But you'd have to walk a thousand miles

In my shoes, just to see

What's like to be me

I'll be you, let's trade shoes

Just to see what it'd be like

To feel your pain, you feel mine

Go inside each others' minds

Just to see what we'd find

Look at shit through each others eyes

-Beautiful by Eminem

Jasper POV

The phone call from my sister was mildly upsetting, but she did care a valid point in what she told me. Alice was currently downstairs calling her mom meaning today she also planned on seeing Rosalie. I would have been lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous for Alice. Recalling the last conversation I had with her I tried to think of ways to defuse my very hormonal twin.

"Hello?" I knew it was Rose calling me and I tried not to sound like as complete dick when I answered.

"Jasper? Where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick about you, Bella said she told you about Alice." Her voice was strained with stress and I automatically kicked myself when I thought about what I was putting her through.

"I'm sorry I haven't called, I've...I've just been dealing with some things." I wasn't lying but I wasn't telling her everything either.

"Are you in Seattle?" She accused more then she asked me.

"Yeah, I'm at Alice's place." Well our place now.

"Why? Jazz, are you forgetting the last five months?" She spoke louder.

"No, Rose, I haven't but this isn't really any of your business." I tried to keep my voice down remembering Alice was just down the hall in her office but I knew I was still loud.

"She left all of us Jasper, this isn't just about you two anymore, damn it you know I don't need this right now!" I could hear her voice breaking and what I was sure were tears falling on the phone. "I can't watch you sink any farther, you're just setting yourself up to get hurt again Jazz and I'm not sure you will survive it a second time."

"Rose, all I have to say is you don't really have to worry about that anymore, but I really can't say anything else right now."

"Why?" She did deserve an answer but our secret was big and it had the chance of being a ticking time bomb.

"It's...It's just not my place to tell you, Alice has to do that."

"Yeah, right. Why would she say anything she just runs away from shit now." She snorted. "Are you sure you're ok Jasper?" Worry still clearly in her voice.

"Yeah, I promise Rose, a lot of things are going to be different from now on and for the better I swear. But look I got to go right now, I'll call you in a couple days ok?" I wanted this conversation done in case Alice came out. She was already nervous enough to talk to Rose I didn't want her to feel discouraged.

"Please Jasper, just remember my condition, I hate to say it but you have been the most stressful part of my life lately and I love you so I've kept quiet, but right now I need to worry about my unborn children, they need me to be strong." She was starting to cry again. "I don't want to but if you can't pull it together Jazz I can't have you around until I know my babies are safe."

"I swear on my life it will never come to that Rose." I reassured her.

"It better not, I want my kids to know their uncle." She sounded more stern but that was Rose, jumping from one emotion to the next. "So you'll call me?" It seemed like she wanted to finish this up as much as I did.

"Yeah, I love you Rose, and tell Emmett to kiss your belly for me." I had never said that to her before but now that I knew what the attachment felt like it didn't seem so weird to me. It was something I had watched Em do many times.

"I will, just be careful ok? I love you too."

"Talk to you soon." I hung up the phone and waited for a minute in case Alice had heard. When there still wasn't any noise coming from the hall after a few minutes I figured I was in the clear and settled back into the couch.

I knew Alice's confrontation with Rosalie had the potential to go bad and I didn't want to see that happen. I just hoped I was overreacting and worrying too much, but that remained to be seen. Either way I wished I could trade shoes with her so she didn't have to go through this, but my pain was a disaster as well and I wouldn't wish that on her or anyone for that matter.

Alice had been downstairs for almost a half hour and I was thinking about going and looking for her but she knew where I was if she needed me so I decided to stay put. A few minutes later I heard soft footsteps in the hall and Alice appeared in the doorway her cheeks stained with old tears.

"Hey, how did everything go?" I sat up and leaned back against the headboard.

"Better than I thought." She walked over and climbed in bed next to me snuggling into my chest.

"So why are you crying if it went well?" Maybe it was hormones but maybe not and I wanted to know.

"Because I shouldn't have had to make that call in the first place. She's my mother, I should be able to tell her anything."

I felt a couple warm tears fall to my chest and I looked down at her to wipe the rest off her face.

"You made a mistake, it happens, and like you said she's your mother, she'll forgive you, hell I'd be surprised if Esme even got mad at all."

"That's what I'm worried about, I think she's going to be hurt more then angry and I honesty don't know which is worse."

"Well that's why I'll be there to support you. You need to remember Alice, I'm going to stand by you no matter what."

"I know, and don't feel bad but it really doesn't make me feel any better right now." She looked at me with her big gray eyes and they didn't look quite as sad as before but still hurt.

"I didn't think you would." I smiled knowing that Alice was very independent and she didn't like to rely on someone else if she could help it.

"We're meeting her for an early dinner at four o' clock in Port Angeles."

