"Imagine your OTP not knowing each other that well, then getting accidentally handcuffed together and having to do everything together, unable to get out of the cuffs until the next day."
The brunette shivered as she witnessed her surroundings: dated, white walls where cobwebs and mould settled in the corners, an ancient carpet which was once the brightest blue, questionable cushioned chairs, made with a rough fabric and loosely bolted tubes of steel which triggered a slight wobble every time the girl tilted to the left. In Lima, this definitely wasn't one of the more expensive, high-budget, clean, glamorous destinations – then again, the girl had never really seen what that had looked like. She had grown up in a debateable area of New York, and, once enrolled in the University of Lima, she seized any moment to get away from that place – then again, she had never expected that a place could be more awful than the unsafe area to which she had lent her youth. Well, it turned out that there was a more awful place – and that place just happened to be Lima, Ohio.
Where was she, exactly? One day, an ad had slipped amongst the other pieces of mail in her small apartment near campus; she had seen the words 'SELF-ESTEEM', 'CONFIDENCE BUILDING' and 'TRUST' – all things she lacked – and the sentence "FIRST SESSION FREE!" at the bottom of the leaflet, and a strange uninhibited character reigned over, deciding that she might as well give it a shot, especially since it was her final year of college and she had experienced little change, and little luck when finding new people; new friends; new guys. Now, here she was, sitting in circle formation with several other people – some old, some as young as her – all looking as miserable as herself.
A man who the brunette assumed was in his forties, clad in a shirt with rolled-up sleeves, a waistcoat, a navy tie and slacks took to the centre of the circle, clapping his hands together once with extreme enthusiasm which made a few members of the group jitter slightly. He began. "Right, I think it's time to get started. Hello everyone, my name is Will Schuester, and welcome to-"
An opening door interrupted the peppy individual as a man in his twenties entered in a hurry, heaving in breaths as if he had been underwater for a decade and spluttering out apologies. "Sorry, the bus was late. Can I come in?"
The leader of the group smiled warmly and waved a hand towards a vacant seat. "Sure. Come in."
Marley pursed her lips as she noted Will's hand wave, gesturing towards the seat next to her which was undeniably unoccupied. She rolled her eyes and sighed, instantly pinning this young man as late and unorganised, even though she hadn't even seen his face – it was part of her personality, jumping to conclusions. It was something she did instinctively; something that was done subconsciously.
The session's teacher went back to talking. "As I was saying, I'm Will Schuester, and this is a support group and class towards motivation, self-esteem, confidence and trust – but you all knew that anyway from the ad. And it's funny, because by coming to this class, you have all proved that you are actually more capable of all those things than you think. Think about it: a colourful ad told you to come here to help you improve your confidence, motivation, etcetera, and you put your trust in me by assuming that I was telling the truth. There may have been people all over Lima who saw this ad but didn't think any of it, or didn't come because they lacked the things I was offering to you here in this class, or because they didn't trust that this was a real support group. For that reason, I would like to congratulate you all – without even knowing it, you've taken the first step to improving yourselves. And I'm proud of you all, for that reason, even though you're all strangers." Will Schuester explained, looking warmly at every face in an almost patronising way. He nodded his head, pondering over his words for a few seconds, before he spoke again. "That being said, I'd love for us not to be strangers – after all, knowledge is the first step to trust. So, let's go round in a circle and tell each other a little bit about ourselves – just the bare basics for now. Let's start with…" The man spun around, before his pointed index finger landed on none other than the brunette herself, who was considerably slouched on the uncomfortable chair.
Naturally, her face reddened. After all, she wouldn't be attending these classes if it wasn't for her sizeable loss of confidence. She cleared her throat upon feeling it close up slightly, before sitting up, now rigid in her place. "Um, I'm Marley Rose…" she began, scanning each face in the room in a millisecond, unsure of what to say next; she soon landed her gaze on Will, who was nodding her on with the same amount of warmth as always, and the brunette felt compelled to continue with something, at least. "I'm 22 years old and I go to the University of Lima. I'll be… uh… graduating this year, with an English major. I work part time at the Lima Bean – you know, that coffee place?" She sighed, looking down before looking up again. Public speaking was never her thing – especially not around strangers. "I live by myself in an apartment near campus, as I don't have any family around here – most of them still live in New York. I grew up in Bushwick with my mom before I enrolled and moved here. That's me covered, I guess…"
There was a strange silence as everyone in the room comprehended her words in between the awkward breaths and jitters which had a frequent part in her monologue – unsurprisingly, this silence was broken by Schuester. "Thank you, Marley. Welcome. Oh, and – relationship status?"
The blue-eyed girl was taken aback. Why did that matter? Was she being hit on by this strange man who wanted to know about her personal life? …Then, she stopped asking questions. Her 'Marley Rose Instincts' were taking over, so instead, she took a (hopefully unnoticeable) deep breath and managed a painful smile. "Single."
"Okay. Orientation?"
Once again, the girl felt somewhat vandalised. "I-Uh… is it necessary to answer that?" Marley spoke back with more attitude than she had originally intended as she broke out of her usual shy character for a few moments.
Mr Schuester was also a bit taken aback by this comment. "It's just so we can know each other a bit better with as few insecurities as possible." He tried to assure her.
"Fine." Marley swayed, slouching back in her seat, crossing her arms and looking pointedly at the man. She hated being pressured. "Straight."
Will nodded, before swiftly moving on to the next person – that incident had definitely set Marley's mood for the rest of the session. Even though she was a Plain Jane and had absolutely nothing to hide – bar a specific piece of baggage in particular which she opted not to reveal, and prayed that she'd never have to – she hated being violated like that, even though the 'interrogator' seemed nice enough. She felt claustrophobic.
Upon struggling to listen to the countless stories around the room, all seemingly longer than hers, she sensed something; something watching her. The brunette cast her eyes down to see his black converse, sticking out at the end of some long, crossed legs which were inside the circle, extremely different to the other people of the room, who all had their legs tucked somewhat self-consciously beneath their chairs, or at rigid right angles to the seat and the floor. He wore dark jeans and, as she finally moved her eyes further up his body, noticed that he also wore a navy zipped hoodie, with an orange shirt revealed as a result of the undone zips. He was crossing his arms – even by body language he looked confident, undeniably out of place in this group of people. Marley bit her lip, and moved her eyes to his face… and that was when she realised: the reason she felt like she was being watched was because he was watching her, probably this entire time. His lips were curled into a smirk, his jaw distinct, large pools of chocolate acting as the colour of his eyes – his hair almost matching that colour completely, as it projected a shaggy, old school Justin Bieber-type hairdo of chestnut brown. His shoulders were broad. Their eyes clicked for an agonising amount of time, before Marley felt her cheeks burning, her eyes almost watering out of pure embarrassment that he had been staring at her for some unknown reason – her burgundy-coloured face was what made her tear her glance away from the young man at once, instead deciding to look over her outfit choice instinctively (her floral, crimson mini dress with plain black tights, her favourite ankle boots and a woolly, black, mid-length shawl) for no apparent reason. Then, her mind wandered to how she looked in the mirror this morning – she had let her hair down, doing nothing to it for fear of being late, and for some reason she was regretting it now. She thought she looked prettier with it up; thinner, even. She had simple makeup on: only her usual, pale foundation and powder, mascara, a bit of eyeliner to define her eyes a bit more and make them look bigger, and some lipstick which matched the colour of her dress. Now that people were looking at her (and in one case, staring at her), her face felt bare and naked – she wished she would have put on more, some of that eye shadow which made her look prettier, or some more contouring.
After what seemed like years, it was the last person's turn to speak. His turn. "And, last but not least… you, sir." Will had given a grand introduction.
He projected that same half-smirk to the entire group as Marley finally lifted her head back up, but still hid behind her hair slightly. He chuckled. "Hi – I'm Ryder Lynn. I'm 23, and I live near the centre of Lima with my roommate, Sam. He told me I should take this class because he's tired of being my wingman." He paused to chuckle slightly, and others around the room stifled a giggle too. He was instantly likeable. "I graduated last year with a major in Advertising at a college not too far from here, and I grew up in Cincinnati, so I guess you could say I'm just gradually making my way through Ohio." He laughed again – Marley was somewhat jealous of his flawless social skills. "Right now I work for a small advertising company, but I'm trying to look for other places to earn and be independent. Oh, and I'm newly single. And straight."
