HOLD ME NOW

Disclaimer: The characters in CSI: New York do not belong to me. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.

Summary: The cliché was true, sometimes you didn't know what you had until it was gone. The question was: could you ever get it back again once you'd lost it? Lindsay Monroe was about to find out the answer.

Notes: Hello again one and all. A brand-new chapter for you, plus - especially for TAsolo – a Friday update :-) I normally post in the morning and it's late evening right now, but I'm hoping with the time difference between here and the US, it'll still be up in time for you to read before you leave. Also, I've only really got time to post tonight, but I promise I'll reply to my Chapter 6 reviews some time over the weekend.

Anyway, enough waffle, on with the show…

OOOOOO

Part 7 – A Place to Start

Two days later…

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Don Flack asked his friend as they stood on the sidewalk opposite the burnt-out apartment building.

Danny nodded. "Yes," he replied. "I know the clean-up crew will do the best job they can, but I know exactly what Lindsay will want to try and salvage whereas they might not. Plus, there are precious memories of my little girl's first four years in there too."

"Exactly," Flack said. "It'll be tough to see all that burnt to cinders."

"Pretty much symbolises the state of my marriage though, doesn't it?" Danny remarked wearily.

"Depends on which way you look at it, I suppose. I thought you and Linds had managed to reach some sort of understanding with each other."

"To what?" Danny asked a little tetchily. "To not rile each other up anymore than we have to?"

"I would say there's a bit more to it than that," Flack reprimanded quietly, knowing that the uncharacteristic sourness wasn't really meant. "I know things are moving a bit more slowly than you would like, but Lindsay's not in the greatest shape emotionally right now and you have to make some allowances for what she's going through."

"I know, I know, and I do. It's just frustrating, that's all." Danny sighed. "Look, let's get this over with, shall we?" he said, stepping off the kerb and striding purposefully across the street towards his one-time home.

"So have Linds and Luce settled into Stella's all right?" Flack enquired after they'd pulled on their protective overalls and gloves in the Lobby and started up the back stairwell at a slow, steady trudge.

Danny smiled a little. "Yeah, although I don't think Stella quite knows what's hit her. Babysitting Lucy for a few hours is a hell of a lot different to having her live with you twenty-four/seven. She's like a little destructor-bomb when she gets into her stride."

Flack laughed. "Go on… you know she loves it, and it must be a load off your mind to know that she's keeping an eye out for Lindsay too."

"Mmm," Danny responded absently as they came out of the stairwell and headed down the corridor towards Lindsay's apartment. The walls were scorched black and the place smelled unpleasantly like burnt rubber. A sudden vision came to him of the frightened faces of his trapped wife and daughter as they were beaten back by roaring flames and choked by thick, black smoke.

Closing his eyes, he shuddered in reaction to the image. "Shit! They could have died in here, Flack!"

Don curled a hand over his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Except they didn't," he soothed. "Lindsay heard the smoke alarms before the blaze got too out of control. They made it to the fire escape with time to spare. Just be grateful for that and try not to dwell on the alternative, okay?"

Danny nodded. "They figure out what started it?" he asked after a beat.

"Bad wiring apparently," Flack told him, "Helped along with a little added gasoline."

"Arson?" Danny looked at his friend, shocked. "You serious? Someone torched the place?"

"Not exactly," Flack replied. "It was more of an unfortunate chain reaction. Numbnut in 2B was stock-piling the stuff – don't ask me why – I've given up trying to fathom out crazies like that. Unfortunately, his place is directly above where the fire started in 1B. The two together apparently acted like some sort of incendiary bomb, but you science guys know more about that than us mere mortals so I'll leave you to fill in the appropriate blanks."

When they reached the apartment, the two of them stood, side by side, silently contemplating the closed door for a moment. "You bring any keys?" Flack eventually asked.

Danny shook his head. "No."

"Damn and I'm supposed to be off-duty here!" Flack exclaimed. "Every time I do this, I swear I need acupuncture on my back for like a week."

Stepping back, he took a moment to judge the correct angle and then expertly kicked the door in with a single blow of his foot. "Of course a little charred wood helps things along a little," he remarked as he admired his handiwork.

