A/N Short chapter! I might update twice this month to make up for it. In the meantime, please leave a review x
I can feel their eyes boring into me whenever I face away from them, their whispers, hidden behind their hands. Now they know I'm a murderer, like the boy from Ten, and I no longer have their trust. I know it is too late to turn back on our plan, that Abernathy will never forgive me, and that they still deserve to live, but their behaviour is making it… difficult.
I take Cossie and Willow gathering, leaving Ash in charge of finding meat. This was their decision, not mine- I think it was because they do not want any of them to be left on their own with me. It's understandable, of course, but it doesn't make it any easier. And before long, I start to worry that they might be planning to kill me, for vengeance. They know how to hunt now, have grown stronger under my tutelage, my training. Me! The three of them, working together, could easily overpower me, and I was the one that taught them how to do it. I crush the berries I am holding in my fist, the blood, the juice, running scarlet between my fingers. The gash on my leg throbs, but I barely notice.
"Denna!" Cosssie calls over. I jump. "Are you okay?"
"I look down at my stained hand. "Yes. There was… an insect."
She narrowed her eyes. "Right."
I opened my fist and let the mush fall to the ground, before wiping my hand on my torn pants. I think back to the tribute I had taken pity on a few days ago, and how bothered I had been by taking his life. It seems like nothing now, compared to what I have done, become. Before I can do anything else, I hear Willow being sent to go and stare at a tree with her hands over her ears, and Cossie seizing my wrist.
"I want to talk to you," she said, eyes blazing. I swallow. But if she wants to kill me, then she wouldn't do it now, with so little protection, out in the open and with Willow to look after.
"What?" I ask shortly, not meeting her eyes.
She lets go of me. "You know we don't blame you for Jed's death, right? We could all see it coming, even if you couldn't. It- it was only a matter of time."
I look up suddenly, breathing shallow. I feel the ground rushing upwards and slam into my knees and I lean forward, laughing weakly. Or maybe I am crying.
"Denna!" Cossie sinks down next to me. "It's okay, it's alright, you're not in trouble, we don't-"
"I'm so sorry," I mumble, wrapping my arms tightly around my shoulders, slowly beginning to rock backwards and forwards. "I th- I thought you were going to kill me too, I thought I deserved it, I was so sure, I was going to run off and I, I don't know what's happening to me, Twelve. This wasn't part of the plan," I sob.
"It wasn't much of a plan to begin with," she tells me, stroking my hair. I know this is not what should be happening, that Abernathy and the sponsors won't like it- I'm meant to be their guardian, I must not show weakness. But now Willow is here too, and they're both whispering to me, and I can't hear what they're saying but it doesn't matter- they are here, and that is enough.
