- Chapter 6 -
Oolong the Terrible
Dirt Path, Mount Paozu
Goku and Ukyo laughed giddily as they zipped through the sky on the Nimbus cloud, with Bulma, now wearing a red jacket and sneakers, tan shorts, and a red cap bearing her name, riding behind them on her motorcycle, trying her best to keep up.
Bulma looked up at the twins as they pulled off several tricks. "Hey, you two! Pay attention to where you're going!" she yelled. "You're not invincible, y'know!"
As soon as she said that, Bulma let out a loud scream as she careened off of the dirt path and over a steep hill, landing with a loud crash and falling off of her motorcycle. Seeing this, Goku and Ukyo descended to check on her, seeing her sitting on the ground, the three-star Dragon Ball at her feet.
"Are you okay, Bulma?" Goku asked. Bulma let out a pained groan as she stood up, rubbing her rear.
"Does it look like I'm okay, you twerps?!" she snapped.
Goku shrugged. "No, I guess not."
"You really don't have to call us names, y'know," Ukyo said matter-of-factly as she and Goku jumped off of the Nimbus. It was only then that the twins looked down and saw that the Dragon Ball was glowing again.
"Bulma, look!" Goku exclaimed as he picked the ball up and held it out to her. Taking notice, Bulma's pained expression quickly changed to an excited smile, and she swiped the ball out of Goku's hands.
"You guys know what this means?!" she said excitedly. "The fifth ball is close! This is great!"
"Hey, guys, look!" Ukyo shouted, pointing down the path. "There's a village down that way!"
Goku and Bulma turned, and sure enough, there was a village at the end of the path. "Good eye, kid!" Bulma said.
"You think the ball might be there?" Goku asked.
Bulma rushed over to her bike and righted it. "Well, there's only one way to find out."
With that, the trio got back on their respective rides and sped down the road to the village.
Aru Village, Mount Paozu
Goku, Bulma, and Ukyo passed under the gate, which had a sign reading "Aru Village" attached. They stopped in the center of the village, seeing several dome-shaped houses, but no people. The village was seemingly deserted.
"Where is everybody?" Ukyo asked as she and Goku hopped off of the Nimbus. While she and Goku looked around for signs of life, Bulma reached into her bag.
"Let's see what the radar says," she said, pulling the Dragon Radar out and turning it on. "Yep. The fifth Dragon Ball's here, all right." With that, she put the radar away and looked around.
"It's too quiet," she said. "Maybe this village has been deserted."
Goku shook his head. "No, there are people here. I can feel it."
Bulma turned to him. "Are you sure, Goku? It seems like an old ghost town to me."
Ukyo nodded. "He's right. I can feel it, too."
Bulma shrugged. "If you say so." With that, the trio started looking around.
"Hello?" Ukyo called. "Is anybody here?!"
"Come on out!" Goku added.
"Is anybody home?" Bulma yelled. "Hello?!" Ukyo turned toward a nearby house, seeing someone or something briefly peak out from behind a curtain before ducking away.
"Guys, I think I saw someone at that window over there," she said, pointing.
"This is getting freaky," Bulma said simply.
"There's gotta be a reason why they won't come out here," Goku said. "And I'm gonna find out!" With that, he made his way over to the house Ukyo indicated, the door reading "Sherman Priest."
"Sherman Priest?" Bulma said, more to herself than the twins. "He must be the guy who lives here." Goku shrugged, pounding on the door.
"Hello!" he called as he did so. "I know you're in there!" After a moment of silence, he knocked a bit quieter. "Hello?"
"I hope they're not in some sort of trouble," Bulma said quietly.
Ukyo decided to give it a try. Gently pushing Goku out of the way, she drew back her fist and punched a hole in the door.
"That did the trick," she said, smiling as she pulled the door open.
Bulma rolled her eyes as Goku and Ukyo stepped through the door. "Ever consider using the handle?"
Ukyo shrugged her shoulders as she and Goku crossed the threshold. "Wow, it's dark in here."
