LAPIS
One whole week had passed, and Jasper still hadn't reformed from her gem. Lapis was so worried; and she was starting to think that her emotions were affecting the gemlings. None of them wanted to play like they usually do, and little Jazz even stopped eating today. Lapis tried crushing the crystals into a fine powder for her to lick, but she refused to open her mouth at all.
"Fine! Starve to death then!" Lapis yelled at her cub angrily, bringing her hand down against the counter, scaring little Zuli and making her cry. She was so frustrated with the jaspercub, she didn't even want to deal with her attitude today. She understood that Jasper needed time alone, but if she didn't come back soon, she was going to go crazy.
Peridot had tried helping her out where she could, but the gemlings were overstimulated and too cranky to pay her any mind. Instead, she was making a genuine effort to follow Lapis around and help her out where she could.
"Lapis, it's not Jazz's fault that Jasper hasn't come back! Why are you being so mean to her?" Steven chastised her, picking up the jaspercub and holding her against his chest. Jazz licked his fingers affectionately, and she glared back at Lapis, who responded by sticking her tongue out at her.
"Come on girl, aren't you hungry?" He asked, poking and tickling the little cub. Jazz shook her head and started to cry, reaching her little hands out towards the couch where Jasper's gem was laying.
Steven carried her over there and picked up the multi-faceted gem, and Jazz took it, cuddling it between her small limbs possessively.
"Steven I just got that away from her, and you gave it back? Now I'll never be able to... Zuli! What are you doing!?" Lapis turned to see Zuli standing on the edge of the counter, teetering close to the edge, the act threatening to send her falling off onto the floor. Lapis reached for Zuli, but she fell; luckily right into Kit's waiting arms.
"It is a danger zone in here!" Amethyst yelled out upon warping into the room with a large weapon from the strawberry fields. Garnet came out of the temple and helped her pull it into Amethyst's room. Lapis rolled her eyes; what exactly was the point of collecting all those weapons anyway?
"Lapis, you need to chill." Steven said.
He was right of course. She didn't see how she could chill when Jazz refused to eat, Zuli refused to stay safe, and Kit was a better mother than she was.
Steven picked up the gemlings and placed his palm against Lapis' chest. His gaze was soft, and she relaxed, holding back the sudden urge she had to start crying. She followed him wearily up to his loft, where he laid out a plush comforter where they all laid down against the soft fabric.
"Why do you think Jasper is taking so long to regenerate? Do you think she's okay?" Steven asked softly, gently rubbing Jazz's head with a tip of his index finger.
"I don't know... At this rate it feels like she's never going to regenerate..."
"She has to though, right? I mean, Garnet feels terrible for what she did... I hope that's not why she won't come back."
"Oh Steven, I don't know. The whole fusion experiments thing really freaked her out. Usually when we fuse, the feeling is so wonderful and warm, and I really can't explain it. You've fused though, you should know what I mean. But this time, when we fused, all I felt was terror, confusion, even hatred, and it was the worst feeling in the world. I'm really surprised we didn't split apart instantly, because the emotions she was feeling were so overwhelming. She was so unstable. I felt something deep inside me though, a warmth I hadn't felt before, keeping us together long enough to protect ourselves and to protect Peridot. It was as if Malachite herself wanted us to stay together; there are even parts I can't remember from when we were fused... It's weird..." Lapis folded her arms under her head as a pillow, and gazed at her gemlings sadly.
"You have amnesia? From fusing?" Steven mimicked her, covering himself up with a blanket. "Garnet said when you fuse you're not two people, you're not one person; but maybe Malachite is growing her own conscience?"
Was that what was happening to them? She had always felt their separate, individual presences residing within their amalgam, but this last time, as faint as it was; she had felt a third presence in the back of her mind. She was pretty sure that was where the strange urge to protect had come from. It was a voice that urged them to stay fused, even taming Jasper's emotions to a manageable degree. She had loved being Malachite, but the thought of losing herself, was terrifying in a way, because she didn't want to lose her feelings and her thoughts; she shuddered thinking about it.
