Starry Starry Night


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She was too proud to admit she was under attack, but she wasn't above seeking a little comfort. She rang her father instead of waiting for his regular call. "Hey Dad. How are you holding up?"

"Will it sound terrible if I admit to missing our simple life at the cabin? I mean, I know you were hurting and bored and sequestered…"

She cut him off, "I know what you mean. Life was pure, the air was clean, and the sounds of crickets meant I never once heard a siren the entire time I was there."

"Yeah. But too much of a good thing makes you question things."

"Dad." Damn if it wasn't true. She was always waiting for the next blow, the next murder, the next battle to fight. She always appreciated finding the dark world of homicide to make her life seem normal. Then she learned that even murder could be lighter under the deft touch of the master of the macabre. She shook off her involuntary thoughts of him

"I went."

A lifetime of experience enabled Jim to deduce the planetarium was now the topic. "Let me guess. It was boring because you knew more than they did?"

"If I did it's because you taught me well. Actually I found it humorous. Every time the narrator spoke about a constellation, I heard one of Mom's made up names."

He chuckled at the coming pun, "Her astronomical intelligence made her befuddlement and fake names priceless."

"Leo wasn't a lion; Leo was called Tolstoy and the constellation looked like a mouse with a tail held high."

"Well, you were planning on studying Russian Literature. Leave it to your mother to combine interests."

"Is that why Libra became Scales of Justice?" Katie chuckled at the memory.

"Cancer became Dancer the reindeer and she insisted on a Christmas in July."

"The onion instead of Orion." Oh so many layers… She groaned at that thought. Kate processed the memory. "They were too clever to be random. She did it on purpose, didn't she?"

"I am very sure I don't know what you are talking about. Your brilliant mother, who you take after, would never intentionally appear stupid about a topic that meant so much to you and I."

The trained investigator came to the (now) obvious conclusion. "She pretended incompetence so we could have father/daughter bonding time. Damn. How many years has she been gone and I am still learning new things about her?"

"Did you take anyone special with you to gaze at the stars?"

"Yes." She hated he was thinking of Castle and the truth would be more melancholy. "I took Captain Montgomery's girls. Afterwards we went to a midnight madness sale and stayed out ridiculously late." The 3 of them had fun. It was as if the night and stars and moon gave them cover to throw off the darkness and let go for a few hours.

"How are they doing?"

"Surprisingly well. Roy was badly hurt in a high speed chase when the girls were younger, and he told them regularly that every day after that was bonus time."

They were both quiet processing memories and the snare of tragedy that surrounded them.

"The narrator at the planetarium gave some mythological stories. The girls like the one about Queen Cassiopeia bragging about her daughter Andromeda who was a mere mortal and the comparison angered the goddesses. Neptune sent out a whale to devour her. She was chained to a rock and left to her fate."

"Kate, I know your mind. You'll try to twist the tale and find links where none exist. Last month it was the lion and the mice and now it's mythology. Yes, your mother used to brag about you; yes you're beautiful, and yes, you are a mere mortal. But you're not chained to a rock. At least you don't have to be. You studied too much literature in college."

"Did you know Castle is called the White Whale by the husband hunting women?"

"Kate." He paused. Then tried to undermine her. "Is that better or worse than Moby Dick?"

(…)


ReTweeted: Rookie: what you get if Nikki and Rook have a baby!

Facebook posting by Anonymous:

Remember the fairytale where the lion let the mouse live and then later the mouse repays the favor by chewing the ropes to free him? In this day and age the fairy tale got twisted.

They, the mice, scurried in the darkness admiring the king of beasts. The regal brute with handsome mane tolerated the little creatures but he had eyes only for a lioness. The minions from the castle wanted to curry favor so they watched the lioness. They heard the shot from the hunter and rejoiced it didn't kill her. That would have marred the balance of the urban jungle. The mice used the rope to ensnare the lioness hoping to domesticate her. Never mind it was the job of the lioness and her pride (group of lions which hunt together) to roam the savannah. The wound made her susceptible to the snare, the ropes, and the nets that encircled her. They tried with all their might to drag the lioness into the castle…


Like it or not, it was time to quit hiding in the shadows. She easily passed her psyche evaluation. The therapy she did after her mother's death was enough training to know all the right things to say and how to present actions in a positive light. Working out meant she was trying to regain her health. The trick was to make sure the number of hours you did it was hidden so he didn't realize she was working towards exhaustion. She talked about reconnecting with Maddy and forgot to mention how she pushed away Lanie. She talked about getting closer to her father and forgot about how she punished herself by pushing Castle away. The sunshine needed to reach into her rabbit hole again, no matter how unwilling she felt. It was time to go back into the world. It was time to face the consequences of her exile from the light in her life.

