Disclaimer – I own nothing related to Twilight, it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer and company. Which is fine, I'll just take the actor who plays Jasper. The place mentioned within this fanfiction is from my own imagination, and any similarity to any establishment is purely unintentional.
Massive amounts of love and appreciation to everyone who has reviewed and/or added this to your favorites and alerts. My apologies for this taking so long, but hopefully the updates will be coming quicker and quicker.
A huge thank you to the wonderful MaBarberElla for stepping in for Sarah and beta reading this.
Jasper's POV
Well, that hadn't worked out the way I thought it would.
Once I had opened my mouth things had gone south from there. I hadn't meant to be so emotional, but the topic of conversation and Bella's incredible empathy left me helpless and vulnerable. I think I would have been able to contain my feelings had she not touched me, but the sheer tenderness of it threw me over the edge of a precipice upon which I was barely balanced.
Once my cheek hit her chest, the pain of Alice leaving and the guilt I had carried with me for so long was so overwhelming I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore. The sound of her heartbeat, loud and strong, cut through me like a knife; knowing I had very nearly stopped that exact heart made me want to die all over again. The gentleness of her fingers woven through my hair and the loving tone in her words made me hate Alice for a moment. I wondered briefly if Alice would have tried to comfort me the same way Bella was. I knew the answer was 'no', but Bella's smell and warm skin kept the anger that rose with that realization at bay.
We sat like that in the kitchen for an immeasurable amount of time, neither one of us able to pull away from the other, even long after we had both quieted. I took this time to memorize the feel of her body against mine: the warm, pliable softness of her stomach pressed against my chest. It wasn't as though she were heavy set, but there was a certain plushy feel to which no vampire skin could compare. I felt a rush in certain areas of my body as I tried not to focus my attention on her supple breasts against my collarbone. My mind raced off in directions completely inappropriate during a moment that, just seconds ago, had been nothing other than a selfless act of kindness on her part.
Her fingers flexed in the mess of my hair, her nails lightly scratching my scalp. I wondered what she was thinking and I sought out her emotions. I was shocked when I realized hers mirrored my own – wonderment and lust. I immediately pulled back, afraid of where this might lead. Bella's bright brown eyes widened and her face betrayed her emotion: that she'd been caught doing something wrong. Her lips parted slightly and I had an overwhelming urge to cover them with my own, desperate to know if they were as soft and warm as the rest of her.
"J-Jasper?" she asked.
I snapped out of my bloodlust – or at least that was what I was going to call it until I figured out something that explained the sudden attraction – and smiled at her, trying to act as though nothing was amiss.
"I apologize," I said quickly.
Her eyebrows came together. "Why?"
Why? She was asking me why? "I'm not entirely sure," I answered honestly, trying to keep my tone even, as to not worry her.
"Oh, Jasper," she sighed. "There's nothing to be sorry about."
I just nodded my head, the proximity of her welcoming body tempting me to mold against it again. A sudden thought came to me and I decided to run with it. "Would you like to do something with me today?"
She chewed her lip, awakening a maddening quiver within me, and nodded. "What did you have in mind?"
"Well, I'd like to go to Seattle do a bit of shopping. Would you like to come with me?"
A large smile appeared on her face. "I'd love to!" she said immediately.
I smiled; her willingness to do something I wanted brought up feelings in me I hadn't felt in a long time – excitement, hope, and, oddly, nervousness. "Let's go, then!" I said before reluctantly pulling my arms from around her, grasping her wrists and kissing each of her hands in turn before helping her up and out of her seat.
"Hey, hang on," she called as I practically dragged her out of the house, only stopping for a second to shove my feet into some shoes by the door. I paused after she spoke, turned, and waited for her to continue. "Do you mind if we stop by my house? I have to grab a few things first, if you don't mind."
I chuckled. "Of course I don't mind!" I said enthusiastically.
"You alright?" she asked, smiling but sounding worried.
"Honestly?" I asked, and she nodded. "I'm just happy to be doing something with someone – with you. I haven't seen anyone I know or talked to anyone in person in a long time."
She nodded, seeming to understand and I pulled my keys out of my pocket and hit the unlock button just as we reached the car. I led her to the passenger side of the car, much to her amusement. I opened her door and shrugged when she gave me a questioning look. Bella resigned a smile to me before getting in, which quickly erased the awkwardness from the moment. I got into the car and started the engine, surprised the thing still ran. I hadn't been in the car since long before everyone had left Forks. I gingerly maneuvered the Mustang into the front lawn in order to go around her truck. With my insistence, she fiddled with the radio dial, finding something easy-going that we both liked as I drove to her house.