Lapis closed her eyes, the feeling of exhaustion was overwhelming. So many thoughts and worries about her gemlings passed before her eyes as her mind drifted off into sleep. She was swimming in a black, dank ocean, and she was almost too terrified to continue. She felt her body freezing up with terror as she looked down to see four glowing green orbs staring at her from below her. She swam as quickly as she could towards the surface, not daring to look back down, afraid of what was watching her; chasing her, of what threatened to drag her back down. She broke the surface just as a large hand grabbed onto her foot. She summoned her wings and fought against the giant green hand that had her, when a familiar hand grabbed hers and pulled her from the hands grip. She stared up at Steven, before looking back down to watch the hand sink back into the ocean.
"Steven?" She squished his face with her hands and he laughed.
"Oh hey Lapis, this is weird, I've never dreamt about you before."
"What?" She looked around, only seeing a sea of stars surrounding them as they floated weightlessly across space.
"I was flying with dogcoptor, and then I saw you struggling so I helped you. But..."
Lapis snapped awake, and looked around her. Steven was awake too, and they stared at each other. The gemlings were still sleeping peacefully, unaware of their surroundings.
"Steven did you.."
"Lapis..."
"That was real?" They both said at the same time.
"Lapis, what were you running from?" He asked, touching her hand gently from where he was on the blanket, looking at her with furrowed brows.
"I think it was Malachite."
"Eugh.."
"It was only a dream right? I mean... Why would she be reaching out to me like that..." Lapis rolled over on her side, and stared at the black TV screen in front of her. Steven was talking to her again, telling her about some dream he had had about Pearl, but she felt her eyelids become heavy again, as she fell asleep once more.
This time she woke up in the middle of a raging battle. Gem's were clashing all around her, and she screeched as she saw shattered pieces of gems and mangled body parts of humans cast about around her. She fled, dodging weapons and confrontation, skidding to a stop in front of a Gem she recognized as Rose Quartz. Something touched her hand, and she threatened to scream, but when she looked down it was Steven again, holding her hand tightly as they watched what happened in front of them.
There was a large intimidating Gem before them, with massive hair and a huge battleaxe. The Gem swung her axe down towards Rose, who held up her shield to protect herself. Before the axe could connect with her shield, a smaller, thinner Gem put herself between Rose Quartz and her aggressor, taking the brunt of the force with her sword. The force was too much for the smaller Gem and she poofed.
"Pearl?" Steven said quietly. The scene changed around them, as they were now looking onto a flat field of death and despair, with what appeared to be devoid of life; Gem or human. Steven whimpered at the sight of blood and personified agony; he attempted to pick up what looked like gem shards, but his hand went straight through them. The ground shook beneath them, and they turned to stare up at the large form of a Gem fusion, one that was only a black silhouette with glowing green eyes.
The fusion Gem reached her hands towards Lapis, who took several steps back, shaking her head no. This didn't feel right to her, why was this happening? Steven had disappeared, and she was left alone to face this monster on her own. She-
"Lapis wake up!" Steven was shaking her. So that was why he had disappeared from her dream, he had woken up.
"Steven..." She hugged him, and buried her face in his dark curly locks. "Steven I don't understand what's going on."
"I think Malachite is trying to talk to you."
"How would that be possible? Malachite isn't possible without Jasper, so how could she talk to me if we're not even fused..."
"Somehow we're connecting to each other through our dreams, and it seems to me like she wants to tell you something. Maybe she knows something about Jasper? A part of Malachite lives in you; a part of her lives in both of you! I think we should see what she has to say! Don't worry, I'll be there with you, so you don't have to be afraid." Steven hugged her back tightly.
"Alright."
Lapis laid on her back, and stared at the ceiling. This time she was having trouble falling asleep. She was terrified of what she had seen. The devastation of the war, and Pearl sacrificing herself needlessly for Rose Quartz. It was very sad, and weighed heavily against her heart. If Steven thought talking to Malachite would help her, then she would do it.