Without warning, a figure jumped out from the darkness with a cry, an axe in his hand. Goku had just enough time to push Ukyo out of the way before the axe blade buried itself into his head-
-and promptly shattered into pieces on contact. However, he didn't come out completely unharmed either, a large lump sprouting out from his head.
A split second passed before Goku clutched his head, dancing around and letting out pained yelps as Bulma looked on in shock that he survived an axe to the head.
The lights flickered on, and the figure was now clearly visible, being a balding old man with a thick black mustache and glasses, clad in a dark yellow sweatshirt and blue denim overalls. He dropped his axe in shock.
"Oh, no!" he said. "It's just as I feared. I should've known."
Goku glared at him, drawing his Power Pole as Ukyo stepped forward, equally angry.
"What'd you do that for?!" he snapped. "That didn't tickle, y'know!" Ukyo clenched her fists and was about to attack the man herself, before something they never expected happened.
The man, who was undoubtedly the Sherman Priest mentioned on the door, got down on his knees and clasped his hands in a begging position. "Oh, please forgive me, Mr. Oolong!" he pleaded. "I know it was foolish of me to try to attack you, but I'd rather die than lose my daughter! Please, don't take her away from me! I'll do anything!"
Goku and Ukyo exchanged confused glances before relaxing. "Hold on a second," Goku said. "I think you've got me mixed up with someone else. My name's Goku."
"It's not him, Dad," a young girl's voice added, with all four of the others turning to see a little girl around Goku and Ukyo's age with brown hair in pigtails, wearing a headband with a bird's feather in it, popping up from behind a nearby desk.
Meanwhile, outside, the people were coming out of their houses and crowding around.
Some time later...
Goku sat patiently, Ukyo and Bulma standing off to the side with Sherman, as Sherman's daughter, who's name was Pochawompa (1), wet a white cloth in a bowl of water and wrung it out, carrying it over to Goku.
"This should help," she said as she put the rag over the sizable bump on Goku's head, Goku hissing in pain on contact. "What a thick head!" she said in surprise.
Ukyo turned to Sherman. "Honestly, is this how you normally greet people?" she asked.
"You could have killed him!" Bulma added, glaring at him.
Sherman looked at them with a bit of remorse on his face. "I thought he was Oolong!" he replied. "I was just trying to protect my daughter."
Goku looked over at Pochawompa at that. "Daughter?" he said. "Does that mean you're a girl?"
Before Pochawompa could answer, Goku reached over and patted her area with his hand, Pochawompa recoiling and blushing.
Goku smiled and pointed at her. "Yep, I thought so," he said. "You're a girl, all right!"
Within seconds, Bulma dashed over to Goku and punched him in the back of the head. Goku let out a yelp of pain and turned to glare at Bulma.
"What'd you do that for?!" he demanded. Bulma stomped her foot as she glared right back.
"Guess, Einstein!" she shouted. Almost immediately, Ukyo dashed over to Bulma and kicked her in the shin, Bulma yelping and rubbing it.
"Why, you little..." she began, only to be met with a glare from Ukyo.
"Goku's been hit in the head once already, you big meanie!" she spat. Bulma bit back a curse and took her hand off of her bruised shin, composing herself before turning back to Sherman.
"So what does this Oolong do that makes everyone so afraid of him?" she asked. In response, Pochawompa burst into tears and ran into her father's arms, Sherman hugging her gently before turning back to Bulma.
"He's our worst nightmare," he replied. "He's a blackness that has descended on our village. A monster who treats us like his toys."
Bulma raised an eyebrow. "That bad?"
"Much worse!" Sherman replied.
"How so?" Ukyo asked.
Flashback
A puff of yellow smoke appeared before their village, and a monstrous, green creature with one red eye, three horns, and sharp claws and teeth loomed over them, growling and sending the villagers screaming into their homes.
"Well, somehow, this terrible creature has the power to change into any shape it wants to!" Sherman explains.
As it loomed over the village, the creature suddenly changed into a monstrous horned pig, a blue reptilian creature with red hair and a forked tongue, and finally a pale-skinned vampire, capturing young girls as it went.
"Instead of one nightmare, we're cursed by many," Sherman continued. "No one knows his real identity. We just know he wants our daughters. That monster's kidnapped three girls from the village already!"
