Yes, I know I should be writing the reader-insert chapter of Sweden's Caramelldansen, but this fic keeps dragging me in. Plus chapter 6 was waaaay too short and I feel like I let everyone down... Anyway, on to chapter 7... And the return of an old adversary!
WARNING: More wonderful curse words, coz Kestrel gets angry and the shit hits the fan.
All was silent in the corridor. Dexter had flopped by the window muttering in his sleep, Piggeh lay sprawled across the floor snoring, and Kestrel was curled up next to Stephano against the wall. The only person awake was PewDie. There he sat, lantern in hand, watching out for the Bro or any other creatures that might mean them harm. A slight noise off to the left made him turn slightly. Just a mouse, he thought to himself. The blonde swivelled around to scan the length of the hallway behind him. He couldn't help but grin at his friends' sleeping figures. As he turned back, he didn't see the metal teapot being swung towards his head. By the time he noticed the second presence, it was already too late. The teapot hit his head with a slight clang, knocking him straight out, and PewDie fell to the floor, only to be dragged away like a ragdoll into the darkness. The lantern lay where it had landed; broken and useless.
~~~OOO~~~
Piggeh yawned. Sunlight filtered in through the dusty windows, bathing the area in a warm glow. He ran his fingers through his hair and stretched, grunting with satisfaction as his joints popped. Looking around, he noticed that the others weren't awake. Perfect... Rising to his feet, he shuffled towards the wall where Kestrel and Stephano were sleeping. He sat down on the ginger's other side. If he was careful... He slid one grubby hand along the girl's sleeve from wrist to shoulder, then around her collar, then up her neck. He gently turned her head to face him, leaned in slowly, and ghosted his lips across hers... And then stopped as a pair of bright green eyes opened. Kestrel stared groggily at him for a second, before realising what he was doing. "OHMYGOD GET OFF!" she screamed, simultaneously flinging herself away from him and punching him in the face. Stephano and Dexter jumped awake. Dexter quickly took stock of the situation, grabbing the groaning Piggeh and dragging him backwards out of range of a very confused Stephano. "Jesus Christ, Kestrel, what happened?!" Kestrel hugged herself and glared at Piggeh. "Ask HIM! He's the one who tried to fuckin' RAPE ME!" Piggeh opened his mouth to throw back a retort, when he was interrupted by Dexter hitting him repeatedly over the back of the head with a book, punctuating each hit with a word. "I... *thwack* tried... *thwack* to... *thwack* tell... *thwack* you..." He spun Piggeh around with one hand. "LEAVE HER ALONE!" He almost knocked the reeling man out with the book, but his hand was caught by Stephano. Dexter and Kestrel looked up at him in confusion, and he cleared his throat. "Dexter, as much as I would enjoy watching Piggeh get beaten to a pulp with a book, we have more pressing matters to attend to."
"He's right." Agreed Kestrel, spotting the problem. "We have to find PewDie." Dexter frowned.
"What do you mean? He's right over... oh." The ex-chair gasped. True, when they had all gone to sleep, PewDie had been sat at the end of the corridor on look-out duty. But now he was gone, leaving only a broken lantern and a note in his place. Wait... a note? Stephano walked over to where his friend had been and picked up the note. His eyes widened in shock. "Well, what is it then, statue-dude?" groaned Piggeh, nursing a sore head. Stephano took in a breath, and read the note aloud:
"To my friends... Oh who am I kidding, you aren't my friends! In case you hadn't already noticed, your dear PewDiePie is gone. I am the one who took him. Why? He has been a thorn in my side since he came here, always succeeding in Custom Stories, always winning the games, always solving the puzzles. Of course he's not alone, but I couldn't drag ALL of you away without getting caught now could I? I'll be back for the rest of you later.
Anyway, if you ever want to see PewDiePie alive again... Oh there I go with more of the jokes! The next time any of you see him, you will all be in the same place in the same situation: about to be mauled to death by a Bro! Just thinking about it makes me so happy...
To be honest, I don't know why I left you a note in the first place. I guess I'm just flaunting my new ability to write, thanks to that potion. I can see from the humanoid shapes three of you are in, you must've found the spare bottle. Ahahaha, look at me rambling on! I do love to write, you know... I think I'll leave one of these behind EVERY TIME! :D
Yours most sincerely, B."