This time she hadn't even felt herself fall asleep. Instead when she opened her eyes she was staring directly into the face of her fusion counterpart, Malachite. Steven was next to her, standing his ground and staring up at the large green-banded fusion Gem. Malachite's hair was flowing wildly around her face, all four of her eyes were staring at Lapis, and her lips were parted slightly, showing off her sharp teeth.
"I'm here now, what is it that you want to talk to me about?" Lapis asked, trying to find the courage within herself to face this part of herself that she had never had contact with before now.
Malachite laughed softly. Lapis looked down and realized this was the Malachite Jasper and her had first formed, the one with six arms, and no feet. She looked back up, feeling afraid and frozen in place on the fusion's large hand. The sense of foreboding wouldn't leave her, and it threatened to break her apart emotionally.
Before her eyes though, Malachite's form changed, her features becoming softer, her body becoming smaller, her arms changing to legs. She was now being held by the Malachite she recognized, the one that made her feel so good when she was a part of her.
"You have to prove to her that fusion is beautiful." Malachite said, touching Lapis' cheek lightly with her thumb. "Or I'm going to disappear, and I'll never be able to see her again."
"Who?" Lapis asked, surprised at how gentle the fusion Gem's touch was against her cheek.
"She's too afraid to reform. Seeing those creatures, what someone she trusted and looked up to did, has broken her. Together though, I know we can bring her back, and show her how wonderful it is to be a part of a fusion."
"I don't know how to contact her... She's still inside her gem..."
Malachite held Lapis and Steven close to her, and chuckled at Steven's expression on his face when he looked up at the fusion. He loved giant women after all, fusions were so cool to him. She summoned her four large water wings and flew through the abyss. The darkness around them slowly changed, as Lapis noticed they were once again at the battlefield they had visited earlier. Malachite set them down on the ground.
Lapis walked wearily toward a Gem crouched down towards the ground. It was Jasper, gripping her head tightly; Lapis could see her body shaking. She didn't want to startle the large Gem, she was just so happy to finally have contact with her.
"Fusion is a cheap tactic, Jasper. We don't need fusion to become strong. Fusing with another is disgusting, and it should make you feel disgusting. Do you understand?"
Lapis cringed at the sound of Yellow Diamond's voice, echoing around them. She peered around the large Gem, and saw a hologram of Yellow Diamond speaking to a younger, smaller Jasper.
"Yes ma'am. Fusion is an abomination." Young Jasper said happily, waiting for Yellow Diamond's approval.
"Now, don't you forget that, and you'll be my greatest asset yet." Yellow Diamond cackled, crossing her arms in front of her chest. The two holograms fizzled in front of her eyes, and changed, showing an older Jasper, with shoulder length hair standing at attention in front of her Commander.
Yellow Diamond was holding her sword, pointing at some smaller Gems who were bound by their hands and feet and tossed on the ground by their boots. HoloJasper kept her fierce gaze forward, never breaking eye contact with her Commander. Her eyes were so intense; her pupils were all but slits, her mouth was upturned into a wild grin; her teeth sharp and dangerous looking.
"These Gem's are traitors Jasper. They were fused together, living as one for many years. They fled homeworld, trying to flee to a distant planet, but my forces caught them. This is your test. Destroy them."
Lapis watched in horror as HoloJasper destroyed each of the Gem's gems with reckless abandon, seemingly eager to please her Commander and prove her worth. Yellow Diamond gathered the shards, and stuffed them into her pocket, grinning devilishly at the orange Gem's speedy work.
"Good."
Once again the holograms changed, but this time, it was a scene she recognized all too well, because it was her and Jasper on Peridot's ship, when Jasper had danced with her. That was the first time they had unknowingly synchronized, the first time Lapis had felt the power of fusion building up inside of her, and then Jasper stopped dancing, ending the feeling from coming to fruition.