"Thank you, Ryder." Mr Schue showed his gratitude, before clapping once more and spinning around to the proportion of the circle to which he had his back facing – it gave Marley a chance to sneak a glace to her left, at Ryder, and it seemed that he had the same intentions, as they turned towards each other in unison. Marley looked at him, confused as to why he was still grinning at her, blushing red again and looking down into her lap as Will continued his monologue. "Now, our first exercise will be the hardest, but I wouldn't be throwing you in the deep end if it wasn't completely beneficial for all of you in some way – guaranteed. So, this exercise stands mainly around trust, and trying new things, and it all starts by just closing your eyes and holding out both of your wrists. So, on the count of three, you're all gonna close your eyes – no peeping – and hold out your wrists. Ready?" People around the room nodded unsurely, before Will's countdown began. "Three, two, one."
Marley squeezed her eyes shut and then, upon finally getting over her cautiousness, stuck her arms out in the open, revealing her bare wrists and fingernails with slightly-chipped black nail varnish. She heard a number of clicks around the room and confused breaths of people around her, until she could sense someone standing in front of her, and clasped something cold around her wrist. It was slightly heavy, and her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.
After an abundance of long seconds, and everyone's impatience growing larger, Will finally announced what everyone had been anticipating: "Okay, guys. You can open your eyes now."
Before the brunette could open her eyes, she felt something tug against her left arm and drag it down– her nerves reacted rapidly, as she felt the texture of denim, warm denim… and then, she opened her eyes, and her curious glare travelled to where her left hand was.
It was in Ryder's lap, resting on his thigh, dangerously close to his crotch (considering he was a stranger) and as she tried to pull her hand away in disgust, the reason became apparent as his right hand travelled with her, a chain creating a tiny bit of space between their hands, which were restrained with the unimaginable: handcuffs.
Marley stared at the restraints and audibly gasped, dragging her hand closer to her (and, consequently, his hand as well) as she inspected the mechanism. It was locked. She almost cursed out loud (something very un-Marley-like) before Mr Schuester interrupted everyone's thoughts. Cocking her head up to the leader, she pursed her lips (her equivalent of a bitter scowl) and was tempted to cross her arms, if only she wasn't attached to some stranger. Instead, their joined hands dangled awkwardly in the space between their two chairs.
"Alright, everyone. So, how are we all feeling now that I've done that?" Everyone looked equally depressed and appalled by the man's actions.
The brunette couldn't fight the urge, and in an unintentionally loud, almost embarrassing voice, she sputtered: "Violated." Ryder looked at her and stifled a small chuckle.
Mr Schue looked sincerely at Marley, as if he hadn't just handcuffed everyone and invaded their personal space. "Yes, I thought you might. Well, you all trusted me to do something, and you didn't know what to expect, right? So, I went and did that. And now your trust is a bit faltered in me, correct?" Not a single head lay still – everyone nodded. "So, I am your past. I am a demon. I am something you may have been born with, I'm something you may have just experienced. I damaged your ability to trust. But, what we need to do, is work with our demons. Compromise, in order to, ideally, destroy them. So, as the second step to your journey to confidence; motivation; trust, you are going to stay attached to this person. You are going to compromise your demons with them for an entire day, and you will stay with this person. You will compromise. And you will get out of the handcuffs this time tomorrow-"
"Wait, what the hell?" Marley had a sudden burst of confidence (a rare occurrence). "We have to stay locked up to a stranger for an entire day?! What if we already have plans? What about sleeping arrangements? What about getting dressed, or going to the bathroom or something?"
Mr Schuester chuckled. "You will need to trust this person in order to complete the exercise, Marley. That's the whole point."
Marley was speechless, and looked from the handcuffs, to Ryder, to the group leader, utterly gobsmacked. "Unbelievable. Unbelievable!"
Ryder giggled. "Hey, I'm not that bad to hang around with."
"That's not the point! I just- I- I can't…" Marley was running out of confidence, so she licked her lips, moulded them shut and sunk back in her chair, somewhat defeated. "Isn't there at least an alternative option?"
"Marley, in life, there are no alternative options. Next year you'll be truly released into the wide world, and you need to be prepared for that. If you get through this, you will be so proud of yourself. Trust me."
The blue-eyed girl stayed silent, just reclining stubbornly in her chair. No matter what he said, she still thought that the entire thing was sick.
Marley was fed up. After another 15 minutes of agonising motivational speeches courtesy of William Schuester, mishaps with trying to get her coat on with an extra person attached to her, flirtatious remarks from her new conjoined twin which she just didn't need and people staring at them as they walked down the streets of Lima, she had already been very close to giving up. "Listen, there's that shop that makes keys down a few blocks from here – maybe they know something about unlocking cuffs."
"I seriously doubt it, Marley." Ryder giggled. "And I am trying my hardest not to get offended. I mean, what's so bad about this? We're not gonna get out of it, so I've made my piece with it."
"The point is that I hate having my personal space invaded. And that happy-go-lucky, patronising dork invaded it from the moment I said my name. Why the hell did we have to know each other's relationship statuses? And sexual orientations?! I mean, I don't think that's very polite no matter what the situation, to just, like, straight up ask it like that!" Marley scolded – not towards Ryder, but just towards the entire day altogether.
The boy smirked. "I get what you mean." He concluded, looking at her even though she didn't look back. "Did you have plans tonight?"
"Not that it's any of your business…" Marley retorted uncharacteristically (she was just in a rage, no matter who said what). "But yes. I had a date tonight."
Ryder shrugged, nodding. "Fair play. Who's the guy?"
Marley looked down shyly. "His name is Jake. Jake Puckerman."
The boy didn't cease the questions. "Is he attractive?"
The blue eyed girl knitted her eyebrows together. "Why does that matter?"
"It doesn't, I just… you deserve someone who's hot." Ryder sneered.
"You've only just met me, how the hell do you know what I deserve?" Marley giggled agitatedly.
Ryder's gaze fixed on her as they walked for a long period of time. "Because anyone who is even mildly tolerant of having someone like me handcuffed to them for a whole day deserves someone who's at least attractive."
Marley looked at him pointedly. "It's only been an hour handcuffed to you, sweetheart. We'll see about lasting a day later."
The chestnut-haired boy chuckled, and was about to put his hands up in defence, had he not remembered that they were joined together. "Can I ask something?"
"Sure. I mean, we're practically conjoined for a day." The blue-eyed girl dismissed.
"Why are you attending these classes? I mean, you seem like you can handle yourself with the whole speaking thing… I mean, sure, you were nervous at first, but you're not exactly shy now…" Ryder stopped.
"Woah, woah, woah. We're conjoined, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna tell you my deepest darkest secrets." Marley chastised.
The brown-eyed boy chuckled. "I know. But… if it's not the shy thing, then… what is it?" He looked at her sincerely, concerned, already dying to know these things about her.
Marley looked at him, raising her eyebrows. "You're very intrusive, did you know that?"
He half-smirked again – something that Marley was growing both annoyed of and fond of. "Of course I know that."
"Okay…" The girl huffed. "Body issues. A lot of them."
Ryder smiled. "Okay, body issues. See, I bet you feel ten times better by just telling me that."
"No, actually." Marley giggled. "Because now you're just going to hit on me for the entire night and tell me lovely compliments about my body and my face, which, for the record, I totally don't need right now."
It was Ryder's turn to raise his eyebrows. "And what's so bad about that?" He smirked again.
The brunette giggled again. "Because I'm not free for you to hit on, okay? I had a date tonight."
"Yeah, but this afternoon you said you were single." He hummed, reminding her.
"In theory, that would be true. But me and Jake have been on five successful dates and just because he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend, doesn't mean we're not a thing. I mean, he's certainly hinted at it." The girl looked pointedly at him.
"I don't know if you know how relationships work, but… technically, you're not a thing. And this Jake guy can go and buy drinks for all the girls he wants right now. And if you really thought that you guys were a thing, you wouldn't have told everyone that you were single." Ryder retorted gently, triggering an eye roll from the girl he was cuffed to.
"What did you say your major was again?"
"Advertising."
"Hm, funny… I would have thought it was psychology with the amount of privacy you've taken from me tonight." Marley teased.
"Ouch…" Ryder mumbled. "You've got more up your sleeve than you showed at our little trust session, Rose."
"Mhm…" Marley nodded. "But I think I've still got to learn more about you."
"How about this: you call Jake and let him know that you can't make your little date tonight, and then we can go for a drink. Maybe I'll open up to you then." Ryder arched one eyebrow, looking at her in the dull orange glow of the streetlights.
