A/N: Huge thank you to TheEagerScribbler for beta reading this chapter.

July 8th, 2010

Moses, if you try to pull that shit on me one more time. A growl formed deep in Jake's throat, and he hunched over menacingly as a wolf to punctuate the thought. Moses didn't react how Jacob wanted him to, but he had no choice but to bow to his alpha. He would take Jake seriously for five minutes before this happened all over again. He always came back around to treating their training like a joke.

It had happened over and over, and each time, Jacob lost more of his patience. He had yet to use an alpha command in one of the sessions, still clinging onto his dislike for them, but I knew it was only a matter of time. Eventually, the stress of it all and the continued frustration would get to him. He would crack, and he would alpha order one of the guys to do something. I wouldn't be surprised is some minor injuries were involved.

After that, maybe the young wolves would take the whole thing seriously, but I wasn't sure how seriously given the close to zero fucks they currently gave. It would take Jake letting loose on them to make much of a difference.

I'd already noticed that everyone took the training seriously when Sam was around. I was willing to bet that no one in his pack acted out when they did solo pack training sessions either. Sam was more of an authoritarian than Jake. They said and did almost the exact same thing, something that I knew was purposeful on Jacob's part, but for whatever reason, the actions held more power when they came from Sam.

Sam had a commanding personality that Jacob had failed to grasp, and I could only guess that it came from Jacob's continued reluctance to command others. I was also sure that he knew the same thing, but it hadn't yet helped him overcome the problem.

Yeah, got it, Jake, Moses replied, sounding slightly regretful. That had everything to do with being reprimanded, not true remorse for his actions.

I growled at him in what I knew was a pointless attempt at backing Jake up. It always fell on me to play the bad cop to his good cop. Typically, I was in my element completing the role, loving the responsibility of being the tough one.

These days it was harder. The continual stress of the future was getting to me as much as it was everyone else, and it was becoming impossible to be tough when what I wanted was to curl up in a ball in a dark room and hide from reality.

It was particularly difficult to hide that desire when the entire pack was in my head and we had to fight together as if our lives depended on it. And I was aware of just how much our lives depended on it.

As it turned out, I was right about Moses refusing to take Jacob seriously. He soon got a nip in the side from Jake after making an unwise comment.

Let's call it a day, I suggested as Moses cowered in submission after being reprimanded. Jake growled at me, and for a second, I thought he would disagree. We've been at it for two hours, I pointed out. That's long enough for today. Maybe too long. We're tired, Jacob, and a certain someone is only going to get more unbearable if you make us keep going.

There was another growl from Jake, but this one wasn't directed at me. It was an announcement of his annoyance with each of us.

Yeah, okay, he agreed before turning to Moses again. The young wolf shivered in fear, bowing his head before Jake could relay a thought to us. Just don't think this means that you can goof off and get out of training in the future, Jake told him, authority seeping through his voice. We're only quitting because it's been long enough. You try anything next time, and I swear to God, Moses.

He didn't threaten Moses with a specific action, but for once, I didn't think he needed to. His anger was showing enough that Moses took him seriously. At least for the moment. He bowed his head and backed away from Jake, heading for the trees where he could phase back in privacy.

I didn't wait around for Jake to shift his focus to me. I didn't need an alpha-beta talk like he'd forced on me many other times after these sessions. They never amounted to anything more than Jake releasing his frustration onto me, and while I got that he needed a release, I was tired of being the one he thrust his anger onto. He could find someone else today.

There was a cluster of bushes not far from where we trained. I'd claimed it as my own, phasing in and out within its protection each time. In the past, I would have run home and phased there instead, but it hadn't taken long for me to learn that I would want out of everyone's heads as soon as possible once our training sessions were complete.

Embry was waiting for me when I came out of the bushes. He stepped forward as I struggled to get the twigs out of my hair. Brushing my hands away, he took up the job himself, allowing me to focus my attention on brushing the dirt off my clothes.

"I'm exhausted," Embry said, pulling the last twig from my hair. "We can't keep doing this three times a week."

"Remember that Sam wanted it to be every day."