"You're trying to find the good memories, aren't you, Jasper?" She asked aloud, placing her hand gently against the back of the large Gem's neck. She felt the muscles under her fingers tense, as Jasper jumped up and backed away from her.
"You." She said, eyeing Lapis, Malachite and Steven. "You." She said softer, gentler; quieter. "Yellow Diamond was wrong, wasn't she Lapis."
"What are you talking about now?"
"About fusion, just being a tactic for battle. It's not about the power you feel, or about using that power to destroy things. It's about feeling, and the relationship between the two Gem's who fuse together."
"Fusing is a beautiful magic, that allows me to exist." Malachite said, stepping forward to interject before Lapis could respond. "Fusion is a powerful magic that can be used in the way Yellow Diamond described, creating monsters and unstable fusions for the sake of war. True fusion, the way some of us believe it, is an eternal symbolization of our love for one another, no matter what type of love that may be. Platonic, romantic, it matters not when it comes to love. For example, you may not love Peridot in the same way you love Lapis, but you loved her enough to fuse with her to save Lapis. That was beautiful. Don't you just feel wonderful when you're fused with the blue Gem, living and breathing and experiencing life through me?"
Jasper seemed a little shocked that Malachite was talking to her in this way, watching the fusion Gem curiously, while trying to maintain her composure. Lapis noticed her fists starting to clench, as that understanding she just had upon her face vanished in an instant. She pointed one of her large fingers at Malachite and gritted her teeth angrily against them.
"Fusion is disgusting! You're disgusting! No wonder they didn't allow it back on Homeworld... Yellow Diamond was right, how could I be so blind!"
"Jasper..." Lapis was so saddened by the turmoil that Jasper was going through, and she didn't know how to help her. Was she always going to struggle with the idea of fusion now? Were they never going to be able to fuse again? She didn't know what to do, she was so lost, so confused; she herself started to wish that it wasn't something she enjoyed so much...
Malachite placed a firm hand on her shoulder, and she looked up into the fusion Gem's eyes, finally acquiring a little bit of understanding through her. Steven remained quiet, probably taking everything in at his own pace, he was more than likely just as lost as she was about the whole situation.
"Jasper." Lapis ambled right up to the orange Gem and embraced her. "We don't have to fuse. We don't have to do anything. Just, come back to me okay? Come back to the gemlings, they need you."
Lapis sat up, and wiped the tears from her eyes. The part of herself that ached so furiously in her chest, must have been Malachite; but she can't force Jasper to embrace fusion. She wouldn't force it upon her. Hopefully Jasper got her message, and understood her. She just couldn't stand there and watch her argue with herself over the topic anymore. It was too heartbreaking, and she felt weak.
JASPER
Jasper was ready to return. She reformed from her gem, thudding onto the ground next Steven's bed. The gemlings woke up and Jazz stared at her. She felt a pang in her chest when she looked at this gemling, she could feel it's weakened state emanating through it's gem. Was it really going to starve itself just because she wasn't there? She picked Jazz up and the little gemling growled amicably at her. Lapis didn't say anything next to her, she instead handed her a crystal, which she took and held it out to the little jaspercub. It stared hungrily at it, and starting eating it, causing Lapis to let out a sigh of relief.
"I'm so happy." Lapis said, leaning her head against Jasper's arm.
"Lapis, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left you here all alone with the gemlings, and I'm sorry I nearly caused little Jazz to starve herself... I didn't think they even liked me, and I figured they'd be better off without me."
"Don't be stupid, of course they like you. Just..."
"You guys stay here with Steven, and Jazz if you don't eat my weight in crystals you're going to be in big trouble when I return." Jasper put the cub down and took Lapis by her hand, pulling her down the stairs and outside.
"Jasper, where are we going?"
"Lapis, I realized something when you were in my mind, or whatever that was you and the kid were doing. I realized that I am nothing without you. I can't help what Yellow Diamond and the Homeworld did to those Crystal Gem shards. I can help how I see our fusion. Now, I just want to spend some time with you."
