Not much to say again, not very talkative since I'm pretty sick…

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-Jaunt

Chapter 7: Take a Deep Breath

The medics came running; having been told what bad shape Matt was by Ryan. Everyone in my squad was gathered around him as he labored to breath. Oh god he was so pale. Everyone stepped back except me and Marco who was supporting his head as his chest shuddered with his breathing. I clutched his hand tightly to keep him focused on the world around him. I'd be damned if I let him leave me for this. We may have only met a week and a half ago and he may be straight but he was mine! Mine I tell you and he wasn't going to get to leave me so easily! "Listen to me, Private! You're not given leave to die! So live! That's an order, dammit!" I cried out in pain as they looked him over, he couldn't die!

"Lieutenant, we're not going to take the bullet out here. Infection has set in already and we'd rather do this back at the hospital-"

"I'm coming with you." I said immediately and looked to Marco, "Keep an eye on things while I'm away." I didn't give the medics time to protest as I gave the order to Marco, "Jared and Mark, let the others in charge know of my absence."

"Lieutenant I really don't think-"

"Let's get moving we've wasted enough of his time already." They stopped trying to argue with me and got Matt onto a stretcher. I took half of it, I owed that much to him after he saved my life. Why had he done that? He owed me nothing… Absolutely nothing yet he had done that. I just didn't understand. I looked down at his pale face and felt even guiltier. If he were to die today, I would have to tell his family what had happened. I'd have to tell them that he took a bullet to save me and died from it. They'd hate me for eternity.

We carried the unconscious Matt to the ambulance to get him back to the safety of the hospital we had set up for the injured. Terry would already be there for his attempt to save me. Would he be out of surgery yet? The ride only took about ten minutes but it felt like forever as I watched Matt bleed in the back. I put my hand on his shoulder to give him the little bit of comfort I could offer.

He was taken from me when they rushed him into surgery the second they could. I looked around hopelessly and finally collapsed into a chair to wait it out. The TV was on but not with the news, it was playing some sappy cartoon movie that kids would be entertained by if they were here but why on Earth would there be kids here? We had evacuated the city nearly three weeks ago.

I must have fallen asleep because someone, a nurse, shook me awake gently, "Lieutenant, is Terry Brownell in your squadron?" I looked at her without comprehending her words for a few seconds. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and looked at her again. Terry Brownell?

"Yes, how is he?" I asked as I sat up quickly.

"Come see for yourself, he woke about ten minutes ago and was asking for you when we told him you were here."

"Any news of Mail Jeevas?" I had to know before I got excited.

"The doctors still have him in surgery." She couldn't tell me anything other than that? I glared at her angrily.

"And? What is his status? Is he gonna live or what?" Who cared it I was making a scene, this was one of my men we were talking about! No, not even that, he was the man that I was madly in love with.

"Lieutenant Keehl, please calm down. I will get you a status update as soon as I can now if you'd like to see Mr. Brownell please follow me." My anger suddenly deflated and I followed her dejectedly. I just wanted them to be okay. I wanted Terry and Matt to survive this and have Ron not be dead… Poor Ron. Guilt overwhelmed me as I followed the thin nurse to the room Terry was in.

The other bed was empty, that was the first thing I noticed the second was that Terry was sitting up in bed eating what looked like his dinner. "Hey! Lieutenant, what's up?" He asked cheerily. I sighed with relief; he was going to be okay.

"What's this? I expect to see you on your death bed only to find you slacking off?" I joked as I pulled up a chair next to his bed. Given that he did look a little pale, he was otherwise doing really well to the naked eye.

"You know me, always finding a way to put my feet up while you do all the work." He pushed away his empty tray of food and looked at me with his alert blue eyes. I smiled slightly and relaxed in my chair, "You look stressed, what happened?"

"Matt was shot and I didn't even know until it could have been to late-"

"What? When?" He demanded and tried to sit up. His face drained of all color and he fell back onto his pillows panting. I jumped up and skittered for an unsure moment until he held his hand up, "I'm fine, I'm fine. Just… It hurts, you know? But it was worth it, Lieutenant." He gave me a weak smile as I forced myself it sit back down and relax to keep him calm, "When did Matt get shot?" Matt and Terry had become pretty good friends, they had slept next to each other and talked a lot while everyone was getting ready for bed.

"When you protected me, Matt must have had the same reaction and tried to pull me back and took the fourth bullet to the side pretty deep. We didn't find out until he collapsed coming up to the campfire." Terry bit his lip in a way I found very attractive on Matt and looked to the dark window.

"Dammit, I try and protect you to find that Matt gets shot… I feel like a failu-"

"Shut up and don't even think of calling yourself a failure, man. You saved my life, you did. I owe you everything Terry. Don't ever call yourself a failure again, that's my job." His answering smile was genuine and warm; he reached over and put his calloused hand on my light blond hair.

"Oh Mihael, you really aren't your father's son, are you?" Most people would hate hearing that but me? I loved it. My father and I did not get along very well for a lot of reasons. He was cold and very militaristic while I preferred the happier aspects of life. I loved knowing my men and knowing that they trusted me. I loved seeing them happy; I loved seeing their faces when they were reunited after a battle. I was a people person, you could say. "You know, Lieutenant, if you really feel that way about M-"

"Lieutenant Keehl, Mail Jeevas has just come out of surgery." I stood quickly and walked out so the doctor could tell me what was to become of my Matt. My Matt… I hadn't thought of him like that before but he was mine in a way.

"How is he?" I asked softly as I leaned against the wall next to the closed door.

"It was pretty touch and go for a while after we got the bullet out but with some hard work and a little miracle, he'll pull through. We caught the infection soon enough that it won't affect him too much but it will slow down the healing a few days. No major organs were damaged beyond repair, another miracle, and we were able to fix him up pretty well. He'll make an almost full recovery physically but mentally… We have no idea of the damage this could have caused him. He's asleep now but you may come see him if you'd like-"

"Of course I want to see him." I said quickly. Matt was going to live… I had never felt lighter in my life. The weight of this whole situation had been weighing heavily upon my shoulders. The same nurse from before lead me to the end of the hall and turned left with me on her heels.

"He's right in there, please let him rest. He lost a lot of blood." I took a deep breath and walked into his room.

Matt lay on the bed as white as a ghost and as still as a still as a corpse. His chest was the only thing moving, rising and falling slightly as he breathed easily in his sleep. I walked over and sat next to him, taking his hand in mine. I leaned into the bed and watched him breathe for a while as I looked at his beautiful face marred by the deep gash on his cheek that had been stitched closed.

His red hair had been pushed from his face, leaving his forehead exposed. I couldn't help but smile; it was about five shades paler than the rest of his face with little marks from where he always pushed his goggles up to. His eyebrows looked almost feminine with the way they curved so perfectly over his closed eyes. Whoa, he sure had long lashes. He must get a lot of his traits from his mother because he really did have a beautiful face. Matt's cheek bones were slightly raised up, casting shadows over his cheeks ever so slightly. His nose was perfect; the type of nose people took to their doctors and said "I want a nose like this!" His lips were slightly parted as he breathed, showing his perfect white teeth. I really loved his mouth; it looked like the perfect mouth for kissing. His lips were in perfect proportion to each other, the top not bigger than the bottom, and a soft pink color that you wanted on a man. His jaw was a hard line that was now covered in red stubble from not being shaved in a while. Even while his overall construction was very feminine, he looked damn rugged somehow. He looked like and English god of sex, to be honest.

Watching this mysterious man breathe put me at ease. Knowing he would live made my heart soar… Yeah, I had it for him. Real bad.