Embry groaned, and I could tell it wasn't exaggerated. After going through what we'd been forced to endure, the idea of doing the same thing more often was horrendous.

"It would be easier to become a Navy SEAL," Embry complained. "At least they'd pay me."

I took his hand in mine. It was partially to offer him comfort, but I also felt better having extra support as we walked through the forest. I wasn't sure that I could make it by myself. It shouldn't have been possible to be this worn out as a wolf. For years, I'd been able to avoid feeling physically exhausted at this level.

"The Navy would be safer too," I whispered. The thought sent a shiver of fear down my spine. It was difficult to think of what loomed over us, and it was rare for me to reference the danger directly.

Embry's hand tightened around mine for a second as he took in my words. I glanced up to see his clenched jaw and a determined glint in his eyes, but he didn't voice a response to what I had said. He wouldn't. Embry, who loved to discuss everything he thought about, was even more reluctant to discuss the future than I was, and that was saying something.

It scared me as much as everything else did. I didn't like how Embry changed anytime we went near the topic of the Volturi, and we seemed to always be near the topic of the Volturi these days.

"Has what's-his-face got his fish tank yet?" Embry asked instead, trying to get us thinking about anything but the Volturi.

It wouldn't work. It never worked, but I smiled up at Embry anyway and answered, trying to humor him. We could pretend it had worked for a few hours.

July 16th, 2010

Walking into Sam and Emily's house these days felt like going to a zoo and stepping right into one of the exhibits. Between the infant and the toddler, there was always more than enough noise and more than enough mess throughout the house.

Emily wasn't one of the obsessive cleaning types, like the kind who always had to have everything spotless, but she had always been on top of the usual household chores, not letting anything go too long without being cleaned.

Not anymore. Taking care of two kids had put the types of cleaning that wasn't cleaning the kids themselves on a back burner.

It wasn't that their house was a pig sty. It retained its livability, but it was also cluttered, and you had to watch your step to make sure you didn't trip over one of the toys that littered the floor.

All in all, it wasn't that bad of an atmosphere for a house to have, but I wasn't used to it. With how hectic life had been—leaving little time for anything that wasn't work, training, or Embry—I felt less familiar with it. When I stopped to think about it, I realized that I had no idea when the last time I'd stepped foot into Sam and Emily's house had been other than that day Jacob and I had come to break our terrible news.

"Sorry about the mess," Emily told me as she ushered me towards the couch, kicking a stuffed animal out of the way in the process. She sounded out of breath.

I smiled at Kim, who already occupied the couch, a cup of tea cradled in her hands.

"Would you like something to drink?" Emily asked, pausing long enough to pick up several cardboard books from the coffee table.

"Just some water would be fine," I told her, and she hurried off into the kitchen.

I let out a long breath as she left.

"I know," Kim said. "Watching her makes you feel tired."

I nodded, but I also couldn't help but grin. "She's in her element though, isn't she?" I asked. "This sort of thing is what she's always wanted."

Kim's smile grew, and she began to look less awkward than she had when I first sat down. It always took Kim a few moments to warm up to me each time I saw her again. I never understood why, but I'd accepted that it was the way things were between us. She would always be nervous until I showed to her that I wasn't about to bite.

"It is," she agreed. "It's nice."

"What's nice?" Emily asked, hurrying back into the room with my glass of water. She speed walked as she came towards us, and I almost wanted to remind her that she could slow down. Sam had the kids tonight, and I wasn't a toddler who was demanding something as soon as possible. Emily seemed to have reverted to only working at one speed.

"This," Kim said, motioning around at the house.

Emily raised an eyebrow, not looking amused. "The house?" she asked in disbelief. "The house is a mess. Look at the place. I didn't even have time to pick up the toys before you got here. I don't know if I want to let you see the kitchen sink."

Kim and I laughed.

"Of course it's messy," Kim said. "You have two kids. I think it would be unnatural if it wasn't. That's what's nice about it."

Emily looked at her as if she'd gone crazy. "You can't be serious. It's driving me insane. At first I could handle it because it wasn't that bad, but it's starting to get to the point where I find it embarrassing. There has to be some secret I'm missing that would give me enough time to clean."

