Hi. Um, I don't know anything about medical doctor stuff things, so I'm sorry. I hope you guys don't mind or get confused. Oh, and once again, my computer deleted this after I wrote like half of it, so I'm sorry if it sucks.
I don't own Big Time Rush.
Carlos sat in the cold, plastic chair, shaking and holding on tightly to Mrs. Knight's hands. He hadn't been able to let go of it since he sat down, because having her there made him feel a lot better. He didn't know where Kendall was or if he was okay and it was killing him. He didn't understand why Mrs. Knight wasn't mad at him, because he knew it was all his fault Kendall got hurt. And he didn't know why Logan, James, and Katie were being so forgiving, either. He didn't deserve it at all.
"Carlos, do you want to go get something to eat?" Mrs. Knight suddenly asked, interrupting Carlos' thoughts.
"No thanks," he mumbled, staring at his shoes.
"Are you sure? You haven't eaten anything all day," Logan said softly. "Do you want to get a corn dog or something? I'll go get you one," he offered. He was worried about his unusually quiet friend.
"I'm sure...maybe later," he replied. Logan sighed but nodded as he exchanged a worried glance with James and sat back in his seat.
Carlos suddenly felt tears stinging his eyes. He was tired of waiting in this stupid hospital, and if it wasn't for him, they probably wouldn't be here anyway. He should have just moved out of the way instead of waiting for Kendall to come save him. He was such an idiot, and he knew it. And he would never forgive himself for being so stupid. He would never forgive Kendall for being an idiot and jumping in front of him, either, but he changed his mind about that one quickly. Kendall was his hero. He was just being an amazing friend, and Carlos would never be able to stay mad at him. Besides, if it was the other way around, Carlos wouldn't have wanted Kendall to be mad at him. And that thought led him to another idea: he wished he could have saved Kendall. Then, no one would be secretly mad at him, he wouldn't be feeling so guilty, Kendall wouldn't be hurt, and he would finally be the hero. He would have been the one to save the day, and it would have proved that he wasn't a baby, while right now, he was acting like a little baby.
He decided to just think about something else, like kittens, and try to forget where he was and what was going on. That was hard, though, since the sound of people crying and doctors and nurses rushing around filled his ears. He heard the other people in the room quietly talking to one another, and then he heard a familiar voice. A voice that he knew he would never forget. A voice that sounded heartbroken as it quietly whispered his name.
"Carlos?"
His head snapped up immediately, and he looked into the little girl's tear-filled eyes. His heart filled with sadness at the sight of her, and he finally let go of Mrs. Knight comforting hand and knelt down in front of her so he could give her a hug.
"Are you okay, Gabby?" he asked softly as he wrapped her in his arms. "Did you get hurt?"
She shook her head as she pulled out of their hug. "No...but Mommy did," she answered quietly, rubbing her eyes to stop her tears. Carlos felt his heart break for the little girl.
"I'm so sorry, Gabby. I'm sure she'll be fine, don't worry. Are you here alone?" he asked worriedly when he noticed no one else was around her. She shook her head again and pointed to a man sitting down not too far away, who Carlos assumed was her father. He was watching them, and he sent Carlos a small, thankful smile.
"Where's Kendall?" she asked. Carlos let out a deep breath and tried his hardest not to start crying.
"Kendall got hurt too," he told her. "But we think he'll be okay. I'm sure he would love to see you when he's a little better. Do you want to?"
"Okay," she smiled. "Daddy wanted me to say thank you for taking care of me," she told him. Carlos smiled at her.
"You're welcome, but it was mostly Kendall. You should thank him instead."
Before she could reply, a doctor came out and called someone's name. Gabby's father stood up, and when the little girl saw him, she quickly said goodbye to Carlos before running back over to her dad.
"Who was that?" James asked.
Carlos slowly got to his feet and sat back down. "She was in the bank with her mom. Kendall saved her too," he replied.
He watched Gabby's father pick her up and kiss her head before following the doctor out of the waiting room. Carlos sighed, wishing someone would tell them if Kendall was okay.