"Alright – I'll ignore the flirtatious overtones of that suggestion and agree with you." Marley rolled her eyes again and sighed, before stopping them to get her phone out of her purse – it proved difficult with the extra limb, but after a while of scrambling, they managed. Marley was just about to tap onto Jake's contact and initiate the phone call, when she came to the realisation of what Ryder had said. "Wait, maybe you'll open up to me? That's not fair, I just told you loads of stuff about me!"
"Shhh, you have a phone call to make." Ryder sneered, instigating yet another eye roll from Marley as she pressed the phone to her cheek.
"Hi Jake, it's me… Marley… Yeah. Listen, I can't make our date tonight – I've got myself a bit of an emergency… No, it's nothing you should worry about… I'm sorry… I was looking forward to it, too. How about Saturday instead? …Great! Okay, I'll see you then. Bye." She sighed as she hung up, scrambling to get her phone back into her purse. Once again, Ryder was smirking.
"Did you just refer to me as an "emergency"?"
"Well, I wasn't exactly going to say "Hey, I can't make our date tonight because I got myself handcuffed to a stranger who won't stop asking me questions", was I?" She replied, half irritated, half humoured.
"Alright, touché. So – where are we sleeping tonight: mine or yours?"
"Oh, shut up."
"Hey, I'm just trying to organise things here. We're kind of in disarray." Ryder looked at her knowingly.
Marley pursed her lips. "Oh, we're in disarray?"
"How about we go to that bar now?" The brown-eyed boy dodged her snarky question with a new one, to which Marley nodded as they made their way down the streets of Lima, searching for a nice bar amongst the nightlife.
Upon arriving at a nice bar after a ten minute walk to find one that they both approved of, the two desperately scrambled onto the stools in front of the counter, very grateful that they got to give their feet a much needed rest.
"Why couldn't we use one of our cars to get here again?" Ryder panted – he had explained beforehand that his stamina was awful.
"Because you can't drive when you're handcuffed to someone, you goofball." Marley had reciprocated with a teasing retort.
A bartender stood in front of the two, behind the counter, matching the stereotype by wearing a semi-formal outfit and drying a glass with a cloth. "What will it be, you two?"
"Just a beer, please." Ryder spoke drowsily, not caring which one the bartender picked out. "Whichever one you suggest."
The bartender then turned to the cerulean-eyed brunette. "And you, miss?"
"Double vodka and coke on the rocks, please." Marley spoke nonchalantly, triggering somewhat bewildered facial expressions from both Ryder and the bartender.
"Oh, great, because I'd love to have a drunk person attached to me." Ryder spoke doubtfully and arched an eyebrow, causing Marley to giggle and shush him, reassuring him that she wasn't a lightweight at all.
"That's fine with me, but I'm gonna need to see some ID." The bartender said and, upon hearing these words, Marley scrambled to get the item in her purse, causing havoc with the extra limb. The bartender noticed this, and was very confused, noticeably peering over the counter to catch sight of the handcuff. "What…"
"It's this trust exercise." Ryder explained simply as Marley finally retrieved her ID and showed the bartender, before he shrugged and got to work on fixing their drinks.
The brown-haired boy smirked at her card. "Cute picture."
"Shut up, you." Marley chastised. They lapsed into silence for a few long seconds, just listening to the chatter around them in the dimly-lit room and the vague crooning of music in the background. Marley felt obligated to say what was on her mind: "I don't know how this happened." She giggled, looking at him. "One day I'm watching reruns of Whose Line Is It Anyway while going through the mail, and I saw this ad and was like "why not?", and now I'm handcuffed to a complete stranger. And then that Schuester has the nerve to say it's gonna be "beneficial" for everyone. I have no idea how – I'm just trusting him best I can."
Ryder chuckled and looked at her. "Maybe it'll be beneficial because you'll have yourself a new friend – perhaps, I don't know, the one that's handcuffed to you right now?"
Marley smirked. "I'll think about it." She bit her lip. "Now, you promised me that you'd tell me why you joined our little support group…"
"I didn't promise anything, Rose. I said "Maybe"." The boy pointed out, sneering, looking at his beer bottle now that the bartender had slid their drinks across the table.
"Well, I think I deserve a promise. So go on – tell me." Marley persisted, urging him on by completely facing towards him and looking at him sincerely (and, Ryder thought, somewhat flirtatiously as well), taking a small sip from her glass.
"Alright, then." He dismissed, taking a swig of his beer. "So my last three girlfriends – all long term relationships, by the way – ended, because the girl was cheating on me. Trust issues and that. Done."
Marley was in awe. "Your last three girlfriends? Ouch…"
"Yeah. And you know, I'm always jumping back and forth from "screw them" and "it was my fault because I didn't keep them satisfied". And it's usually the latter that wins, so I guess you could say my confidence is pretty low too." Ryder admitted, chuckling humourlessly and looking between his bottle and her.
Despite the fact that he was chatting about the matter with such insouciance, the girl felt obligated to sooth him; to reassure him. After all, it was only what he deserved. "I bet that hurt like a bitch. And I'm sure it isn't you – those girls were probably just full of it. Sometimes guys can offer girls so much security and love that they take it for granted and get selfish with it – that's, like, 99% of why girls cheat, from my perspective. So it probably isn't anything personal at all – some girls just want everything."
Despite the fact that he barely knew this girl, Ryder nodded and smiled. He took another swig of his bottle, then turned to her. "And what about you? What do you want?"
Marley sighed. "Loyalty, trust and happiness are the most important parts in a relationship – in my opinion, at least. And the minute one of those is missing, the entire relationship just turns to crap, so… yeah. I want those three things maintained."
Ryder shrugged. "That's all? No Victoria's Secret stuff, or a car, a pony, a Whose Line Is It Anyway box set… nothing?"
The brunette laughed. "Nope. I'm Plain Jane."
"Wow. Must be fun shopping for you at Christmas…" Ryder mumbled, earning a slap from the girl in question.
"Hey, shut up." She giggled, crinkling her nose up as she laughed, before she took another drink of her vodka and coke.
They went on like that, joking and exchanging small talk as they continued to learn things about the other person. Talking about college, their favourite movies, songs and experiences (and comically disagreeing in places), and one drink later, they were talking about relationships yet again (worst dates, awkward experiences and the like) when Marley turned her head. Her eyes stumbled upon an undesirable sight.
"Oh… Oh my God. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ." Previously laughing, now her face was as inflexible as stone.
"What? What is it?"
"You were right. Finding out that something is happening behind your back does feel like crap."
"Marley, you've got to help me out here-"
"You want me to help you out? Alright, here:" She extended the arm that wasn't handcuffed and pointed to a figure, sitting at a table in the dining area of the bar. "That's Jake," she spoke bitterly and in shock. "And that's the girl I sit next to in my Literature classes."
Following the spectacle which she was gesturing towards, the boy went wide eyed at the pair a few feet away from them, who were exchanging flirtatious glances over their drinks and a bowl of olives, which they were seductively feeding each other. The girl's hand was caressing his thigh under the table. The whole scene made Marley feel physically ill.
"Marley…" Ryder started, hoping he could find something to say to her at this time. In all fairness, Marley and Jake weren't officially dating and they had only been on five dates, but he could tell that the brunette thought she had a connection with this man – obviously, this Jake character was playing his cards like a womanizer.
Emotionless, the brunette pivoted back, facing the counter and, without much thought, picked up her beverage and glugged the whole thing down. It had been almost entirely full.
"Marley..." Ryder tried again, sounding a bit sterner so that she wouldn't do anything stupid – hell, he'd only just met her, but he felt something; something that meant that seeing her do something she'd regret would hurt him deeply. "It's okay. The guy's a jerk, you were better off without him anyway."
"He sounded so loyal to me…" Marley murmured, half-minded. "He told me I was- he- God, I'm so stupid!" She groaned. "Firstly, I fell into the same booby-trap as always and fell for a guy who didn't give a shit about my actual feelings, and now I've discovered that he's one of them and now I'm ranting about it to a stranger. I'm insane." She looked at her empty glass, filled with nothing but the ice cubes which never had the chance to melt before she downed the drink. "I should just go." And she did – or at least, she tried to – before she was promptly reminded of the reason they were even there in the first place. She almost dragged Ryder with her as the girl tried to storm out, before she was prompted of the handcuffs. "Damn it!" She yelled, though hardly anyone heard her in the relatively packed bar. She huffed and sat back down on the bar stool, just looking at her empty glass with sorrow and regret.
"Hey," Ryder said, getting her attention. "Why don't you go over to him? You can make him remember that what he's doing is wrong, or something." He suggested, earning a sad little chuckle from the girl.