Kim laughed again. "Seriously, Emily. Don't worry about it so much. The house is fine. It's nowhere near being a health hazard, which means it's fine."

Emily threw Kim a disbelieving look, but she didn't argue. Instead, she turned to me as if she expected me to say something next. Based off her expression alone, I thought that she expected me to contradict everything Kim had said, to trash the house and call Emily incompetent.

"It really is fine," I said instead. "Neater than I would have it in your shoes."

"You work though," Emily pointed out. "I'd understand then, but I'm a stay-at-home mom who can't keep the house picked up. That's what makes it pathetic."

I rolled my eyes. "Stop being so down on yourself. It makes you annoying."

Emily frowned at that, but she stopped talking negatively about either herself or the house. I watched the gears in her head turn for several moments as she struggled with accepting what we had said to her, and then her expression brightened as her eyes landed back on Kim.

"How's married life going then?" Emily asked. She sounded joyful to be asking the question, like her and Kim hadn't had ample opportunities to talk since the wedding. I would have been surprised if she hadn't asked Kim that exact question multiple times.

That didn't stop a blush from spreading across Kim's face. Her shoulders hunched over as she made herself smaller. "Good," she replied in a timid voice.

I had to stop myself from sighing. Sometimes Kim's continued shyness, no matter how long we had known her, got to be too much for me to deal with without a few not so nice thoughts running through my head, but I was getting better about biting my tongue and not saying the thoughts out loud. One might have thought that I'd never had the thoughts at all.

"Any news on the baby front?" Emily asked, bouncing in her seat.

My eyes widened as I looked between the two of them. I hadn't expected Emily to boldly ask such a question, although I didn't know what either of them had said to each other on the topic before. Kim certainly looked bashful about discussing it, although I didn't know if that was because of the question itself or because I was present.

"Same as last time you asked," Kim said in a whisper.

I fought the urge to glare at Emily. I didn't like how this sounded, like Emily had been pressuring Kim to talk about something personal. But of course she would have. Emily did, after all, consider children to be a given when it came to imprinted couples, so it made sense that she would be counting down the days until Kim was pregnant.

I was just surprised that she had worded it so boldly. Emily wasn't one to go against expected manners. The only exceptions seemed to be topics that related to imprinting. Then Emily turned into one of the rudest people I knew.

"I don't understand-"

"It doesn't feel like a good time."

I had a good idea of what Emily had been about to say before Kim interrupted her, and I thought Kim had made a good choice in ending it before she could continue. Still, I didn't like that she was explaining herself at all. Emily didn't deserve that explanation, yet I couldn't help but be interested in whatever information Kim was going to offer up. I listened with rapt attention as she continued.

"I haven't even finished my apprenticeship, Emily. Now's not the time for me to be getting pregnant. We need a few years. I need to get settled into my job. We need to save up."

"You have enough," Emily proclaimed. "I'm sure of it."

If it hadn't been out of line, I would have asked Emily if she knew what Jared and Kim's income was. The truly sad thing was that I wouldn't have been surprised if she had declared that she did. In her quest for Kim to become a mother, she would gather all the information at her disposal.

Kim shrugged. "We could make it work if we wanted to. I know that, but we feel better about waiting until my apprenticeship is over at least."

"Why though?" Emily asked, sounding truly confused. "What difference does it make if you're doing the work as an apprentice or not? It's the same work."

Kim fumbled over finding the right words to defend herself. That was, after all, not her strong suit. I could tell that she was about to collapse under the pressure. It made me fear that she'd get pregnant as soon as possible just to shut Emily up.

Actually, the more I thought about that possibility, the more it terrified me. It seemed to hit close to home after everything that had gone down between Emily and Rachel. Their relationship had yet to recover. They were civil towards each other, but they could only be considered friends in the broadest sense of the term.

Thinking about that made me wonder if her increased insistence when it came to Kim and Jared's relationship had to do with her continued panic over Rachel and Paul's. I wouldn't have been surprised if Kim was receiving some of the backlash that Emily couldn't throw at Rachel when she was all the way in Seattle.

"What does it matter?" I asked.

