Chapter 7

As Guinevere prepared to knock on Gaius's door she paused. Just how could she broach the subject with Gaius? She knew that he was quite rightly protective of his ward. But at the same time Guinevere realized that if, she was to be any help to anyone she needed to understand as much as she could. But she knew how stubborn Gaius could be, and it would not be easy. Somehow she had to persuade him to trust her. She took a deep breath as she knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Guinevere opened the door and as ever, the first thing that greeted her was chaos. Gaius was making up a potion, with various bottles and herbs lying on top of the work bench. She smiled, as she watched Gaius working away. It always took her breath away whenever she was in Gaius's chambers. She guessed there was a method to how he stored everything. But to her ordered and tidy mind, she found it hard to understand how he found anything. But she knew this had always been his way, even when he was younger and she doubted he would change now.

"My Lady." Gaius said, and bowed before putting down the bottle and coming towards her.

"I have told you before Gaius, call me Gwen. We are not in court now" She said, trying to ignore the sudden attack of nerves she felt.

Gaius smiled, and nodded. "Yes of course Gwen. There is nothing wrong I hope?"

"I wasn't sure if you had heard, but some of the men have begun to return from Camlann." Guinevere said, more stiffly then she had intended.

"Yes I had heard, that's good news hopefully Arthur and Merlin will be back soon." Gaius said, "Do you mind if I return to my work?"

"No of course not Gaius." Guinevere replied, watching him pouring some liquid into a bottle.

"Sit down." Gaius urged, "I have almost finished making my potions for today, I may even be able to offer you some soup."

"Oh no I have already eaten thanks." Guinevere smiled, wondering how she was going to begin the conversation with him.

Gaius looked up, and Guinevere could feel him watching her for a moment. "If you don't mind me saying you look a bit preoccupied."

Guinevere suddenly realised the best thing to do was to come straight out with it. "Yes I have something to tell you."

"Oh?"

"I spoke to a couple of Knight's earlier. There seems to have been an incident at Camlann." Guinevere began hesitantly.

"Merlin?"

Guinevere could sense the way Gaius's concerns came to the surface straight away, and knew she had to be careful how she spoke about the situation.

"Merlin is not hurt Gaius, so please don't worry. It seems though he was forced to save Arthur's life, and in doing so he revealed himself." Guinevere let the sentence hang in the air, and she watched Gaius carefully.

"Revealed?" Gaius asked, briefly looking her way and then turning away from her.

Not for the first time Guinevere revelled at how calmly he seemed to take the news. If she hadn't found out about Merlin before, she guessed Gaius would have fooled her with his reaction. But she did know the truth. She knew then that she would have to be more forceful.

"Yes he revealed himself." Guinevere repeated. "He did it right in front of everybody."

There was a pause and Guinevere, waited for a reaction. She hadn't doubted that, Gaius would remain protective of Merlin. But was he really going to force her to confront him with the truth? Was that going to be the only way, he would admit anything. She sighed already knowing the answer.

"Gaius you have to understand how things stand now. I have just heard that Merlin is being sent back to Camelot, his situation is precarious. As you can imagine Arthur did not react well to it. Now I want to help. But I can only do so when you are prepared, to be honest with me. So please talk to me." She pleaded. She watched as the old man's colour slowly began draining from his face.

"Gaius please sit down." Guinevere went over to him helping him into a chair.

"I am okay." Gaius said, his eyes shocked and worry lined on his face. After a pause he continued. "I always knew there would come a day when you and Arthur would find out. But I had hoped it would have been in a controlled environment."

Guinevere sat next to him, her hand touching his. "I am not going to pretend this will be easy. I am sure we will find a way through this. But I need you to trust me Gaius."

"Yes I know." Gaius said. "Before I say anything you need to know that all I have tried to do, is to protect everyone. Merlin most of all."

"I know Gaius, but the secret is out now. People know he is a sorcerer, and that news will spread quickly. It has already started too amongst the men here. I have tried to stop it getting any further for now. I am concerned about how some of the older Lords from Uther's day will react to this. That means we need to be able to act quickly, if we are stop things deteriorating. You know as well as I do, that they will put Arthur under pressure." Guinevere said, avoiding Gaius's eyes for a second.

"God, why did it have to come out like this?" Gaius sighed. After a pause he murmured. "What do you want to know?"

Guinevere relaxed, knowing the first hurdle had been overcome successfully. "Everything Gaius, I want to know everything."

"Everything?" Gaius repeated.

"Yes. If we are to help Merlin and Arthur then I need to know the whole story." Guinevere insisted.

Camlann

Arthur had finished packing up his things, and was looking forward to returning to Camelot and seeing Guinevere. The only way he could presently get through the "incident" as he now described it in his mind, was by thinking about getting home. The longer he stayed away, the more his mind wanted to return to that desperate night. He was almost hesitant to close his eyes at all, for all he could see were Merlin's orange eyes. All he could feel was the power that Merlin unleashed into his sister, as she had flown backwards.

