Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. This story is not meant to violate the rights held by New Line, Tolkien Enterprises, nor any other licensee, nor is any disrespect intended.
Author's Note: Well, here's another chapter! Thank you so much to those who reviewed, followed, read, and favourited! Love you all! Please REVIEW at the end of this one as well! They keep my Muse going. ;)
Chapter Seven
Kili was hatching an evil plan.
Revenge was needed for sewing his breeches together. He and his uncle had finally ripped them all apart, and they had been sweating and panting after that - it was harder than it seemed. Fili had been laughing all the while, just out of reach on the wardrobe shelf - just high enough so that Kili or Thorin couldn't reach him.
Thorin had tried to get him down, of course, and had given up after an hour that involved threats, laughter, taunts, and snarls. Fili had proceeded to sit there for the rest of the day, starving himself, until Thorin had relented and said, 'Fili, come down now and I will promise that neither your brother or I will skin you alive, no matter how much I want to'.
Kili was pretty sure that hadn't been too reassuring to his brother, but perhaps it was the hunger that had gotten him. Fili had nodded and came down and Kili had struggled to keep himself from ripping his brother's head off - he was pretty sure Thorin would disapprove of that.
But right now, it was not the time to dwell on Fili's prank, no matter how darn annoying it had been. Right now, it was the time for revenge. Kili smirked as he jotted down a few more notes onto his short scroll of parchment. Then he chewed the end of the quill, then spat it out. It tasted disgusting.
Then he grinned. His plan was ready. All he needed were nuts, honey, feathers, and the most important part of the plan - squirrels.
He put on his boots and called to his uncle, "Uncle, I'm going outside for a walk!" He heard a grunt for a response, took that as a 'yes' and headed out. He was going squirrel-hunting.
But he needed someone to help - it would take too long if he did it himself. So he headed toward Mister Dori, Mister Nori, and Ori's house - a small stone hut in the village the dwarves lived in, in Ered Luin.
Kili knocked the door once, then twice. He was careful not to continue knocking repeatedly; Dori had given him a tongue-lashing and it had been ... memorable. He was not so eager to get another one. Nori just grumbled, but Mister Dori ... he was a Mother Hen.
The door opened, and Dori looked at him for a few moments before saying, "What do you need, lad?" He was clearly full of suspicion.
Kili grimaced. "I was hoping that Ori wasn't busy at the moment?" he asked, keeping his tone polite. It would not bode well if he got on Mister Dori's bad side.
Dori sighed and said, "Planning something again, lad?" he asked with a half-smirk as he opened door. He gestured for Kili to step in. Kili took off his boots, knowing that Mister Dori would have a fit if he tracked mud into the house. "What prank is it this time?"
Kili stared. "Er, I-" he stammered, unsure of what to say.
Then Dori grinned. "I'm only jesting, lad. I don't know a thing," he chuckled. "Go on, Ori's upstairs. Reading another scroll, no doubt. If only Nori could be like that instead of getting arrested all the time ..."
I didn't know Mister Dori had a sense of humor, Kili though, leaving Dori to his thoughts and headed upstairs. He knocked on the door that had the name 'Ori' scrawled on it. It was no doubt his friend's room.
"What is it, Nori?" Ori sounded irritated, a tone of voice the young dwarf rarely used. "I told you, I'm not helping you steal from the market! You know that Dori will yell again!"
"You've got the wrong person, Ori," Kili called through the door. "Let me in!"
There was a moment of silence before the door opened. "Kili?" Ori frowned. "What are you doing here?"
Kili invited himself into his friend's room and kicked aside the pile of folded clothing that blocked the pathway to the comfortable-looking bed, ignoring his friend's indignant sputter.
"Do you know how long it took me to fold all of that?" Ori hissed, picking them up desperately. "Dori won't be too pleased when he sees this mess, you know!"
Dori's a Mother Hen and nothing else, Kili thought, but wisely didn't voice his thought. Instead, he said, "I need your help."
Ori raised an eyebrow, looking suspicious. "In what?" he inquired. He had been involved more than enough in his friend's prank in his point of view.
Kili smirked. "Squirrel-hunting."
Kili carried the squirming sack past Thorin, muttering a quick, "Good evening, Uncle," and hurrying upstairs to Fili's room. He ignored the look on Thorin's face - it was a mixed expression of horror and fear of Kili's latest prank. Kili sniggered when he heard the door to Thorin's room slam; it seemed his uncle was smart enough to stay locked inside his room before the prank took place.
Luckily, his brother had gone out for training with Dwalin which gave Kili plenty of time. Fili would be back before dinner though, so hurrying would be smart. Kili quickly filled two buckets with honey, feather, and smashed-up nuts. He quickly placed the buckets on the top of the door - this was his revenge.
Kili climbed up onto the wardrobe and sat with the still wriggling bag in his grasp - it would not be long until Fili returned.
Kili smirked.
Fili entered the house with a sigh, relieved that training was over. He enjoyed sparring with Dwalin, but it was tiring. Very tiring.
He opened the door to his room and SWOOSH!
He sputtered as something sticky and wet drenched him. Gasping and wiping away the liquid from his eyes, he frowned. Honey? Feathers and nuts were stuck to his clothing - not the greatest combination. There were chitters and the sound of squirrels.
Fili knew that he was going mad. But then he looked up and saw his brother releasing squirrels from a bag, letting them leap toward his brother who had nuts stuck to him.
Fili gulped. The squirrels sprang for the nuts. With a shriek, Fili turned and ran. Those squirrel did look very hungry. Behind him, he heard Kili's laughter and he cursed his stupidity for letting his guard down.
Thorin sighed, watching his eldest nephew run out the door, covered in honey, feathers and - were those nuts? He frowned. Squirrels chased after him and Kili ran out as well.
Thorin sighed once more and lay down on his bed and closed his eyes. He knew that it had been a good idea to stay locked in his room until he was safe. He couldn't help but smirk as he heard Fili snarling at his brother, who was still laughing.
Those boys gave him gray hairs.
Thorin shook his head, exasperated.
Just so you know, a message from Kili: There were no 'Fili's hurt in the making of this chapter.
End of Chapter Seven
Author's Note: Well, how was that? Please REVIEW! I hope that was funny, I still don't think I'm very good at humor ... Please REVIEW and let me know your thoughts on this one! Hopefully the next chapter will be up by next week.