Emily turned to me, eyes wide as if she were surprised that I had spoken up. "What?" she asked.

"What does it matter?" I repeated. "If Kim and Jared have kids now or later, what does it matter?"

Emily was taken aback as if the question had never occurred to her. She stumbled over her words, not able to settle on anything long enough to get a complete sentence out. I looked away from her and in Kim's direction, taking in the way the younger woman fidgeted. She didn't like that a conflict had begun brewing with her at the center. I knew that was why she'd put up with Emily's questioning in the first place, but that only made it bother me more than it would have otherwise.

"I just want-"

"But what you want doesn't matter. Does it, Emily?" I asked, shutting her up. "It's Jared's and Kim's lives. It's what they want that matters."

Emily and Kim both gaped at me, shocked that I'd gotten passionate about Kim's life. They shouldn't have been though. I'd been growing fed up with Emily's facade of wishing everyone the best that was only a disguise for her trying to force her own views onto everyone else. I had been since that first time she confronted Rachel. I was sick and tired of putting up with it, and I wasn't about to sit there when I knew Kim would do nothing to defend herself.

No answer came from Emily. After a minute of struggling to speak, she snapped her mouth shut, gazing at me with more intensity than before, but she also didn't argue. Somehow, she had accepted that she wasn't going to get anywhere. Not with me and Kim. So she didn't put up a fight.

"Right," she said. More, I thought, out of an attempt to get rid of the tension in the air than because she agreed. "It's a decision for Kim and Jared. Of course I know that."

Her voice revealed how offended she felt, like I should be ashamed at myself for suggesting that Emily hadn't known that, but I wasn't. Within Emily's answer I found more evidence that she hadn't stopped to think about that even if, on some level, she had known it.

I glanced at Kim one more time, and she smiled at me when Emily wasn't looking. At least that was something. It made me feel less like a terrible person for taking the situation out of her hands. In a way, I had done exactly what Emily had been trying to do, but I would have felt worse about it if I hadn't been sure that I had done what was right.

Kim was sure to tell Jared about this. As an imprint, there was no way she wouldn't. Actually, Emily was sure to tell Sam too. A consequence that I should have been more worried about. Jared was sure to tease me about it, but considering everything happening, I couldn't feel much annoyance about that.

"I feel bad about it, you know?"

My eyes shot to Emily, surprised by her words. My brow wrinkled in confusion. "What are you talking about?" I asked. I glanced over at Kim to make sure that she didn't understand any better than I did, and I saw the expression on my face reflected in her own. It was clear from the way Emily spoke that she wasn't apologizing for what had just happened. She was addressing me, not Kim, despite the way she looked at neither of us. This was about something different.

"Rachel," Emily said. There was sadness in her voice. "I regret what I said. It was such a long time ago, but I know that she hasn't forgiven me for it."

Emily looked at me as if I could provide reassurance that she hadn't yet received from Rachel herself. I floundered, not knowing how to respond. I couldn't forgive Emily in Rachel's place like Emily wanted me to. That wasn't possible.

Even if I did have that authority, I wouldn't have provided it.

"That's good, but I don't think I'm the one you need to be saying that to." While I wanted to encourage her to talk to Rachel, the words came out laced with anger. Emily flinched at them, glancing down at the ground.

"I know," she admitted, a desperate whine to her voice. "And I've tried over and over again, but I can never get the words out whenever I talk to her. It never seems like the right time."

That was strange coming from Emily who was usually eager to apologize. God knew that she'd apologized to me more times than anyone should have to take as our friendship fell apart after Sam imprinted on her. Emily was so apologetic that I couldn't stand it, so what was it about this that made her incapable of it?

"I don't think this is something there is a right time for," I said. "It's something you do because you have to."

"I know," Emily repeated.

It made me angry even though part of me felt like I should give her a break. This was, after all, just about the only thing I'd seen her act this way over, which left me thinking there was more going on with her than I was privy to. I was almost as curious as I was pissed off.

"Then why haven't you done it?" This time it had been Kim who asked, and I had to admit that I was surprised to hear her ask such a question when she usually did everything in her power to extricate herself from conflict. And she would have considered an inability to choose what to eat for dinner to be a conflict.