"Hey! Wait up, guys!" A familiar voice called out as they moved forward to step over the threshold.

They turned to see Sheldon Hawkes striding down the corridor, still pulling on his blue NYPD overalls. "I figured you could use some help," he said as he joined them.

Danny clapped a grateful hand between his colleague's shoulder-blades, and then sucked in a deep breath and entered the burnt-out apartment. It wasn't quite as bad as he had imagined, but it was bad enough. Apart from the immediate area around the door, the damage was mostly smoke-related – but whatever had been used to douse the flames and prevent a hidden smoulder from re-igniting had ruined the majority of the furnishings. The place looked as if it hadn't been inhabited in years. The happy, vibrant family home it had once been was gone for good.

Moving a little further into the room, Danny bent to retrieve something from the floor near the door. In its partially melted state, he couldn't tell what it was, but from the bright colour of the twisted plastic, it was obvious it had been one of Lucy's toys. He stood holding it in his hands as he tried to come to terms with the senseless destruction around him. Maybe he hadn't lived there in over a year, but the place still held many happy memories for him and to see it like this was simply heart-breaking.

"Looks like the clean-up crew left those for us," Hawkes said, nodding at the stack of packing crates in one corner. "How about Flack and I start in here and the kitchen, while you take the main bedroom?"

"And Lucy's room?" Danny asked, a slight tremor in his voice giving away his innermost emotions.

Hawkes reached out and squeezed his shoulder in quiet empathy. "We'll do that together afterwards," he said. "That's gonna be the hardest right?"

Danny nodded. "Umm… make sure that you keep any photos, plus any drawings that Lucy's done," he instructed, focusing his mind on the task at hand rather than dwelling on the emotional consequences of it. "Lindsay'll want to keep anything Lucy's made too, however lame it might look. And she has some books that are important to her as well – her parents buy her one every year for her birthday – you'll see the inscriptions inside and…"

He stopped, considered. "Look, maybe I should sort through the stuff in here and one of you take the bedroom."

Flack and Hawkes exchanged an uncomfortable look, and Danny frowned. "What?" he demanded.

"We'll make sure we pack anything that's even remotely salvageable," Hawkes assured him. "You and Lindsay can sort through it later."

"And no offence, buddy," Flack cut in, "But I don't think Lindsay'd appreciate either of us going through her underwear drawer. That bedroom's kind of her private space and you're the only one of us who has been granted any sort of access."

Understanding his friends' desire to respect their colleague's privacy, Danny sighed and grabbed a couple of crates from the stack in the corner before walking the few metres down the hallway to Lindsay's bedroom. Pushing open the door, he was struck with a sudden and unexpected flash of memory…

Four and a half years earlier…

"Wait!" he urged, catching Lindsay's hand to prevent her from entering the room.

"What?" she asked, turning towards him, her expression a little irritated. "I've got to pack, Danny."

"You can do that later," he told her calmly.

"My flight's mid-morning tomorrow, remember?"

"So we'll set the alarm," he said, stepping in as close to her body as he was physically able. Framing her face between his hands, he bent to kiss her upturned lips.

"It's our wedding day, Mrs Messer," he reminded her when he eventually broke off the slow, purposeful embrace.

He watched a beautiful smile blossom across her pretty features at his deliberate use of her newly acquired surname. They'd just arrived home from the impromptu wedding reception that Mac and Stella had thrown for them at one of their favourite restaurants. Danny was pretty sure that the subsequent celebration would continue into the small hours of the morning, but he and his new wife had left early, slipping out unnoticed shortly after the coffee had been served. Their trip home had passed in almost virtual silence. Forgoing conversation, they'd been content to sit hand-in-hand in the subway car and contemplate the life-changing events of the day.

Once they'd arrived home at the apartment that they'd moved into only a few weeks before however, Lindsay's attention had immediately re-focused on her imminent trip to Montana. In contrast, Danny was determined to make the most of every last minute that they had together before he had to bid her a reluctant farewell at the airport the following morning.

"I've got to carry you over the threshold," he declared with stubborn determination, "It's tradition."

