Fear: Chapter Seven
Condolences
Armin slowly sat mute, as he watched the other cadets around him gorge down on their own nourishment. They conversed with mouth's full, and laughed spitting up things that they were previously chewing. He sat at a very crowded table, along a certain brown-haired girl.
Luckily, the reason he got the table was that Sasha had been nice enough to save a seat for him. The time's he did eat, he would sometimes have to resort to eating outside. As though seats weren't full, every time he made his way to approach them, and ask politely if it was taken. Cadet's would become defensive, and they would pretend as if they were occupied.
Armin sometimes tried to engage in the conversation, hoping for new acquaintances. But usually, the boy was ignored and blocked out entirely. As if as soon as they heard it, they had forgotten what he had said completely, and went back to their meals.
Armin himself wasn't very hungry, his thoughts had been scattered and his curiosity had been plaguing him. Luckily, a certain brown-haired girl who sat beside him was more than thrilled to eat his meal for him.
Sasha herself, seemed more distracted on her food rather than any conversation around her. It almost seemed as if she was nearly obsessive compulsive with the way she chose to eat her food. She ate certain things first, certain things with each other, certain things when they were slightly cold, and certain things when they were steaming and fresh.
Only Armin probably had the perception to notice it, but he found it interesting and intriguing. He chose to keep himself quiet, and not disturb the munching girl. He supposed it would be best if he had a moment to collect his thoughts.
Everything around him seemed so surreal sometimes, as if this were all just a haunting nightmare that he could wake up from any moment in his grandfather's house again.
But he realized that not to be true, and this was in fact, reality. His mind wandered over the girl he knew as Annie, his mind wandered over the girl beside him, and his mind even wandered over the instructor.
Though things were hazardous and overwhelming, they have been better than they had been previously. It seemed like this new girl he met that sat beside him would be someone who he consider as a friend, and he greatly appreciated that.
It pained him to feel so lonesome and nearly hollow due to holding everything in to himself constantly, and it was nice to know he had somebody, who he could once in a while talk to.
His hands were grasped together, as his elbows leaned upon the table. His grasped hands would occasionally come up towards his mouth, only to fret away from it once more, then to eventually return.
His mind had wandered previously to where the girl with platinum blonde-hair had located herself within this hall, yet when he first arrived, and after a quick examination of his whereabouts, she was nowhere to be found.
Armin decided it was best to depart from the dining hall, and maybe go for a walk... Maybe, that could put some insight to all of this chaos.
He gently tapped the girl's shoulder beside him, as she hastily looked over to the boy... Armin's eyes widened somewhat when she had food smeared across her mouth, but he ignored it.
"...Hey, I was going to walk outside for a bit... If that's okay..." He began hesitantly, as he looked towards the girl with a small smile and a timid chuckle.
"Yoush staiehga safthe, errooakay?" The girl spoke out with her mouth full, as she gave a smile. She then gave a hasty thumbs up to Armin, as her gaze was focused on her meal the whole time.
Armin eye's widened as he had no idea what she had just said, but he assumed the thumbs-up was the girl simply accepting what he had said. So, he inferred that it was indeed, alright to leave.
He continued his smile, as he spoke up softly once more, "Thanks, Sasha." As he began to stand up, the girl spoke once more.
"Youe'resh wertcolmsh!" She said as her mouth continued to be full, and Armin this time thought he had made out what he had said.
Armin gave smile towards the girl, before he stepped over the bench; and began to make his way out of the dining hall.
As he made his way to the entrance, he walked outside. He gave a small sigh, as his once upheld lips, fell into a somber frown.
He looked up towards the sky, and saw as the moon slowly played it's midnight woe, as it bled its heartache within the clouds beside it...
The ever so fickle light that emanated from the moon, silhouetted the boy's features. He felt as the wind blew ever so gently, disturbing the still decaying fallen leaves, and causing his hair to blow rapidly around his soft features.
As Armin closed his eyes, and gently let the night embrace him for the brief moment it did. He suddenly heard the sound of dirt crunching near him, causing his eye's to shoot open rapidly.
As Armin turned, he suddenly saw the figure of a taller man. His eye's widened as he realized it was the instructor, immediately the boy held his hand to his heart, as he turned into a signature stance of respect from the higher-up.
As the figure finished it's final steps towards Armin, he slowly spoke up.
"No need for the formalities, cadet. You may drop your pose." The instructor said as he halted upon being feet away from Armin.
