I would've helped her. I would have thrown my career away to clear her name. I'd done it before, in Philly. A cop friend of mine had been framed for shooting some dope dealer, but I'd pressured all the informants I had, bullied the lab workers for faster results, and eventually handed over some of my anger to the dirtbag who set it up. I got suspended for two weeks, but my superior knew the circumstances and got the DA to let me off light. This was worse. I still can't figure out why she didn't come to me.

Ziva was framed for bombing two FBI agents and a federal witness. I didn't believe it for a second. I wanted to see her, and when I heard her voice from the number Abby gave me I almost crowed. I got to Gibbs' house as fast as I could without attracting suspicion. I was almost frantic. I needed to see her.

I stopped.

When did she become that important to me? When did that confused and betrayed tone in her voice make me want to hug her and tell her it would be okay? I decided to ignore it. I could figure out how I felt later, and Gibbs would sniff out any uncertainty I had like a hawk. Do hawks smell? It didn't matter, it was Gibbs, and I was in trouble.

I made a joke as I walked towards them, but I was trying to keep my emotions inside. She had that look. That sad, confused, little girl look that showed she was overwhelmed. I gritted my teeth and tried act normally. Maybe I didn't quite pull it off. I tried to be calm, Gibbs was there, and he would see if I was acting strange. Still, I had to say something. I tried to put all my feelings, the confusing new care for her, my anger at the people who'd tried to hurt her, the betrayal that she hadn't come to me, into those five, meaningless words. 'When I need to be.' And she stared that open, vulnerable look at me.

A few hours later that look was all I could see.

She was dead. Blown up. Little bitty pieces of her all over a field out in the middle of nowhere, where I should've been with her. I would never see her again.

That thought, that she was no longer existed, couldn't seem to get through my brain. It just bounced around, until I couldn't think straight.

When I saw her again I wanted to kiss her. The impulse struck me in front of Gibbs and McGee, and I stared at her because she was alive, she was there in front of me and she was so beautiful I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before.