Lindsay laughed. "I'm seven months pregnant, Danny."

"Don't worry, I've got great upper body strength," he told her as he curled one arm around her back, and then bent to hook the other under her knees so that he could scoop her off her feet.

"Mmm, I've noticed," she murmured, reaching out to playfully squeeze one of his biceps as he hefted her into his arms with only a slight grunt of effort.

Awkwardly shaped rather than particularly heavy, he carried her easily into the room and deposited her gently on the bed. Her packing forgotten, she lay back against the covers and looked up at him with wide, slumberous eyes. "Come here," she whispered huskily, crooking her finger at him.

Accepting the invitation, he joined her on the bed where they proceeded to tenderly consummate their union, the only words passing between them, Danny's quietly murmured 'Are you sure?', Lindsay's whispered acquiescence and a couple of gasped 'I love you's' some time later. Despite the physical awkwardness her pregnancy caused, it had been beautiful and right and, in truth, neither of them would have wanted it any other way. They'd fallen asleep sometime later, wrapped in each other's arms and emotionally replete from the whirlwind of the day.

Danny blinked as his memory clicked and shifted from recollections of his wedding night to his and Lindsay's first full day as husband and wife. He'd woken to the sensation of warm, gentle fingers delicately tracing the stubbled outline of his chin…

"Hey!" he murmured; his voice scratchy with sleep.

"Hey!" Lindsay whispered back, her tone sounding a little shy and awkward.

Sensing her slight discomfiture, he shifted closer and covered her mouth with his, the kiss soft and effortlessly gentle. Letting out a contented hum of pleasure, Lindsay curled her hand around the nape of his neck and purposefully deepened the embrace. They lay there exchanging slow, tender kisses for what seemed like hours before they eventually drew apart.

"You okay?" Danny asked quietly; rubbing the back of his thumb up and down her bare arm in a light, soothing gesture.

Lindsay nodded. "Yeah, I just… yesterday still seems kind of unreal, you know?"

He entwined his fingers with hers. "Yeah, I know." He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back of her fingers. "I'm sorry."

Lindsay's forehead furrowed in confusion at the apology. "For what?"

Danny shrugged. "I don't suppose yesterday was many brides' idea of the perfect wedding day."

"No," Lindsay agreed before her lips quirked up into a teasing smile. "But then I don't suppose last night was many bridegrooms' idea of the perfect wedding night either."

His face split into a wide appreciative grin at her quip. "No," he concurred with a chuckle. "I was expecting significantly more chandelier-swinging to tell you truth."

Lindsay giggled and slapped him lightly on the chest in protest. "You're lucky you got any action at all under the circumstances," she said, rubbing her distended belly for emphasis

Danny laughed and leaned forward to press a warm kiss to her forehead. "I love you, Mrs Messer."

"Mmm, I love you too, Mr Messer," she responded, as he closed his palm over her bump and rubbed in small, affectionate circles.

"Be good, kiddo," he said then, bending low and pressing a kiss to her rounded belly through the thin material of her night-dress "No coming out until Mommy gets back home or you're grounded for life."

Lindsay laughed and Danny's heart jumped inside his chest when the baby responded with a well-aimed kick… or a punch, he wasn't quite sure. Nor did care, just the feel of his child's movements inside of the woman he loved was more than enough to brighten his day…

Shaking his head to free himself from the intruding memories, Danny cleared his throat against the sudden lump that had arisen and pulled his attention back to the task at hand. Now was not the time to be reminiscing, he had things to do and places to be. Moving determinedly forward, he pulled open the closet doors and set to work.

OOOOOO

Stella's apartment…

Lindsay stood contemplating the bottle of pills on the bathroom shelf in front of her. She hated the idea of resorting to medication, but she knew that she needed something to take the edge off her out-of-control emotions and help her think more clearly. And it wasn't as if the doctor had prescribed a particularly strong dosage – the anti-depressants were actually pretty mild compared to the tablets she'd been on to combat her post-traumatic stress disorder after the mass murder of her friends.