Armin slowly dropped his pose in confusion, as his hands resumed at being at his side. He looked up towards the instructor wondering the reason for his presence. The instructor then stared at the boy for a few seconds, before he roughly spoke up once more.
"Take a walk with me, cadet." He spoke in a emotionless tone, as he slowly began to walk towards nowhere in particular.
Armin's eyes went wide from shock at the man's request, he sat there for a moment - frozen, before he eventually pulled himself out of his disbelief and ran to catch up with the instructor.
As he made his way to catch up with the instructor, and upon his arrival, the instructor spoke once more solemnly as his gaze was directed to no where in particular.
"You know cadet, when you first arrived... The looked you possessed in your eyes told me you were lost, told me, you had no real purpose for doing any of this." The instructor spoke up sternly, as the two continued walking slowly.
"But, you managed to pique my curiosity. Yet, as I watched you... And when we first acted within the physical exercises, I had no hope for you achieving any type of status within the ranks of the military." The instructor spoke up gravely, as he continued his hollow steps.
"However, there was something I didn't notice until close inspection. And I had to make sure it was true, and not some false hope that I had. So, I had to make some drastic actions, and you have my sincerest apologies for those." The commander spoke up once more, interest inclining within his voice.
"So, I did my research. And I recall you being and conversing with two other cadets when you were here. And I have noticed how you are with the cadet's of the fourth core, and how distant you are with them compared to those two. So, I assumed those two were your friends or family." The instructor resumed, as his eyes began to trail towards the floor.
"Apparently, the one named, Eren Yaeger, is quite a rash hot-head. Yet, he apparently shows an unheard of amount of determination, and guts. While the one known as Mikasa Ackerman, nearly excels at nearly every category possible. Yet, I have read up on the cadet training reports, and read that she clings herself to the one called Eren. Before I continue, these are your friends, am I correct?" The instructor spoke up, as he looked back towards Armin. Armin hastily nodded with wide-eyes, as he continued to walk slowly behind the instructor.
"Well, I am going to tell you something now cadet. Those two are not going to last long, at least with the way they are approaching this if they uphold their words and join the Survey Corps. The boy is too focused on revenge, while the girl is too focused on the boy himself. It smells of a massive disaster in the making." The instructor continued, as Armin soaked in all of the words he said slowly.
"So, retreating to my original point. Is though, while I noticed you are physically limited compared to other cadet's. There is something else you have..." The instructor trailed off for a moment, as he chose the words he spoke next carefully.
"You see, many cadet's, including those such as Eren, jump into action before planning it within their mind's... Doing this, is a death sentence. You will not live long, you will not last long; and I don't care how strong you are, your life will end." The instructor spoke harshly, as he continued his pace with Armin trailing behind.
"Yet, though you have failed miserably on the previous physical training exercises... I watched you closely, and I saw as you picked each of the factors apart mentally... I watched as you mentally mapped out each obstruction in your mind. I know it seems like a long-shot, but I could see it within each hesitation and each you would stare with caution towards the task at hand."The instructor continued his words, as the two continued walking.
"Which is a trait that any leader has... And I trust, you are going to be following your friend into the Survey Corps, yes?" The commander spoke as he looked behind towards Armin, with a raised brow. Armin was shocked by the commander's words, but hesitantly thought about his options, before he slowly nodded. His eyes showed a slight glisten of lost hope, wondering if it truly was the most thought out decision. Yet he hid it will as he bowed his head, making certain that the instructor did not witness it.
"Well, that is what I wanted to express my interest in. While other cadets would jump into practically any situation without thought, and make subconscious foolish decisions. You managed not to, as you inwardly dissected the obstacle at hand." The instructor stopped, as he then turned around to Armin. He placed his hands behind back, as he looked towards Armin through narrowed eyes.
"I believe you three, will be able to achieve something other's have not... You all have your weaknesses, yet, I believe if you all stick by one another, you all will make quite a foe for the titans... You three have the potential of being a crushing enemy for the titans." The instructor spoke once more, as thought of the words he spoke next.
"This, being the reasoning in which of why, I had to test you. I wanted to see what you would do when you faced death, if you would cower, or if you would return. And I am glad to say, that you returned. Ready and willing to continue your training. So, I commend you for this." The instructor came to a conclusion, as Armin watched slightly with wide-eyes. He still was a bit jaded, as if this was reality or not...