You have 1 new voice mail message.

"Strike 2! You show up back at work without coming to see me? I've kept my cool, but if you don't call and apologize it won't be pretty." Lanie was pissed.

Kate needed to throw her girl a bone. Face the music. Bite the bullet. Whoa, where did that phrase come from? Regardless, Lanie was a good woman and a great friend and she needed to start making amends. It would be a good distraction from the creepy vibe her apartment was giving off.

Instead of hello, "Would ice cream, chocolate, and girl talk be enough of a peace offering?" Kate waited, sufficiently hopeful since her call was answered instead of ignored.

After another minute of silence hung in the air before the terms were dictated, "Is it my favorite flavor of ice cream, or have you forgotten what kind I like?"

"Just because I forgot to call you doesn't mean I forgot about you."

"What if I told you I wanted a chocolate sprinkles with the ice cream?"

"Got it." That request was too easy.

"What I really want on top the chocolate sprinkles is a chocolate covered cherry."

"Got it." A smile came through in her voice.

Lanie pushed her friend. "No, not cherry cordials but cherries dipped in dark chocolate."

"Got it." Sing song voice implied the challenge was too easy.

She wasn't getting off that easy. "Hmmm. I also feel like chocolate covered peanuts would be good on that bowl of brain freeze."

"Got it." Now she was just plain showing off.

"Topped with chocolate covered marshmallows."

Kate popped one in her mouth. "Got it. And it's 'eally 'ood!"

Damn. Maybe she was sorry. "No, I changed my mind. This is more of a chocolate dip strawberry night."

"Lanie, I got it." Her voice was full of feeling.

Parish got it, too. "Okay, one last demand. You've better share some damn good BFF secrets."

"If you hurry before the chocolate melts…"

In record time Lanie was there to appraise the spread. Everything she teased her girl about wanting was really there and more. Assorted chocolates. Chocolate wine. She even had spoons dipped in chocolate. Dr. Parish took in more than the scene. Beckett wasn't masking her emotions tonight. Vincent's song was playing in the background. The air had a chill in it. Hopefully it was in deference to the heat-susceptible treats. The only thing melting was Lanie's heart. "Girl, you went a little overboard."

Kate pulled her into a fierce hug. "I'm sorry. You know how I get. How I deal…"

"Fine, but enough is enough. I'm waiting to see if I have to be a medial professional and point out all the PTSD symptoms, or whether my girl is really back." Maybe the cooler room was symbolic of a cooler head? A cooler heart? Time to find out. She dissected Beckett with a piercing stare.

"Let's see if this helps. I finally broke up with Josh. I didn't do it sooner because I didn't want him to take it as traumatic reaction. That's the biggest mess I've been cleaning up since I got back from the cabin. Tonight I came home from work and hated that I was still thinking about my motorcycle man. If I didn't trust him I'd swear he was in here earlier." She handed over a plate and picked up a few chocolate pretzels to nibble on.

"Wow. I didn't see that one coming." Lanie grabbed an array of goodies and followed to the couch. "I thought you'd be all, 'I owe him my life' and you'd be more stubborn than ever about trying to make it work." A nagging doubt crept into her mind. Not that Kate would tell her, but… "Did he do something stupid to make you break up with him?"

Yeah, he did something really, really stupid, but that was only part of why they broke it off. Aloud she responded, "No, he's over us. I really liked him and I wanted it work, but it wasn't going to."

The medical examiner was trained to notice detail. "Kate, so help me God, if he slept with another woman because he couldn't wait long enough to let you heal, I will kill him."

"Geeze, Lanie, no, nothing like that. Not everything is about sex. And I'm back to work. You can't say things like you'll kill someone around me." Idle threats were no longer idle to Beckett. Big or small, lethal or mundane, she now took them all seriously.

"You know I could do it. But I'd probably settle for a nice little fungal infection that would take him a while to get over."

"So every guy I'm with has to worry about you if they upset me?"

Lanie marveled at the deeper question. The stoic and strong detective needed reassurance. "There are few people in this world I'd put it all on the line for. You are one of those people. I want to see you happy and if some guy messes with your heart, I just might make him pay."

"Even if it were Castle?"

Definitely cooling her heels. "Kate, what did he do to make you push him away?"

"Lane, asked and answered. You asked me that before and my answer is the same. He did nothing wrong. He would have done everything just right. He would have been a perfect avalanche of support and care the best of everything that money could buy. I would have suffocated. Gone Stockholm syndrome and never knew if it was what I was feeling was gratitude or something stronger. And sorry, but my dad got dibs on me."

Ok, if Castle didn't do something wrong in the past what prompted her to bring him up? She pushed the issue, "So you think Castle will hurt you at some point in the future?"