Grabbing the bottle, she twisted off the child-proof cap, shook out one of the pills and then set it to one side while she poured herself a glass of water. She paused for a moment before finally placing it on her tongue and swallowing it down with several gulps of cool liquid. There – done. Returning the bottle of pills to the shelf, she shut and secured the child-lock on the medicine cabinet before turning for the door.

Stella and Lucy's voices drifted towards her as she headed for the apartment's main living space. Her colleague appeared to be reading her daughter a story, and Lucy, as usual, was questioning every last detail.

"But why did the wicked witch turn him into a frog?"

"Because she didn't want the Princess to marry the Prince." Stella's voice only held a slight note of impatience as she answered the little girl's question.

"Why?"

"Because then the Princess's stepmother would have to stop being Queen and she didn't want to."

"So she asked the wicked witch to turn the Prince into a frog?"

"Exactly."

"How?"

Stella looked up at Lindsay in desperation. "Is she always like this?"

Lindsay giggled. "Yes, pretty much. Oh – and 'it's magic' doesn't cut it as an answer either," she warned her friend.

Stella groaned. "So what does?"

"Lucy?" Lindsay leaned over the back of the sofa to address her daughter.

"Yes Mommy?"

"Remember what we said about magic spells in stories?"

Lucy nodded. "They're 'periments like you and Daddy do in the Lab, but they're special ones and they make special things happen."

"Yeah, that's right."

"So that's how the wicked witch turned the prince into a frog? With a 'periment?"

"Yep."

"Okay," Lucy nodded in satisfaction. She turned and looked at Stella. "My Daddy turned a frog into a prince once," she told her confidently.

"He did?" Stella looked distinctly dubious at this.

Lucy nodded vigorously, her pigtails bobbing. "With a 'periment," she declared.

Stella looked towards her colleague for assistance. Lindsay shook her head. "Don't ask, I have no idea."

"But I'm intrigued…"

"So ask Danny, super Dad extraordinaire," Lindsay said and then turned her attention to her daughter. "You hungry, sweetie? It's nearly time for lunch."

"Can I have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?" Lucy asked, clambering down from the couch and following her Mom through into the kitchen.

"How about peanut butter and banana?" Lindsay suggested, trying to aim for something a little healthier.

Fortunately, Lucy was in an amiable mood that day. "Okay," she agreed. "Is Daddy at work?" she asked after a beat.

Lindsay nodded. "Yes honey, but I'm sure he'll call you before bedtime. He always does, doesn't he?" She could trust Danny not to forget. Even when he was snowed under at the Lab, he always found time to call his daughter.

"Does he know we're living at Auntie Stella's now?" Lucy enquired, a little frown appearing between her eyebrows. "He will know where to pick me up from, won't he, Mommy?" she asked worriedly.

"Of course he will," Lindsay assured her daughter.

"I think he might be coming round to visit later actually," Stella said from the doorway.

"He is?" Lindsay asked in surprise.

"Didn't he tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"The clean-up crew's going to your apartment today. He and Flack were going along to supervise and make sure they don't miss anything. He said he'd bring over what they manage to salvage this evening some time."

"But I thought he was on shift today," Lindsay said.

"Mac let him take a few hours off." Stella told her. "If things are quiet enough at the Lab, he said he'd release Hawkes to help out too."

"Oh!" Lindsay's eyes filled with moisture at her friends' thoughtfulness towards her.

She hadn't really felt up to going to the apartment herself. As a civilian she wouldn't have been allowed to anyway, but her position as a trained CSI would have gained her access if she wished it. With Danny there, there was no chance of anything getting missed however, so there was no need to put herself through the unpleasant ordeal now. She knew he'd know exactly what was most important to her personally, and she also knew that Hawkes would see to the more practical matters of crockery, kitchen equipment and various other household items too. A single tear of gratitude slid like a rain-drop down her cheek.

"Don't cry, Mommy!"

She started a little as Lucy wrapped her arms around her upper thighs and buried her face against her stomach, hugging her tightly. Lindsay felt the guilt wash through her immediately. However hard she tried to keep her daughter shielded from her emotional troubles, Lucy was not stupid. She was almost precociously bright, as well as extremely affectionate in nature. Lindsay wasn't quite sure how she and Danny – the Queen and King of Reticence – had managed to produce such an open and loving child to be honest. She imagined they could both learn a lot from their little girl about expressing emotions. She wore her heart on her sleeve and wasn't afraid to show when she was happy or sad.

