Blaine Anderson had always considered himself to be a very good judge of character. However, there was a big difference between knowing how to read people and falling for the right people. The former Warbler had a horrible track record when it came to his crushes, and apparently it wasn't getting any better the older he got. There was the Sadie Hawkins dance incident. The big cosmic joke was Blaine didn't even really like the guy; it was just the fact that he was literally the only other out guy in school, and Blaine had just come out to his father and he wanted to be anywhere other than home that night.
Blaine didn't really have anything in common with the other boy, but it was nice to feel like he wasn't alone for the first time. The other boy was so different than him, so confident and sure of himself; just being able to see someone like that who had gone through what Blaine was going through gave him hope that, in the end, things would at least get better with his dad. He knew he didn't have any romantic feelings for the other boy; all Blaine really wanted was just someone to talk to about everything that was running through his head. That night changed everything.
Right after that, his father enrolled him in Dalton and he met Jeff. Blaine had meant it when he told Sam that Jeff was a mistake that needed to happen. He had learned so much from what they had, and he could tell that maybe there was still a spark between the two of them – but he couldn't go back to that. It wasn't Jeff's fault at all, but that time period for Blaine was toxic, and he didn't want to risk going back to that ever again. He was glad that they ended up being friends. Being able to get through Jeff helped Blaine grow to become more sure of himself and what he wanted, but he still had no idea how to go about making sure it happened.
Things didn't get any better with Blaine's misguided crush on Jeremiah; looking back on it, he knew it was just unrequited puppy love caused by the future potential of discounted clothing. He was upset about how it played out though. It was the first time he had honestly tried to put himself out there after what happened with Jeff the year before. When it happened, deep down he was more concerned with not being able to show his face in the mall any time soon than he was that Jeremiah didn't return his feelings. It might have made him a little bit shallow, but so what - Blaine was man enough to admit it. He did feel bad that the older boy had lost his job, but he mourned the potential lost visits to The Lima Bean more than the lack of contact with his crush. Okay, maybe shallow wasn't the right word. In that instance, selfish would have worked better.
For a while Kurt had joked around with him about it, telling him: "You should have waited until you bought everything you wanted in the store first. Fashion has no sympathy and it waits for no man."
Kurt… Kurt was another bag of worms all together. He had been so wrapped up in his infatuation with Jeremiah that he had completely misread Kurt's actions as friendship, when ultimately Kurt wanted much more. It took a while for the two of them to get their timing right, but eventually they both decided to take a chance and see what was going on between them.
The two of them being together wasn't something that came easily. They never really could quite figure out where the line between romance and friendship was. Blaine considered himself a hopeless romantic, but for some reason any time Kurt had done something, all Blaine got was a friendship vibe from him. The reverse was true, too. Any time Blaine tried to do something romantic, Kurt just assumed he was being silly and making a joke. It didn't help that Kurt constantly looked to Blaine like he had a better grasp on the situation than he did. The reality of it was that they both were basically in the same place - neither of them had ever had an actual boyfriend.
Their real differences started to show when they opened up about their mutual brief flirtation with the female population. Granted, Blaine had only kissed Rachel twice – and the first time was during a game of spin the bottle, so that didn't technically count – whereas Kurt had almost had sex with Brittany. It hurt when Kurt had made the comments about bisexuality that he did. It didn't make any sense to Blaine since he had only kissed a girl while Kurt had almost slept with one. Of course, the gap that was growing between them only got bigger when Blaine had been honest and told Kurt about how he had gone much farther with a guy than Kurt ever did. Ultimately, they decided that they just worked better as friends and left it at that. Surprisingly, it wasn't awkward at all. They fit together just as well as they always had. In fact, removing the possibility of a romantic pairing seemed to make the two of them work better.
And then there was Sam. The past few weeks had been weird. At first Blaine thought Sam was going to jump him – and not in the good kind of way – but after their initial misunderstanding, they seemed to have patched things up. Sam had been there for Blaine to help him pick up the pieces after he had been slushied, and that was where their friendship had started to bloom. Blaine had gotten the impression that Sam was the kind of guy that couldn't help but help people. He was one of those white knight, tortured soul types that sent Blaine's heart through the roof. Of course, it didn't hurt that Blaine had thought the muscular blond was hot when he had seen him perform for the first time at sectionals.