Goku, Ukyo, and Bulma all exchanged looks as Sherman continued his explanation.
"And yesterday, my darkest fears came true. He wants my daughter, Pochawompa..."
Oolong, in the form of a monstrous red ogre in a tiger-print loincloth, loomed threateningly over Sherman and Pochawompa, holding a club.
"Today's your lucky day, Sherman Priest!" Oolong declared, his voice booming. "I've decided to honor your house by taking your daughter's hand in marriage tomorrow!" With that, he turned around and stomped off.
"Pack your bag, Pochawompa, and don't worry about the dowry tab!" Oolong said as he went, laughing maniacally and stomping on a house as he went.
Flashback Over
Bulma looked rather impassive, but Goku and Ukyo were visibly disgusted.
"What a bully!" Ukyo spat.
Goku thought for a moment. "Maybe we can trap him when he comes back again." This got him surprised reactions from the villagers.
"How will you do that?" Sherman asked, pulling away from his daughter. "He's bigger than this house! My word, you don't get it, do you? Oolong would squish you like a little bug! There's no way to stop this monster."
The villagers shook in fear from that as Sherman decided to change the subject. "So tell us, why have you three come here anyway?"
Bulma smiled. "I'll show you." With that, she removed her backpack and dug through it until she found one of the Dragon Balls.
"We came to find a ball that matches that one," Ukyo explained, pointing to the Dragon Ball as Sherman took it from Bulma to examine.
"Hmm, strange," he said. "It's very beautiful... but I've never seen anything like it."
"Well, I have," spoke up someone from the door. They turned to see an elderly woman with a cane enter. "Young lady, my name is Grandma Paozu. I have the matching one."
Bulma rubbed her hands together gleefully. "I knew there was one here!"
"Well, how 'bout that?" Sherman said simply.
"Can we see it, please?" Ukyo asked. Grandma Paozu nodded and dug through her pocket, removing a ball identical to the one Bulma pulled out, but with six stars. "Here it is!"
Bulma smiled. "The six-star ball!"
"Cool!" said Ukyo. "Will you give it to us?"
Grandma Paozu shook her head. "I'm not going to give this ball away. It's been in my family for generations."
"Drat..." Bulma said, before an idea hit her. "Would you... give us your Dragon Ball if we could get rid of that Oolong creep, get the girls back, and return your village to a peaceful place again?" The villagers gaped at her in disbelief.
"By yourselves?" Sherman asked.
Grandma Paozu raised an eyebrow. "Now listen, I may be old, but I'm not gullible. How could the three of you defeat Oolong?"
Bulma smiled proudly. "Well, Goku, Ukyo, and I are quite a team, ma'am," she turned to Goku and Ukyo. "Right?" At that moment, Bulma's eyes widened at the sight of Goku patting down Grandma Paozu's area, and the other villagers gaping at him. This prompted an immediate face-fault from Bulma.
Goku pointed at Grandma Paozu. "So you're a girl, aren't you?"
Grandma Paozu turned red and turned away, chuckling. "What a rascal!" At that moment, Bulma quickly darted over and thumped Goku on the head again.
"Are you CRAZY?!" she screamed in Goku's face as he rubbed his head in pain. "Please stop doing that!" She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation, just as Ukyo kicked her in the shin again.
"And you stop doing that!" the younger girl snapped as Bulma hopped up and down, rubbing her shin.
One of the villagers outside raised an eyebrow. "Do you think that you and those kids really have a chance to beat Oolong, miss?"
Bulma stopped hopping and relaxed. "Yeah, I think we have a good chance," she replied. "Goku and Ukyo are a little on the puny side, but they pack a wallop," she turned to the Son twins, who were glowering at her. "Don't you, kids?"
"More than you," Ukyo shot back. Bulma shrugged and turned back to the villagers. "I'm Bulma. I'm the brains of the outfit."
Sherman gulped. "Would you forgive me for hitting you? We'd appreciate your help."
"Sure," Goku replied.
Another villager, the man who had spoke up earlier, entered. "There's a legend that speaks of two children who would come to liberate our people, but we always thought it was just folklore."