Gently freeing herself from Lucy's grasp, she knelt down so that she was eye-level with her little girl. "It's okay, sweetie," she said, stroking her hand over her daughter's shock of honey-blonde hair.

"I don't like it when you cry."

"I know you don't, baby. But Mommy's not sad, she's just a little overwhelmed because everyone is being so kind to us at the moment."

"Because of the fire?"

"Yes, because of the fire. It was a very bad thing to happen and we're really lucky that we have so many good friends who are willing to help us out. We have to figure out a way to say a big special thank-you to them all."

"We could make cupcakes," Lucy suggested.

Lindsay smiled. "You know what? I think that's a great idea. How about we make some this afternoon, huh? Then you can come into the Lab with Mommy tomorrow and give them out to everybody."

Lucy nodded in enthusiasm. "But Daddy can have one tonight when he comes," she decided.

Lindsay laughed. "Only one?"

"Yes 'cus if we let him have more, he'll eat them all and they'll be none left!" Lucy declared dramatically.

"She knows him too well," Stella remarked with a laugh.

Lindsay nodded and planted a kiss on her daughter's lips. "Ok, sweetie. Go and wash your hands so we can have lunch, and then we'll go shopping for the cupcake ingredients."

"Did you want anything?" she enquired of Stella as Lucy obediently scampered off in the direction of the bathroom.

"What? Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?" Stella asked with some amusement.

"Sorry – we're kind of taking over, aren't we?" Lindsay said with a grimace. "We'll be out of here as soon as the insurance money comes through, I promise you."

"Lindsay," Stella admonished. "There's no rush for you to move out. I like having you here."

"You won't when you've just worked a double-shift and Lucy is insistent on playing dress-up, believe me," Lindsay told her acidly.

Stella laughed. "She's so adorable; I think I'd forgive her even that," she said. "Seriously though, you can stay as long as you need to, and I don't just mean for financial reasons, okay?"

Lindsay shot her a somewhat teary smile. "I think you just earned yourself at least two cupcakes," she said with a slight tremor in her voice.

"Well, as long as they're chocolate ones," Stella replied, coming around to Lindsay's side of the counter and giving her a quick hug.

"And I mean it," she said firmly when she drew back. "You and Lucy can stay for as long as you like. If at any time you're outstaying your welcome then I'll let you know, okay?"

Lindsay nodded. "Okay."

"Good," Stella said with nod, and then turned towards the refrigerator. "Now I may give the PB&J a miss," she said as she pulled open the door. "But a nice Chicken Caesar salad sounds wonderfully tempting right about now."

"Ahh," Lindsay remarked lightly. "Adult food. I think I've almost forgotten what that is. Since Danny moved out, it's just been easier to eat whatever I'm making for Lucy."

"Well, I think it's about time we changed that," Stella decided. "I've got more than enough for two. Sound good?"

Lindsay nodded with a hint of a smile. "Sounds good," she concurred.

OOOOOO

The bedroom was nearly clear. There was only the bottom two drawers of the dresser left to sort through. In spite of the open window bringing in occasional wafts of fresh air from outside, the pervading scent of damp and smoke was making Danny feel sick to the stomach. The sooner he got out of here the better, he decided.

Kneeling down on the floor in front of the dresser, he lifted the last two drawers completely out of their slots and carried them across to the bed to sort through. One was filled to the brim with newborn baby clothes, which gave Danny yet another painful jolt of remembrance as he recalled Lindsay folding and packing them all in there when Lucy had been somewhere around the six month mark.

"They're still in good condition," she'd said when he'd questioned why she was keeping them. "They can be re-used for our next baby when he or she arrives."

He'd grinned. "What happened to 'she's going to be an only child because I'm never doing that again'?" he'd said, quoting her comment to Mac in the hospital just a few hours after Lucy's birth.

"I may have changed my mind," she'd replied, throwing an enigmatic smile over her shoulder at him. "It's a woman's prerogative after all."