Blaine knew he was doomed when the two of them actually began spending time together. There was just something about Sam that he couldn't put his finger on. There was so much sadness in the way he carried himself, but when Blaine could connect with him, it all changed. It had been a struggle to bring the other boy out of his shell, but it was more than worth it when he got to see the adorable, selfless, dorky guy who had a smile that could light up a ballpark if he'd only find a reason to smile. Initially, Blaine had felt bad for neglecting Kurt and his other friends, but there was just something about spending time with Sam that he couldn't pass up.
Of course, that's when everything went wrong. Blaine knew he could be a little too forward for his own good most of the time, and that he probably should dial back the not-so subtle flirting he had been doing with Sam – but it was difficult. It was actually cute because Sam really had no clue that the two of them had been flirting. Everything was fine until last week. Every time Blaine replayed the scene in his mind, he had to fight back tears. What happened that turned the sweet boy, who had helped him when they first met, into the monster that said they couldn't be friends because he wasn't "like him"?
The past few days had been incredibly difficult for Blaine. His entire routine had to change yet again, just to cut Sam out. Lunch time was the worst though. He didn't mind sitting with Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes, but every day all that ran through his mind were the conversations he would have with Sam; lunch was just lunch now, ever since their fight. Blaine would just sit with everyone else and completely ignore everything his other friends were talking about. Every once and a while, Blaine's eyes would dart around and he would find Sam sitting alone, just staring at their table, and what little appetite he had would vanish.
For once, Blaine was thankful that the two of them didn't share any classes. It was hard enough avoiding his former crush at lunch time and in Glee Club; he didn't think he could handle trying to avoid him in class, too.
The duet he was singing with Kurt for their Glee Club assignment was the only thing Blaine had to distract himself from his current situation. When they did perform, it didn't go well. All Blaine could focus on was Sam's reaction. Everyone else was watching the two of them, but it seemed like Sam was going out of his way to look in any direction but his. Blaine was so distracted that he found himself missing the steps he and Kurt had worked on, as well as some of the lyrics. He knew Kurt would kill him for it, so when Mercedes pulled him aside right after Glee Club had ended for the day, saying she needed his help with a problem, he jumped at the chance. It wouldn't fix his issues, but at the very least it would keep Kurt from running him into the ground today.
"So," Blaine said, absentmindedly stirring his coffee. He didn't know why he suggested they go to The Lima Bean. He hadn't gone back since the fight with Sam last week. Being there now only reminded Blaine of that hurt. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to see what's going on before Kurt goes off on you for messing up your duet today."
"It was that obvious?" Blaine asked nervously.
"No song in the world has the word 'tomato' in its chorus. Your mind was clearly somewhere else."
"I just haven't been feeling well."
"Maybe you caught whatever Sam had last week," Mercedes shrugged. "Oh God, don't let Rachel find out. The girl will come to school in a full body hazmat suit. Don't look at me like that! I love the girl, but she's crazy."
Blaine flinched at the mention of Sam's name. The situation was bad enough as it was; he didn't need anyone else bringing it up. "That must be it."
"It makes sense. I mean, the two of you spend a lot of time together. If one of you gets sick, it's only a matter of time before -"
"Can we not talk about Sam?" Blaine blurted out.
"Hah," Mercedes let out a laugh as she banged her hand on the table. "I knew you had a crush on the boy. It's like a right of passage to crush on Sam. So, why haven't you guys been hanging out like you used to?"
Blaine was torn. He didn't want to talk about what was going on, but at the same time if he did ever need to vent, his options were really limited. He couldn't talk to Sam for obvious reasons, and it would have been awkward talking to Rachel since they kissed, plus Blaine knew he wouldn't feel right talking to Kurt about it either. It was all too complicated, but he knew that letting it build up wouldn't end well.
"I, um, we got to talking about our exes and one of mine showed up and things got a little… flirty. It – I guess it freaked Sam out, and yeah, we just stopped hanging out."
