This is (about) one year after the couple's first kiss. So yeah, there is a time jump. I will quote one of my friends: 'Read on!'

Disclaimer: Tite Kubo owns Bleach.


They didn't have a big wedding. That disappointed a lot of people.

They couldn't afford everybody knowing that two of the strongest Captains were getting wed. That would lead to trouble and weakness in the future.

Yet somehow, by the end of the day, every Seated Officer knew that the two were married. All thanks to the notorious Shinigami Women's Association.

All that the two Captains did that technically officiated the marriage was asking Yamamoto and Central 46 for their blessing.

They also invited a few Captains and Lieutenants over to celebrate.

All in all, it was chaos when the Captains found out. In the beginning, the couple's close friends Yoruichi Shihion and Isshin Shiba were the only people who knew about the arrangement.

At a Captain's meeting, Yoruichi thought it would a great idea to shove Retsu in the middle of the empty space between all the Captains. Then in an 'oblivious' voice, Yoruichi asked "Is there anything you would like to say to conclude this meeting Captain Unohana?"

Urahara bit his fist at his wife's confused face in an attempt to conceal the laughter that would soon ensue.

"What's that Kisuke? Was there something you would like to add?" Yoruichi asked as Isshin, who was next to him pushed him forward as he snickered.

Urahara bravely turned to the front of the room and placed his hand behind his neck as he asked...

"Is alcohol allowed in here?"

He then pointed at Shunsui Kroyaku who was conveniently using the awkward situation as an opportunity to sip his Sake.

Where he got it from, to this day no one knows.

"What?! How did he get that past security?" Asked Captains Rojuro Otoribashi and Love Aikawa at the same time.

Kroyaku glared at Urahara for throwing him under the bus as every one reminisced about that awful time.

"One time that I throw up at a Captain's meeting and now I need a pat down every damn meeting?! What about that time Kirio Hikifune brought that cage in? Everyone forget about that?" groaned an outraged Kroyaku.

In less than five minutes, most of the Captains in the meeting hall were pointing out the other's issues. No one dared to address Retsu Unohana or Genrei Kuchiki. Yoruichi, who cared less about what anyone said to her grinned as Kensei Muguruma called a nervous Kisuke an old man and as Yoruichi herself was called a rat-eater.

"I'm around the same age as you." Urahara muttered as Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto ordered for silence.

"Speak Captains Unohana and Urahara. What is it you wanted to say?"

Urahara took another step forward and bluntly asked...

"May I gain permission to marry Captain Retsu Unohana?"

Instead of everyone looking at Urahara in shock, they all directed their attention to Unohana as she sheepishly backed away with her usually pale face now a vivid red shade.

Everyone in the room suddenly shouted "You're marrying HIM?!"

Urahara's smile dissipated as he glared at everyone in annoyance. Especially Kensei for calling him an 'Old Man'. "Yes, I'm marrying Retsu... Why...you jealous?" said a snobby Urahara. He'd been spending too much time with Hiyori...

That sentence caused a riot of infatuated men to attack Urahara.

Captains Unohana, Yoruichi, and Kuchiki backed up as all of the rest of the captains started to fight and bicker.

"Such a shame," said an on-looking Genrei Kuchiki. "I was going to try to arrange a marriage between you and my grandson, Byakuya."

Unohana only stared at the man in shock as Yoruichi draped her arm around her and yelled above the noise "No. I think that wouldn't have been as entertaining as this shit!"

Suddenly out of nowhere, all Unohana heard was,

"Flower Wind Rage and Heavenly Demon Sneer Katen Kyotsu!"

Everyone stared at Kroyaku who was now armed with his Shikai as he told everyone to back away slowly and started listing requests.

"First, I want an unlimited amount of alcohol.

Second, I want to ban the Prohibition of alcohol in this dump..."

By the time this was happening, Yamamoto had walked out sporting a massive migraine.

After a while...

"...Forty-fifth of all...Was that right?" Shunsui had asked Ukitake who was urging him to put his Zanpakuto down.