He jumped as Lancelot suddenly entered the tent.

"I am sorry sire." Lancelot murmured.

"It's all right Lancelot I was in a world of my own." Arthur replied, making light of it. "What do you want?"

"I am just letting you know that everything is nearly packed and we are almost ready to leave." Lancelot answered.

"Good, let's not delay the weather will change soon. We need to make Camelot as quickly as possible." Arthur turned away, expecting Lancelot to leave. But he suddenly sensed the Knight was still with him. "Lancelot?" he grumbled.

"I was just wondering sire, about Merlin. What will you do?" Lancelot asked.

"I don't know, and I really don't want to discuss it at this moment." Arthur said, turning his back on the Knight.

"Sire, I just want to say everything he did, he did it for you." Lancelot said.

"He did it for me? " Arthur asked, curtly. "So he lied for me did he? All these years when I thought I knew him, when I thought I knew who he was."

"I know he regretted not being able to tell you the truth about his magic. He told me a number of times." Lancelot stammered.

There was a pause before Arthur turned around and looked at Lancelot directly. "You knew that he had magic? And you didn't tell me anything?"

"I had promised Merlin that I would keep his secret sire. I am sorry that I did not tell you. But I made an oath to Merlin. I could not break that. But I know how much he wanted to tell you the truth. I knew how desperate he was to reveal himself. But his first duty was to you, no one else but you. I urge you to try and understand that, in the days and months ahead"

"That's enough Lancelot." Arthur said. "We need to get out of here."

For a second the two men regarded each other, Arthur's hard eyes, against Lancelot's soft ones. Only at the very last minutes did Lancelot leave, for a moment it seemed he wanted to say something else. But after a pause he left leaving Arthur alone.

How much more Arthur thought to himself, how many other things remained hidden from him. How many more people knew? He suddenly felt incredibly angry; yet again he was the last to find out the truth. Was he such a hard man to speak too he wondered to himself. Did people find him hard to approach? He had set out to make himself easier going then his father ever was. But now he was beginning to wonder, if he had made a good job of it at all. He snatched his bag and walked away to his waiting horse.

As Arthur mounted his horse he looked at the other Knights. They all seemed to be avoiding his eyes as if a barrier was up, between them all. Arthur sunk despondently into his saddle, damn Merlin he thought to himself. Just now he wished he had never met him at all. He geed his horse forward not even looking back, to see if they were all following him. He had not seen Merlin for a couple of days now, and he briefly wondered if his former friend had made it back to Camelot. He knew it would be a long journey back for him and the Knights. After that who knew what would happen, the more Arthur thought about it the more lost he felt.

Camelot

As Guinevere listened to Gaius explaining timidly at first all about Merlin's background, she thought back to a conversation she'd had with Merlin. She remembered sauntering over to him in the stocks, and introducing herself. They had fallen into such an easy conversation, and had ended up speaking about Arthur. He had teased her mercilessly, but then she had remembered something that he had said. He had laughed and told her that he was in "disguise." Guinevere remembered how the word had intrigued her at the time. There was something about him right from the start that had set him apart from everyone else that she knew.

As Gaius explained how Merlin had come to find himself in Camelot under his care, she realized even before the physician had said it, that there was something inevitable about Merlin ending up here with Arthur. It was a thought that strangely moved her for some reason. Guinevere had always understood that certain things in life followed a set pattern. But this was more than that she realized it straight away. This was something that had been foretold, that Merlin and Arthur would meet, and together they would unite the Five Kingdoms.

"So this prophecy Gaius." Guinevere said, wanting to understand the detail. "When did you first learn about it?"Guinevere by now was getting used to Gaius's pauses whenever there was something he did not want to admit too. But she sensed something else now. It was almost as if he was trying to fight his way out of something. In the end she decided to help him. "Remember what I said Gaius, only when I know the truth can I be of any use to anyone."

"I know but there are some thing's Guinevere that are not easy to admit too, no matter how much you want too."

Guinevere thought for a second. Up until now Gaius had been pretty honest she reasoned. She'd already guessed that there would be some things which would be harder to talk about. Also she considered that maybe she didn't need to know everything all at once. She made a decision. "I suppose I don't have to know everything now. But one day it may need to be explained more."

"Yes one day I promise I will tell you, even though I fear it." Gaius said, sadly. "Some things I think are best left in the past."

"My father used to say that, when I asked him certain things too. He would say it with the same haunted expression that you have as well. But I sometimes wonder if doing that causes more problems. One thing though Gaius. You said Merlin was born with this power?" Guinevere asked, feeling anxious to understand just what that meant.

"Yes, his magic was with him from the moment he was born." Gaius announced. "He had to learn how to use it properly. We had some near disasters I can tell you."