"Well, we do make cute kids so it would seem a shame to deprive the world of another," he'd said. "Maybe we should give them a little more time to get used to Mini-Messer Number One first though."

Lindsay had nodded in agreement. "A couple of years should do it, I think," she'd decided.

Of course, a couple of years later, their marriage hadn't been in any kind of state to be thinking of bringing another child into it…

Danny sighed and began carefully packing the clothes into an empty crate. He had no idea whether Lindsay still wanted to keep them, but she'd not cleared out the drawer thus far so it would appear that she was still holding out hope of becoming a mother again at some point in the future. Whether he would be the father of that child remained to be seen however.

Dumping the empty drawer on the floor, he pulled the other towards him and began to sort through its contents. It was mostly filled with nightwear - ranging in style from comfortable PJ's to flimsy negligees. Right at the back however, was a neat row of leather and velvet-covered boxes. Picking up a square one in the middle of the row, he flipped open the lid and looked at the delicate silver-link bracelet that lay inside. He'd bought it for Lindsay the Christmas after Lucy had turned one.

Taking out and opening some of the other boxes, he realised that they contained a variety of different jewellery from the expensively elegant to the more reasonably priced unusual – all of them presents from himself at varying points in their relationship. Lindsay had kept them all – every last one, right down to the somewhat tacky mood ring that he'd bought for her from a Flea Market in Brooklyn only a few weeks after they'd become lovers.

"It's so I know whether I'm going to get lucky or not," he'd told her jokingly as he'd slid it onto her finger.

She'd swatted him in protest, but then had belied the gesture by sliding her arms around his neck and fixing her lips to his in a long, slow smooch that pushed the borders of what was acceptable on a public street.

"You don't need a mood ring to tell you that," she'd told him when she'd eventually released him from her silken grasp. Her voice was as smooth as molasses and it had stirred his lust almost as much as the kiss had.

"Apparently not," he'd said a little hoarsely. "So - your place or mine?"

She'd giggled rather wickedly. "Yours is closer."

"Mine it is then…"

Danny shook his head with a wry chuckle. They'd barely made it past the threshold before the passion had taken over. They had ended up making fast, frantic love against the front door in a frenzy of fervent need. They'd been beside themselves in their want for one another back then. They'd waited so long to consummate the desire that had been brewing between them for nearly two years that every time felt like the first time for them. This had continued for perhaps the first eight months or so of their relationship until Ruben Sandoval's death had put an end to that carefree existence and had thrown their entire world into a chaotic mess of confusion and pain.

With a resigned sigh, Danny reached for one of the smaller pack-boxes meant for valuables and transferred all the jewellery boxes from the bottom of the drawer into it until there were only two left: a small, distinctive blue box, which was as familiar to him as his own face, and an oblong leather case that he didn't immediately recognise. He reached for the smaller of the two first and couldn't resist the urge to open it and look inside. As expected, nestled within was Lindsay's wedding band, alongside the engagement ring that he'd bought her as an anniversary present, a year into their short-lived marriage.

He couldn't recall exactly when the idea had first occurred to him, all he knew was that several months before their first wedding anniversary he'd hit upon the inspiration of buying her a ring. They'd done everything else backwards so why not this? Pregnancy, then marriage, followed by a belated engagement was a completely topsy-turvy way to go about it, but it was certainly very them. Once he'd set his heart upon it of course, he knew that not just any ring would do – he had to go for the ultimate, and that meant a little forward planning.

For several months, he'd scrimped and saved to achieve his goal, and had then pondered long and hard over his choice before finally taking Stella along for a second opinion. He didn't want to get it wrong so a woman's judgement on his selection was paramount before he passed over his credit card and parted with his hard-earned money. Much to his relief, his choice had passed muster with his friend and colleague. He couldn't have gone through the agony of choosing again. It had been a stressful enough endeavour the first time around.

"Well, I would have gone for that one," Stella had told him, pointing out a ring at the back of the display that was a little more ostentatious than the one he'd chosen for his wife, not to mention considerably above his price-range. "But," she added with a smile. "You're not married to me and the one you've chosen is so totally Lindsay… small and beautifully set. You did good, kid," she said, kissing him lightly on the cheek. "She's going to love it."