"Yeah, or maybe we could just make out and make him jealous." She spoke sarcastically, but Ryder took it seriously.
"If you really think that would work..." He said, sitting up.
"No, you idiot! I was joking. This guy wouldn't even be bothered if I was making out with you. He obviously doesn't care. He's close to fornicating this girl." Marley insisted, sliding her glass along the counter and gesturing to the bartender that she wanted another one. After a while, she rested her cheeks in her hands, her elbows resting on the bar table. "I think I'm already over it." She said, but her expressions told a dissimilar story.
"Look: you're obviously not, and there's no point lying to me about it." Ryder observed, before turning to the bartender and insisting that Marley no longer needed – nor wanted – another round of drinks; the brunette, of course, heavily protested.
"Hey! I needed that!" She exclaimed.
"Think of it this way: the more you drink, the more you'll need to use the restroom… with me attached to you. You can't exactly escape that, can you?" Ryder sneered, offering her the idea as she winced at it.
"You know, sometimes I hate it when you're right." Marley scowled, though she was beginning to grin.
"I thought you said we were strangers." Ryder teased, nudging her with his un-padlocked hand.
Marley looked at him, and couldn't help but reciprocate the smirk between nibbling her lip. She then turned back over to Jake, and someone who she used to rely on. Her heart sank again. "Can we go before he starts pursuing her on the pool table? Please?"
"Sure." Ryder smiled. "My place or yours tonight?"
Marley fought the urge to roll her eyes at his open, nonchalant way of putting the words. "Yours. My apartment is a mess."
"And you don't think mine isn't?" He arched an eyebrow, making her giggle once more as the two paid for their drinks and left.
One thing Marley had learnt about the boy was that he always kept his word – that included his subtle description of the shared apartment he had with his roommate (Sam, the brunette recalled). Having stopped at the blue-eyed student's apartment for overnight clothes, clothes for tomorrow and toiletries, they stepped into the boy's apartment – a flat which could only be described as, well, a pig sty. The cream walls in every room attempted to bring life into the space, but were tremendously let down by the cluttered kitchen/dining area (featuring an area of piled-up, unwashed dishes and random magnets scattered across the fridge), a beige fabric sofa presenting various signs of human life with the flattened cushions and food splatters on it, a flat screen TV (leaving Marley no choice but to wonder how they could afford it) with DVD and video game boxes strewn on the coffee table in front of it, and three doors around the living space – the brunette assumed that one was to Ryder's room, one was to Sam's and one was a bathroom.
"Welcome, young lady, to my humble abode." Ryder announced proudly, gesturing with an open arm to the surroundings. Marley cracked a smile.
"It's… big. A lot bigger than my place, actually."
"Aw, cute. Well, Sam's a model, so most of the stuff in here wouldn't be around if it wasn't for him-" Ryder tried to explain.
"Wait, a model? And in Ohio of all places?" Marley raised an eyebrow, instantly confused and ultimately very intrigued by this 'Sam'.
Ryder chuckled "Yeah. He's awesome. He might even be home…" The chestnut-haired boy smirked, before turning away from the girl and calling out into the apartment. "Sam! …Sam! I'm home!"
Then, Marley was gobsmacked. At the call of the man's name came a person who Marley could only assume was Sam – a blonde boy, handsome and with, frankly, the hugest lips she'd ever seen on someone since Angelina Jolie. Nonetheless, he was handsome. You couldn't deny that. His hair was slightly wet and shaggy… oh, and he was only wearing a towel around his waist.
Sam gave a knowing grin. "Hey, dude! How was the trust thingy?" He smirked at the both of them, making the girl feel both embarrassed and flattered at the same time as the blonde boy opened the fridge, giving Marley a chance to see the much defined muscles of his back.
"Good. I picked up a hitchhiker." Ryder simpered at Marley, who gave a nervous laugh. To this, Sam turned around (having found some apple juice) and scanned the both of them – especially the beautiful girl. From what was hidden by their thick coats, he could only assume that they were holding hands. "Indeed." He sniggered, somewhat proud of the boy – taking a girl home was definitely something that he only did when he was sure the woman was right for him, but here he was. "Will you introduce me, then?"
"Oh, yeah! This is Marley. She's just a year younger than me and is studying an English major at the university. We met in the support class." Ryder gestured with his free hand, leaving Marley in a position to nod politely at him, surreptitiously ogle at his six pack, and blush a bright red – a red that made itself very noticeable as it spread quickly across her face.
"Nice to meet you, Marley." The blonde man half-grinned, holding out his hand for her to shake; she almost did, more than willingly, if it wasn't for the handcuffs that dragged Ryder's hand along with hers as a result, revealing the real reason as to why they were in such close proximity of one another – and why Ryder had brought her there in the first place. Sam reacted rapidly, and it was clear by his complexion that it was so. "Wha- I- okay… now I'm really confused. You handcuffed yourself to her so that this one wouldn't cheat on you? Bro, that's…"
"…Not the reason we're handcuffed together, dude." Ryder impatiently finished his friend's sentence – Sam didn't know when to stop talking most of the time, and the brown-haired boy could sense that the girl next to him was getting more uncomfortable by the second. "It was our stupid trust support group which made this happen. The dude that runs it appears to think that handcuffing strangers together against their will is a journey of 'true faith' or whatever, and something about 'fighting our demons and compromising together'." He huffed, reliving the bizarre experience. "We got handcuffed together and won't be unlocked until tomorrow."
The trio stood silently for a few excruciating seconds, until Sam broke it with the unimaginable: he laughed. "Dude, that's hilarious, you've got to admit."
Ryder furrowed his eyebrows together. "No, why would you-"
"Why are you complaining? You get to be handcuffed to this attractive girl who's pretty much the same age as you for an entire day! I mean, look at her – she's stunning, if I do say so myself…" He eyed her up and down like she was a prize, making her very flustered, uncomfortable and appreciative all at once. All that she could manage to say was a long string of bashful gibberish in response.
"Alright, alright, when you're done chatting up my conjoined twin, how about you go and put some clothes on, and I can finish showing Marley the rest of the apartment." Ryder joked, though the annoyance in his voice was easily perceptible. After eyeing her one more time, Sam obliged, giving the brown-eyed boy a chance to turn to his female counterpart and apologise best he could. "Jesus, I'm sorry about him. He can get weirdly frisky when he's around girls – it's actually kind of creepy."
"That's okay," Marley instantly blurted out, in a sort of trance as she stood there. "I didn't think it was creepy at all…"
Ryder raised his eyebrows for the umpteenth time that day. "You wouldn't, would you?" He scoffed, before traipsing to the kitchen (and dragging her along with him in the process). "What do you want for dinner, then? How about we order pizza?"
Marley grimaced at the mention of the greasy, fatty substance – it was a sustenance she vowed never to eat again, and just thinking about the countless calories that were in the food made her stick to her stomach. Ryder noticed. "Um… is there any other food we can have? Something… healthier? If it's not too much trouble…" She ejected the words from her mouth in a hurry, to which Ryder nodded gingerly.
"Got anything in mind? Sam and I can't cook for nothing." He chuckled as Marley conjured up ideas.
"Uh…" She pondered, skimming through her brain for easy-to-make, low calorie meals. "Do you have any Progresso Soup, or anything?"
Ryder went to work on raiding every cupboard in the two boys' kitchen, before his eyes landed on the packaging. "You're in luck, Rose – Sam's super health conscious because of his whole modelling career and he, like, eats this stuff twenty-four seven. You're not vegetarian, are you? You're alright with chicken noodle?"
Marley sighed, relieved that she could get away with only having 100 calories for dinner. "That's perfect. Thank you."
The boy grinned at her relief, looking at the can of soup once more, before his eyes transfixed on the decorative banner at the bottom, which displayed what must have made it so appealing to Marley – the low calorie content. "Are you sure this is enough for you? You don't want anything else?"
She was naïve in thinking – with someone as caring as Ryder around – that she would get away with it.
"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm not really that hungry after those drinks." She attempted to assure him, and got an unsure look in response, but Ryder eventually shrugged. "I'll order the pizza for me and Sam. The phone's just a few feet away… do you think you can stretch your arm out so I can reach it?" He asked in a tone that showed he was well aware of the ridiculousness that came with the assignment. Marley snickered, before doing as Ryder asked her to while he ordered the pizza.
Twenty minutes later, after an extremely awkward bathroom experience where they tested the limit of the cuffs by trying to stand outside the bathroom while the other person used it (and, with these moments, the considerable plummet of both of their dignity), Marley was stirring her soup over the hob when a knock to the door arose: the pizza.