"And he has spent all this time in Camelot of all places." Guinevere asked, awe in her voice.

"Yes indeed. Not only that. He has been forced to deny himself as well, in fact too many times to mention. He is such a selfless young man, always was from the moment I met him." Gaius admitted, sadly.

"Poor Merlin." Guinevere whispered. As she allowed Gaius's words to penetrate into her mind properly, not for the first time, an emotion overcame her. For all these years Merlin had been by Arthur's side, Guinevere instinctively knew, he had kept her husband safe on many occasions. After all there must have been a reason, as to why she had always trusted Merlin, to bring Arthur home. She knew that fighting was not one of Merlin's best talents. In fact she suspected Merlin's magic had kept them all safe over the years.

"I fear that Arthur will struggle to understand." Gaius said, fearfully.

"You must have faith in Arthur, Gaius. At the moment he will feel confused angry even, but at heart he is a good man. He will feel hurt to begin with. But you and Merlin need to find a way to trust in him, no more avoiding the truth."

"I have lived a life time hiding from the truth. When you do that it is hard to step away from the lies. I fear I have spread that to Merlin as well." He admitted.

"For the sake of their relationship together Gaius, we must make sure that does not happen." Guinevere said, with determination.

"I have to say you have been very calm about all of this. It must be a lot to take in."

"True, but from that first day I met Merlin all those years ago, I knew there was something special about him. I suppose I am just starting to find that out. Try not to worry Gaius, when Merlin arrives just make sure you are there for him. I will do my best to speak to Arthur. I am sure together we can find a way to get through this."

As Guinevere left Gaius's chambers, she suddenly felt as if she needed to go somewhere to think. There was so much to take in, but she knew she needed to be there for her husband. She just hoped she had it in her to enable Arthur and Merlin to come to terms with their new relationship.

Merlin breathed a sigh of relief as the turrets of Camelot came into view on the horizon. The journey had gone without incident, leaving Merlin much time for reflection upon recent events. Having considered what had happened, he knew little could have been done to prevent the version of events. Morgana's incisive attack on his friends had left him with no alternative other than to reveal himself. It gave him little consolation though. The relationship between him and the King was now in peril, and he knew stressing times would lie ahead, for both of them.

The question was how to proceed now? The journey back had highlighted many of the problems, which he knew he would now have to overcome. Although no one had said anything unsavoury to him, he could sense the unease with which some of the Knights now regarded him. There was almost a forced politeness surrounding him. He sensed that they were struggling to come to terms, with everything that had happened. At one stage Merlin had found the feeling so uncomfortable, that he had been forced to reassure everyone. He had explained to them, that underneath he was still the same person. But he knew in the midst, of what had occurred that it was not really the case.

In that moment everything had changed, and there was no going back. From now on his whole situation had altered irretrievably.

As he considered this in the dying light of the day, the realisation made him feel incredibly glum. How he wished he could turn back the clock, but fate had as it often did, had forced him onto a different path. But what would that mean for his destiny now? As he contemplated the future he wished he could somehow disappear into the shadows once again. But he knew that was something he could no longer do. Suddenly the world seemed a fearful place for him, and he wondered what would happen next.

As Camelot came closer, he longed for his room where he could at last shut the door, on the world at large. He needed sleep he thought to himself, but most of all he need the reassurance of Gaius. Surely his mentor would know what to do. All of a sudden Merlin felt lost, in the haze of the new world that had been born, out of the battle at Camlann. As they arrived in the grounds Merlin quickly jumped off his horse.

The new stable boy approached Merlin in a careful and slow movement, as if afraid of what he would do. Not for the first time Merlin felt fearful. There was a real negative feeling for magic in Camelot. Who knew how long it would take for people to get over their fear of it. After everything Morgana and others had done, in the name of it. Merlin suspected if he been an ordinary person than he too would be hostile.

As he threw his bag over his shoulder he didn't waste any more time. He just wanted to get away from the eyes that stared at him, and voices that mumbled about him. He ran up the steps and made for his chambers, almost falling through the door. There waiting for him was Gaius. For a moment they looked at each other. Then Merlin could feel the tears slipping down his face, and all at once he was in the warm embrace of his mentor.

"It's all right my boy, everything will be fine." Gaius whispered.

Merlin closed his eyes, just grateful to be home. Tomorrow he would worry about the future, but for now all he wanted was some sleep. Then maybe he could begin to work out how he could rebuild his relationship with his King and friend. Somehow he would convince Arthur, that they were made to be together. He had too or otherwise his destiny would prove to be nothing but a sham. After everything he had been forced to endure he could not bear for that to happen.

He would fight like never before to prove to Arthur that he would do anything, to make up for the lies he had been forced into. He knew Arthur was a good and honest man, surely he would understand and they could rebuild their shattered relationship, and start anew.

To be Continued

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