And his wish came true, because at that moment, a doctor came out and called Kendall's name.
Carlos, Logan, James, Mrs. Knight, and Katie all rushed through the halls of the hospital, searching for Kendall's room. If they didn't get yelled at for running and being too loud, they probably would have gotten there already, but the nurse that yelled at them told them they would have to leave if they didn't stop cheering. None of them could contain their happiness though, knowing Kendall was okay and waiting for them.
Finally, after what seemed like hours but was really only a few minutes, they found themselves standing outside of Kendall's room. Mrs. Knight flung the door open and rushed to her son's side, kissing him a thousand times and repeating over and over again how much she loved him. James, Logan, and Katie awkwardly stood behind her, but Carlos stayed in the hallway.
How was he supposed to go in there and face Kendall? What was he supposed to say? Thank you? That would never be good enough, and Carlos knew that. He didn't deserve to see Kendall. As much as he wanted to, he knew he couldn't. He stood outside, listening to Mrs. Knight baby her son before he heard Kendall say something.
"Where's Carlos?"
He felt the guilt eat him up again. He was just about to turn around and run when he felt someone grab his shirt and pull him into the room. He stared down at his shoes and avoided looking at Kendall, knowing it would just make him cry.
"Hey, buddy," Kendall said. "You okay?"
Carlos finally looked up at his friend, his eyes shining with tears. Kendall's arm was all wrapped up, but Carlos did his best to ignore that as he slowly made his way over to the bed and sat down next to it. Kendall smiled at him, but that only caused the smaller boy to start crying.
"I-I'm sorry, K-Kendall! I-it's a-all my f-fault!" he whispered, furiously wiping the tears away from his eyes.
Kendall frowned when he saw Carlos crying. He stretched his good arm out and gently put his hand on his friend's shoulder. Carlos flinched at the touch and looked up at Kendall.
"It's not your fault, Carlos," Kendall assured him. "It's mine. I was the one that-"
"I should have just moved out of the way!" Carlos exclaimed. "I let you get hurt!"
"You didn't know, Carlos! You shouldn't be blaming yourself!" Kendall replied. "And I'm fine. Nothing happened to me, it doesn't even matter."
"Yes, it does..." Carlos muttered.
Kendall sighed and looked over at everyone else. "Will you guys please tell him how stupid he's being?" he asked.
"Yeah, Carlos, you're being stupid," James said with a tiny smile. "Kendall doesn't care. He's just happy that you're okay, so really, he got what he wanted, and you should be happy about that!"
"Yeah, you should be happy!" Kendall agreed.
Carlos sighed, staring down at his hands. He could feel everyone watching him, and he hated it. How was he supposed to forgive himself that easily? He had to sit here and see Kendall in a hospital bed, and he couldn't stand it. He knew it was his fault. He didn't deserve forgiveness.
"Carlos, don't you know why Kendall pushed you out of the way?" Logan asked. Carlos continued to stare at his hands. "Because he didn't want you to get hurt. He didn't care if he died, as long as you were okay. It was his choice. It's not your fault at all!"
"Exactly," Kendall said. "And I didn't die, I just got a little bit hurt. If I didn't push you out of the way, we would've lost our happy best friend! I didn't get hurt just so you would be sad, did I?"
"I guess not..." Carlos muttered, finally giving in and glancing up at him.
"So why are you being sad?" Kendall asked. "It's just making me sad!"
A tiny smile graced Carlos' face for a moment, before it stretched into a huge grin. He wrapped Kendall up in a hug.
"You're the best, Kendall! I'm sorry I was acting sad!" he said before letting go. "Thanks for saving me!"
Kendall smiled at him. "No problem, Carlos."
Carlos' smile somehow stretched even further. "I love you, Kendall, you're the best!" he exclaimed.
The blonde boy laughed. "Love you too, bud."
Stupid ending, sorry! I kinda rushed the end because I was half asleep, but I was trying to put this up all weekend. And I don't know when I'll be able to update the next chapter because finals are starting and I'm going to be studying a lot... Well, I hope you liked it, and it would mean a lot if you reviewed! :] Thanks!