Bella quietly told me she wouldn't be more than a few minutes; all she had to do was call Charlie, change her shirt, and grab her money. I waited patiently, playing with the bass and treble levels until they were the perfect blend. Edward wasn't the only 'musical one' in the family, but I was never one to flaunt my talents, and I loved Esme for never having told anyone about our secret guitar lessons some five years back.
Before I really had time to dwell on the past, Bella came out of the house. Her shoe caught on some unseen object and she stumbled for a moment before righting herself. I chuckled quietly as she huffed and mumbled under her breath. She had changed her tank top for an attractive cream-colored shirt. The material looked soft, plush almost, but it clung to her just enough to show off her slight curves. She smiled nervously at me when she opened the door.
"Everything alright?" I asked.
"Great," she replied, relaxing into the seat as she closed the door.
"Talk to your dad?"
"Yes," she said, and I couldn't help but smile at the mixture of exasperation and love in her emotions at the mention of her father. "I told him I was going to Seattle with a friend, and I might not be back for quite awhile. He said it was fine; he was called into work for something or other and won't be home until after midnight."
"Did you tell him it was me?" I asked. I didn't know if it was important or not, I was just curious.
"No," she answered, looking worried. "Is that okay? I mean, he didn't ask and I – "
"Bella," I said with a laugh, cutting her off, "don't worry. It's up to you what you tell your father; it's not my business."
She sighed, relieved. "Thanks," she said.
I had no idea why she was thanking me, but I left it alone. Call it a hunch, but I figured it had something to do with Edward. I backed out of her driveway and headed towards the highway. We chatted companionably, catching each other up on the last year and some odd months of our lives.
She told me about graduation and the month she spent in Florida with her mother, who sounded like she was the exact opposite of Bella, but interesting for sure. Bella loved my stories of Austria and New Zealand the most, her eyes widening when I told her about the many beautiful sites I had taken for granted while I was there.
"Jasper?" she asked about forty minutes in, breaking our steady conversation.
I glanced at her briefly before turning my eyes back to the road, interested as I felt curiosity seeping from her. "Yes, Bella?"
"Why aren't you driving a hundred miles an hour?" she asked nonchalantly.
I couldn't help the laugh that left me. "Why would I be?"
I saw her shrug out of the corner of my eye. "Edward used to drive fast, no matter where we were going, but especially when going a long distance. Not to mention the fact that you drove a bit quicker when we went to Phoenix."
I stiffened slightly, a small flicker of anger running through me, irritated at the fact that Edward seemed to have given Bella the impression that all vampires were reckless with human cargo. "I drove fast to Phoenix because I wanted to put as much distance between you and James as safely as possible. I typically enjoy a slower pace. I don't feel the need to get everywhere as fast as I possibly can. I'm enjoying just driving with you; I don't think we're in any hurry."
I relaxed when I saw her smile. "I completely agree, Jazz," she said, leaning her head back against the seat and closing her eyes.
A thrill shot through me when she called me 'Jazz'. I had always hated that nickname, but, for reasons I couldn't explain, I suddenly loved it. The conversation picked back up as though it had never been interrupted, and it didn't stop again until we reached the city limits. I felt her eagerness as we crossed into the city, which fed my excitement.
"Where to first?" we asked at the same time.
We both laughed loudly, even though it really wasn't that funny. There was a nervous but ecstatic energy that filled the car, adding fuel to our happy moods. Bella shifted in her seat, a smile still on her face.
"Well, since it was your idea, you pick first."
"Good argument," I complimented and was pleased when she blushed. I mentally categorized all the stores I knew in the city and finally settled on a medium-priced clothing store where I recalled seeing a wonderful pair of black cowboy boots once. She agreed and we were there within a few minutes. I deposited a handful of quarters into the parking meter and held the shop door open for Bella.
The store was called Unlimited Occasions, and the name said it all. Aisle after aisle of streetware, formal dresses and suits crowded the front of the store, leaving only a slim area for marked down Halloween costumes. I walked around her when she stopped just inside the door to take it all in. I playfully grabbed her hand, leading her down the main aisle to the back of the store where they kept the shoes.
I immediately went to the back wall, home of all the 'specialty footwear'. I nearly jumped up and down when I saw the exact same black cowboy boots from years ago still sitting on the shelf, collecting dust. I let Bella's hand go and gently took the old boots off the shelf and examined them, amazed they were still there.
"How'd I know?" I heard Bella say from behind me.
"What?" I asked, turning around to face her.
She smiled. "I had a feeling we'd be going to a western store first, so I was surprised that you chose here. But now I see why."
"Why did you think I was going to a western store?" I asked, amused.