A younger woman spoke up. "Bulma, it would be the answer to all my prayers if you brought my baby back!"
Another villager, wearing a feathery headdress, came in and took Goku and Ukyo's hands. "You have my blessing, young warriors. Your courage stands like a great monument before my people."
Ukyo smiled, before turning to Bulma. "So, how are we gonna trap Oolong?"
Bulma smirked and chuckled. "I just thought of a great idea."
-X-
A few minutes later, Goku came out of the bathroom, wearing a dress and apron similar to Pochawompa's, with a pink-and-red spotted scarf hiding his hair. He was visibly annoyed by the situation as Ukyo stifled laughter.
"All right!" Bulma cheered. "You look great, kid! You'd be totally charming if you smiled a bit more!"
Goku scoffed. "There's not much to smile about. Can't we come up with a different plan?"
Bulma shook her head. "Sorry, no time."
Pochawompa smiled in approval. "Gosh, Goku. You make a really pretty girl." This didn't help Goku's attitude.
"Why couldn't Ukyo do it instead?" he asked.
Ukyo giggled. "'Cause I thought it'd be funnier for you to do it instead."
"Now, remember," said Bulma, "don't blow your cover. He has to think you're Pochawompa. The important thing is to find out where he's keeping the girls. After that, you can handle it any way you want to."
Goku sighed. "Alright, I'll do it. But I'm not gonna like this one little bit."
At that moment, thunderous footsteps sounded, and the room began to shake.
"It's Oolong!" shouted Sherman. "He's coming!"
-X-
Indeed, at that very moment, Oolong was stomping towards the village, in the form of the red ogre he had appeared as yesterday, only wearing a fashionable white tuxedo and carrying a bouquet of flowers. The villagers ran screaming to their homes as he approached, one of them running to Sherman's house and opening the door.
"Oolong's in the village and he's on his way here!" he shouted. Bulma nodded.
"Good job!" she said. "Now make sure everyone gets into their houses safely." Goku walked over, and Bulma turned to him.
"Okay, it's up to you," she said. "Good luck."
Goku raised an eyebrow. "Well, since you're the brains of this outfit, you're gonna help me, right?" Bulma simply pushed Goku outside and shut the door behind her, peering through the hole Ukyo had punched through it earlier.
"I'll be right here rooting for you, Goku," she said. Goku and Ukyo both scoffed at that as the footsteps came closer.
"Alright kid, it's showtime!" she said. "Don't let him get a good look at your face, and remember: smile!"
Ukyo looked through the door at her brother. "Be careful, Goku."
Goku nodded at that and turned away from the door. "Next time, I'm making the plan." he grumbled as Oolong finally arrived. Goku made sure to keep his back turned.
"I've come for you, my little buttercup!" he said, his voice deep and booming. "I brought you some flowers. I hope you like them, sweetheart!"
Goku hesitated, then cleared his throat. "I love flowers!" he replied in a high-pitched voice, as Oolong looked at the Power Pole, which Goku hadn't bothered to take off before dressing up. "Packed your rolling pin?"
Bulma looked on nervously through the door. "We should've had him put that down first..." she muttered.
"And I see you've put on a little weight." Oolong continued.
Goku was annoyed, but stuck to the plan. "Yeah, well, look who's talking!" he retorted.
Oolong chucked. "You scamp! A little feisty today, aren't we?"
Bulma gulped. "Goku, where'd you learn how to act?!" she whispered. "If you don't shape up, you're gonna blow this thing big-time!"
"He can handle it," Ukyo whispered. "Just relax."
Oolong smirked and made a hand-horn sign (2) with his right hand. "That's good. I like 'em feisty! I wouldn't change anything on you except maybe that ugly scarf."
Before Goku could say anything more, he felt a familiar sensation and started shaking. Uh-oh!
Oolong noticed. "What's this? You're trembling!"
That's because I need to use the bathroom, Goku thought. Real bad!
Oolong, of course, thought he was trembling from fear. "You're scared?" he asked, pointing to himself. "Well, I get my feelings hurt by girls that are scared of me!"