"Sounds good to me." I turned on my side to look at her face closely. "And I think I know a way to cheer you up a little." I smiled at the plan that had just struck me.

"What's that?" She didn't seem like she had caught on and that made it that much better.

"Well, you were complaining about not having anything to wear, so I say we go do some shopping, find you something for tonight what do you say?" I was hoping she wasn't so depressed that she would pass up a trip to the mall.

"Shopping?" She seemed to be thinking it over for a minute. "I guess it could be fun if I let it. It can be difficult to find something that doesn't make me look like a tent." She bashed on herself.

"I can tell you right now it doesn't matter what you wear, you will always look beautiful to me, and I'll still feel the same when you get bigger and can barely move. Actually Rosalie keeps getting prettier the bigger she gets."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She gave me her signature response. "Fine, I'll go shopping." She didn't sound as excited as she usually did.

"Don't hurt yourself in your fit of joy there." I teased.

"I don't know, I'm not sure I can control myself." She giggled back.

I was happy she was joking with me, it meant she wasn't letting the pending afternoon completely consume her every thought.

"We'll then lets get out of this bed and get moving." I figured she needed a little push so I got up first and retrieved a fresh pair of boxers out of the bag that sat next to her dresser before digging for clean clothes. She slowly got up and went to her walk in closet with her shoulders slumped.

"So I'm thinking when we go to Em and Rose's I'll grab a few things from the loft, I'm on my last change of clean clothes anyway." I hadn't planned on being here this long, I wanted to get her back but I didn't get my hopes too high thinking in reality I would probably only get some closure.

"Ok, I'll make some space for you in here and give you a few drawers, but I have to warn you my wardrobe is much large then it use to be." She said lost in the closet still. "One of the best things about being a personal shopper was getting clothes Michelle didn't wear anymore, and she only wore things once." She poked her head out and had a smile on her face. "Plus, having money to buy clothes whenever is great too." She had disappeared again "Ok, I look ridiculous." She came back out in a pair of black yoga pants and a large pink hoodie.

"No you don't, you look very cute." I tried reassuring her while she struggled to twist her foot into a tennis shoe. "Do you need some help there?" She stopped moving her foot no farther in the white shoe.

"Maybe." She sounded defeated as she sat on the edge of the bed with the other one in hand. "I only have problems with these because they are a little tight and now I can't reach down very far."

I knelt in front of her and held the shoe in place for her to push her foot in and repeated the process with the other one, I also tied them for her.

"There you go." I patted the top of her foot and smiled before standing back up.

"Thanks, I'm sure this won't be the first time you'll have to do this for me." She didn't sound happy about it.

"Ali, I know you are an independent woman and it's hard for you to ask for help sometimes, but it's just me. I know you are strong just remember everyone needs help once in a while." I sat next to her on the bed and held her hand.

"I know, it's funny though, I never got use to being alone when I left. I cried myself to sleep for months, I was kinda pulling it back together about six weeks ago I think."

This was news to me, I mean I knew it was hard for her to do what she did but I thought that it was what she wanted in a way, I didn't expect it to hurt her as much as it did and it killed me more thinking about it that way.

"Well neither of us have to worry about that anymore. We're together again and that's not going to change," I was sure of that on my part. I had no plans on ever letting her go again. "Are you ready to go now?"

"I guess, I just feel really fat." She wallowed in her growing size.

"Alice, you're pregnant it's not like you are like this just because, you can't help it, and don't let anyone every tell you that you don't look beautiful this way and don't let yourself tell you that either." It was already getting a little old listening to her piss and moan about her stomach. I knew it was what woman did, Bella did it, lord knows Rose is still doing it but I promised Alice she could whine anytime she wanted, I guess she was taking full advantage of it. "Come on you love shopping, it will get your mind off things for a bit." I got up still hanging on to her hand.

"Kay let's go." She struggled to get up a bit so I helper her pulled her into my chest when she was finally standing. I wrapped my arms around her back and gently rocked us from side to side. She rested her head on my chest and let out a big sigh.

"Everything's going to be ok, I promise." I kissed her hair before resting my cheek on her head.

"I just can't get past this pending doom, it's there clawing it's way to the front of my mind every time I think I forget it and it starts all over again."

"Ali, baby, you need to just relax, all this stress can't be good for the baby, try to think about it that way."

"Ok, but I'm not making any promises on this one until it's all said and done." A smile finally crossed her face.

"Let's go have some fun." I pulled her out of our room. Wow, our room, it hasn't been like in too long.

The first store we stopped at in the mall was one dedicated to maternity cloths call Motherhood, it had a few cute things that caught Alice's eye and we spent a half hour trying things on only to walk out with one pair of jeans and a bright pink shirt with ruffles on it. She thought it made her look like a neon sign saying 'hey she's pregnant everyone, look at her'. But I thought it was incredibly sexy on her, it accented her visible bump which was very cute on it's own.

