Authors note: I realise this story is going to require a little commitment from my readers, but if you like the writing, have faith that some big twists are coming. I haven't hit the gas yet.
Bulma turned to her sixteen year old Trunks, hand over her mouth to cover the twisting of her mouth, it's bitter line.
'I guess, you could say that the month after he returned was a bit of a rollercoaster ride.'
'What's a rollercoaster?'
'It's a – oh never mind! Things went up and down with your father. It didn't start off too bad. But he was at a loss, being back on earth after so long. He didn't know what to do with himself.' She laughed, as a memory tickled her. 'Being a hands-on Dad certainly didn't suit him! You know that picture I have of him and you? At the street parade? What a farce of a day.'
'The one where he's holding me in one arm and an ice cream in the other?'
'That's the one. He didn't get the parade at all, or the rides, or candy floss, and he was so cantankerous he managed to goad a stranger into taking a swing at him. I thought he was going to get arrested, or more likely kill a cop whilst resisting arrest.' That photo was one of her favourites – Vegeta's murderous glare at the camera contrasted with the puzzled face of baby Trunks and maple walnut ripple in a cone. It was one of a small collection of family photographs she'd retrieved from the rubble of the house.
'He took off for a week at one point. Just said he was going to find Piccolo and left. Didn't say anything about why he'd gone or what he'd been doing when he came back. He'd barely talk to me at all. He supervised the refit of the spaceship himself and I let him have at it. He started avoiding meal times with the rest of the family. It was eating me up inside, so I decided that I would try and find Piccolo myself, to find out what they had talked about. I called Gohan.'
Trunks perked up at the name of his friend. 'Because Piccolo was Gohan's friend?'
'Yes, he was the only person I knew who knew how to find him. Chichi overheard though. I'm afraid Gohan lied and said that I wanted to find Piccolo because I was arranging a party at Kame House. She called Krillin and asked him if he was going too, and suddenly I found myself arranging a party.'
'Did my father go?'
Bulma snorted. 'Unbelievably, yes. I realised that it was probably time to introduce you to my friends anyway. I'd kept you and Vegeta secret for far too long. He didn't fight the idea as much as I thought he would.'
'Was Yamcha there?' asked Trunks.
'Oh yes! I warned them both that the other might be there. Vegeta agreed that as Turtle Island was neutral territory he would not kill Yamcha on sight if he turned up. I was still surprised Yamcha came though. Maybe he thought Vegeta wouldn't show, but he told me that he wasn't going to let Vegeta think he was scared of him, though I think it was fairly obvious that he was scared. Anyway, you were the star of the party! Krillin and Gohan just couldn't believe it when they found out who your father was.' She smiled at the memory. Gohan and Chichi had arrived on Flying Nimbus, amazing considering Chichi was a woman in her thirties – at sixteen Bulma's heart had already been too corrupted for the cloud to hold her.
Gohan and his mother sprung nimbly from the little cloud onto the beach and joined the scrum around Bulma; Tien, Launch, Chao-Tsu, Roshi, and Krillin crowded around admiring the baby, with Yamcha and Piccolo standing a little apart. Vegeta kept well away, staring out to sea, but listening hard no doubt.
'Bulma, is this your baby?' asked Gohan wonderingly.
'Yes, he's my little boy Trunks.'
'Ah,' Krillin rubbed his head in embarrassment. 'Hey Bulma, maybe this is an obvious question, but who's the father?'
Bulma hesitated, winding herself up to make her revelation. She grinned.
'He must be Yamcha's son!' said Gohan confidently, laughing, unaware how wrong he was.
'He's not my kid!' said Yamcha angrily, folding his arms in contempt for the idea. There was a collective gasp from everyone not in the know.
'But then who…?' asked Krillin.
'Oh come on!' scolded Chichi. 'It's obvious! This is Vegeta's son.'
'No way!' said Gohan.
'Who have you been talking to?' Bulma asked Chichi, annoyed at her thunder being stolen.
'No one at all. Am I right?'
'Is this true?' asked Master Roshi in tones of disbelief.
'Yes.'
There was another stunned intake of breath all round. From the water's edge she heard Vegeta chuckle.
'Well…that's unexpected,' said Master Roshi.
'What the hell has been going on at the Brief's household?' said Krillin to himself. Yamcha looked highly offended. This was surely a humiliating moment for him.
'I thought I already taught you about men and women Krillin,' said Roshi, 'but if you need a refresher I've got some videos in the lounge…'
She never found the time at the party to talk to Piccolo alone. They'd had their BBQ and beers, swum in the sea, sunbathed. She was pleased that at different times Tien and Roshi managed to strike up a conversation with Vegeta. She was amused to see that Roshi was teaching Vegeta his signature move, the Kamehameha wave.
'No, not like that! There's more to it that just pouring energy out of yourself!'
She did though manage to corner Chichi in the kitchen when they went in to get more drinks.
'What made you think that it was obvious that Vegeta is Trunk's father?' She couldn't help the slight tone of accusation in the question. She was still put out that her grand revelation had been guessed so easily.
'Other than the fact that Trunks looks like his Dad? Or that Vegeta lives in your house? Or that Yamcha looks as sorry as a cat left out in the rain all night?'
Bulma crossed her arms. 'Yes, other than those facts.'
Chichi looked as if she was considering the question, and then shrugged and said flippantly 'Only the best for Bulma Briefs!'
'What's that supposed to mean?'
'That I guess it's only natural that the Princess should choose the Prince.'
Bulma narrowed her eyes. 'Actually I believe that you are the only princess present in this room.'
'Oh come on! Which on of us lives in a palace?'
Bulma couldn't deny that one. 'Well, you got one thing right, he is the best.'