"I personally, wish to express my own interest into your upcoming mental exam tomorrow.I hope to see tremendous results from you, as I can see you one day; being one of the most privileged ranks within the Survey Corps... So, I wish you luck cadet." The instructor began to walk away, as he stopped once more as he made his way beside Armin.
"Prove me wrong, and be a leader. Not a follower. I look forward to your results, Arlert." With that, the instructor took his leave; leaving Armin dumbfounded and frozen in his current stance...
His eyes were wide in shock, as he still had his mind currently tracing over all of the aspects of the instructor's miniature speech. His gaze dropped towards the floor, as the wind continued to blow hair around his face rapidly... Armin timidly began to let his thoughts wander...
'Someone... Has put their confidence in me...? That's not, Eren, or Mikasa...? And out of all people, him...?' Armin thought slowly, as he let his mind scan all of the fragments of details that now ran rampant throughout the boy's mind...
For the next hour, the boy had kept his position, in utter engulfing darkness, as he would occasionally look up towards the midnight sky, hoping the light radiating from the desolate moon would give him the answers he couldn't grasp...
Armin slowly stirred, as he began to crack his eye-lids ever so gently open... He began to see the sun emanating it's glow through the windows, creating ever so timid rays of light protruding itself, as it colliding with the worn wooden floor below.
Armin slowly kept his eyes slightly open, as they narrowed to the new-found rays of light that were now apparent upon his floor... He watched slowly as each small particle of dust danced within the light, before making its ultimate descent towards the floor below.
Armin gently raised his body, as he sat up and slowly rubbed his eyes. He looked around him timidly, as his room had kept quiet, and utterly vacant.
He slowly heard, as the sound of rapid footsteps, protruding from the hallway bled through his decaying walls...
Armin slowly tossed the blanket off of him, as he turned upon his bed, before hesitantly standing up. He was still feeling slightly unstable, still due to his recent awakening.
He slowly made it towards the small dresser, that only had one single outfit within it. He quickly pulled off the clothes that he wore before he had joined the military, which he now considered his pajamas, or at least the closest thing to pajamas.
He quickly put on his military dressings, as when he finished, he walked to the door. He paused for a moment, as he fully imported the events of today within his mind.
He wasn't nervous in the least about the mental exams, more about in the next two days when the physical exams would make their intimidating appearance. He let out a small sigh, before he opened the door, and was greeted by the exceedingly clustered hallway.
He watched as some recruits ran, while the other's walked. He even witnessed some practically sprinting, he supposed the mental exams stressed a great quantity of people to their very limits.
Armin slowly walked out towards the hallway, while shutting his door entirely. As he made his way into the hallway, he collided with at least four people in mere seconds. Nobody's pace was consistent, and it was chaos within the halls.
Armin quickly began to walk, as he realized it was the most able plan to quickly get out of these halls as soon as possible.
As he made his way down the halls, he quickly found the exit, as he quickly made his way to and out of it.
As he was outside, he slowly looked around as the harsh sunlight glared upon the boys features, causing his golden hair to nearly mirror the sun's color as it reflected it's harsh rays.
His eyes became ever so more blue, as they fully focused to the brightness around him, his eyes speckled and glistened as the sunlight fully embraced his entire figure.
As Armin looked around him, he saw very few cadets outside, and supposed he was early to making his appearance.
He timidly walked around outside, as the sunlight began to become cracked, as it made its way between the trees and the ever so fickle leaves that weakly hung on to their parent branches for the continuation of their life.
As he continued walking, he began to notice a smaller figure already in place for the instructor's addressing. As he made his way towards the figure, he began to feel himself become increasingly nervous at the sight of who the person was.
Annie Leondhart had been the first person to make her presence at the instructor's addressing, Armin found himself warmly smiling after being aware of her presence.
Armin nearly ran up to the girl, but recovered, and transformed it into something more of a hasty walk. He realized if the girl would have caught him running towards her, it would have only caused her dismay.
As Armin came closer, Annie noticed his presence, and her eyes instinctively narrowed as she ever so slightly turned them to look towards the figure coming up towards her.
As she realized who it was, she placed her gaze back in front of her. She was really hoping for some much needed solitude... And this was quite the opposite, as the childish blonde that for some reason wouldn't leave her be, greeted her with a warm smile before taking his place at her side as the formation was just beginning.
"H-Hey, Annie..." Armin began timidly, as he now stood beside the girl with a smile and hopeful, crystalline eyes.
Annie didn't reply, she wasn't about to engage in a conversation. Not with him, not with anybody. She instead kept her gaze focused directly in front of her, as she inwardly wished that she hadn't of come out here early.