And while yes, I did say I didn't want kids I found my mind did a 180 when I found out I was going to be a father myself, it bothered me that I had no clue on what to expect or what to do. I didn't have the greatest relationship with my own father so I didn't really what to talk to him about it and while I loved my mother deeply I didn't feel comfortable discussing it with her, it felt like something I needed to talk to a guy about. Emmett was only a few weeks ahead of me now so that really only left Edward. Granted I was closer to Emmett and I would have rather it been him I had to talk to but Edward wasn't a bad guy and he was a good listener, hell he even had some good advice at times. If he hadn't been so deep into his music I would have pegged him to be a psychiatrist, and I knew what I told him would stay between us and especially never let it get back to Alice, he loved his sister too much to tell her what was bothering me if it pulled the risk of her getting her feelings hurt. Guess I should go have coffee with him or something when this is all in the open.

"So where to next?" I asked, I didn't know much about Seattle seeing as how I had only visited the giant city about five times in my entire life, and I sure as hell didn't know where any maternity stores were.

"There's a place called Hush Baby, Michelle told me they had some cute clothes, but it's closer to Redmond." She seemed a little happier after she made purchases.

"That's fine, we've got roughly five hours until we have to leave so, time isn't really of the essence right now."

"Really? Ok, lets go, do you want me to drive or can I give you directions again?" We also had to do few turn a rounds on our way here but seeing as how it was late morning and I could see my surroundings better it wasn't so bad.

"I take it it's farther away then the restaurant last night?" That had to be why she was asking.

"Yes, by like thirty minutes." She clarified.

"Then you drive." I handed her the keys to the jeep and we headed back to the parking lot.

There wasn't much traffic seeing as how it was Saturday but there was still a lot of people out doing whatever, so some streets were worse then others but got better once we hit the highway.

It was quiet so I fiddled with the radio before settling on a mixed CD I put together after Alice bailed. I figured she shared a few songs with me that explained how she felt so I thought it was my turn. I skipped ahead to track six which was Beautiful by Eminem. Something about it caused me to relate to it some.

Lately I've been hard to reach

I've been on my own too long

Everybody has their private world

Where they can be alone

That's the truth right there. I looked over at Alice who was just staring at the road and tapping her thumb on the wheel in sync with the beat. I let the silence continue for a bit and just listened to the familiar lyrics of the rap song.

I took my bruises took my lumps

Fell down and got right back up

But I need that spark to get psyched back up

"Alice?" I interrupted the song.

"Hmm?" She turned her head to look at me for seconded.

"I didn't tell you everything Rose said to me when she called." I confessed, I didn't want to upset her more but maybe if she was better prepared it wouldn't feel like hitting a brick wall.

"What do you mean? What did she say?" She looked confused and worried at the same time.

"She might have a grudge that she's holding." I informed her. "Actually I'm pretty sure she does, but she doesn't know about the baby or what's really going on right now just that she didn't have to worry about me being unhappy anymore, and I told her she had to talk to you about it." I looked over at her and she was speechless with her mouth hanging open slightly.

"Um...well that doesn't really help I don't think?" She seemed unsure of her feelings when she broke the silence.

"I'm sorry I thought knowing would make it easier." I could really kick myself right now.

"I guess I shouldn't be too shocked, I do know Rose after all. Grudges are something she specializes in." She had now regained her composure but I knew it was a mask.

"Doesn't mean it hurts any less when it's against yourself." I knew from experience how my sister was.

"No...it doesn't."

We turned into a large parking lot in front of several shops lines up in a row. The one Alice had mentioned before was in the center and the largest of them all. She parked the car and shut if off but didn't move from the seat or show any sign of doing so.

"Are you ok babe" I put my hand on her thigh breaking her staring contest with the windshield.

"Yeah, as good as can be I guess. Come on, who knows how long this place will take and I still have to shower. There's a men's store a few over, do you need to get something for tonight?" She had grabbed her purse and got out now waiting for me at the hood of the car.

"Do you think Esme's going to care if I wear a worn out Metallica t-shirt?" I had know Alice's mom just as long as Alice she didn't care about petty things like attire, she thought it expressed ones personality and she was all about that. I had to admit Esme was cooler then my own mother, but she wasn't a softie by any means, all three of her children had been grounded their fair share of times growing up.

"No, but I will seeing as how we are telling her we're pregnant." She had a smile on her face, and while it was at my expense I was just glad it was there.

"Fine, I will be your life sized Ken doll for tonight." I surrendered, and she bounced on the balls of her feet the best she could with happiness. "But speak of this to no one, and it can't be obvious that you did it, you know what I like still right?" I had stopped us in front of the maternity store and pointed a finger at her but her smile still remained.

"Yes and I cross my heart." She used her free hand to gesture her statement before opening the door to the baby and mommy themed store.