On the morning of their wedding anniversary he had been over-the-top nervous – even more so than he had been on the previous two occasions he'd proposed to her. He had no idea why – I mean it wasn't as if she was going to refuse, was it? He'd been planning on waiting until later on in the day to give her his gift, but his nerves hadn't been able to take it. Thankfully, Lindsay had been just as eager as he to exchange anniversary presents…

"Me first," she said, placing a small pile of beautifully wrapped packages on the bed in front of him.

They were Lucy-less for once, thanks to Stella who had forcibly commandeered the ten-month old for two nights and the intervening day. Danny knew that his wife was a little wary of being parted from their baby for so long, but he also knew that she was looking forward to some time alone with him as well.

Smiling at the anticipatory gleam in her big brown eyes, he opened his gifts to find a glossy coffee-table book on Harley Davidson's, a vintage baseball card that he knew she must have searched high and low for, plus two pairs of tickets – one set - prime seats at the Giants next game, and the other to a show on Broadway – a kind of his, followed by her night out on the town.

"Thanks babe," he said, leaning forward and kissing her soundly. Drawing back, he studied the baseball card again. "I can't believe you found this."

She beamed, glad that her gifts had been a success. "So hand it over," she said cheekily, holding out her hands like Oliver Twist asking for more food.

He laughed and reached into the top drawer of the nightstand to withdraw the box within a box. "I've kind of veered away from the 'paper' theme," he warned before he passed it to her.

"You got the reference then," she said delightedly.

"A book, baseball card, tickets – all varying forms of paper – it was kind of hard to miss."

"Yes, but men don't usually know these things."

"You mean that paper is traditional name for the first wedding anniversary? I'm a new man, babe."

"Yeah right," Lindsay scoffed, "Only when it suits in my experience. The rest of the time there are definite caveman tendencies on show, Mr Messer."

"Did you want this present or not?" he enquired jokingly, pretending affront at the mock insult.

She laughed. "Gimme," she said. "And it's okay about the paper thing, I know you're not Mr Traditional."

Danny smiled at that. "Well, this is definitely in keeping with that theme," he said before he finally handed his gift over.

"Danny!" Lindsay gasped when she opened the outer box to discover the telltale blue box hidden within.

"Open it," he urged.

She did so and her eyes immediately filled to the brim with unabashed emotion. "Oh!" she said shakily. "Oh! It's beautiful!"

"Well, I figured we did everything else backwards so why not this?" he said as he removed the ring from the box and slid the square-cut Tiffany diamond solitaire onto her finger.

"I know but… Tiffany's Danny?"

"Only the best for my girl and this is New York." He grinned. "I guess I'm just lucky I chose a wife with dainty fingers who could never have carried off a big ring, huh?"

Lindsay laughed helplessly at that before throwing her arms around his neck and peppering his face with kisses. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he returned, "But I'm thinking you still owe me another present."

"I do?" Lindsay enquired with faux innocence as he deliberately pushed her back against the pillows, his intent obvious. "But I didn't buy you anything else."

"Doesn't matter," he said as he pushed her nightdress up past her hips to expose her smooth belly. He bent to press a delicate kiss to the soft skin there, making her stomach muscles twitch in reaction. "I'll just un-wrap you…"

Danny shut the ring box with a snap to stop the flood of memories. He didn't know why he was agonising over every little thing that he packed into the boxes. Where exactly was it getting him? All it did was remind him just how badly things had gone wrong between them.

He grabbed the last box, determined to just pack it and be done with it, but the weight of it had him pausing in curiosity. It was too heavy for the necklace it looked like it contained, and it didn't look at all familiar to him either. Unable to resist the temptation to look, he flipped it open and felt his heart jump inside his chest.

It didn't contain jewellery; it contained a watch – a man's watch. Inexplicable jealousy surged in his veins. Who the hell was she buying a watch for? It didn't look like anything she'd buy for her father – it wasn't remotely the older man's style – and it was a little over the top of a present for either of her two brothers. It was the kind of watch a woman bought for her lover.

