Gomen ne guys I know it's been a while sorry about that but most of you know why it has ^_^ this is dedicated to all my wonderful friends at bishonen trainer who kept me writing when I was gonna quit, shinigami lives because of you I love you guys * hugs* elspeth


Walk the shadows,
Fear the light,
And find your solace within the night,
Hide the wounds,
Tears on your face
Crawl unto a midnight place,
And spread the wings that match your soul,
Within the darkness you can be whole,
Violet fire,
Death not apart,
What shatters now the reapers heart? – " Mens mort"

Tartarus,….the inferno…. hell….call it what you will it is where the souls of night go to atone for their sins. The place of divine or as it seemed now demonic retribution where there is no escape, no forgiveness, no hope, eternal torment with no way out.
It's grisly presence spread out in front of duo in all directions, luring him forward into its warped embrace like a fly seduced into a web
" You're not strong enough shinigami…Tartarus will be your end, you are a scared little boy, this place feels it..feeds of it..it will enjoy devouring your sanity" whispered a voice in his ear, rich and seductive
" Go back boy you don't belong here anymore……..you will fail" hissed his father . Duo bowed his head controlling the fear of failure already gnawing at his belly eating it's way out to the surface, he couldn't, wouldn't fail he had to succeed Quatre and Trowa he was their only hope
" If I'll fail why try and get me to stop? I thought you wanted to see me fail?!!" whispered duo keeping his voice level and calm.
" I was trying to save you the humiliation" was the simple reply as a dark shadow rose up on the path in front of duo like a giant deformed bat. " Call it fatherly concern" mocked the figure, duo snorted and grinned back at the shifting shadow
" Yeah nice try dad… if ya here it means ya worried I'll succeed, ya just gave me the confidence I need to do this thanks" snickered duo evilly, his white teeth flashing for an instant, in the oppressively hot darkness around him, as he shot a disturbing grin at the shadow. "
" If you have to obtain your confidence from me then you've failed before you've even begun shinigami" laughed his father, he then paused for a second before adding " but since you are so sure of yourself try this little image" laughed the god as the walk way under duo's feet crumbled and he was plunged into the river of blood below, sinking into it's thick crimson warmth.
Death, ..blood,…slaughter…massacres,..Murder…a Childs scream, 101 images ripped through duo's head as his eyes, mouth and nose filled with the liquid of the hellish river, the river of pain. In his mouth was the bitter metallic taste of blood, his nose full of the smell of slaughter, a sickening familiar smell that brought memories long buried to the surface? Duo's eyes shut as his lungs screamed for air, he kicked his legs and desperately tried to drag himself towards the surface but something dragged him down..guilt, guilt over what he was, what he'd done, what he'd failed to do…….
His past played again………….

" Maxwell get a hold on yourself we all wish we had the power to stop what happened to Quatre and to save him but we couldn't"
"Of course none of you could save him, how could you But I can, damn you father!"…………………..

" Heero is your life worth so little..am I worth so little that ya can throw it all away with the push of a button?"……………..


*" one mobile suit is good enough right? I'll steal one for you in exchange for that you guys are out of here"
" Duo stop!!"……………………

*" may…god bless..and keep you…………."

" why wont mommy wake up? Mommy?…MOMMMYYY!!!!"

"how can you take lives and yet never have lived one?……..that's so sad"…….
. his mind recoiled violently. setsuna?!..NO!! DON'T MAKE ME REMEMBER!! NOT THAT!!! NOT AGAIN!! Duo tried block off the memory but it was too late, the crimson haze his mind was wrapped in cleared, he was back in the hospital room, back in the room of the one who'd changed his life…
" Setsuna" he whispered.

" Doctor call on line one"
" Clear coming through!!"
" Nurse we've been waiting 4 hours how much longer is it likely to be before we are seen to?!!"
" Trauma in cubicle two, possible head injury"

Shinigami stopped in the middle of the hospital waiting room and let the buzz of life wash over him. To most people a hospital would seem a fearful place where one went when ones life was going to end or where you went to visit loved ones in pain. However to someone, whose trade was death there was no better place on earth to see the struggle for life in action. All around shinigami people were giving birth to new life, working tirelessly to preserve it or just fighting to hold on to it. He loved the hospital..all the different people, ages, races , religions crowded in to the one place in one delicious MELTING POT of humanity. But it also saddened him because he knew that with his passing this place would soon be without one less fighter.

He narrowed his eyes and scanned the people in front of him searching for his latest acquisition, his gaze penetrating beyond the hospital walls and into the surrounding wards. He wasn't looking for a face but more an aura, a person's spiritual signature and he found it…one almost white and tinged with black, they didn't have long, and it was time to call them home.
He folded his black wings onto his back and set off through the crowd towards the i.c.u ward leaving an icy chill in the air. No one saw his despite the blinding glare of the over heard lights because he wasn't really there, he existed on another plane and as such could slip in and out of homes un noticed the only people who ever detected him were animals and small children because their minds were not so cluttered with modern life and so they were more aware of their surroundings. The god gave a faint smirk as a small 5 year old girl deliberately stepped to one side to let him pass, her mother turned and looked at her daughter
" What on earth are you doing Aika?" she asked pulling her coat round her and shivering…had it suddenly gone cold?
" Letting the angel with the funny wings past" replied the little girl staring after shinigami, her mother looked at the thin air beside the child and shook her head putting her hand on the girls fore head
" Your fever is getting worse Aika…come on back to the ward honey" she clucked, ushering the child away

An angel? Thought shinigami that's one I've not been called before…yeah that's me shinigami…angel of death…just hope ya don't see me again sweetie…not for a while anyways. He stopped in front of a heavy plastic door, on it was hung a chart with the name " Setsuna" written on it and the words " isolation" in large black letters.
" Poor kid" whispered shinigami eyeing the brief description on the chart before stepping forward and melting through the door into to a bright white room.
The air was thick with the smell of disinfectant, enough to make a person wretch it was so overpowering and from the ceiling hung large plastic barriers that shone under the glaring lamps all around.
Behind the barrier was a teenage girl though she could have passed for a child she was so frail and thin, her illness had greedily devoured her body leaving a faint wisp of the girl she had been.

As shinigami moved forward he noticed something else about her..She looked familiar….that fine boned face…..the pale skin and the fall of blonde hair that was splayed across the starch white hospital pillow…it all reminded him of the girl he'd refused to take….Hotura the little girl…..the little sunbeam…now her sister had to die too? No!!..he turned to leave, there were other people who's time it was…what harm would it be if he let her live a few more days? But a voice stopped him from leaving
" y..you're different to how I imagined …have you come to take me away now?" shinigami turned and saw bright eyes fixed on him, not in his direction but on him, they were locked with his violet ones. He frowned at the pale angel
" you can see me?" she nodded her head weakly
" Yes…I've seen you before , you took my sister…you're shinigami…..you are death"