'Yes, now he is,' said Chichi, her face going curiously neutral. She suddenly turned away, and walked out into the sunshine, holding the bottle of soda. Bulma felt her own spirits lower at the near-mention of the absent Goku.
Still, it had all gone better than she could have hoped, and Vegeta even accompanied her home in the hoverjet instead of flying ahead of her like he had on the way to the party. The fireworks didn't start until about halfway home when the odours escaping Trunks's diaper invaded their nostrils.
'Holy Kami, that child is stinking!' complained Vegeta.
Bulma held her nose, steering one handed. 'It's not his fault, he's not used to solid food yet.' Soon the baby began to be aware of his discomfort and started to wail.
'I can't take this sound and smell at the same time. Can't you clean him up Woman?'
'In the hoverjet? We're only fifteen minutes from home. I'll change him there.'
Vegeta picked Trunks up from the cocoon and held him at arms length.
'Shut up child, there are a lot worse things out there than a hot, sticky diaper.'
Trunks paused in confusion, and then cried harder.
'Urgh, Woman, it's leaking! Surely you should change him?'
'If it's leaked it too late already. Just be patient.'
'I might have to fly the rest of the way, I can't stand this racket.'
'If it bothers you so much why don't you change him?'
'I don't know how! That's your job.'
'You've seen me do it - it's not rocket science. I happen to be a rocket scientist, so I should know.'
Vegeta growled in exasperation, but surprisingly went into the small back space of the hoverjet and began to rummage round in the bag of baby supplies. Bulma didn't turn around, but tried to surreptitiously watch him in the reflection on the windscreen.
'King Cold's balls, what the hell is this? The child is obviously ill Woman.'
'Really?' she said, and was suddenly presented with a full, slimy, pooey diaper right under her nose.
'Urh! Vegeta, what are you playing at? I can't breathe! It looks normal, get it out of my face!'
Vegeta whipped the side light window open and hiffed it out.
'Not out the window! Imagine that thing landing in someone's back yard, or on their head!'
'Better them than me,' he replied, now gathering an over-cautious handful of wet wipes to clean up Trunks. After a few seconds he said 'Don't you think it's irresponsible to have left the child's tail intact this long?'
'Well, I'm going to get it removed one day. It's so cute, and I didn't want to put him through surgery yet. I've been careful not to let him see the full moon. He's never out of the nursery at night anyway.' They had used the dragonballs to restore the moon nearly two years ago. It was a gift to the world, Piccolo's idea, and a fun little mission for her and Gohan and Krillin.
'He's out of the nursery tonight, and the moon is coming up right now, so you're obviously not that careful.'
With a jolt of panic Bulma realised he was right. 'It's okay, just pull the blinds in the back there. Or better yet, put one of those diaper cloths over the top of his cocoon when you're done.'
She listened to Vegeta's sounds of disgust as he cleaned up, and Trunks's slightly confused, complaining cry. Suddenly Trunks's crying stopped, but the next second he let out an ear-piercing shriek of real pain.
'What?' said Bulma, turning in her seat to see what was going on, but Vegeta was in the way, leaning forward and flinging something else out the window – something about the same size and colour as a cooked chipolata. 'What the hell! Did you just pull our son's tail off?'
She pushed past him in her haste to get to Trunks, abandoning the hoverjet controls. He was lying face down on the change mat screaming his little heart out, a red wound at the base of his spine oozing just a bit of blood.
'Oh Trunks! I'm so sorry, poor baby!' She picked him up, and lay him along one arm, face down, then reached for the first aid capsule under the seat in front with her other.
'You absolute psycho!' she screamed at Vegeta, who had now settled back into the front passenger seat. 'Good God, what the hell were you thinking, pulling our son's tail off just like that?'
'It had to happen sooner or later, and better sooner, before he had a chance to miss it. Or destroy the house and wreck the city.'
'Of course it had to go sometime! But it certainly didn't need to be tonight, right now! And pulling it off? Are you so savage and brutal? Surgery Vegeta, anaesthetic! Why would you want your son to suffer like this?'
'He's a baby Bulma!' he said angrily. 'He won't remember this at all. And if he did, what's the worry? His life's going to be full of pain.'
'No, it won't!'
'You can predict his future?'
'No, but neither can you!'
'I was just stating fact. No life is lived without pain.'
'Well my son isn't going to feel any more pain than he has to!'
Vegeta snorted. 'You'll raise him soft.'
She found a syringe of local anaesthetic in the first aid kit and cringed while she injected Trunks just above the wound. The proximity alert started buzzing on the dashboard.
'Just land the damn hoverjet Vegeta!'
Vegeta landed hard, on purpose she thought, and as soon as the they were at a stop she was out the door, Trunks still draped over one arm and the first aid kit in the other. She decided she probably didn't need the med lab facilities, the first aid kit had everything she needed, so she took him straight upstairs to the nursery, and laid him down on the changing table up there. He was still crying a little, but not as hard. She pulled the overhead lamp down to give her enough light to clean the wound up and then put stitches in. Trunks didn't like getting the stitches very much, even with the anaesthetic. Then she dressed the site and delicately put a diaper on him. Trunks was quiet now, but he looked up at her from his prone position on the changing table with one blue eye full of tears and accusation.
'Woman,' said a Vegeta's voice from the corridor doorway.
She jumped. How long had he been standing there? She decided she didn't care.
'Just go away Vegeta.'
'I didn't mean the child harm, you know that.'
'You have a pretty funny way of showing it.'
'He'll come to no harm from that wound.'
'No thanks to you.'
'Then you know you're being irrational.'
She rounded on him, crossing the room, seeing red with anger. 'You are the crazy one, not me!' He stepped back away from her and she grasped the door handle, wanting to slam it, but mindful of Trunks. 'Go away Vegeta, I don't want to talk to you!' And she closed the door in his face.