Sliding his fingers beneath the cool metal band, he removed the watch from its box. From the weight of it, it was clearly an original and not some cheap knock-off. Turning it over, he bent his head to inspect the hallmark and that's when he saw the engraving on the back: 'For Danny, Happy 36th, 1 4 3 4evr, Lindsay x'

It took him a moment to work out the significance of the '1 4 3', but his scientist's brain provided him with the answer quicker than most: 1.4.3. – I love you – the numbers the number of letters in each word. 1 4 3 4evr – I love you forever.

Turning around, he slid to the floor, his back against the side of the bed and his legs bent at the knees. His 36th birthday – the one he'd spent – after a brief visit from Mac with Lucy earlier on in the day – alone and getting slowly and steadily drunk in Flack's spare room. It had finally dawned on him that his separation from Lindsay was not a temporary one as he'd first believed. He would not be returning home to the bosom of his family anytime soon. All he could see in the future was a lifetime of part-time fatherhood and acute loneliness without the woman he loved beside him.

Something inside of him that he hadn't known was there cracked in two and he buried his face against his knees in a gesture of abject despair. Stupid, stupid, stupid, he lamented. How could he have been so god damn stupid? He understood what this present had meant – he and Lindsay had never been the kind of couple who bought each other ridiculously excessive gifts. It was the thought that counted, and he knew that she had loved that silly mood ring he'd bought her just as much as any of the more luxurious presents he'd bestowed upon her since then.

He'd gone out on a limb with the Tiffany engagement ring and she, in turn, had apparently done the same with this. The watch was classy, well-made and clearly constructed to last a lifetime. And that, he assumed, was precisely the point. His birthday had only been a couple of months after that fateful night at Sullivan's, and he knew without knowing how he knew that she'd bought this gift shortly before then. It had been her commitment to working through their troubles – just the two of them, side by side, for a lifetime. 1 4 3 4evr – I love you forever.

Why had he not removed himself from a situation that he knew would most likely get him into hot water? He'd been uncomfortable with it from the start, especially when the second of the women had fixated on him rather than Don. Not that Flack was exactly single at the time either, but at least he wasn't married with a child. He and whatever her name was had only been dating a few weeks.

In his defence, he'd been pretty clear about his lack of interest and marital status, but he should have known that after a few drinks that was hardly going to be seen as an obstacle by a woman who only really cared about the thrill of the chase, and would be gone in a flash once the exhilarating moment of capture had passed.

Not that he was ever going to let himself be caught, of course, but that wasn't really the point. Lindsay should have trusted him, but equally, he should have been more careful about the image he was projecting. He hadn't wanted to rock the boat that was the thing. Marty had been enjoying the attention and Flack had been encouraging his friend like men with no real ties had a tendency to do. He should have left them to it and gone back and joined the others at the bar. Except he hadn't, and that decision had turned the tide of his whole life in ways he could never have imagined.

Raising his head, he brushed away the tears he hadn't realised he'd shed and then rose stiffly to his feet. Putting the watch back in its case, he placed it alongside the other boxes and then closed the lid on the pack-box. He wasn't sure whether he should mention his discovery to Lindsay. It could open a can of worms that neither of them were prepared to deal with right now.

On the other hand though, it would undoubtedly be a place to start. He just had to decide for certain whether that was a road that he wanted to travel again…

To be continued…

A/N2: Just as a bit of useless trivia – the first two flashbacks Danny experiences in this chapter are actually slightly re-worked scenes from a story I started to write over a year ago about Lindsay's trip home to Montana and how she and Danny coped with being separated from each other during the latter stages of her pregnancy. Although I liked some of the stuff I wrote, it never really quite came together as a complete story so I eventually abandoned it. It's nice to use some of the best bits here though – means the hard work hasn't gone completely to waste. I've figured out a way to weave in some of Lindsay's POV later on in the story too, so watch out for that.

Oh and I know there's a children's story called the Princess and the Frog, but I just made it up here – any similarities/differences to the real thing are purely coincidental therefore. Most fairy-tales follow a similar theme, I've noticed, so I imagine it may be quite close to the original.