Distribution:
If you had permission to take any of my other stories, you can use
this one as well. Just let me know where it's going. Others, just ask
and I will most likely give permission.
Feedback: It's kinda like
my blood (or my caffeine, LOL)-- a necessity if you want me to stay
alive and write more. Plus it's just the polite thing to do.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss, the WB, Mutant Enemy,
(the evil)FOX, and whoever else came up with them. If they belonged
to me the show would be drastically different. Please don't sue,
believe me it's not worth it. "The Heart Is Slow To Learn"
is by Andrew Lloyd Webber, Tim Rice (I think), and whoever else is
associated with them. The TV program Buffy catches part of is ALW's
50th Anniversary Celebration.
Rating: Same as the TV
show
Spoilers: Set after the third season episode "Revelations."
Small spoilers for that episode, nothing else after that has
happened.
Concept: Buffy's alone in her room the night after this
episode ends. The gang's out at the Bronze, but Buffy doesn't feel
like going, plus they're still really not super-happy with what she
did and all. She's flipping channels on the TV, and guess what she
finds? Oh, and of course, Angel shows up at her window.
Author's
Notes: This one is a fairly new one for me, it's a major songfic.
I've had fics where I have songs in them, but never a short story
where the song was so major. It's another fairly fluffy one, which
is good because those seem to go over well.
Dedication: I almost never dedicate my fics, but this one is for uskohakuchan and BlackBAngel, both of whom have reviewed all the previous parts and loved them. Thanks so much to the two of you, you're what is keeping these parts coming out so fast.
There's Only Youby Lady Callista
"Is there nothing on?" Buffy asked the TV in anger. She'd been flipping channels for almost an hour, back and forth, really not paying attention anyway. Her mind was too busy with things, mostly Angel.
She suddenly dropped the remote. As she bent over to pick it up, she heard the music begin for a song she had never heard before.
She looked up and saw a woman in a beautiful dress, alone, walking out onto a white stage. There were tons of people in formal stuff sitting on the steps leading down to the stage. The orchestra could be seen in the background. Buffy was just about to change the channel, assuming it was some kind of opera or something dumb like that, when the woman began to sing. Her words caught Buffy's attention.
The
heart is slow to learn
The heart is slow to learn
These
feelings that I feel
Are foolish but they're real
Buffy put down the remote, not even looking at the TV anymore. She just listened as the woman sang. It was the perfect song for her mood this night.
I'm
wise enough to see
This love will never be
Angel slowly slid open the window of Buffy's bedroom. He had thought he'd find her sleeping, and that he could just watch her. He liked to do that sometimes.
Instead, he saw her lying on her stomach with her head at the foot of her bed, watching some concert. It wasn't exactly her kind of thing, he noticed quickly. But then he listened to the woman's words.
And
each day's like the last
When living in the past
"Living in the past. That's exactly what I'm doing." Buffy said softly to the empty room. "But what's wrong with wanting Angel back? I was so much happier then."
I
know it's mad and you won't return
But then as I have said
The heart is slow to learn
Angel thought for a moment about letting her know that he was there, but then decided against it. He wanted to know how she was feeling, and it had been rather hard for them to just talk about things lately.
I'll
never love, as I have loved you
Why is love cruel, I wish I
knew
Say what you will, it doesn't matter
Until I die,
there's only you
"Until I die, there's only you." Buffy echoed softly, now crying. "Angel..."
Until
I die, there's only you
The heart is slow to learn
"Not just slow, it'll never learn." Buffy said.
Angel still watched silently, a tear running down his cold face. He wanted to let her know he was there, he really didn't feel right about eavesdropping. But he needed to know how she felt...
The
heart is slow to learn
You'd think there'd be a way
To
shut out yesterday
Perhaps if I just thought
Of all the
times we've fought
Buffy smiled a little at this, probably remembering the very things that were running through Angel's mind.
I've
tried all that, but no
There's still no letting go
I know
it's mad and you won't return
But then as I have said
The
heart is slow to learn
Buffy's head flopped down unto her arms, her body wracked with sobs. She still lay on the bed, and the bed was shaking slightly.
Why
is love cruel, I wish I knew
Say what you will, it doesn't
matter
Until I die, there's only you
Angel couldn't bear to watch silently any longer. He slowly crawled through the window, putting a hand uncertainly on her shoulder.
Until
I die, there's only you
Why is love cruel, I wish I knew
Buffy froze for an instant at the intrusion, but immediately knew whom it was. She continued to cry then and he stroked her back soothingly, all without saying a word.