Before she knew it, the brunette was being dragged along with Ryder to answer the door of the delivery person, who gave them a few questionable looks before the pimple-ridden boy himself sauntered off, having been paid for his services. "Dude! Pizza's here!" Ryder yelled in the general direction of Sam's room, before the blond boy himself arrived and gathered around the pizza box that Ryder was now holding in his hand.
The cerulean-eyed girl soon came to a quick realisation. "Ryder, put the box down – my soup's gonna catch!" With that, Marley dragged the taller boy with all her might, over to the kitchen as he donated the box to Sam in the process.
"Wait – soup? Is she eating my Progresso?" Sam questioned desperately, looking comically hurt. Ryder turned to him upon arriving at the hob and giving Marley the satisfaction of stirring the liquid.
"Calm down!" He chuckled slightly, chastising him. "The pretty girl wanted soup, so I gave her soup. She wanted it especially – didn't you, Mar?" The girl nodded, still with her back facing both boys, her burgundy face triggered by the steam radiating off the soup, Ryder's nickname for her and the fact that someone called her pretty.
Sam relaxed slightly. "Fine, she can have the Progresso. Now can we eat? I'm starving."
Having poured the soup into a bowl that Ryder fetched for her, the three settled on the couch – it was cosy, to say the least, and there was hardly any elbow room. Marley attempted balancing the hot bowl on her knees, but it wobbled precariously – the brown-haired boy, of course, noticed this.
"Look: eating soup is obviously a two-handed job, so I'll let you loan my hand for this one. Sam, you're choosing what we watch on TV." He decided, showing his dominance in the group and, having said this, he loosened his hand so that Marley could use it to eat her soup, using her handcuffed hand to lift up the spoon as Ryder's bobbed up and down with hers, as he tried to eat his pizza.
Sam paused his channel flicking to observe the two, before concluding with: "Wow. Never have I witnessed something so romantic and weird at the same time." Making both of the people in question blush, Marley almost spitting out her soup and Ryder pausing his mouthful to gawk at him.
"Dude, shut up." He scolded timorously with his mouth full, before swallowing and continuing his speech. "We're just two people who happen to be handcuffed together, you don't have to make a love story out of it." He assured his friend. For some reason, that comment made Marley feel strangely… sad.
For the rest of their meal, the three sat, watching the TV in a bizarrely comforting silence. Having entertainingly attempted to put away the things used for their meal, Marley actually ended up doing their washing, saying she "couldn't stand dirty dishes" and "even though it's totally sexist to think that this is what a woman does, I can't let you guys live in filth. You're too nice."
"Can we just, like, hire her?" Sam had whispered into Ryder's ear (but their close proximity had meant that Marley still heard).
An hour or so later, Marley, Ryder and Sam were cozied up on the two boys' only couch, watching reruns of Friends, Marley subconsciously snuggling up to Ryder more and more… the weirdest part was that both of them noticed in the end, but neither of them minded. Besides, it was something about her steady breathing against his chest, shoulder and, eventually, neck, which calmed him deeply. It was weird, but it was the kind of weird that he liked.
The familiar outro music sounded and, with it, a tremendous yawn from their blond counterpart. He hoisted himself off the couch, using his kneecaps as a launch pad, before facing the two. "I'm gonna go to bed, I think. I'll leave you two to snuggle…" He smirked, before dragging his tiresome feet back to his bedroom. "Goodnight. Nice meeting you, Marley."
Upon being confronted about their undeniable closeness, the two turned to face each other and pulled away, as far as possible, in a millisecond – only to be restrained by the handcuffs, as the metal cuffs pressed harshly against their wrists at trying to get far away from each other. They both winced, before pelting each other with apologies. After a while, they just began laughing awkwardly, looking at each other sincerely.
Marley was beginning to get into a trance, before she snapped herself out of it and sat upright again from her post-daze slouch. She cleared her throat. "Um… it's late… do you want to… go to bed?"
Ryder clamped his lips together uneasily, letting a sound of agreement travel between them in a muffled tone. They sat in silence for another few long seconds, before Marley crossed her legs on the couch.
"Well…" she spoke timidly. "This isn't going to be awkward…"
Ryder chuckled nervously. "Come on. It'll… It'll be fine."
The girl dragged her suitcase into Ryder's room – a medium-sized space with a double bed, with simple white sheets and pillows. There wasn't much to the room: a bedside table with drawers, a lamp, a wardrobe with a sliding door, (luckily) an en-suite bathroom, and a body-length mirror. Apart from the beige carpet and a few clothes and books strewn across the floor, that was pretty much it. Lifting the light case up effortlessly onto his bed (having awkwardly asked for Ryder's permission first), she zipped it open with her free hand and flipped off the top of it, revealing her change of clothes, her toiletry bag and, when she dug down, she revealed her pyjamas. A simple, three-quarter length sleeve floral shirt and plaid, blue pyjama bottoms. She sucked in a deep breath, preparing herself for what was about to happen.
"Okay," She said eventually. "Do you… want to go first?"
"O-Okay…" Ryder caved, looking at her with eyes that almost popped out of his head at what events were about to proceed, right in his bedroom. "I… uh… yeah. I mean, if you're okay with it."
"I'm gonna have to be, aren't I, unless we both sleep in our current clothes." Marley retorted with more annoyance in her voice than was intended, crossing her arms as much as she could without dragging his hand along with her. She would never be actually comfortable with doing this with someone she'd only just met, but she was going to have to deal with it nonetheless.
Ryder nodded, sensing her discomfort (and, quite frankly, feeling it himself as well – he wouldn't have gone to the support group in the first place if it wasn't for his considerable loss of confidence) and, not wanting to drag the awkward moment out any longer, started unzipping his hoodie before throwing it carelessly over his desk chair, tugging Marley's hand along with his own. With the same hurried movements, he finally lifted his orange shirt over his head and tossed it over his hoodie, revealing his much toned chest and stomach in addition to his muscular arms. The girl had no choice as to stare at the new revealed skin as her hand finally settled at her side again, swinging slightly due to the rushed impact Ryder had made on it. For the first time, Ryder looked nervous; anxious as to what she might think of him, seeing as she was quite obviously gaping at him, biting her lip before she finally met his gaze. He looked emotionless, expectant even – he was expecting Marley to give him his pyjama shirt, and expecting any words or mumblings that might arise.
"Oh, right," Marley realised, her eyes growing even wider as she reached for his pyjama top and gave it to him in a flustered rush. "S-Sorry."
He mumbled an acceptance of her apology under his breath – somewhat shakily, nevertheless – and quickly slid on the loose cotton shirt, concealing his chest from view but doing nothing to hide his arm muscles. No knowing smirks we're exchanged, no assuring Ryder-like one liners, not now that it was such a tense moment between the two. If they had been best friends, maybe things would have been different – but no, there was a strange tension between them as they had to help each other undress – now, they were just two people with faults that were eating away at the both of them; mutual faults. They were just two people who lacked confidence, self-esteem, the ability to trust others… and all the rest of it.
Marley could only watch as the boy in front of her shakily unbuttoned his jeans and undid the zipper, before all but peeling the pants off discreetly as he instantly covered his bare legs up with his pyjama bottoms. Marley had to kneel on the floor as he removed his socks, and then, they were done with him.
"I'm sorry." Ryder broke the silence as the apology spilled clumsily into the air. Somehow, he looked afraid.
"Don't be." The brunette spoke quietly but genuinely. "It's not like you had a choice." She giggled and shrugged, blissfully savouring the moment that a smile teased at the corners of Ryder's mouth. "Now, how about we brush our teeth and go to bed-"
"Marley." The boy raised his eyebrows at her as he murmured the words, gaining her attention, informing her that he wouldn't forget about it that easily. Marley turned back to face him.
"No." was all she said in return, crossing her arms as if shielding herself from the cold.
"The whole point of this is that we have to trust each other. We have to compromise, otherwise we won't get anything out of it, remember?" The chestnut-haired boy looked at her, into her deep cerulean orbs in the dim light of his room. She had no choice but to look back at him. After a while, the boy spoke again: "Can you trust me? Please?"
It took several seconds before the smaller girl managed to nod a few times, making hardly any movements at all – it was the smallest, most frail nod he'd ever seen, but it was one that he was glad to see; it was one that he happily accepted. The brunette's eyes glossed over slightly, thinking about being that close and intimate with someone she barely knew at all… she hadn't let anyone see her so bare, apart from herself.
Recently, she wouldn't even let herself see.