Stephano's voice shook as he finished reading. He looked up from the note and saw that Kestrel and Piggeh had both gone a similar shade of grey, and Dexter was swaying on his feet, as though he was about to faint. Kestrel shook her head to clear it, then spoke up. "'B'? Who's 'B'?"
"Think about it for a second, Kestrel." Spat Dexter. "Who honestly hates PewDie so much that they would use becoming human as an opportunity to take revenge?"
"Barrel." She whispered, and the others nodded. PewDie had been taken by a Barrel. A human Barrel; one consumed by insanity, and the need for revenge. All thought processes were cut off, however, by the sound of sniffing. (No, Piggeh wasn't being an arse and taking advantage of Kestrel at the wrong time.) It was Dexter making the noise. The brunette seemed to be struggling to hold back tears, (A/N: I know, more crying and emotional turmoil. If anyone's getting bored of this, just say so and I'll cut down on it. But I do love writing emotional stuff.), and it shocked both Kestrel and Stephano to see that Piggeh was the one trying to comfort him. He had slipped an arm around Dexter's shoulders in a completely non-perverted way and was rubbing his arm gently in an effort to calm him down. After several minutes of sobbing and Piggeh being NOT-CREEPY, he took a deep breath and fixed the others with a determined glare. "Right." He started. "Number one priority is finding PewDie. We already know who has him. We just have to work out where. Any ideas?" Kestrel and Stephano exchanged a glance. There it was; the calm and organised Mr. Chair that would come in very handy for this. The ginger took the note from Stephano and sniffed it, drawing a strange look from Piggeh. "Why in Brennenburg are you smelling the paper?" he asked. Kestrel just grinned.
"It smells damp." She replied. "Therefore it's probably come from somewhere low down. Also..." She blew on the parchment, sending particles swirling into the air. "... it's dusty, so we're looking for a place that's not been disturbed for a while." Stephano's eyes lit up. "The Inner Sanctum!" Dexter grinned.
"Of course! The Inner Sanctum is barely touched, plus I know there's tons of damp down there. AND it's the most secure and difficult-to-reach places in the entire castle! Well, there's no time to lose. The lantern's broken, so we'll leave it there. Everyone ready?" They all nodded, spurred on by his enthusiasm. "Alrighty then! Let's save PewDiePie!" With that, they all charged off in the direction of the staircase. They were going to get PewDie back!
~~~OOO~~~
The darkness was all around him. It was heavy; it drove every breath from his body and made it so, so hard to get anything back. He could hear the screams of the damned. They echoed in his aching skull, making tiny lights flit across his vision. Footsteps to the right caught his attention. A sudden light flickered on above him, driving more pain into his head. The light reflected off a pair of manic brown eyes. A gloved hand reached into the glare, holding a glittering knife. He couldn't move. Not an inch. Not even when the blade swept forward onto his skin. As metal bit into flesh, PewDie's pain-laden screams mingled with the psychotic laughter of his torturer.
~~~EXTRA: DEXTER'S OBSERVATION DIARY~~~
Entry 2-
PewDiePie/Felix: He's been kidnapped by the Barrel and is being subjected to God-knows-what kinds of torture.
Stephano: Has managed to stay mostly calm, but I suspect he's just hiding his feelings to keep his pride intact.
Piggeh: He tried to kiss Kestrel and is probably still feeling the pain from the book-whacking I gave him. Then he hugged me. In a totally non-pervy way, he hugged me.
Kestrel: Although she doesn't show it, she's definitely under pressure. I can see it in her eyes. However, she was very helpful in working out where to look for PewDie. She's cleverer than her age suggests.
Myself: Worrying even more now, ESPECIALLY ABOUT PEWDIE! Then there's all these weird feeling I've been getting when Piggeh's around. Oh God, I don't know how to deal with this kind of pressure!
Yep, this is what happens when you listen to MCR all morning, and then try to write fanfiction in the afternoon. I'M SORRY PEWDIE!
Anyway, I wanted to ask you all something. Y'know in this chapter when Piggeh starts comforting Dexter? Well, I'm thinking of having some Piggeh x Mr. Chair fluffy stuff developing through the story, and I want to know what you bros think of that. Too much? Or just a bit of cracky goodness? Tell me in a review or a PM!