Emily was thrown off by Kim's question as well, struggling to provide an answer though she had to have expected the same question to come from me.

"Like I said, I never feel like I can do it when she's in front of me."

"You could write a letter," Kim replied. She said it with such seriousness that it threw me off. Who wrote letters? The thought of it befuddled me. Rachel had been in her apartment for the better part of a year, and I couldn't have told you what her address was. I didn't need it. Not once had I considered sending her anything through the mail.

"A letter?" Emily asked, sounding as thrown off by the suggestion as I was. "I hadn't thought about that. Would that be a good idea? It might be easier."

"It's what I would do. My mom made me do it when I was a kid. I'd get in fights with my friends, and I wouldn't want to apologize because I was scared. So my mom would make me write a letter. When I was really young, she'd write them down as I composed them, and then she made me start writing them myself. But I always did it, even as late as high school, because I preferred it over doing it face-to-face.

"I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing," she admitted, "but if you can't apologize to Rachel's face either, then maybe a letter would help."

Emily looked deep in thought, nodding along unconsciously to Kim's words.

"A letter could work," she muttered to herself. "At the very least, it would help me figure out what it is I want to say, right?"

She looked up at us for approval. We both nodded at her, Kim with a smile.

"It would," Kim assured her. Her face was bright, happy that Emily had taken her suggestion.

I was less enthusiastic about the whole thing, but I had to admit, "It might help. It's better than nothing."

In my mind, I could picture Rachel receiving the letter and not bothering to read it, but I didn't voice that possibility. There wasn't that bad of a chance that she would take the time to open it, even if she only skimmed over the words. Maybe it wouldn't help solve anything, but who was I to stop Emily from trying?

"I'm going to do it," Emily declared. She looked around the room as if searching for something. "Maybe I should do it now, since Sam has the kids. I won't be able to think while they're around." She looked conflicted as her eyes flickered between Kim and me.

"It's fine," I assured her. "I need to go anyway. Go ahead and write your letter."

Emily smiled at me as I left, Kim trailing along behind me, but I wasn't doing her a favor. I was relieved to have gotten out of there.

What I wasn't as excited about was that I had no choice but to walk with Kim as we headed in the direction of both of our houses. There was no way out of that one without looking like an asshole.

While I was fine walking in silence, that seemed to make Kim uncomfortable. I wasn't sure why. In the past, I had been fine spending time with Kim precisely because she, more than almost anyone, was fine letting us exist in silence. For whatever reason, that wasn't happening tonight. Maybe it was part of the high of having someone take a suggestion she had cared about.

"It's nice, isn't it?" she asked, a bounce to her step as she walked. "I'd love if Emily and Rachel made up with each other."

I hummed in agreement. It would be nice, but Kim sounded more optimistic than me about the possibilities of such a thing happening. I didn't want to say as much and shatter her bubble.

"I hate when there's awkwardness between us, you know?"

Kim was searching for answers from me that were more than a short noise or word, but she was asking the wrong questions for that. I sighed, taking pity on her.

"Yeah, it's annoying," I said, but I couldn't add more when there was nothing to say about it.

Kim nodded in agreement, and I knew she was trying to decide what question was her next best bet.

"Do you think it will work?" she asked. This time she was nervous, fiddling with the hem of her shirt as she said it.

I sighed. This was the exact answer that I didn't want to give. Not when I knew Kim wanted me to approve of her suggestion. "It might," I allowed, figuring that was a positive enough answer that it wouldn't bother her too much. "You never know, but it stands at least as good a chance as Emily talking to her would."

Kim gave me a tight smile, accepting the answer without comment.

We arrived at her and Jared's house soon enough that I didn't have to deal with her saying anything else.

Continuing on the rest of the way home on my own, I tugged my phone out of my pocket and pulled up the messages I had last exchanged with Rachel.

Fair warning: Letter from Emily in mail soon, I sent.

I wasn't sure what kind of response I was going to get, but I wasn't surprised when my phone vibrated in my hand and I looked down to see shit across the screen.