"I'm sure you're overreacting," Mercedes brushed of Blaine's comments like they were nothing. "He probably is still upset about the whole Quinn-Santana mess. From what Kurt said, when Sam found out he had a crush on him, too, Sam was a total gentleman about it. I think Kurt said he was 'honorable' or something like that. Sam Evans doesn't have a nasty bone in his entire body."
Blaine sighed. He might as well tell Mercedes everything now. There was no point in coming this far and not following through. "We were going to do a movie marathon at my place, but he needed to watch his siblings and so I offered to come over and help him… He said I shouldn't go to his house, and that it was weird that we spend so much time together," Blaine's voice began to crack, getting softer with each passing word. "H-he said we should stop hanging out, a-and that he wasn't 'like' me…"
"Blaine -"
Blaine pulled away when he felt Mercedes squeeze his hand. He didn't mean for everything to come out like it had, but it was too late to do anything about it now. He quickly jumped up, grabbing his cup and began to leave. "I haven't told anyone else. Please don't say anything, okay?"
"Hey, I can keep a secret."
For what felt like the first time in Sam's short life, he had spent less than ten minutes in the comic book store. The second Sam set foot into the store, all he could think of was how much fun he had there with Blaine over the past two weeks. It had sort of become their thing and, even though they had only gone twice, Sam felt weird being there without the other boy now. He only stayed long enough to pick up his books and leave; it was just too much for Sam to take. It was like the entire experience had been ruined, and he didn't even have the desire to read any of the books he just bought.
He was glad when he had gotten the text from Mercedes asking him to meet her at The Lima Bean. Sam knew he wouldn't be able to enjoy anything right now, but at least it was better than going home. He made quick work of ordering his drink, a medium drip, just like last time, and found Mercedes at a table. He'd be lying if he said the look she was giving him didn't have him scared - he was honestly afraid to find out what she wanted to meet with him about. The only other time Sam had ever seen her this angry was when Karofsky tormented Kurt at the beginning of the year.
"Hey," Sam said as he took the empty seat across from the clearly pissed off girl.
"Don't you 'hey' me, boy," Mercedes said, folding her arms across her chest.
"Umm," Sam let out a nervous chuckle. "Why are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?"
"Don't play stupid with me. I know what you did, Sam Evans."
"Okay, seriously, I have no clue what you're talking about. If you just wanted to yell at me for no reason, you're kind of wasting your time. I've got plenty of people who have reasons to yell at me."
"I bet. It's easy to yell at someone 'like you.'"
Sam began choking violently on his coffee. There was no way Mercedes could have known what she said… could she? It just had to be a coincidence that would lead to one of those tragically funny headlines in the news: "Teenage boy's life cut short due to drowning in a coffee shop – tune in at 11 p.m. for all the details." The sad thing was Sam knew that was better than he deserved at this point.
"Mmhm, that's what you get. You can't help who you're attracted to, but I really thought you of all people would have found a more tactful way of letting Blaine down. You didn't need to be a jackass and break his heart."
Sam's eyes darted around anxiously. He knew everyone had watched him when he started to choke, but he couldn't help but be paranoid and think that they could hear the conversation word for word. "What do you mean?"
"You honestly had no clue that Blaine had - and judging by how sad he's been acting lately, still has - a huge crush on you?"
"What?" Sam felt like his cheeks were on fire. "Blaine doesn't… he liked me?"
"He did, but then you had to be an ass about it, which I still don't understand. It's not like other guys haven't crushed on you before."
"I-I didn't know. Come on – you know I'm not homophobic or anything like that. I didn't mean to say something like that."
"Yeah," Mercedes' tone was finally beginning to lighten. "The real question is, if it really was just a misunderstanding, what are you going to do to fix it?"
Sam didn't know what to say. He knew that he hurt Blaine with what he said, but he had no idea that the other boy had a crush on him. Was that why Blaine had spent so much time with him and gone to the comic book store? Had they ever really been friends? This new knowledge only made Sam feel worse. There had finally been someone in Sam's life that had genuinely cared for him, and all he had done was manage to screw it up and prove that he didn't deserve anything good at all. Sam had finally gotten a taste of what it felt like for someone to accept him for who he was, and how good that could feel and now there was no chance of getting that back with Blaine.