Biting her lip to keep the trembling that overtook it away from Ryder's view, she slipped her free hand under her short dress slowly, reaching up to the hem of her tights, before pulling down slowly to reveal her thin legs. Having done this, she reached for her pyjama bottoms with a desperate desire and quickly slipped them on, craving the feeling of something – anything – covering up her bare skin. She had given Ryder barely any time to look – not that those were his intentions.
"Good." Ryder nodded, trying to reassure her. Despite not knowing the full meaning behind her dubbed "body issues", he knew this had to be awkward for anyone – cursed with crippling confidence issues or not.
Marley looked at him as he said the word, so much worry and regret in her eyes as her breaths grew shakier by the minute, her eyes still glossed over at the moment she was experiencing. Her clammy, unsurprisingly trembling fingernails soon wove over her skin, to the shoulder of her knitted, thick, black shawl, before she shrugged the material off her shoulders and soon pulled the cover from her arms with trembling fingertips, bunching it up in her frail hands and throwing it carelessly into her suitcase, leaving only her crimson dress with strappy sleeves to remove, and her pyjama shirt to put on. Ryder looked at her, his warm eyes leading her on, telling her to persevere, looking anything but judgemental. After a few more long seconds, Marley felt trapped… it was time.
With slow, shaky movements, her fingers found their way to the hem of her dress, savouring the feeling of the fabric against her fingertips, before enforcing a stronger grip and, trying to make it as quick as possible, pulling the clothing item further up her body, up her chest and over her head.
Ryder stood in awe for the few seconds that he saw her bare skin. As she lifted her arms up, her ribcage was firmly perceptible and defined, her stomach not showing any pooch at all, her collar bones distinct, her navy t-shirt bra fitting to her chest with ease. Pulling the dress from her hair as her shoulders sunk back down, biting her lip and gripping the dress to satisfy the furious shaking in her hands, not even looking at his reaction to her body for fear of what his expression might be. Half of her was conscious of her skinniness, the other half conscious of her fatness. The latter overruled.
Having retrieved her t-shirt, she quickly lifted it over her head and slid it on, making sure the hem covered up all skin possible before sighing, looking up at him, emotionless. Ryder just stood there, looking at her and attempting a warm smile – it showed, but his feelings on the inside were ice cold. Marley was so beautiful, just… so thin. And scarily so.
"See," he spoke, cutting through the dense air. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
"No, it was bad." Marley crossed her arms, looking pointedly at him, before picking up her bag of toiletries and leading him to his bathroom. "Come on, let's go brush our teeth."
Having done this (and once Marley had, after much bickering, been prompted to take off her makeup), the two walked back into the brown-haired boy's bedroom, the boy himself struggling to refrain from looking at her.
"What is it with girls and makeup?" He finally queried the rhetorical question. "I mean, it's like an unnecessary mask that you wear. You don't need it." The two couldn't quite recognise if he was talking about girls in general, or just the smaller brunette which he would be sharing a bed with tonight.
"You will never understand the beauty of makeup. It's like, art. And it is more than necessary, thank you very much." Marley retorted teasingly, subconsciously sorting out his bed sheets – being neat was in her nature.
"How is it necessary, though? I mean, it's like its hiding who you are; hiding all the little quirks on your face that make you who you are." Ryder smirked, looking at her smugly.
"Oh, and acne is a little quirk on your face which makes you who you are?" Marley pointed out.
"You don't have acne." Ryder insisted.
"I didn't say I did. Aren't we still talking about "girls in general"? …Not that, you know, a gender can be generalised." Marley smirked, arching one eyebrow, leaving Ryder in no position but to grin back.
"You're a sly one, Rose." And that concluded their 'fight' as they lapsed back into awkward conversation. "So… uh… which side of the bed do you want?"
Marley couldn't compete with the blush that had grown on her cheeks. "I-… I don't mind, I guess. I'm happy wherever."
"Really? You're happy?" He pointed out her poor choice of words – they didn't quite fit the whole situation of the day.
Marley sighed, a small smile making itself present at the corners of her mouth. "I'm happy enough."
"Alright, then…" The brunette boy regained his half-smile. "Ladies first?"
Marley grunted. "Please don't do that to me…" she wined, prompting Ryder to huff.
"Fine. Right side?"
"I'd love to."
So the pair settled in, still hopelessly handcuffed to each other, fidgeting uneasily as Marley settled into the right side of the bed and her fellow prisoner settled into the left. Silence occupied the space for a good few seconds – it would never be said, but they were both unnerved by how the conversation could go from easy-going to just uncomfortable, all in a matter of seconds. The brunette nibbled on her lip in anxiousness, the bed sheets hugging her stomach but leaving her chest and upwards bare. It coaxed a shiver from her spine. Ryder noticed in seconds, turning to her. "Are you comfortable?"
The blue-eyed girl snapped out from her whirl-pooling thoughts to face him, plucking a dangling strand from the sea of brunette hair and twisting it around her finger. "Huh? …Oh, yeah. I am. Thanks." She said in a somewhat uncomfortable tone, shuffling down in a laying position as a way of proving her point and assuring him at the same time. Ryder turned back to facing forward, then looked down at her again as she tucked herself in.
"Goodnight then, Marley." He nodded at her before sliding down into his bed himself, waiting for her to reply with a simple "goodnight" back before attempting sleep.
Marley wished she could turn away from him; that she could just stare at the wall, envious of its simple life and lack of emotions, until she fell sound asleep. But she couldn't – there were too many restraints. The handcuffs, Ryder, Jake, Will Schuester, her mother, her father (or at least what she could remember of him before he left)… all swirling around her brain, nagging at her, yelling even. Throughout the entire day, she had tried not to let the thoughts nag at her – somehow looking at Ryder made that easier. But now she could not escape them, now that there was true silence. She wished that sleep wasn't necessary – it was the last thing she needed, as she evaluated things once more. One way or another, everything lead back to Ryder; despite all the obstacles she had faced that day, she wouldn't have had it any other way. Ryder had tried to understand her, and she would have much preferred Ryder to anyone else in the class or, God forbid, Schuester, so she smiled.
After a few minutes, she sensed his presence. She sensed he wasn't awake – or, even, his eyes weren't closed. Calculating things, she soon furrowed her eyebrows together. "Stop looking at me."
"I'm not looking at you." He said immediately. Too immediately. The girl opened her eyes and, unsurprisingly, she was met by his brown-orbed gaze. She found herself grinning uncontrollably.
"You're creepy." She observed. "Let me sleep."
"I'm not creepy, I'm just checking you're okay." He insisted, before adding as an afterthought: "You weren't even sleeping."
"I was going to… maybe." She replied, when a rather uncertain emotion invaded her facial expressions.
"Maybe?" He asked, unsure as to why the word was added to that sentence.
"I'm not that tired." Marley claimed, but was discontinued of her argument by a truth-telling yawn, triggering a smirk to form on Ryder's lips.
"Of course you aren't." He answered sarcastically.
"Okay, fine." She huffed. "I'm just… not in that position where I can sleep. D'you get that?"
"No. But I'll try to." He chuckled, sitting up. "So what do you feel like doing instead?"
"Uh… talking to you, I guess?" She suggested shyly. He smiled in response.
They talked for hours after that, occasionally lapsing into awkward silences when they had supposed that all topics had been exhausted of, but mostly, they just bonded. They bonded about anything and everything: food, friends, relationships (again), family, even slipping into the slightly more philosophical aspects of communication.
When they had lapsed into an even longer silence than the ones that had previously lurked between topics, and both people were tired, they decided to settle back down into the comforting pillow and mattress which cushioned them as they slept. Or, at least, attempted to sleep.
Marley lay up again, unnervingly rigid, eyes still open as she stared at the ceiling, a sigh drawing out from between her lips which caught the attention of Ryder.
He looked at her for a moment, before he sighed. "Marley."
Attention gained, and the brunette looked up at him. "Mhm?
He huffed once more, before questioning her. "Are you thinking that you're too uncomfortable to sleep in the same bed as some guy you just met?" He predicted, looking into the distance concernedly.
"What? No, no… I mean, I guess there's a bit of that, but… not totally. I'm mainly just thinking if I would have done something like this a year ago." She chuckled. "I was even worse at the whole 'trust' thing back then… I guess the reason I took this class was so I didn't lapse back into that person." She shrugged. "It was a weird time for me. Kind of a lonely time."
"Really?" The boy said concernedly – this had not been much of a previous issue when they were talking for hours, and it fascinated him greatly. "How come?"
