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Chapter VII
"That is never going to happen." Kahlan had immediately released her friend's hand when she had revealed her "plan".
"Kahlan," Cara found it increasingly difficult to speak, her body begging for rest, "listen-"
"No!" Kahlan cried as she stood. Wrapping her arms tightly around herself, Kahlan began to pace. "How dare you ask me to do that?! After months of you convincing me that you could do this- that you could win!"
"Things have changed." Cara once again opened her mouth only to be interrupted by the fuming Confessor.
"I'm not killing you. That's never going to change." Kahlan resolved. "I'll kill all six of them myself if I have to but-"
"No." Cara swallowed hard as the force of the word shot another bout of pain straight through her. She saw the concern in Kahlan's eyes but the brunette turned away and resumed her pacing.
"I don't care that they're your sisters, Cara." Kahlan told her. "I'd kill them each a hundred times over it meant setting us free."
"You can't." Cara insisted. As she saw Kahlan's face redden, she tried to explain with as few words as possible. "They'd stop you."
"They'd try." The anger in Kahlan's voice was unmistakable. "Cara, I don't accept any plan that doesn't end with both of us walking out of this place. Do you understand?"
"Kahlan," the way she said her name made the woman stop in her tracks, "that's not possible anymore."
"And why is that?" The Confessor took in her friend's defeated look. Behind the pain, however, there was something else. "What do you know?" Cara hesitated, unsure as to whether or not she truly needed to know. "Cara, tell me." Kahlan was becoming increasingly more upset as her silence persisted. "Cara!"
"He's going to make me train you." Kahlan struggled to take in the information almost as much as Cara struggled to say it. "He's going to make me torture and break and destroy everything that you are so he can have you along with his revenge. Is that what you wanted to hear, Kahlan?" Slowly, Kahlan made her way back to Cara's side.
"But-but you said I couldn't be broken." She recalled Cara's giddy revelation all those months ago. The same woman who had laughed after being tortured continuously for days now lay before her in tears at the mere thought of hurting her.
"Not by them- by strangers." Cara explained, closing her eyes momentarily. "But I know you, Kahlan. I know your doubts, your insecurities, your fears. I can do it, Kahlan."
"But you wouldn't." Kahlan insisted, her own fear beginning to come to the surface. "You won't."
"I don't know what I'll do!" Cara cried. "I couldn't even remember who you were or why you were important to me until a second ago. Kahlan," Cara could feel the tears streaking down her cheeks in spades now, "I'm losing myself."
"No." Kahlan shook her head, remembering when Richard had told her the same thing during his time with Denna. A sob escaped her lips as she gently took the Mord'Sith's face into her hands. Wiping away her tears, Kahlan tried hard to force the image of Cara standing over her, Agiel in hand, out of her head. "Don't say that."
"It's the truth." Cara lowered her gaze. "So please Kahlan, confess me before I do something unforgiveable."
"I can't. I can't kill you, Cara." Kahlan shook her head, dropping her head so Cara wouldn't see the multitude of tears. The blonde surprised her by taking up her hands. Cara squeezed them as hard as she could, offering the Confessor a smile.
"Don't think of it like that." She told her. "You'd be setting me free."
"You can be free without dying." Kahlan pressed, shaking her head as cried.
"We both know that's unlikely." Cara sighed, her eyes beginning to close. "Please Kahlan, I don't want to hurt you."
"And I don't want to hurt you. That's the whole point!" Kahlan sobbed. "I know what everyone here thinks of me: that I consider myself superior and that my life is worth more than others. That's not true, Cara. If living means trading your life for mine then I don't want that."
"I know." Cara frowned. "But it's not just you you have to be concerned about. The Midlands needs you. So does Richard."
"No, no, they don't." Kahlan refused. "They'll find another Confessor and Richard was perfectly fine before I came along."
"I may not have magic," Cara breathed, "but even I know you're lying. Please, just help me." The plea broke whatever was left of Kahlan's heart. She couldn't imagine how much pain Cara had to be in to literally beg for death. Head hung, shoulders shaking, Kahlan continued to sob.
"Don't make me do this." Kahlan went to release Cara's hands but the blonde wouldn't let her, pulling her closer instead.
"You know what he'll do." She reminded her. "To both of us. I'm asking you to spare both of us that fate." Cara was already using Kahlan's fears against her and the move did not go unnoticed. As Kahlan's breath caught in her throat, she realized just how effective Cara would be as her torturer. She looked up, meeting Cara's determined gaze, and knew that the blonde wouldn't stop until she got what she wanted.
"But you're my family." Kahlan tried to reason with her. She knew there was no point. Regardless of her attempt to delay the inevitable, Cara smiled at her.
"And that's how I know you'll do the right thing." The attempt backfired and Kahlan was quick to resume sobbing, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around her friend. Despite the pain, Cara accepted the embrace knowing that it would be her last. She stroked the back of the Mother Confessor's head as they both cried, one in fear the other in relief. Kahlan's trembling only increased as the seconds went by, knowing that Cara would soon pull away.
"I love you, Cara." Kahlan cried against her ear. The Mord'Sith had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from breaking down.