"He won't even talk to me," Sam's voice was soft when he spoke.
"That's because people get stubborn when someone they like hurts them. If Blaine won't talk to you, then you need to figure out a way to prove to him that you didn't mean to hurt his feelings. But to do that, you're going to need to figure out why you said it in the first place. And you know I've got your back since you helped me out last week, but you need to fix this. It's bad enough I have to lend an ear to Rachel and Kurt's freak outs - I can't add you and Blaine into the mix."
There was no other way to describe it: Sam was miserable. Even now, sitting in Brittany's room, which was far too cheery considering his current mood, wasn't helping him any. He knew that the two of them needed to work on their duet, but he couldn't keep his mind from wandering to the conversations he had with Santana, Blaine and Mercedes. He still had no idea what to do about any of it.
Sam knew he could never go through with breaking Brittany and Artie up – it just wasn't the kind of guy he was. But on the other hand, Sam didn't think he could ever say anything as hurtful and nasty as he did to Blaine. All Sam wanted to do was protect the one real friend he had. In fact, he didn't want to hurt Blaine at all. And then Mercedes said that Blaine had a crush on him. Sam knew that couldn't be true; there were a ton of other guys that he would have a crush on before him. He couldn't think of a single reason why Blaine would even want to like him that way.
The fact that he couldn't get his mind off of the whole situation bothered Sam. It didn't help that the only thing he could focus on was the fight they had. If he had to keep replaying a scene in his mind, why couldn't it be one of the good times he had with Blaine? Why did it have to be what was quite possibly the worst thing that happened to him in the past few months?
"I'm sorry I keep spacing out," Sam sighed as he absentmindedly strummed the guitar in his hands. "I'm not going to be able to focus today. I've just got a lot of stuff on my mind."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Brittany asked, placing the guitar Sam had brought over for her to use on her bed. "I'm not really good at talking, but I'm a good listener. Sometimes I don't even know when I'm doing it."
The problem was Sam didn't know what he wanted right now. He didn't want to talk about what was going on because honestly the situation was so horrible he didn't even want to admit it existed. Yet, there was no way he could fix what happened with Blaine on his own, let alone deal with Santana. Sam knew he needed help and, after the incident at The Lima Bean, he knew he had to do something quickly, at least for Blaine.
"Why are you friends with Santana?"
"I dunno," Brittany said. "Why are you friends with Blaine?"
"Blaine is nothing like Santana," Sam said through gritted teeth.
Sam couldn't believe that anyone would compare Blaine to Santana. All Santana ever did was make fun of him and hurt everyone. Blaine was so different than her. It was like the other boy went out of his way to always make sure he felt comfortable and like he belonged. Sam couldn't explain the way he felt when he was spending time with him. Blaine had never made him feel stupid, even when he said something he knew the other boy didn't understand. When he spent time with Blaine, it was like all of his insecurities and problems just melted away and he could just be himself and be happy. Sam had never felt anything like that in his entire life, and he wanted it back. No, it wasn't just about wanting that feeling back - he needed it back. He needed Blaine.
"Blaine… he's a great guy. He just wants everybody to be happy. Santana isn't your friend, Brittany… She's a bad person, like old school movie, mustache twirling villain 'bad.' Santana makes my dad look like a decent human being."
"People just don't understand her. She's always been really nice to me. She used to yell at kids when I'd pull my dress up over my head when I'd use the monkey bars."
Sam sighed. All he wanted to do was to grab Brittany and shake her until she could focus on what he was saying. "Well, Santana isn't the same person she was at recess in kindergarten."
"Umm, the monkey bars happened last week."
"Brittany, please… just focus for like one minute, okay?" Now Sam was even more frustrated. He wasn't trying to be mean, but he really needed this to sink in with Brittany so she could help him. "Santana isn't your friend, and she is not a good person. She wanted me to convince you to cheat on Artie so he would leave you."
"Oh…" Brittany's voice trailed off.