She shrugged. "Well, your accent kind of says it all, Jazz."
I raised my eyebrow and she gave me an exasperated smile.
"You look too uppity in those clothes," she said with a laugh. "You never look comfortable, so I thought maybe this was your break for freedom."
I chuckled and shook my head. "Something like that," I said.
"So, boots first?" she asked.
"What do you think?" I asked, holding up the boots.
"Try them on and I'll let you know."
I sat on one of the benches the store supplied for just such occasions and easily slid off the loafers I was wearing. I tugged the boots onto my feet, nearly sighing in relief as they formed around my feet and ankles and halfway up my calves. I stood, feeling nostalgic but more comfortable than I had been in too long. I hiked up both pant legs and stuck out one foot, propping it back on its heel to show the boot off to Bella.
"Perfect," she said with a large smile. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to stand seeing you wear loafers again."
I chuckled. "Yeah?"
"You wouldn't look right in anything else, Jasper."
I smiled widely and grabbed the box from the shelf, opting to leave the boots on and throw the loafers into the box instead. "Alright, Bella, what am I going to have to do in order to get you into a pair of these?"
Her lips pursed slightly and she stared at me, looking as though she were carefully forming her answer. I contemplated sending her a wave of calm so heavy that she'd comply with whatever I asked for, but I decided to I'd fight fair… for now.
"Okay," she said finally, a sly smile appearing on her face, "but you have to help me pick out a complete outfit, fit for a true southern cowgirl."
I had to do my best to keep my mouth from falling open, stunned at her reply. Bella? Wanting to look like a cowgirl? Sweet mercy, kill me now. I had a hefty amount of control when it came to being around her and her blood now that no one else around me felt the need to bleed her dry too, but I didn't know if the man in me would be able to handle it. I still hadn't had the time to work out the undeniable attraction I felt for her. Or, at the very least, make sure she didn't notice.
"Deal," I said, plastering a smirk on my face.
"Wait," she said quickly, "I have one more thing to add to that."
Uh-oh. "What's that?" I asked nonchalantly.
"I want to come back to Seattle and check out that country western club that's opening up in two months, and I want you to teach me to dance."
"What?" I asked immediately. "I thought you hated dancing! And large groups of people…"
"I do," she said, nodding. "However, Jasper, I think it's about time you and I had a little more fun in our lives. Try some new things."
I stared at her, confused. "You want me to take you?"
I felt her nervousness before her face turned into a worried frown. "I mean, if you want to. You don't have to, that's alright, Jasper, I understand. I'm sorry. Let's just find a pair of boots, okay?"
"No!" I said quickly, lightly grabbing her arm as she made to turn away. "I'm sorry, Bella, really. I was just shocked, that's all. I'd love to take you dancin', darlin'. I haven't been in ages."
"Really?" she asked, her heartbeat picking up in pace.
"'Course I would," I replied honestly. "If that's what you want to do, then we'll do it."
"Really?" she asked again, excitement radiating off of her and I couldn't help but mirror it.
"Promise," I said, genuinely smiling now. "But, because I am taking you out, I'd like to pay for the outfit." She made to protest, but I stopped her. "Bella, let me be a gentleman, would you? I'd like to do this properly."
Bella raised her eyebrow at me but didn't say anything else, so I dragged her over to the female shoe section, rummaging through nearly every pair of size seven boots before finding the perfect pair. They were a dark brown, with intricate swoops and loops and seemingly random designs, but to me it was a work of art. They were feminine but sturdy, something Bella most definitely needed. I motioned to a bench and she sat down, looking up at me and holding out her hands. I handed her the boots, wondering what she'd think.
She slipped off her tennis shoes and slowly pulled on the boots, looking as though she were trying to memorize the feel of the thick leather beneath her fingers. I watched her with rapt attention as she pulled the tab at the back of each boot, sliding her feet fully inside.
I watched as her fingers ran the length of the boots, her fingertips tracing along the leather patterns in what looked like decided slow motion. I could feel my mouth slowly dropping open as she continued to caress the raised designs, her eyes fluttering – or was that just my imagination? I began to wonder if she would use the same care, the same gentleness and tenderness if those fingers were roaming over me. My eyes went wide as her nails trailed the sole of one of the boots. I was ready to beg for those beautiful hands to cover every part of my body, not those sordid boots.
"They're beautiful," she whispered, not taking her eyes away from them.
I shook my head and cleared my throat, confused as to what was going on. She looked up at me and I saw her hands were no longer on the boots. I quickly tried to cover up my perverse thoughts.
"I have good taste," I said a little smugly, overjoyed that she liked them so much.
But then she saw the price tag.
