Chapter Seven: Tensions, Part Two

She was mad, and Lynn couldn't blame her…Hell, if she had been in her shoes, she would have been furious…she would have been seeing red and aching for the feel of blood on her hands and the perfume of iron in the air.

"You…knew…?" Sakura asked haltingly, rage making her hesitant.

She nodded her head.

"And…you watched…and did nothing?"

Lynn thought of a hundred things to say in the span of that instant that passed between them. She could have told her about the threats Orochimaru had made against her, or the helpless of watching and knowing she was being watched, or how she was suddenly caught in a sickening flashback of Itachi as she watched his brother, or…

"Lynn," Her sister's voice was dangerous, "Answer me."

The red-head nodded.

She waited for the inevitable pulse of chakra and the fist she knew she deserved and the pain she almost wanted to feel. She wanted to be punished for what she had done, because of how fucked up it all was. But Sakura just sat there, her eyes fixed with a mean glare on the hands she had curled in her lap.

"I don't…understand…" She said finally.

To be honest, Lynn didn't, either. Looking in the mirror of her mind, she couldn't even begin to fathom why she had allowed her sister to suffer so much. Granted, she hadn't know how reaching the implications of her inaction would be, but that was hardly an explanation and nothing close to a good excuse.

"I don't know why I didn't stop him, Saki…" She sighed, "I ask myself every day…"

Sakura swallowed hard, fisted her hands a bit tighter. Lynn knew that from the first day her sister realized she was alive that there would be questions after the ecstatic joy had passed. Questions she didn't have answers to.

"I just…I don't know," She repeated.

She met her sister's gaze and saw all the things she knew she would: anger, sorrow, mourning, the painful 'what-ifs' she knew she was asking herself, and something that bordered dangerously close on hate. Lynn, for the first time in her life, didn't know what she was feeling…

She couldn't justify, even to herself, why she had left Sakura to suffer under the weight of a decision that wasn't even her own. And Lynn couldn't very well even tell herself that she did it to protect her younger sister. Because she knew she hadn't…even if that was what she told Sakura…

She had done it because she was afraid…afraid of Orochimaru's wrath. She knew that if he was merciful, he would simply kill her…but it wasn't death she was afraid of…

It was pain.

"I was…scared, Sakura." She finally admitted, "And I know that doesn't change what I did…"

"It sure as hell doesn't!" Her younger sister suddenly exploded.

Her chakra flared, and she wrenched her hands into fists and glared at Lynn with all the venom she could muster.

"I…" She started to say something and quickly cut herself off with an abbreviated shake of her head. "I'm leaving."

She left the room, her angry footsteps echoing off of the thin walls and down the stairs.

It took all of Lynn's willpower to stay where she was. She knew Sakura wanted to be left alone, and that chasing her would only push her away. So she did just that…stayed where she was, gripping the edge of her seat so tightly the wood threatened to splinter.

She took a deep breath, pushed her tears away…she had no right to cry when she had brought the pain and the suffering on herself. What she wouldn't give, she told herself, to take all of her sister's pain away…to do it all over again…

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Sakura hated herself; truly hated everything she was and had been and was going to be. Really…did all of her hard work even matter? Fate was going to play her fucked up games no matter what. If Sakura turned right…well, eventually Fate or Destiny would spin her back to the left, and jerk her around, and squeeze her heart until she wanted nothing more than to die…All over again…again and again and again into infinity.

She even wanted to hate Lynn…but…she just couldn't…

Really, she thought to herself, it wouldn't have changed anything. Orochimaru would have had Sasuke eventually, because eventually he would have gone to him anyway…

There was no denying how messed up the situation was, or how angry she was or anything of the feelings that were racing through her. She did have the sudden thought, though, that there was one thing that Fate couldn't control…and that was whether or not she forgave her sister…

Her poor, fucked up, scarred, scared, small, hurting sister…who had given up everything for her from day one and still hadn't learned that it was okay to take care of herself…

Such was the way of the shinobi…the way of blood and loss and stupid self-sacrifice…

She couldn't blame Lynn anymore than the world that had made her into what she was…so much of what had happened to Lynn, and to herself, was so far outside of their control and so far gone from anything near normal, even by the odd and dangerous standards of the shinobi world.

She stopped finally, her hand on the doorknob of her home…she could feel her lover inside, going about his business, feel his expectation of her arrival…

And she just couldn't go through the door…

She turned on her heel, breaking into a run as she frantically dialed a number she knew by heart. The phone hadn't even rung twice before she heard Lynn's voice on the other line and before she could say anything, Sakura screamed high into the rainy sky and at whatever power, be it Fate or Kami or a pantheon of gods, "I forgive you, Lynn!"