Sam couldn't tell if Brittany's pause meant that what he said was sinking in, or if she had stopped paying attention again. He hated having to be the one to tell Brittany about the type of person Santana really was, but he couldn't let Santana ruin anyone else's life. "If she were really your friend, she wouldn't try to rip you away from someone who cares about you and makes you happy just because she wants you to be miserable and alone like she is."
"How do I know you aren't trying to trick me?" Brittany asked.
"When you first met my dad, I asked you to keep what he was like a secret from everyone and you did. I trusted you, and you're like the only person in school who hasn't let me down. I-I just need you to believe me and trust me, like I trusted you."
"Pinky swear?" Brittany asked.
Sam reached out and wrapped each of his pinkies around Brittany's and gave them a squeeze. He thought it was weird the first time they had done it a few weeks ago, but it clearly meant a lot to Brittany and, if doing it again would mean that she believed him, he had no problem with it. "Double pinky swear."
"Why did she want you to do it?" Brittany asked, after a pause that was long even for her.
"She's still mad that I broke up with her, and she wanted to make me miserable, too. She said if I didn't break you guys up, she'd tell everyone that Blaine switched schools because we're secretly dating or something."
"It makes sense," Brittany shrugged. "Blaine totally has a crush on you. Even I can see it."
Sam just shook his head and chuckled. Why had everyone but him apparently seen that Blaine had a crush on him? If one more person said that, Sam knew he should just start believing he was as dumb as everyone thought he was. He thought after everything he had gone through with Quinn and Santana that by now he would be able to tell if someone liked him or not. Apparently, he still needed to work on that skill.
"Why do you think Blaine has a crush on me?" He wasn't entirely sure that he wanted the answer to that, but ever since Santana had spoken with him, it seemed like every conversation anyone had with Sam revolved around Blaine having a crush on him. With how frequently it kept coming up, he knew there had to be something to it after all.
"He looks at you the way Finn looks at Rachel when she sings. Like he really likes you and just wants to be with you and only you… and that he wants to eat a sandwich."
"This might sound really weird right now, but – how did you figure out you liked Artie?"
"It was easy," Brittany said, looking into Sam's eyes. "Once I was sure he wasn't a robot. I was confused because it's like your little brother's toy that starts out as a motorcycle and ends up a giant robot – I thought he was still transforming."
Sam couldn't help but sigh. He genuinely cared for Brittany and he thought it was cute when she got sidetracked, but right now he really needed a direct answer. He couldn't explain it, but for some reason he really needed to hear her answer. "Brittany, this is really important, okay?"
"Sorry," Brittany said softly.
"It's my fault. I'm just in a bad mood and I'm taking it out on everyone."
"I know I'm stupid and weird, and I say really dumb things that make people not want to talk to me… but Artie doesn't treat me like it. I don't feel like an idiot when I'm with him. He can be really funny, he's smart and he doesn't make fun of me when I forget how to go home. He's the first person who really treated me like I mattered."
"But those are the kind of things that you can feel around friends. I mean that's kind of like us. I don't feel stupid when I say weird things around you. How did you know that what you felt for Artie was… more?"
"When you first joined Glee Club I did something that hurt him. He was super mad at me; he wouldn't even look at me or talk to me. I didn't even know what I did hurt him, but it made me feel awful that he could hate me. I know I can be mean sometimes and not even really know it, but it just felt wrong hurting Artie."
Sam sat there and let Brittany's words sink in. It was like she was describing what he felt when he spent time with Blaine. It was finally starting to connect in his brain. He was a completely different person around Blaine, and he felt like crap now that he had hurt his best friend. Nothing mattered when they were together because Blaine was the first person he had ever felt safe around. Sam began nodding his head up and down frantically - he knew that he must look like an idiot but it didn't matter. He needed to work through this and, if he didn't do it now, he'd never work up the nerve again.
"That's how it is when I hang around Blaine." Sam let out a deep breath before continuing. "I-I think I like him… like more than a friend…"
Authors note: It's been really hectic, and I lost my beta and I've been on this emotional roller coaster with Glee recently, but I do have the next chapter half written already and lots more plotted out, so it shouldn't be too long between updates.