"I love you too, Kahlan." She said as Kahlan cried harder. "Don't be afraid. They can't hurt you and Richard will find you. I know he will."
"He'll come soon." Kahlan insisted. "Please Cara, just a few more days. Please."
"We can't risk it." Cara said simply. "It's alright, Kahlan. Everything's going to be alright." As Cara began to pull away, Kahlan panicked, pulling the Mord'Sith tighter against her. Cara's gasp of pain was the only thing that made her let go.
"Please, don't leave me." Kahlan beseeched her friend. Cara shook her head slowly, offering her one last smile.
"I won't. Ever." Grasping her meaning, Kahlan froze. Was she really about to do this? Was killing Cara truly the only way they could be free? Cara took Kahlan's hand in hers once again, squeezing it as she nodded to the Confessor. "It's alright. Don't be afraid." Kahlan continued to cry, trying one last time to free her hand from the blonde's grip and failing. She looked up through teary lashes and took in the calm expression on her friend's face. Don't be afraid. Cara wasn't afraid to die. In fact, she was at peace with it. Composing herself, Kahlan took a deep breath. She didn't want the last thing Cara saw in this life to be a sobbing mess. Mustering up a fraction of the strength Cara was exhibiting, Kahlan squeezed the hand back, slowly beginning to release the constant hold she had over her magic. Almost at once, the air around them fizzled with it. The very air in the room changed as the Confessor kept her eyes trained on her friend's, waiting for them to turn into that empty black she had grown so familiar with. A voice behind them called something out but neither woman paid it any mind. Just as Kahlan felt her magic begin to leave her, she felt a pair of hands grab her from behind. She imagined her power leaving her and entering someone else a lot like she imagined lightning striking a tree. It crackled and traveled, eventually reaching its desired target and retracting back into the sky…except this time, it hit the wrong tree. Kahlan found herself hurling backwards, the tight hold she had had on Cara's hands suddenly gone. Instead, she felt her magic pour into whoever it was that had yanked her away. As the air returned to normal and the soundless thunder clapped, Kahlan's weakened body struggled to understand the turn of events.
"Mistress!" the cry was quickly followed by the same pair of hands now helping her sit up straight. Kahlan's vision momentarily failed her and she couldn't tell which Mord'Sith she had confessed. Please, don't let it be Ava. As she blinked, she took in the sight before her. Cara remained in the same position, frozen in shock. Lauren and another Mord'Sith were standing at the door, alerted by the cry from their sister. Mistress Sehra was kneeling beside her, a look of concern and indescribable love in her eyes as she looked down at her new mistress. Kahlan opened her mouth to say something- anything- but the look on Sehra's face caused her to pause. In an instant, the love in her eyes had contorted into unfathomable pain and the woman was on the floor immediately. A bloodcurdling scream left her lips, shocking everyone in the room as Sehra writhed in agony. Kahlan was quick to take the woman into her arms, her screams undoubtedly embedded in the Confessor's mind forever.
"I'm sorry." She found herself telling the woman as she died. "I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry." Blood pooled on the ground from Sehra's mouth, eyes, and nose.
"Don't be sorry, Mistress." She gritted through the pain. "I'm glad you confessed me." Curling into her mistress' embrace, Sehra let out one last cry before finally, she stopped. All four women remained frozen. Before long, Dahlia, Rahl, and Ava appeared, each having heard the screams from separate parts of the temple. The Mord'Sith parted, allowing their Lord Rahl to step inside and take in the scene for himself. Kahlan had a hand pressed against the back of Sehra's head, holding the woman to her chest as silent tears streaked down her face. So many emotions were running through the Confessor at once- horror at what she was capable of doing, fear of Rahl's repercussions, relief that Cara had not been the one to endure what she had witnessed. All these left her in a state of awe, almost unaware of all the eyes on her.
"It was-" she tried to explain. "I didn't…I didn't mean to." Slowly, Kahlan eased Sehra onto the ground. She swallowed hard at the expression of pain permanently etched on the woman's face and placed a hand over her own mouth to stifle the sound that threatened to escape. She didn't love the Mord'Sith. She didn't even know her. But being the cause of that much pain made Kahlan want to crawl into the Underworld itself. That woman had endured so much under Rahl's rule but nothing would ever compare to the pain she had felt at Kahlan's hand.
"You were going to do that," Lauren approached, kneeling down and closing her sister's eyes for the last time, "to her?" She tossed her head towards Cara before letting out a scoff. "Some family." The validity of her statement made Kahlan cringe. You almost killed Cara. As Lauren and the fourth, unnamed Mord'Sith picked up Sehra's corpse and carried her out, Kahlan could hear Rahl's footsteps as he approached her. She closed her eyes, praying that whatever Rahl was going to do, he would do to her and not Cara. The man reached down and took hold of Kahlan's rag. Hoisting her up as easily as he would a doll, he took in the lost expression on her face.
"Now who's the bad guy?" The rhetorical question accompanied by the nasty grin on his lips only worsened how Kahlan felt. Bile rose up and burned her throat as the Confessor dropped to her knees and emptied the contents of her already empty stomach. She could barely hear Rahl's laughter as he walked away, slamming the door behind him.