Armin waited for a few seconds, before his smiled turned into a frown. He felt as the awkward tension began to fill the air, and nervously decided to try again, despite being somewhat discouraged by the girl's icy glare.
"S-So..." Armin spoke anything that came to mind as he looked downwards, "Are you n-nervous at all, for the-" Suddenly, Armin was cut off as his gaze turned towards the girl beside him.
"Why do you talk to me." Annie spoke harshly, as she continued her cold glare, not even attempting to look towards the boy.
"W-What..?" Armin replied hesitantly, as he looked over towards the girl with raised brows, as his crystalline blue eyes were filled in confusion.
"I said. Why do you talk to me. What thought goes through your mind, when you try and talk to me. Enlighten me. Please." Annie spoke sternly, as her tone turned sarcastic and threatening towards the end.
Armin thought about it for a moment as he looked towards the ground, then he resumed his smile as he looked upwards towards in front of him.
"Well... I-I thought we could be... friends...maybe..." Armin spoke out shakily in a near child like wonder, yet he realized how foolish his thought sounded out loud. He could nearly guess the manner in which she would respond...
"Friends?" She replied in near disbelief, she let her eyes glance over towards his way as she processed what he had just said. She really couldn't believe what he had just said, how old was he? How old could he have been to be so damned immature?
"Y-Yeah." Armin spoke happily, as he glanced back towards the girl, flashing her a warm smile while slightly tilting his head. Annie returned her eyes to land back in front of her once more, as she then, began her reply.
"If you joined the Trainee Corps to make friends, then you truly are an imbecile." She spoke coldly, as she still tried to wrap her mind about his concept of friendship, while the whole human race was nearly doomed by being obliterated by titans.
Armin returned his gaze towards in front of him, as he let his gaze drop downwards with a frown.
"...I suppose you're right..." Armin began quietly as he spoke in a dejected tone. He continued to stare towards the ground with slightly downhearted eyes.
Annie let her eyes glance over towards the boy, as she was surprised that her words got to him so easily. She supposed he was going to be stubborn, and be unwilling to let up on something as idiotic as this. But to her revelation, he dropped it, and just awaited the instructor.
As he did, she couldn't tell if she felt the smallest glisten of pity within her, or if it was just her imagination. She decided whatever it was, she was to have none of it, and vowed that she wouldn't let her fleeting stomach obstacles obstruct what she had joined the Trainee Corps for in the first place.
She was not about to let some hopeful misfit plague her chances of making the top ten. She needed to keep her mind on training, and nothing else. Not friendship, not people, nor anything else that didn't relate to the path she was pursuing.
Suddenly, mass chatter became more evident to the two, as swarms of cadet's began to arrive at their current position.
It mirrored the actions of the hall, as some cadet's ran, others walked, and others even jogged. But, they soon all got into their proper positions, as they all began to create the formation.
The rest of the cadets littered into their proper positions, as the instructor slowly watched as he kept a unhurried pace as he made his way towards the front of the cadets.
Armin and Annie both watched as everybody got into their correct formations, Annie keeping her cold glare, while Armin tried to dismiss the excursion that left him sorrowful, and to focus on the task at hand. Excelling at the mental test, and hopefully proving there was something useful within him...
The instructor halted, as he slowly let his gaze trot back and forth between the mass of cadets. He then, roughly spoke up.
"Today, you will be taking the fourth core mental exams. I look forward to the results, and wish you luck. It should go without saying, but if you attempt to cheat, tamper, or copy. You will discontinue your career within the military. You all may leave to your exam, now." He spoke slightly more calmly than he would have previously, as nearly all the cadet's went slightly went wide-eyed in surprise.
He then stood in silence for a moment, as he then turned around and made his leave...
The cadet's made their ways towards the exam quarters, as Armin stood for a second, still puzzled by the tone of the instructor's voice.
Armin wasn't positive... But he could have swore that the instructor had glanced at him specifically for a few seconds, while he had kept silent... Armin quickly shook his head, as he caught up with the rest of the cadet's.
It wasn't likely... But he felt as if what he saw was true... Maybe the instructor, truly did have an interest within his abilities... Yet he couldn't help but wonder...
What abilities...?
To Be Continued...
Hey all! :) Hope you all enjoyed this, I'm actually hoping for the next chapter to come out by tonight as well. I'm trying to keep a rapid upload pace if I can haha. :D Thanks! And I hope you enjoyed! ^_^