The brunette girl shrugged. "I don't know, I was probably just homesick. And reverting back to some old stuff in the past."
"Like what?" The boy asked sincerely, completely caring for the girl in his bed, pleading internally that she felt comfortable enough to share things with him.
It was wishful thinking; Ryder knew she was concealing something when she brushed it off with another shrug and an "I don't know, stuff." She then decided to expand her reason for her previous loneliness. "And I wasn't really dating anyone, and all my friends had kind of moved to other people so… yeah. It was a weird time, like I said. But it's a bit better now."
"A bit better?" The chestnut-haired man chuckled, hoping she would expand. He prayed that she wasn't still lonely; still miserable.
Marley giggled. "Yeah. I mean, my family back in Bushwick are more active at talking to me whenever they can, and I found new friends and still meet with the older ones, and I'm dating, but… I haven't really had a long-term relationship for a while. Or long term friends. I'm still young, so it doesn't matter too much, but… next year, I'll be out of college and into the "real world"," she used air quotes on those two last words, "and I won't have the same easy connections with guys, or the friendships. I feel like I need to settle down with someone before I'm thrown in the deep end of adult life, you know?"
"I know." Ryder confirmed, nodding.
The cerulean eyed girl then plummeted her head in her hands with embarrassment as his reply shook her back to reality to realise that no, she wasn't talking about these things with a close friend. She was talking about these things with someone she had only just met. "God, I'm sorry." She chuckled. "I shouldn't have told you anything-"
"No, you should. The whole point of the exercise is that we trust each other, remember?" He pointed out, triggering the girl to tear her hands shyly from her face without even having to touch her.
"Yeah, but…" The brunette deflated, attempting (and failing) to grasp onto another matter. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
"I mean, I do trust you and everything."
"You do? Good."
"Good." And, just like that, the silence haunted them again. Marley blurted out something so that it didn't have to torment her anymore. "So, what about you?"
"What about me?" He chuckled.
"I mean, what were you like a year ago?"
Ryder sighed, looking upwards and into the distance. "A year ago…" he began, pondering over his words. "A year ago, I was untrusting. I was always on edge. I think… yeah, I'd just started going out with someone – the second girl to cheat on me in a row – and I was always anxious because of what had happened the last time. I'd only just let my guard down again, and I didn't want to get hurt again. You could say I was playing it safe." He nodded.
The brunette was just shocked that he was sharing so much, and she allowed herself a few seconds to compose herself, before asking: "When did this girl start cheating on you?"
"About six months after we got together." The boy practically recited. "I should have seen it coming, though," he added, "She seemed bored with me by that point."
Marley took the opportunity to joke at such a dense moment. "Ryder Lynn? Boring?"
He smirked. "I know, I ask myself that to this day."
Marley giggled along, then, when the thick air in the room had settled back to harmonise a moment where no other noises occupied the room, she spoke again. "Those girls cheating on you – that must've been hard."
"It was." Ryder nodded. "It completely knocked my state of mind. I was, like, this broken shell of a dude. I went days without moving from the couch and stayed in my pyjamas for whole days. That kind of thing."
Marley wrinkled her nose up in disgust. "Whole days without a change of clothes? Just, like, sitting in the same position? How the hell did you not die from starvation or something?"
"Oh, Sam got me food. We have the best bromance you've ever seen." He sneered at her, instigating a chuckle from the girl. Then, he realised something and, upon this realisation, he asked her something else: "Have you… never been cheated on?"
"Nope." Marley smacked her lips together to accentuate the 'p' in the word. "I've had humiliation, awkwardness… pretty much everything in the book apart from cheating. One of us usually breaks it off before that happens, and I have my three word rule to relationships."
"Ah, yes, of course you do." Ryder recalled. "So really, no cheating?"
"Luckily, no. No cheating." She established. "Now can we talk about something else? This is sounding more and more like I'm talking to a therapist."
"Sure." Ryder brushed the matter off. The room was, inevitably, paid another visit by silence, but before it could be too intrusive, the chestnut-haired boy turned to his friend (he no longer considered her a stranger) and looked at her. Even in the dark room, the rough outlines of her face and body looked stunning beyond relief. "I feel close to you."
His blurted out words made her turn towards him and, upon doing this, realise how close they were to each other. Strangely, she didn't mind. Shivering, before replying with a genuine "I feel close to you too", she practically whispered the words, her eyelids fluttering between her current daze and exhaustion, just looking at him. Her actions weren't panicked – they weren't anything but sincere, and before she knew it, he was stroking her cheek in the most glorious way as she blushed shyly and smiled in response, him towering over her ever so slightly as their faces grew closer in propinquity.
And then they were kissing.
The bundle of confusion – even anger – which existed as Marley's initial response soon subsided. She was transported for a few seconds, getting lost in the sentiment like a paperclip amongst barrels of hay, proving difficult to find her own senses; her own self. She would never have done something like this in her previous 22 years – it was foreign to her. A second kiss was initiated, longer than the first, with more passion (and lacking a thought process even further). It was in this kiss when the brunette's brain switched back into action and kicked at her skull, screaming at her to stop. Marley ignored the voices at first, but then, another point was raised: her demons. They would gnaw away at her constantly, and at this rate, they would gnaw away at him, too. Constant baggage, constant weights on their shoulders, hidden between silences and naiveties, tormenting the both of them to breaking point. No, it would hurt too much. No matter how much she wanted to love, it was too dangerous – the relationship's length wasn't even a factor. She would never deserve someone; she was in too deep to rise from her ashes. Nothing was a good enough excuse to drag someone else down with her.
Especially when that person was someone like Ryder.
It was this which alerted her to instigate a response, pulling away from his lips a few seconds after the third kiss commenced. "Ryder." She spoke with a quiver in her voice, sounding scared, and she was. She was petrified of infecting an innocent soul like his by introducing him into all of her problems – the problems she couldn't even talk about to anyone unless she was talking to one of her shrinks. She continued, the quiver still evident in her voice as she tried to remain eye contact with him – he seemed so dejected, so concerned. "You can't be with a girl like me, Ryder."
"Marley…" he started, only to be interrupted of his soothing tone as Marley took on a similar voice herself.
"No, it's true, I… I have too much for you to worry about; too many things that can't be fixed, and I'm not going to let that become a burden on someone as nice as you. You don't deserve that."
"But-" He tried to object again, but was robbed of this objection with only having said one word.
"Please, just hear me out: you'll feel guilty about wanting to break up with me, if we do go out. Because after a while you'll get tired of doting on me. And your guilt will overcome your desires, a-and then, you'll just be stuck in this relationship with no way out and you'll just feel-" Her voice was becoming more and more of a crescendo, so she simply took an exhale to compose herself, finishing her last sentence with that ever-present tremor in her voice: "You'll just feel trapped."
Ryder was silent for a moment, just contemplating every word she had said, and every expression that had gone along with it. Her eyes seem frantic, glossed over, her expression tense and frightened. He needed to know more before he let her go (something he was unwilling to do at the time). "When you talk about all this baggage… what is it, in particular?"
Marley bit her lip. "Just… body issues."
"Body issues?" He raised his eyebrows. "Mar, I can deal with body issues. I've grown up with three sisters, I've practically lived their body issues. You can't just throw away this connection we have over something as small as…"
Her nostrils fumed as he told his backstory. He didn't understand. She didn't want to say "body issues", she wanted to tell him the truth; what it really was: a disorder. But no, it was too petrifying to even think about – she had never told anyone. People had only ever found out from when they had seen it with their own eyes, and had told other people – the only reason she was well-acquainted with doctors and councillors was because it had often gone too far, and her mother had eventually found out and alerted them all. None of it was Marley telling anyone about it, unless she had to – and that was only with a therapist, who was charging her for every minute she had spent in those eerie rooms. Marley Rose often hated to talk about her feelings; her disorder; the darker spot of her life – that's why she was warning Ryder. She had shared too much with him, and it was time to back away. He couldn't get too attached, or they would both be hurt as a result.
"I trust you, Marley," she heard the boy say as she zoned back into his monologue. "And that says more than it has with the other girls I've dated in the past. I just hope that you can trust me-"
"I'm bulimic." the brunette yelled, not even comprehending her own words as she bellowed them loud enough to wake Sam up. Ryder physically paused in his actions. Marley physically panicked, because what she had just told him was such a revelation; such a contradiction to her thoughts merely a few seconds before. In seconds, she had torn herself from the comfort and warmth of the duvet and was attempting to run away - of course, she couldn't. The restraints were too strong. She tugged her hand away repeatedly, jolting Ryder's arm in the process as he sat up, surprised, hurting, confused more than anything he had ever experienced.