July 26th, 2010

I'd prepared myself to fight today. Not that I had to prepare myself for it anymore. It was more like I was in a constant state of preparedness, like Sam and Jacob wanted.

Maybe going into the forest and going through various fight moves night after night had become second nature, but having to sit down and talk felt exhausting.

I didn't like this sort of thing on a good day. Listening to others go on and on angrily was always more than I wanted to deal with, but it was even more draining when you were physically exhausted.

It didn't help that the physical exhaustion also meant that everyone's tempers were short these days.

Sometimes, we felt like capable fighters. More often, I felt like I was in charge of a bunch of high school boys.

Which, I always realized belatedly, I was. High school boys who I was convinced were more prone to anger than the average high school boy, whether that was a side effect of being a wolf or a side effect of being forced to endure fight training multiple days a week.

"We're going to have a serious talk," Jacob said as he paced back and forth at the front of the living room.

Our entire pack had packed itself into the living room of Embry, Jake, and Quil's apartment. I'd been the first to arrive other than the three who lived here, and I'd realized since then that Jake was adamant about appearing like Mr. Tough Guy at this thing.

He kept shooting the boys disapproving looks each time they so much as twitched, and for once, they remained quiet as if sensing that doing differently would result in punishment.

It was so unlike the Jacob of the past yet truthful to who Jacob was becoming as we continued with our training.

"You're not taking this seriously enough," Jake continued.

I got the sense as he talked that at least some of this had come from Sam. I wondered if Jacob had went and asked for advice on how to deal with the situation or if Sam had offered it without any prompting. At this point, I wouldn't have been surprised by either.

"I don't feel like this should need to be repeated, but the Volturi are the most intimidating group of vampires in the world. Fighting them would be the hardest fight we could face as wolves. The training we're doing isn't for fun. It's crucial for our survival. Do I need to remind you that a failure to take this seriously could result in your death?"

Each of the younger boys had their eyes averted towards the floor. Only Embry, Quil, Seth, and I dared to look at the others. From the looks on the boys' faces, I could tell that they were fearful. Whether or not that fear had been newly instilled by Jake or had only been reawakened after laying dormant in the back of their minds I wasn't sure.

Either way, Jacob had managed what he had hoped to accomplish. For the moment. I was still unable to believe that he would manage to change their attitudes towards the training for the long haul.

"From now on there will be no goofing off during training. I mean it. Or else."

Jake had no idea how he would back up that threat. That was why he hadn't specified a punishment. He didn't have one, and he was hoping that they'd be scared enough that he wouldn't have to come up with one.

I rolled my eyes but stayed quiet. Part of me wished that Jake had discussed that part of his speech with me ahead of time. I was sure that I could have come up with consequences if he couldn't have, but saying as much now would ruin the effectiveness of what he was trying to achieve.

The boys nodded their heads. I was the only member of the pack who didn't bother to respond. As beta, I'd already been in charge of helping coral the pack. I wasn't who this speech was directed towards. Jake had narrowed his gaze onto the two biggest troublemakers in the pack: Moses and Robbie, who could often be found goofing off together during training sessions.

"Tomorrow we'll have our training session like always," Jake continued once he was certain that no one was going to try to disagree with him. "If any of you try to pull something…"

He once again left the consequences up to their imagination.

The boys mumbled their acknowledgment. While it was typically a given that the guys would stick around and talk with each other after a pack gathering, today they dispersed quickly, trying to get away from Jake.

"Nice job," Embry told Jacob when the others, excluding Quil, had all left. He sounded amused by what he'd witnessed. "Effective," he said with a smirk.

Quil snorted. I knew that the only thing keeping him in line during training sessions was living in the same apartment as Jacob. He couldn't afford to keep his roommate pissed off, but the fact that the talk hadn't been directed at him seemed to have given him enough confidence to joke about it.

"Think Moses pissed his pants," Quil quipped.

Jake rolled his eyes, heading for the kitchen instead of offering Quil or Embry a response. Embry and Quil both shared a look, questioning each other about what was up with their best friend. Neither of them seemed to have an answer. Quil even offered an exaggerated shrug.

I got it though. I got it too well.