The Tequila in the Anthropologist

Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Bones... Bummer

Temperance Brennan was particularly pleased that her apology to Booth had been more successful than her disastrous attempt to deal with his declaration of love. Even at their lowest ebb, when nothing would have been easier than to walk away, Booth had stepped in to her emotional safety net yet again, and she had been saved by it, without really comprehending why. Of course, she would refute the validity of the concept of an emotional safety net, and he would deny any allegations of 'White Knight' behaviour. One thing was for sure, Sweets had a bigger job on his hands than he could conceivably imagine – think Decepticon invasion times a thousand. These two were set on a heading into abnormal psychology territory where no twelve-year-old had gone before.

Booth had left Bones to eat, and finally put on some pants, while he went back to the Hoover Building to attend some lame briefing that DD Hacker had called for at the eleventh hour. At the very least, Booth mused, he could get started on his backlog of 'Hail Mary's' – because he and Bones were meeting to conduct the experiment tonight ('Why wait' Bones had reasoned. It was not as if they were waiting for ethical approval). Her was bringing take-out and meeting her in Bone Storage, of all places, at 7:30 p.m. Booth had wondered why they couldn't just go to a bar, but got confused when Bones started mumbo-jumboing on about controlled conditions.

In fact, Brennan may have had a point about controlled conditions. Dr. Lance Sweets had just emerged from Bone Storage after an impromptu lunchtime 'session' with his bride-to-be, Daisy Wicks. Apparently even soft scientists adhered to experimental methods.

Sweets decided that he was going to try to catch up with Agent Booth while he was in the neighbourhood. He had been closeted in with Dr. Brennan when he had arrived to take Daisy to lunch. As he headed to see Dr. Brennan, he noted that the forensics platform was free from human remains and that the door to her office was open. From the doorway, Sweets noted that she was at her desk, focused on a pile of reports in front of her. Dr. Brennan looked a little tired, but Sweets did not see any outward signs of agitation. Just as he was about to knock on the door, she looked up and fixed him with an icy gaze.

"Come in Dr. Sweets. There is something that I wish to discuss with you" said Brennan. For some reason Sweets got the feeling that she had omitted the words 'before you die' from the end of her statement, but he received the silent message, loud and clear. She stood and waved him into her office, her carriage and the set of her jaw indicated barely concealed anger and hostility. As they faced off in the middle of the room, he realised that he was a dead man. The best that Sweets could hope for was to survive as the Hoover Building's first eunuch.

"I was hoping that Agent Booth would be here..." began Sweets.

Brennan cut him off as she stepped into his personal space and poked her finger into his sterno-manubial joint. It hurt.

"Agent Booth has returned to attend a meeting at the Hoover. Dr. Sweets, do you recall our conversation following your decision not to inform me that the death of Agent Booth had been faked following his shooting by Pam Noonan?" she asked.

Sweets nodded mutely.

"Excellent" said Brennan. "Then I am sure that you have a valid reason that explains why you manipulated Booth into almost severing our partnership last night. Not that I am interested in the rambling rationales of psychology..."

Sweets merely widened his eyes and swallowed.

"When you previously manipulated me by failing to pass on the notification of Booth's death being staged, you correctly assessed that I would cope. I still stand by my assessment that your motives for doing so were unethical – your manuscript fails to provide sufficient detail in this respect."

Brennan grabbed his tie and yanked him forward as she lowered her voice, her eyes mere inches from his.

"Sweets, I warned you. Your intervention last night was poorly timed and recklessly implemented. You knew that Booth would reactively disclose his feelings to me following your appeals to his open heart. Furthermore, your book clearly articulates your assessment of my 'fragmented emotional repertoire', which you crudely apply to a number of poorly validated models to explain my heart. Despite my reservations around your methodology, even I can conclude that you could have predicted my reactive response."

Sweets thought about this for a moment and his assessment was 'mega tragic'. Brennan was angry enough to punch Sweets, but she had an experiment to set up and graciously decided to give her proxy authority to Booth and Angela. She let go of Sweets' tie and pushed him away from her in disgust.

"Stay out of my life, Sweets. You caused me to hurt my partner and that hurt me. I am sure that Booth will be taking up this issue with you when he sees you next. As far as I am concerned, if you play games with me again, I will ruin your professional standing in your field. I would appreciate it if you would leave. Now."

Angela Montenegro had regained her equilibrium, following some creative lunchtime pursuits with Hodgins on Cleopatra's bed. Despite Hodgins having three PhD's, their impromptu tryst had been a much more improvisational experience – with a re-enactment of 'page 187' and a couple of encores for good measure. This did not offend Hodgins' scientific sensibilities in any way. Where Ange was concerned; Art made Science her bitch – every time.

As Angela reached her office, she saw a slightly dazed Sweets approaching from the other direction. Angela put on her most sympathetic demeanour and caught Sweets by the arm to stop him.

"You look a little peaky Sweets. Did you skip lunch again?" Sweets shook his head slowly and Angela closed the trap, leading him into her office. "I've got some Green Tea in here, come and have a cup..."

Lance Sweets was a dead man walking.