Lapis smiled at her. "Follow me." She ran towards the ocean, and ran atop it, leaving Jasper looking onward at her from the beach.
"Um."
"Come on!" She called, laughing excitedly.
Jasper placed a foot down on top of the water and was amazed that Lapis was able to manipulate it in a way that allowed her to walk atop of it. She followed the small blue Gem, ultimately curious as to where they could be going. Lapis looked back at her over her shoulder, and she felt her face flush at how beautiful the ocean Gem was, her eyes glinting with the light from the moon. Her heart fluttered against her chest when the small Gem stopped, and took her hands into her own, looking up at her with eyes full of love and trust...
"I want to show you the beauty that is fusion, Jasper, once and for all. I don't want you to be afraid anymore. Yellow Diamond told you fusion was disgusting because she never understood what it meant to be one with another Gem. She knew that fusion could destroy her, just like it eventually did when you and Peridot fused with each other to beat her. Won't you dance with me, Jasper?"
Jasper bit her bottom lip, and looked off the the side for a moment. Only a moment though. She pulled Lapis to her by her waist, the small Gem's back against her; Jasper lifting Lapis' hands into the air, running her own hands down them, across her chest and sides. Lapis swayed her hips and pointed her toes, falling to the side as Jasper caught her in a dip, then lifted her up into her arms. Lapis kissed her on the gem, before leaning back and sliding from her arms, regaining her footing on the water. She fell back against Jasper once more, reaching up and grabbing two locks of the larger Gem's hair, pulling her down into a long anticipated kiss.
Their bodies melded and became one again, Jasper opening her mind to Malachite, allowing her to truly experience this fusion.
No words passed through her mind, as she continued dancing across the water, smiling and laughing to herself as her feet left ripples on the surface. The moonlight made the water sparkle; and she couldn't help but laugh at the wonderfully warm feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't believe how freaked out she had felt before, and now that she was one with Lapis, she wasn't so alone; she wasn't so afraid. She was truly starting to understand the reasoning behind fusion, and why it was so important to these Earth dwelling Gems. For once she didn't feel disgusted, she felt whole, and she loved every second she spent as Malachite.
Jasper was careful not to lose herself in Malachite's ever growing conscience, because she worried if she did, the fusion wouldn't let her defuse again. Right now, she needed to take it slow, a little at a time; especially if she really wanted to learn and understand more about fusion and all its properties. Before she only regarded fusion as a means to an end, a way to make herself stronger for fighting purposes. She had never fused for the sake of fusing before, without some kind of ulterior motive behind it. This fusion was different, and each time they fused, she felt like it was going to be a different experience for the both of them.
And that was okay with her.
She remembered defusing and holding Lapis in her arms, gazing into those azure blue eyes she adored looking into. Lapis giggled, her face flushed that deep dark blue that looked so cute to her. She went in for another hungry kiss, the blue Gem happily meeting her half-way. She was so ecstatic, there was really only one thing she could think about at that moment. She tossed the blue Gem over her shoulder casually, and tromped up towards Steven's house with a new found spring in her step.
"Jasper, what are you doing?" Lapis asked, allowing herself to be carried into the house.
"Oh, you know." She responded simply, too embarrassed to just say what was on her mind.
She made it in front of the warp pad before being thrown backwards by an incoming warp. Amethyst, Pearl and Garnet were standing there, their faces full of an unknown anger she didn't understand.
"Where have you two been!?" Pearl demanded, her arms crossed in front of her chest.
"We were-"
"Guys, I don't think they had anything to do with it, let's just ask them about it." Amethyst said, looking away shyly and tapping her foot against the crystal warp.
"No, I don't think they did it. Darn, we'll just have to keep looking." Garnet said quietly, clenching her fists to her sides.
"What's going on guys? Is something wrong?" Steven called down from his bad sleepily, obviously not wanting to be left out of this conversation.
"Something very bad has happened Steven. Very bad."
