "But it's cold."
For a long time, they stayed like that. Duo silently weeping and Heero watching. He'd never known pain like this. The torture was better. It was physical. This was exponentially worse. Because even while watching Duo being tormented, he'd known he would be able to take his lover back in his arms, hold him and comfort him. Warm him again.
This was how Daniel found them. He came into the office in his usual distracted-looking way, but stopped short when he saw Duo. And then Heero. He set down whatever he was reading and came to Duo's side.
"You okay?"
Duo looked up at him, an empty smile on his lips. "Not really."
Daniel didn't ask what was wrong. He was smarter than that. He glanced at Heero, then laid a hand on Duo's shoulder. "Anything I can do?"
"No," Duo said, shaking his hand and rubbing the back of his hand against his eyes. He looked up at Daniel again, and the pain in his eyes tugged at Heero. "I love him," he said as if that explained everything, which it did, really. "I . . . you probably think I'm too young. We're just kids. Yeah, but I love him. I . . . I want him back, Daniel. This is worse than him being gone because I know I can't have him back, but he's still there!" Now his eyes landed on the monitor again, and Heero would have brought the whole world down just to hold Duo in that moment. "I want him back!" Leaping to his feet, he bolted out of the office.
Heero spared Daniel one glance and acted. He cast about for his brother and found him. "Trowa!" he said, startling his brother out of his meditative trance. "Come now, please. Duo needs you."
Trowa didn't wait for a second bidding. "Where?"
At Heero's direction, Trowa rounded the corner and caught Duo as he started around it. For a moment Duo struggled as though angry, then he collapsed in Trowa's arms with a heartbroken sob.
"Shh, Duo . . ." Trowa murmured, stroking his hair. "It's all right. I'm here."
Duo reacted again, this time slamming his fist against Trowa's chest. "I don't want you!" he cried, face in anguish. "I want him! I want him!"
Heero watched as his brother calmed Duo with skill and patience. That should be me. Those should be my arms around him. He didn't think he'd ever hated those people as much as right now. He couldn't cry, but he saw a single tear course down Trowa's cheek and knew it was for him.
o8o o8o
Wufei, feeling somewhat worn out from Duo's emotional strain, headed almost mindlessly down the hall. Duo, weakened by grief and the virus, was broadcasting all over the base. To any telepath there was a near-constant backwash that was hard to ignore.
He rounded a corner to see General Hammond coming toward him. The bald human looked in a bit of a rush.
"Ah, Wufei," he said, gesturing ahead of him. "Come with me, son. There's something I think you should see."
Mystified and happy for a distraction, Wufei followed the general's lead into the control room. The stargate was active, and a face was on the monitors from the communication. From Desaine. Wufei blinked.
"Well, well," he murmured. "Zechs Marquise. I'm surprised you have the guts to show your face to me."
The Desaine had long platinum hair and cool blue eyes, remarkably attractive for his people. Unlike most Desaines, his accent for English was crisp and clear.
"Wufei," he acknowledged, nodding his head. "I know what you think of me, but I honestly had no idea what they were planning. Please believe me."
"I don't," Wufei said sharply, lifting his chin the slightest bit so the coldness in his eyes was visible. "You were the one who brought Heero and Duo to that base."
"We were told it was for a routine examination," Zechs said, shaking his head. "They lied to us as much as to you. We had no idea they were planning to keep them there and . . . torture them."
Now Wufei held his peace, simply staring at him. He didn't care if that was true or not. He wanted someone to blame, and Zechs had brought Heero and Duo to that base where they'd been imprisoned. Zechs hadn't lifted a finger to help them escape, after all. For a time the two simply stared at each other. Then Zechs closed his eyes, sighing audibly.
"Would you believe me if I helped them now?"
Wufei snorted. "You couldn't do anything for them now. They're safe here. With these humans. You can't touch them. Or us."
"I have no desire to hurt them," Zechs said in pleading tones. "I have information I know you'll want, and it comes at only the small price of giving me a second chance."
Wufei raised an eyebrow, and General Hammond finally interrupted.
"You know who this is?" he asked.
"Yeah," Wufei replied. "Commander Zechs Marquise, Desaine Military, Faction 06. This is the bastard that brought Heero and Duo to the military base that would be their prison for the next many months."
Zechs actually flinched. "Please, Wufei."
"What's this information you think I want?" Wufei growled.
"It's about Heero," Zechs replied. "The government thought what they did to him would be the best weapon they ever created -"
"Come on," Wufei interrupted with a sneer. "Don't tell me you didn't jump on that bandwagon, Marquise."
"Listen to me!" Zechs snapped. "They weren't sure their experiment would be successful, so they took precautions. They wanted Duo to think Heero was dead because they knew it would weaken his resistance. They knew grief would make him careless, but they didn't think it would make him reckless, too. Didn't you ever wonder how Duo escaped with Heero mostly intact? I tried to help as much as I could.
"But Wufei, Heero is not dead. He's alive - in cryogenic stasis. Here, on Desaine."