"Oh, crap!" Bulma muttered from inside as she looked on, believing the jig was up as Ukyo prepared to charge out to aid her brother.
"No more, that's it!" Oolong shouted, and let out a roar as he was suddenly surrounded by a cloud of yellow smoke. Bulma gasped, and Sherman and Pochawompa held each other in fear as the cloud dissipated to reveal-
-a handsome human man with black hair and a mustache, wearing a white trench coat and holding a top hat and cane. Goku looked up in surprise.
"What do you think of this?" he asked, his voice calm. "Suave, debonair, handsome? If you don't like it, I can always change into something else."
Goku chuckled at that, and at that moment, Bulma came bursting out, hearts in her eyes.
"What the?" Ukyo muttered from inside. "What about the plan?!" Bulma ignored her, while Oolong looked on in surprise.
"Well, hello there, stranger!" she said. "My name's Bulma. I don't think we've met." Goku, for his part, simply fell on his face.
Oolong looked at Bulma. "My, can such beauty be real?" he said. "You must be a dream."
At that, Bulma happily unzipped her jacket to reveal her bust. "Nope! I'm all woman!"
Oolong promptly turned red as he imagined himself fondling Bulma's breasts. Imagine, if I had a woman like that... ohhhh, he thought. Yes. She's a delicious catch if I ever saw one. Then his thoughts snapped back to his previous choice. But what about Pochawompa?
Bulma looked at him, clasping her hands and smiling. "So, when are you gonna kidnap me and take me away?" Ukyo pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance.
Oolong clenched his fists, visibly shaking from his mental debate. Oh, I can't just leave Pochawompa, but I'd be crazy to refuse a girl like that! he thought. Pochawompa or the new girl? Pochawompa or the new girl? Pochawompa or the... huh? He snapped out of it to notice that "Pochawompa" had disappeared. "Where'd she go?"
Both Bulma and Oolong spun around to see Goku off to the side, urinating on a tree. "What?!" Oolong exclaimed. "Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?" He started running over to Goku. "This must be some mistake! It can't be!" As he got close enough, he saw something he wished he hadn't, and promptly let out a horrified scream, clutching his head.
"I've been deceived!" he shouted. "You're not Pochawompa!" Goku finished his business and turned back around.
"What gave me away?" he asked. "It was my tail, wasn't it?" Oolong glared at him in rage, his eyes turning red.
"If there is one thing I cannot tolerate, it is DECEPTION!" he shouted, and was surrounded in another yellow cloud. When it faded, in the handsome man's place was a giant black bull with red eyes and a nose ring.
"Man!" Goku said in awe. "That's one big cow!"
Oolong laughed. "I am not a cow!" he declared with a slight Spanish accent. "I am a bull! Can't you tell the difference?" As an afterthought, he added, "And I'm a pretty mean one, too."
Bulma placed her hands on her cheeks in shock. "Whoa!" she shouted. "What happened to my polite, handsome, debonair man with the really expensive trench coat?!" She backed up towards the door of Sherman's house. "Excuse me," she said as she entered and closed it behind her.
"This is just too weird!" Bulma exclaimed as Sherman, Pochawompa, and Ukyo looked on.
"That monstrous beast has deceived you, too," said Sherman. "He fools you by changing into the one thing that you want most. And in your case, that's a man. You should be ashamed of yourself!" Bulma just looked at him, dumbfounded, as Sherman sighed in relief and put his arm around his daughter.
"The good thing is, I don't think he wants to marry Pochawompa anymore," he said. "He wants to marry you instead."
Pochawompa smiled. "You'll make a nice bride, Bulma."
Bulma glared at them. "What kind of a girl do you think I am?!" she snapped. "I'm not getting married to a bull, and that's that!"
Ukyo scoffed as she made her way back to the door. "You can sit and bicker all you want," she said. "But I'm gonna help my brother." With that, she opened the door and ran up next to Goku. Oolong glared at her.
"Another one, eh?" he said as Bulma looked out the hole in the door.
"Goku, Ukyo!" she shouted. "The plan's off! It's time to take the bull by the horns!" With that, Goku cast off his disguise and drew the Power Pole, smirking.