"No, you were on sixty." replied an honest Ukitake.

Retsu Unohana was on her way to the door to try to escape when none-other than Shinji Hirako noticed her. He squirmed his way out of the (STILL) fighting crowd and ran up to her.

"Hey Unohana... Is it true? Are you really going to marry him? He's a slacker who is always late to meetings. He was twenty minutes late for this one!"

Unohana was slightly offended. You NEVER get Unohana offended even if it's only a little. If you loved yourself and were content with your life, you wouldn't pull this stunt that Hirako did.

"Am I supposed to act as if you're not a slacker...Shinji Hirako? Now, I suggest that you get back to your childish fight Captain." said an evil-smiling Retsu.

Shinji's face paled greatly and he backed away into a corner. There, he curled himself up into a fetal position and sniffled.

Retsu Unohana walked out the door to go to her calming barracks. Everyone turned toward Shinji and showed concern for the grown man.

"Sh-Shinji...are-you okay?" asked Ninth Division Captain Kensei Muguruma as he nudged the crying man with his foot.

Nobody except Isshin Shiba, Yoruichi Shihoin, and Kisuke Urahara would dare tease Unohana after that.


(A/N) I was trying to go for Humor. I don't know if it worked...


Unohana was sitting on her porch and quietly sipping soothing tea when suddenly Urahara's infamous assistant Mayuri Kurotsuchi approached her with a large frown.

She saw him out of the corner of her eye and turned to face him.

"You again..." she said with a hint of vengeful thoughts in her head. Mayuri rolled his eyes and sat down next to her.

"I already said I was sorry for sending all of those specimen to the Fourth last week."

"Patients. The're still recuperating. And it was a month ago."

Mayuri looked confused. "Really...it was that long ago? That's odd, it was just a small amount of a deadly virus."

"Why are you here?" Retsu said changing the subject.

"Well, I just came by to ask the question everyone's been asking."

Mayuri and Unohana had a...let's just say undefined relationship. Like every friendship, it had it's ups and downs.

Mostly downs.

But they got along when necessary and Mayuri always tried to beat her at everything. Although it was not a faint-hearted feat to challenge the Captain of the Fourth.

Unohana sighed "Yes, I am going to marry him. That's how everyone's been mentioning him whenever I am around. What is so wrong about me marrying him? What went wrong? I mean Central 46 agreed with the marriage after I told them that I loved him. And truly, I do."

"Come on, it can't be that bad. I heard that Kisuke was given an important mission to display his responsibility. Must be top class or something of that kind because Yamamoto assigned it to him specifically."

Retsu started tearing up.

"He *sniffle* was ordered to take care of a goldfish. a GOLDFISH."

Mayuri started dying of laughter and then stopped suddenly as he realized something...

"Are you...CRYING?"

Retsu wiped away the tears with her long sleeve and answered with simplicity.

"Yes I am... Don't worry about it. It's just the hormones."

"Hormones? W-what do you mean hormones? W-wait...are you currently bearing a human child in your womb?" asked Mayuri in shock.

"Well, that's basically what pregnancy is so...yes?"

"Well, who is the other parental guardian of this odd creation?"

Unohana looked at him with an 'Are you serious?' face. "Who else would it be? Who else do I have a relationship with?"

Mayuri gasped even more but soon died of laughter.

"That moron?! Does he know? Does anyone else know?"

"N-No, I haven't told him yet. I wanted it to be a surprise. Only you and Head-Captain Yamamoto know of this." She said addressing her child. "Do not tell anyone. I only trusted you because if any thing were to try to harm the child, it would be you trying to dissect me. So, I am telling you now before you try to 'volunteer' me for another failed experiment of yours. Now leave me in peace to think."

She decided to tell her husband later at a more reasonable time.


Since there are occasionally those questions that leave someone in a cliff hanger, I thought I should indulge in some high-class originality!

How will Urahara react to the news of a child? What does the mischievous Shinigami Women's Association have up their sleeves? What will happen to the gold-fish?

Find out more in the next few Chapters...

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