"Three hundred dollars?" she nearly shouted. "No, Jasper, no, I can't."
I rolled my eyes. "Either you let me get you the damn boots and the rest of the getup or no dancing."
She looked at me, wide eyed. "You wouldn't."
"I would," I challenged. I wasn't serious, but I wasn't about to let her know that.
"I'll find someone else to take me," she replied, but I knew she was lying.
"Liar," I said, and her face fell a little. I decided to take a softer approach. "Isabella, you said you wanted us to have fun, and obviously you wanted to do it together. This is part of the fun for me, getting you something nice. I have more than enough money, I assure you. Please, let me treat you the way you deserve."
I saw moisture briefly rise up in her eyes, and that confused me. She chewed the inside of her bottom lip, obviously conflicted. "Alright, Jasper," she conceded with a sigh, blinking rapidly until her eyes were back to normal. "If that's what you honestly want, then alright, you win. I forfeit."
Me – one, Bella – nothing.
I gave her a huge smile and pulled her to her feet, nearly skipping as I led her to the women's apparel, riffling through the massive racks of dress shirts until I found one I thought would look nice on her. She shuffled her feet for a few minutes before joining in my search. About twenty minutes later, Bella found her way back to me, a small stack of shirts and jeans hung over her arm. I grinned and was pleased to see that bright smile I liked so much back on her face.
"Anything you like?" I asked. "If not, there are still a few more places we could look."
She shook her head. "No, because knowing you, you would probably start with the lowest prices and move your way up."
I gaped at her. "It's a possibility," I said incredulously.
Bella rolled her eyes. "You aren't stupid with money, Jasper; that much is obvious. I'm sure you have more than enough to live on for quite a long time, yet you have very few possessions. It just made sense that you'd look for bargains just like the rest of us humans. You like what you like, and there are only a few things for which you'll pay a ridiculous price. Like my boots."
It was my turn to roll my eyes. "As correct as you may be, I think you're just avoiding trying things on."
"Whatever," she said with a laugh.
About half an hour later, we had everything we could find that could be considered 'cowgirlish', and I found myself sitting on a chair in front of the dressing rooms, anxiously waiting for Bella to try things on. Every once in awhile she'd yell something to me like 'too small' or 'too big' or, my personal favorite, 'not country enough'. After what felt like hours, Bella finally said she might've found the perfect outfit, but she wanted to show me first. I told her to bring her soon-to-be-southern-lookin' backside out of the dressing room to show me.
When she stepped out of the dressing room, the first thought to cross my mind was 'holy God, I've created a monster – a fucking gorgeous monster.' I rarely curse, but there was no helping it then. She looked… too perfect.
Including the boots, she had on an off-the shoulder light blue button up with a sweetheart neckline that fit so tightly it didn't leave much to the imagination. Her jeans, a darker blue than I was used to seeing her in, looked poured on at the hips and thighs before flaring out just slightly at the bottoms. The worst part of the whole thing – or best, however you wanted to look at it – was the brown cowgirl hat atop her head, making her look mysterious and somehow dangerous as it hung low on her forehead, casting shadows along her cheeks and eyes.
"Well?" she asked nervously, holding out her arms and slowly spinning.
I did all I could not to groan as her slim frame made a full turn. I ran a hand over my face, trying to collect my thoughts. "You look…" What was I supposed to say? Sexy? Hot? Beautiful? Astonishing? That I wanted to take her right there on the floor?
"That bad?" she asked, her face falling.
"No," I said quickly. "You look… stunning."
Her cheeks flushed bright red and she looked down, embarrassed. "You really like it?"
I held back the delirious laugh that bubbled in my throat. 'Like' wasn't even close to the word I would use to describe the feelings I felt about the outfit. "I – I love it. You look really, really wonderful."
Bella finally met my eyes and she smiled hugely, and I could feel how delighted she was by my approval. I shifted in my seat, suddenly uncomfortable thanks to her outfit. She didn't notice.
"Is it your turn yet?" she asked anxiously.
"What?" I asked, lost.
"Aren't you getting yourself a few things here?"
"Oh, yes, if that's alright with you," I replied, shaking my head to clear the cobwebs.
"That was kind of the whole point of this trip, Jazz," she said, laughing. "Just let me get changed."
Before I could say anything else, she turned back to the dressing rooms and I nearly groaned as her hips swayed as she walked. I put my head in my hands and a sudden realization hit me: I had to dance with her dressed like that.
Oh, shit.
A/N – I have to give credit where credit is due – so a special thank you goes to marbleandtoast for the brilliant idea of having them go shopping together. I was planning on it later in the story, but when you suggested it, it just reconfirmed my pondering and made me want to write it so much sooner.