"Now we'll see just how tough you really are." he said.
"We're gonna kick your butt!" Ukyo added.
"Don't forget to find out where the girls are!" Bulma called out. "And stay alive, okay?"
"Say your prayers, chico and chica! Your time has come!" Oolong declared, laughing. "You've reached the end of the road!"
Goku stretched nonchalantly. "Smile!" he said, pulling down his right eyelid and blowing a raspberry, with Ukyo doing the same. Oolong stomped the ground in frustration."
"What, are you kids loco?!" he demanded. "There's still a way you can save yourselves! Get the seƱorita!"
Ukyo scoffed at that, bending into a fighting stance. "Forget it, you bully!" she said. "C'mon, let's go!"
"Alright then, so be it!" Oolong declared. "A little monkey boy and monkey girl burrito might hit the spot anyway! Sounds yummy!"
Goku glared at him. "Look, you can't scare us like you've scared everyone else!" he said. "We're not buying it!"
Oolong scowled. "Haven't you noticed?!" he demanded. "You're two little cucarachas with a stick, and I'm a gigantic bull!"
Ukyo shook her head. "Haven't you noticed?" she shot back. "We couldn't care less what you are! Give those girls back right now!"
At that moment, Oolong glanced at a nearby clock and gasped. "Uh, I'll be back!" he said suddenly, before turning tail and fleeing. Goku and Ukyo exchanged looks, confused, before chasing after him.
"Hey!" Goku shouted. "Come back here and fight!"
"You chicken!" Ukyo declared. "Where are you going?!"
The bull exited the gate, and Goku and Ukyo ran out, only to see nothing.
"What the..." Ukyo said. "Where'd he go?"
At that moment, they heard whistling, and turned to see an anthropomorphic pig around their size, dressed in a green Chinese Communist army uniform (3) and a commissar cap decorated with a red star.
"Um, excuse me?" Goku asked, running up to him. "A giant bull just came barreling through here. Did you see where he went?"
The pig pointed to the right. "He went that way."
"Thanks!" Goku said, and the two ran in the direction he pointed.
-X-
As they left, the pig smirked. What they didn't know was he was, in fact, Oolong in his true form.
Having had trouble picking up girls despite his cute appearance, Oolong went to shape-shifting school and learned how to do it, using his different forms to terrorize the village. However, he could only hold a shape for five minutes before having to stop and rest, which was why he ran from Goku and Ukyo.
Now, all he had to do was wait...
-X-
Meanwhile, Sherman and Bulma exited the house, looking around cautiously.
"You say Oolong ran away?" Sherman asked.
Bulma nodded. "Yeah. I saw him take off, and Goku and Ukyo went after him."
Sherman was awestruck. "Remarkable. What extraordinary kids."
"Yeah," Bulma said. "Goku and Ukyo will chase him a hundred miles if they have to."
Sherman stroked his mustache in thought. "Maybe it's the legend after all..."
-X-
Goku and Ukyo came back to the village, having been unable to find the bull.
"Hey, Oolong!" Goku shouted. "We know you're out there! You can't hide forever!"
They passed the pig again, who was still leaning against the fence. "Couldn't find him, huh?" The twins shook their heads as they went back into the village.
"Hey, everybody!" Ukyo called. "He ran away! He might just be hiding, though, so look out!"
Oolong chuckled and checked his watch. All right, here we go again, he thought. But I better watch it, or these kids could ruin a good thing. If I wanna keep these simpletons in line, I better come up with something really fierce.
He crept along the fence, already having an idea...
-X-
Goku scratched his head in confusion. "Hmm..." he said. "I guess he is gone, Ukki (4)."
Ukyo nodded. "Looks like it."
At that moment, they heard a loud yell, and turned to see a giant, robotic entity, holding a bowl of ramen and a pair of chopsticks.
"Looking for me, kids?" The robot asked, laughing. "Did you really think I would run away?"
They took a nervous step backward, and Oolong chuckled. "You seem a little timid this time," he said. "Well, you're lucky, tiny tots, because I'm feeling generous." He tapped the bowl with his chopsticks. "I was going to dunk you in this hot soup and eat you like dumplings, but if you leave town now, I will spare you."