"Hi, welcome to Hush Baby my name is Tanya, is there anything I can help you with today." A woman with curly strawberry blonde hair asked us with a smile that was too big if you ask me.

"Well clearly I'm pregnant, and I've started to out grow my clothes in case you can't tell, I swear I rarely leave the house in sweats." Alice complained to the woman like she was a long time friend.

"It's true, she's very fussy about what she wears, so don't say I didn't warn you." I cautioned Tanya.

"That's what I'm here for, why don't we go ahead and get started," Tanya placed her hand on Alice's back and guided her towards the back of the store and I followed behind. "Daddy you can have a seat right over there in our guy's room. There's a TV and some magazines as well as a couple other dads to talk to in there." She pointed to an area with four black leather couches with three guys sitting talk to each other.

"You ok if I go over there?" I asked Alice, I was here for her and if that meant she wanted me next her the whole time that was what I was going to do.

"No go ahead baby, I think Tanya here is up for the job." Tanya gave me a smile and nod in agreement.

"Ok, if you need anything." I gave her a kiss before I headed for every man's favorite escape during a shopping spree.

I sat down on a couch by myself and the others looked over at me.

"Hey what's up." I asked all of them at once.

"So you got a little one coming too?" One of them asked me.

"I wouldn't be here otherwise that's for sure." I made them all laugh.

"I'm Paul, this here is Garrett, and Sam." The one who had spoken before told me.

"Hi, I'm Jasper."

"So Jasper, when's yours due?" The guy named Sam wondered.

"Uh June 30th." I was looking forward to that day but I fear it just as much.

"Would this be your first pregnant shopping trip?" Garrett finally spoke.

"Yes." It seemed like an odd question if you asked me but it was small talk after all.

"Dude, just you wait, it gets worse. At first they love the shopping and it makes going tolerable, but then it gets really ugly. They start getting angry about everything they try on and blame you for them getting so big and throw things at you. That's why I take her here, because those women back there can deal with all Rachael's bullshit while I watch ESPN." Paul enlightened me.

"My twin sister is about six weeks ahead of Alice so I think this may be the only one I have to attend with her. I told her I'd decorate the baby's room for her and she works all the time, making that fairly painless too."

"You are one lucky bastard." Garrett just shook his head in disbelieve.

"I take it all three of you have done this before?" I concluded.

"This is my second, Garrett's on number four, and Paul is waiting on his first. How about you?" Sam inquired.

"My first too, and to tell you the truth I only found out a few days ago."

"She hid it from you that long?" Paul looked like he couldn't understand how that could be and I agreed, any guy who didn't notice after five months was one dumb fucker.

"No, she um...she left me when she found out. I had told her in the past I didn't want kids and we weren't getting along anymore, so she never told me, she just left without a word about anything. I hunted her down to try to get her back and saw her bump, at first I thought I wasn't mine but she said it was and that she still loved me. She just thought she was giving me what I wanted which was the farthest thing from the truth. I love that woman with every fiber of my being." I couldn't believe I was spilling my story to a bunch of strangers, it was so unlike me but I hadn't been able to talk to anyone about it yet and chances were I'd never see any of them again so it wouldn't come back to haunt me later.

"That's messed up." Paul told me.

"You're tell me." I laughed at the thought of it all.

As time passed Sam and Paul finally got to go, leaving me and Garrett by ourselves.

"Are you nervous?" He sounded casual about it.

"A bit yeah." I replied. "I never thought I would be a dad before."

"I didn't either, but after my daughter arrived I fell in love with it. I kinda had hopes of having a boy this time around but as it turns out I'm having another daughter and we are done after this, four is more then enough. Do you know what you're having yet?"

"No, Alice wants to be surprised."

"Well I'll give you some advice in case you have a girl. It's easier to agree with them on their drama then protest it will only prolong the crying. Leave the whole birds and bees conversation to her mom and keep the remarks on boyfriends to a minimum, chance are they will quit tell you what's going on if they think all you are going to do is criticize them. But that's just me." He seemed to have valid points and I told myself not to forget this chat we were having.

"Thanks, I still don't have a clue what I'm doing." I confessed some more of my thoughts.

"Try reading The Expectant Father it helped me tremendously." He said as he stood up when his wife walked over to him. "It was nice talking to you Jasper, and I'm sure you will do fine." He waved at me before grabbing the things from the woman.

"Thanks, and congratulations." I was buying that book the first chance I had.

It was about another 20 minutes when Alice came out with a lot more things then the last store.

"Wow, guess you picked the right place huh?" I took her clothes to be purchased from her.

"Yep, and plus I had to have options for tonight, and now I do and then some." She walked up to the register and I trailed behind kinda proud of myself for making her happy at least for a little while, who knew what the rest of the day would hold. But I would be there for her just like I had told her.