Say
what you will, it doesn't matter
Until I die, there's only you
Buffy sat up slowly then, but collapsed quickly against Angel's chest, her body still wracked with sobs. Angel held her without comment, just letting her cry and offering what comfort he could.
Until
I die, there's only you
The heart is slow to learn
After several minutes, Buffy quieted. She stayed in the circle of his arms a moment longer, then slowly pulled away, bringing her hands to her face. He took both of her hands, bringing them down to her lap and making her look him in the eyes.
"How long were you here?" She whispered finally.
"Long enough to hear what you said. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, I just..."
"Just came to see me. That's okay." Buffy said uncertainly. "I guess I should get used to that again, huh? To you just popping up on me?"
"Not if you don't want me to." He said slowly.
"If I didn't want you I'd just lock the window." Buffy said with a small smile.
He smiled in return. "What are you doing here all alone on a Friday night?"
"Well, the gang's all at the Bronze but I didn't feel totally welcome quite yet. It's just gonna take them some time. Besides, I wasn't exactly in the mood to put on my happy-Buffy-face."
"You're not feeling very happy right now?" He asked in confusion.
"Angel, I haven't..." Buffy trailed off.
"What? You can tell me."
Buffy didn't say anything, obviously embarrassed with whatever she was about to say.
"Buffy. Whatever it is..." He trailed off hopefully.
"I haven't really been happy since my birthday last year. I mean, yeah, I'm happier now because you're back and you've got your soul again and everything, but we're still not together. That was the only time I was ever truly happy, when I was with you. Any other times it was always like there was something missing." Buffy had looked away from him as she spoke, her words so soft he could barely hear her as she bared her soul.
"There was something missing." He said. She looked back to him, eyes filled with tears. "The other half of your soul." He told her as their eyes locked. Her heart melted at his words, and she fell again into his arms. The hugged and kissed, and when Buffy pulled away a long time later she rested their foreheads together and spoke softly. "I had a dream last night, you know. Giles told me that it was prophetic, at least the parts I told him were. I didn't tell him the rest, but that could be prophetic also."
"And what was that?" He asked her, wondering why she had brought this up now.
"I saw Jenny working on the restoration spell, but she was retranslating it. She changed it, Angel. The spell Willow did wasn't a curse, it was just a gift."
"You really think that's true? Not just something you dreamed because you want it?"
"Well, after you lost your soul, I dreamed about it happening and Jenny having to do with it. Somehow, I knew she was involved. So yeah, I've come to trust these dreams. Think about it Angel. Why would Jenny want to curse you? Why would she risk Angelus being released again if there was a way she could make you Angel for good?"
"She probably wouldn't, but Buffy, we'd have to be sure. What if you're wrong?"
"She is not wrong." A voice said.
Vampire and Slayer looked up and saw a light floating above them on the bed. The voice that came from it sounded way too familiar.
"Jenny?" Both questioned at the same time.
"That name served me in life." Was the only reply they got.
"You said I'm not wrong?" Buffy said after a moment's hesitation.
"I did. Angel is no longer cursed. There is nothing that will make him lose his soul."
"Why?"
"For the reason you gave. Plus the simple reason that you both deserve happiness and a fair chance at love. A chance many never get."
"I'm sorry." Angel finally managed to speak, thinking she was chiding over her lose of a chance at love with Giles.
"Do not be sorry Angel. You did nothing but fall in love, which can hardly be considered wrong. You never need to apologize for Angelus, for you are not him. And in the end you will both get what you deserve." Jenny said softly as the light above them faded. "Be happy..."
"We will be." Buffy whispered.
"Thank you." Angel added at almost the same time.
Buffy then turned slowly back into Angel's arms. "Now, where were we?"
Angel grinned, "I'm not sure I remember."
"Here?" Buffy questioned, kissing him on the forehead.
"I don't think so."
"What about here?" Buffy whispered into his neck as she kissed him.
"That's closer." He chuckled.
"Getting closer?" Buffy grinned as her lips met his.
"That's about right." Angel responded when she pulled away to catch her breath.
"Now the question is where to go from here?" Buffy pulled back, teasing. Angel reached out and grabbed her by the waist, quickly flipping her unto her back on the bed. She squealed at his unexpected move, then reached her arms up to pull him down next to her.
"Wherever you want to go." Angel whispered as he kissed her breathless.
"Anywhere, as long as you're with me."
"And where else would I be?" Angel countered as they kissed again and again.
"Anyplace without you is nowhere at all."
"I love you. Only you."
"I love you too." Angel whispered back.
And for the rest of the night, the lovers had no need for words.
The End