"I think we'll stay," Ukyo said, sticking her tongue out. "So go ahead and eat us."
"If you can!" Goku added smugly.
Oolong growled. "If I can?!" he said. "How dare you-" At that moment, he stuck his thumb in the ramen bowl, burning it. Oolong promptly yelled out in pain and dropped the bowl, clutching his thumb before scowling down at the Son twins.
"Look what you made me do!" he yelled.
Goku raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"
"We didn't make you do anything, you dummy!" Ukyo said.
Oolong scowled and balled his hands into fists. "Alright, that does it!" he shouted. "Your luck's run out, little runts!" Meanwhile, a little boy was creeping up behind Oolong, slingshot in hand. Oblivious to this, Oolong continued his rant.
"I was going to let you two go because you're not like all the other cowards, but now I have no choice but to destroy-" Oolong cut himself off with a loud yelp of pain as the boy shot him in the back of a head with a rock. He promptly rubbed the back of his head, as the boy's mother ran and snatched him up.
"Johnny, do you wanna get yourself killed?!" she demanded as she ran off. Oolong turned to face her, a tear in his eye.
"You know you've got a real little monster on your hands there, lady!" he shouted as the woman ran back in her house. "Kids these days..." He turned back to face Goku and Ukyo. "Now, where were we?"
"You were just saying you were going to destroy us," Ukyo said matter-of-factly.
Oolong snapped his fingers. "Oh, yeah, yeah, right!" he declared. "Thanks, kid."
"Y'know what, though?" Goku said. "I don't think you're as strong as you say you are." Ukyo nodded in agreement.
Offended, Oolong stomped his foot in a rage. "Listen here, kiddies!" he shouted. "I'm the fiercest, most impolite warrior on the face of the Earth?"
"Yeah?" Ukyo deadpanned. "I doubt it."
Oolong pointed a finger at them. "What makes you two think that you're any match for me?!"
Goku smirked. "We learned karate from our grandpa."
Oolong sweatdropped, but hid his fear. "Karate, huh?" he said. "Well, if you're any good at karate, you can break these bricks with one hand!" With that, he made two piles of bricks, three in each pile.
"That's nothing," Ukyo said as she and Goku approached the piles.
"We can break them apart with one finger!" Goku declared. "Watch this!"
With that, they both jabbed the brick piles with their fingers, smashing them apart. Oolong gulped nervously, realizing what he had got himself into.
"Do you know what I do to people who can do that?!" he demanded, before suddenly being surrounded in a puff of smoke. When it cleared, in the robot's place was a giant, magenta-furred bat with a pig-like nose. He laughed maniacally.
"Nothing!" he declared. "Later, sucker!" Goku and Ukyo once again exchanged confused glances, right before Bulma charged out of the house.
"Hey, what are you two waiting for?!" she demanded. "Go after him! If he gets away, we'll never find out where the girls are!"
Ukyo facepalmed. "Oh, right!" She cupped her hands over her mouth. "Nimbus!"
Right on cue, the Flying Nimbus swooped in, and Goku and Ukyo jumped on it and went after Oolong. Bulma smirked as Sherman exited his house, along with Grandma Paozu and the other villagers.
"Amazing!" Sherman declared. "It's our legend that an evil monster would be-"
"-toppled over by two mere children who could dance on the clouds." Grandma Paozu said.
-X-
Oolong continued flying, seething over his humiliation.
"Those kids were a royal pain in the keister!" he grumbled. "Too bad they don't know how to fly!" He chuckled.
"Hey, Oolong!" came Goku's voice. Oolong turned, and screeched in fear at the sight of Goku and Ukyo approaching on the Nimbus cloud.
"Where do you think you're going?!" Goku demanded.
"You're not going anywhere, you chicken!" Ukyo added. "Not until you let those girls go!"
Oolong screeched again, and then was surrounded in another puff of smoke before taking off in the form of a rocket. "So long, sucker!" he declared.