"You threatened to hurt Josh if he hurt me. It's an easy threat to make when you don't know or care about the other person. But you just work with Castle and I know you are pissed at me for pushing him away. I wonder how messed up things would be if we ever got together and he hurt me." The justification was thin. What really prompted the question was his fans coming after her in the own special ways. Beckett wasn't as good at walling off things as she used to be.

"Really, if you have to ask then I need to step up my game as your BFF. That last letter means I picked my side. Even Javi knows not to question that dynamic. He's sitting at my place alone because you got priority. And if you and Castle part ways in some messy manner, well, he'll have a horrific experience to write about in this next book. So, you brought up Castle's name. I didn't. Is this what you wanted to talk about?"

"Lanie, you heard about Josh from me. That's my peace offering to our friendship."

"There's more to the story. Give me a little dirt." Lanie always wanted the dirt.

The anger was at the recollection of the next tidbit. "I heard Josh pushed Rick in the hospital. While I was in surgery he had the gall to blame Castle for me getting shot. No matter how much I liked the Dr. Motorcycle Boy, I could never forgive him for that. My dad refuses to speak his name he was so pissed at Josh."

"Papa B wasn't the only one. You know what a bromance the guys got going on! Javi was ready to have a man to man talk with your pretty boy. I backed him down."

The sigh was one of resignation and sorrow and longing and… "I may have pushed Castle away, but I couldn't stay away from him. I studied him all summer via cyberspace. I was really bummed when he stopped tweeting 'due to recent heartbreaking events.' I watched every interview he's ever given. I read all the articles about him. I visited all his fan sights and kept up on all his discussion boards."

Lanie managed to reign in squeal of delight but not her effervescent smile. "Now we're getting somewhere!"

The green eyes looked wistful. "The truth about Castle? I told him to give me space but I didn't think he would."

Lanie guessed correctly, "You were counting on the fact if he can't stay in the car at a crime scene, he wouldn't stay away."

She shrugged. "At first I really did need space. I was on heavy meds, Josh was being so sweet, and Castle, well, his face is the last one I saw before the blackness took over. When I saw his anguish…" oops, close call. The dying declaration was reburied. "I'm talking about in the hospital; I would have done anything to make that go away. So I asked for space."

"Yeah, you spent all summer reading fan fiction stories about how Rook was chained to Nikki's side, lived on coffee, slept on hard plastic chairs and nursed her back to life."

"Lanie, how would you know about all those stories unless you spent all summer reading them?" They shared a guilty grin, but Kate went back to serious. "The reality is my father was the one who lived on coffee, slept in a chair and nursed me back to health. Castle's version is Nikki sitting faithfully with Rook's future uncertain."

"Stop! You are trying to complicate this. You figured Writer boy would just show up at some point. Were you surprised he wasn't at the precinct today?" Another shrug was all the answer she was going to get. Lanie paused then let her have it. "So you got to be pissed at Castle no matter what."

"What no! Why would you say that?" Beckett was surprised by Lanie's conclusion.

"If he stayed away it means he didn't care and if he showed up it means he didn't listen. Guess what girlfriend. He cared enough to respect your wishes. Question is, do you care enough to make it right?"

The averted eyes weren't quick enough. Lanie called her on it again.

"Oh, so that's why I'm here. You don't miss me. You miss Castle. I'm here to threaten your ass so you can say I made you call him."

"Yes I missed you, but I thought you'd enjoy being able to hold me accountable. I'm going to track him down at a book signing later and I really don't know if he'll even speak to me."

"Why are you going after him? For you mother's case (yes, Javi gave me an update) or because you want things back the way they were or because you owe him an apology?"

"Because I owe him an explanation. I'm sorry if acting in what I thought was my own best interest hurt other people's feelings, but I deal with things on my own. Anybody who knows me knows that." She stopped talking to see if the double message which was also meant for Lanie was getting through. Since her girlfriend smiled, Kate continued, "I owe Castle the same respect he gave me: I need to find out if he wants to come back and respect his decision whatever it is."

The doctor looked sly. "You know what this means? You better report to the morgue tomorrow with an update! It's good to have you back, all the way back, Kate."

"Yea, ok, enough talk. There is a lot of chocolate to eat before it melts!" Maybe, just maybe, Katherine Beckett's heart was melting.


Twitter: OMG I saw #WriteRCastle at The Old Haunt. He wouldn't sign my boobs but I did get a picture with him!

ReTweet: My idea of a graphic novel is Rook & Heat having more sex scenes!

Facebook: Check out the discussion threat about How to Make a Richard Castle Sundae. Too funny!


Author's note: The tweets are the beginning are from Montgomery's girls. I hope no one really has these names becuase I made them up and didn't bother to check. I hope this chapter softens the last one...