"Marley!" He yelled, trying desperately to pull her back into his arms. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I need to leave! I'm too deep into…" She trailed off, focusing on trying to gnaw herself free from the handcuffs. A few seconds passed, and she groaned loudly. "Ugh! These stupid, goddamn handcuffs are ruining me!" She gritted her teeth as she spoke, trying for a few more seconds to break free, to no use. She slumped her arm back down, stumbling timidly back onto Ryder's bed as he just looked at her. He wasn't angry, Marley didn't think. He was just confused.
"I'm sorry," she spoke into her lap. "I didn't mean to…"
"I know." He said simply, looking strangely vacant and calm as he looked at her. She looked up.
"I got scared." She tried to explain.
"I know." He repeated, beginning to smile.
"See, I told you that I was confusing…"
"You told me that you had too much baggage. And if that was an example of your "baggage", we survived. And I don't hate you. And I don't feel any less about you than I did five minutes ago when we were kissing."
Marley couldn't help but break character and grin for a few seconds at that comment. When she returned to her previous facial expression, she queried: "So, you aren't… creeped out? By my disorder, or…"
"The only thing that creeps me out is that someone as nice and pretty as you think you're not anything other than perfect. It's upsetting that you do this to yourself, and sure, maybe we've only just met today, but… I feel like I know you." The boy explained. "And I was a bit confused about you freaking out and trying to ditch the apartment in your pyjamas, but… it's understandable, considering everything that you've told me. You're in this position in the first place to find trust, right? Confidence of some sort?" Marley nodded at his suggestion. "So… you need to start somewhere. Besides, we're "compromising our demons", remember?" He smirked.
Marley now didn't bother replacing her grin with a dejected look as she hugged the boy best she could. He had to be a fantasy. "Thank you." She mumbled into his shoulder.
"You're welcome." He had replied into her hair.
Now, breaking apart from the hug, the two were once again in very close vicinity with one another. The girl contemplated kissing him again (even if only on the cheek), but soon decided against it in the end. She needed time. "I'll think about it." She said, no context revealing what she was implying.
Despite this, Ryder understood. "Okay." He smiled. "Night, Marley."
"Goodnight, Ryder."
They had woken up still exhausted, to no surprise. Arising from very few hours' sleep, the two groaned in unison as Ryder's sharp alarm clock shrieked at the pair tauntingly. They adapted their morning routines to the circumstances, both firmly opting to stay away from the shower and not look at the other person when they tried to change, greeting Sam with a polite "hello" when he finally arose from his slumber (which, he claimed, was "interrupted by your constant yapping"). When the two finally tore themselves from the comfort of the apartment and were brutally acquainted with the cold, they dragged their tired feet to the destination of the support group meeting, as talkative as they always had been.
"What a crazy twenty-four hours, huh?" Marley spoke in between silences, causing Ryder to chuckle.
"Yeah, it was insane, to say the least." He smirked at Marley, who playfully chastised his implications when he said: "I'd love to do it again sometime. Shall we say, tomorrow?"
"Alright, joking aside, I guess I had fun." She spoke sincerely, looking at their feet as they walked. "Maybe I'll see more of you then, Lynn?"
"Maybe." He smiled, although taken aback – Will Schuester was right, this exercise did bring in confidence.
"Alright, class. How are we feeling today?" The two walked in, realising they were slightly late at the sound of the rest of the class replying in both groans and excitement. "Ah, Marley and Ryder. Glad you're here."
"So am I, to be frank." Marley huffed, earning a playful jab in the arm from her friend. The two sat down in their seats from yesterday in Schuester's circle. He continued to blabber on about trust, self-esteem and all the rest of it, everyone's eyes growing weary and expectant – they had all craved the feeling of having their wrists to themselves again.
"Now: I want you all to be honest. Who felt like they had benefitted – in some way, shape or form – from this exercise?" Every arm in the class went up, including Marley and Ryder's, which stuck up in the air, straight and confident. Will laughed. "Excellent, just as I was expecting. Now: keep your hand up if, when I first told you all that you'd benefit from it, you thought that I was crazy?" Every hand stayed up, predictably. "Very good!" Schuester praised like the support group was made up of dogs and not human beings. "Would anyone like to share their thoughts?"
A few people kept their hand up, including Ryder's. Will came to him first.
"Thank you. I would just like to say that, personally, I feel like I know and trust Marley so much better than I thought I would. I can't wait to learn even more about her." He spoke confidently, and it could even have been perceived as mocking and scripted. Marley chuckled as Will moved on to the rest of the class. The brunette turned her head, and found Ryder – unsurprisingly – looking at her. Staring at her in the same position as he had almost twenty-four hours ago, in the same seat. She took her new-found confidence and ran with it, doing the unimaginable…
For the first time in a while, Marley Rose smiled back.
It was not long after when the unlocking ritual commenced. Will slowly took out a key that might as well have been a relic, and he slowly, teasingly made his way around the circle and unlocked everyone. When he came round to Marley and Ryder, he gave them a warm smile, before carefully sliding in the small, silver key, and turning it slowly until their cuffs popped open, allowing them the luxury of being able to slide their wrists out of the metal restraints, and having the freedom to finally move their arms and wrists without it having an impact on another person's actions. The brunette girl rubbed the smooth, pale skin of her wrist – something a lot of people seemed to be doing at that time, and grinned. It was a bittersweet, strange feeling, and when she looked up, she saw that Ryder was going through it too, lending her a knowing smile.
"Alright, I think that's it for today. Remember that next week everyone needs to bring a notepad… I think that's it. You're free to go, guys. Take care." Will Schuester spoke with the same amount of earnestness as he had a month ago. In this particular session, they were doing a trust exercise involving ropes, and then taking it in turns to speak with confidence around the circle.
Speaking with confidence was something that Ryder needed today.
He sheepishly paced over to her – she was, as per usual, helping by winding the ropes into a manageable size so they could then be put back into the cupboard for another day. She squatted on the floor, looking at the material as if it were an intricate poem, mesmerised every time she spun in around her hand. He didn't exactly jump at the opportunity to talk to her (he was nervous as hell at the time), so it came out as more of a nervous jitter.
"Marley, can I talk to you?" He murmured, blurting the words out awkwardly as he received her attention.
She looked up at him with her bright, cerulean eyes – ones that were shaped confusedly, or attentively at this point – before they warmed to his instantly. "Sure, what is it?" She smiled, using her knees to get herself back up to her normal height.
"Okay, so… okay. I've been wondering for a while – well, I don't know if you could call it a while, about a month I guess – anyway, I've been wondering if you wanted to- because you're a lovely girl and you're nice to me and we know each other well- this Saturday night, I don't know if you have plans, or what, but if you don't, that would be cool… I mean, if you do that would be cool as well, obviously, but, um…" he trailed off once more, Marley furrowing her eyebrows together and trying to decode his sentences. He scratched the back of his neck in anxiousness, before sighing. "This Saturday, if you wanted to, maybe we could-"
"I'd love to." Marley sensed his nerves and understood his drift, so confirmed the deal, reaching out and grasping one of his hands reassuringly as she looked at him happily, her eyes appearing even brighter, her face seeming even more radiant. Her confidence had considerably rocketed since last month, despite still being shakier than the average person. "Shall we say Breadstixx around seven?"
Ryder deflated happily, glad that she had accepted and was actually suggesting times and places to eat. "Sure." He said, more comfortably than before. "That sounds awesome."
Marley grinned, mumbling a small "good" before she finally let go of his hand (to both of their disappointment) and instead glanced at her watch. "Crap, I have to go. See you on Saturday, though. I'll text you." She assured him, before kissing his cheek softly, surprising them both. She just rolled with her impulses, grinning and blushing slightly as she brushed her frail fingers over her lips in the most adorable way. "See you, Ryder."
"Bye." He reciprocated joyfully, before squatting to the floor to retrieve the rope she had left behind, beginning to complete the work she had not finished on the material, gazing at the door she had walked out of a few seconds ago and contemplating her.
"Maybe getting handcuffed isn't so bad after all." He thought.
Woah, that was long. Sorry if you fell asleep. And sorry for any mistakes, it's the last day of term tomorrow and I'm finding that my attention span is very short, and I'm generally just exhausted xD
Thanks to Ember811 for suggesting this great 'Imagine Your OTP' from the tumblr blog itself. I loved writing this story, and I hope that you lot enjoyed it too!
-Beth :-)