"Oh, no you don't!" Goku shouted, taking off after him in hot pursuit. Oolong led them on a high-speed chase across the sky, circling around mountains and through the clouds, before coming to a horrifying realization.
"Oh, no!" he declared. "My five minutes are up!" Right on cue, he was forced to revert back to his pig form, and fell, screaming. Goku and Ukyo quickly swooped down and caught him.
"Hey!" Ukyo said, looking at him. "Goku, it's that pig from before! He was Oolong the whole time!"
Goku glared down at him. "You've been a very bad piggy."
Oolong glared back. "And who the heck are you? My psychiatrist?"
-X-
Goku and Ukyo led Oolong back to the village, a rope tied around his waist. The villagers were quite surprised to see that the monster that had tormented them was just a little pig.
"Well, now, porky," Bulma said, "what do you have to say for yourself?"
Goku tugged on the rope. "An apology would be nice."
Oolong sighed. "Alright then. I'm sorry."
Grandma Paozu glared at him. "Now, where's my granddaughter and the rest of the girls?"
Oolong looked down. "They're... home."
One villager raised an eyebrow. "What home?!"
Bulma loomed over him. "Look, pal!" she said. "Your reign of terror is over, capiche? Now tell us!"
Ukyo looked over at her. "Bulma, you're really brave now that Oolong's tied up." At that, Bulma looked away and whistled innocently.
"Okay, okay," Oolong said. "They're at my home."
"Take us there." Ukyo ordered him. "And if you try anything funny, like turning into a bug, forget it. We'll squash ya." Oolong groaned, but nodded, and led them out of the village.
"Where exactly is this shack of yours?" Sherman asked.
Before long, they stopped in front of a large, elegant-looking mansion. "Here's my little shack." Oolong said. Everyone gaped at it.
"Awesome!" Bulma said. "You don't see houses like that every day, do you? What a palace!"
Goku turned to Oolong. "How'd you get such a big place?"
Oolong smirked. "Well, it wasn't easy, kiddo," he said. "I had to rip off a lot of people."
Ukyo scowled at him. "And you're proud of that?" Before he could say anything else, all of the adults in the village charged up the stairs, calling for their kids When they entered one room, however, they were all surprised to see the girls perfectly alright, either doing aerobics, eating, or casually relaxing.
"Oh, hi, Daddy!" A girl doing aerobics said. "What's happening?"
"Sorry I didn't write, Mommy," said a girl relaxing in a chair with a drink. "I've been super busy."
"Me too," said a girl eating at the table. "Man, time has just been flying by."
"Did you find them?" came Bulma's voice, and she, Goku, Ukyo, and Oolong entered behind the adults.
"Hi, girls." said Oolong.
"Hi, snookums!" the aerobics girl said. "Before I forget, I'm totally out of pink lipstick and red nail polish."
"And I need a new hair dryer," said the girl in the chair.
"Did you bring the diet drinks I asked you for?" said the girl at the table. Everyone turned to Oolong, who sighed.
"I was hoping these girls would cook and take care of my house, but they won't," he said. "All they wanna do is lay around." He turned to them. "Take them off my hands. Pretty please?"
While confused, the parents nodded, and Grandma Paozu turned to Bulma. "Well, this belongs to you and those kids now," she said, handing her the Dragon Ball.
Bulma smiled and took the ball. "Wow! You made our day!" She looked the ball over.
Just two more to go... she thought. And then I can call the dragon to make my wish.
Author's Note:
(1): That's how the Dragon Ball Wiki spelled her name.
(2): A hand gesture with a variety of meanings and uses in various cultures. It is formed by extending the index and little fingers while holding the middle and ring fingers down with the thumb.
(3): That's what his uniform is in real life; I mentioned the "Chinese Communist" part for narrative's sake, since I doubt China really exists in the Dragon World.
(4): Goku's nickname for Ukyo. It rhymes with "Yuki."
My sincerest apologies for the ungodly wait. I haven't had much access to the original episodes recently. That, and my mom's passing last year (f$%^ breast cancer) kinda killed my muse. But I'm back now.
Next chapter: Yamcha the Desert Bandit.
Please R&R. Until next time!
