So I mentioned last chapter there would be a time lapse, I can't remember but I think it's like a week to something. I know it's very soon considering events but it's all going to make sense soon enough.

Chapter 7

I've survived four weeks carrying the searing, ripping pain in my heart. Today was the day it was going to do its worst. I was getting married today. Gerda sat beside me with my other ladies flocking about the room. My hair was pulled up, like my mother wore it when I was young. The dress was lifted from its mannequin and my ladies helped me into it. It was nothing special; not for marrying this man. If it were Jackson, I would have made the most magnificent dress for myself, but Jackson died. It was traditional Arendelle royalty clothing, not all that different to my Coronation dress last year.

"You're beautiful, Elsa." I smiled weakly at Gerda and touched her hand on my shoulder. Kai rapped sharply on the door. "Yes." He cracked the door open slightly.

"Whenever you're ready." I nodded in thanks and he left quietly.

"I understand how hurt you still are, but you just need to get through the day, and you can be away from everything for a while. I think it will help you heal some more." I looked at my reflection as Gerda picked at the imperfections in my dress and hair. "Come on." I took her hand and she led me from the room. I met Anna at the chapel doors, filling the hole that our late father left behind.

"Are you ready?" I nodded and took Anna's arm, balancing my white rose bouquet in the other arm. Kai nodded for the doormen to pull the doors open and the music floated out to us. The ceremony flew by and before I knew it, I was saying 'I do' and sliding Nikolai's ring onto his finger.

"You may now kiss the bride." I looked to Nikolai. This moment had not made its way to my attention yet. I leaned into Nikolai and pressed my lips to his. There was some kind of feeling there, but it was nothing compared to what I felt around Jackson. I moved back and turned to the onlookers as they cheered. Nikolai took my hand and I waved with the other as we left the chapel. We were loaded into a carriage the second we left the doors and sent to Arendelle's countryside.

"Elsa." I snapped out of my daydreams of nothing and focused on Nikolai's hand stretching out to me. He grabbed some of the luggage from the carriage and the driver brought in the rest. It was a small home with a modest service quarter for the driver and horses. No one else was with us. This time for most newlyweds would be spent much happier than ours.

"Nikolai." He put down the cases and turned to face me.

"What's wrong?" I looked up into his eyes, mustering as much ferocity as I could.

"I know this isn't the ideal marriage but I want to treat it as if it came about on its own, not because of politics. I know I can't just ignore what happened, but I want you to try." He nodded and I left him to arrange the cases how he saw fit. After changing into the extra dress packed into the top of one of my cases, I explored the small house. I found my way into the kitchen. Our driver came in through a side door.

"Your majesty, I was just coming to prepare dinner." I nodded, stepping out of his way.

"Thank you, what is your name?" He started to pull out ingredients and pans,

"Thomas." I nodded in thanks again,

"Thank you, Thomas." I left him to his work and found a sitting room not far from the dining room and took a place there.

"There you are." Nikolai sat next to me and let his arm rest behind my shoulders. To both our surprise, I leaned into his side, resting my head on his chest. "Are you okay?" I nodded slightly.

"It won't stop hurting, but if I let myself dwell on him like I want to, I'll never be able to wake up in the morning." He pulled me closer and let me sit there, soaking him in a little, until Thomas called us to the dining room.

"Thank you, Thomas. It's fantastic." Thomas smiled, bowed and turned to leave with Nikolai's praise on his shoulders.

"Thomas, please sit and eat with us." He turned back to us and Nikolai turned to look at me. Clearly the Southern Isles idea of kindness to the lower classes isn't the same as Arendelle's.

"Thank you for your offer, your majesty, but I think I'll feel more comfortable in my own quarters." I nodded in understanding and he left. Leaving me alone with Nikolai. I wasn't about to start a conversation, and I could see that neither was he. The silence wasn't awkward though. In the last few weeks since the announcement and the parties we've been forced into spending more time together. I've grown to find things about Nikolai that were similar qualities in Jackson. I've been holding onto those in the hopes I could maybe learn to love him in some way.

The quiet continued even when we finished and I helped Thomas by taking our plates and dishes into the kitchen. I walked into the sitting room and found Nikolai with his nose in a book. I sat next to him and rested my head on his shoulder, reading the pages along with him. It was an unspoken knowledge that tonight was supposed to be our consecration, but I knew Nikolai wasn't going to make any moves until I did. When he finished the book, Nikolai got up and went to bed. I followed after him, turning into the spare bathroom on the way.

I stood in the middle of the room for a while. I looked at my reflection in the glass around me. If I wanted this marriage to be anything resembling a real relationship, tonight had to be used for its intended purpose. I undressed and left my clothes in the bathroom. Stepping back out into the hall, I turned toward the master bedroom. The candles were already out and Nikolai was in bed. I climbed into the other side of the bed and lay there for a moment. Before Nikolai had the chance to fall asleep, I turned to face his back.

"Nikolai." I called quietly. He rolled over and noticed there was nothing but the sheet covering me.

"Elsa, what are you doing?" I shuffled closer and pressed myself into him, my lips to his, my body to his. He didn't resist, but I could tell there was some lingering hesitation. Nikolai pulled away. "Elsa, you know we don't have to. Not now." I ignored his reassurances and kissed him again. It wasn't the same as when I was with Jackson, but there was something there that I could call a spark.

I could feel that Nikolai was wearing nothing more than an undershirt and his undergarments. Breaking the kiss for a moment, I pulled his undershirt off over his head. Nikolai stopped again. "Elsa, I know that you don't want this." I pressed myself to him again.

"You need to stop holding me back." I mumbled. I could tell Nikolai stopped trying to make me back down. He pressed into me a little and ran a hand through my hair, holding his other to my back. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled myself closer. Nikolai moved his lips to my cheeks, running them with a trail of kisses down my neck, my collarbone, my chest, and my breasts. I closed my eyes and soaked the feeling in. Nikolai brought his mouth back to mine for a moment before I slid down to pull down his undergarments. His manhood revealed itself with the removal of the undergarment and I stopped in my tracks before returning to kissing Nikolai.

"Elsa." He gave one last pause, but by this point I could see he wasn't in the mood to stop anyway. I threw myself into kissing him and I felt him reach down to feel my opening. He slid a finger in and I breathed in. He danced his fingers around down there and I couldn't hold back my moan. I remembered when I was with Jackson. No, don't think of him now. Not now.

Nikolai's hand retreated and I felt his member poise and enter. I removed myself from his lips for a second to adjust, gasping as I broke contact. When I was ready I returned my attentions to Nikolai's neck. It didn't feel nearly as momentous as being with Jackson did, but it still brought similar feelings that I couldn't ignore felt good to me.

I clung to Nikolai all night, barely sleeping. He let me and wrapped his arms around me. I was mixed in a tornado of wanting to cry but also wanting to forget why I wanted to cry. Lonely tears found their way down my cheeks.

A/N

So I'm going to go study for exams now yay (kill me)