Disclaimer:I do not own Inazuma Eleven… so don't sue me!


WARNING: This chapter was created thanks to all the randomness which bottled in my mind during the Finals...

Plus, I'd better go and wear some armour...


'Camera rolling... one.. two.. three...and ACTION!'


Those FFI scums!

a. Of all the things... they turn me into a leech!

-Fubuki Atsuya

XX


Looks like somebody is not happy to play Edward Cullen.

a. It's for the Liocott Blood Bank, right?

-Someoka Ryuugo

XX


Still, as if it wasn't bad enough that I to sink my plastic "fangs" in a pseudo-Snow White's neck aka my uh...Shirou "Onii chan"...

a. They are making me wear BODY GLITTER dammit!

b. Seriously, I look as if I'd just taken a bath in Caryola glitter or something.

c. Screw Twilight. Screw FFI.

-Fubuki Atsuya

XX


Don't say "Screw Twilight".

a. The Twihards might get you.

b. If not, then Someoka will.

-Coach Kudou

XX


Ah, Twilight...

a. My girlfriend doesn't like Twilight coz she says that Edward Cullen is a freakkin Mary Sue. (by Gouenji )

b. Yeah... Fuyaka-san finds all that blood and hunting revolting as she believes it is bad for endangered animals or something. (by Fubuki Shirou)

XX


Kogure... I just heard Someoka and Kazemaru laughing about your love story with Peter Pan!

-Midorikawa Ryuuji

XX


Who are you all calling so short that he looks like he's wearing a gown even in Tinkerbell minis, huh?

-Kogure Yuuya

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-CHEERFUL MESSAGES-

Fire Dragon is eliminated for god's sake!

a. Why is that Garshield guy is after my image...

-Suzuno Fuusuke

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-CHEERFUL MESSAGES-

Gazelle seriously cracks me up!

a. I mean... , look at the script:-

(Background: the footage from Titanic of everybody including Leonardo di Caprio drowning)

THE RANDOM ICEBERG FLOATING IN WATER WITHOUT SLEEVES: (pointing stupidly at the projector) Useless humans... if they had Dulex Garshield Life Jackets... James Cameroon would have to waste so much water. Dulex Garshield Life Jacket... 50$ only!

b. How more stupid can you get?

-Nagumo Haruya

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-CHEERFUL MESSAGES-

Look at this:

"...In a bid to endorse an FFI product, Orpheus captain, Fideo Aldena, flew all the way to Milan and created shockwaves in the fashion world by making a fashion statement by wearing 'Garshield Diapers' as he walked on the ramp for Yves Saint Laurent. Other prominent fashion houses are planning on designing a new range on fashionable contemporary diapers in the upcoming fashion weeks..."

a.I mean, if Fideo had to become a superhero... he should have worn his underwear... not diapers over his pants.

b. It's not at bad as Roniejo and Edgar... I've heard they are going for a calender photoshoot for the thingy.

-Ichinose Kazuya

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Did you see the Cappucino Counter?

-Midorikawa Ryuuji

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-CHEERFUL MESSAGES-

Um, it's the Catenaccio Counter.

-Fideo Aldena

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I meant the new coffee counter, diaper wearing pasta eating Italian boy.

-Midorikawa Ryuuji

XX


Don't call Fideo a "Diaper wearing pasta eating Italian boy".

a. Unless you want his fans to turn your ward into a pasta land.

b. Midorikawa... you can stop singing 'I'm a pasta boy... in a pasta world'. Please.

-Kino Aki

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While wearing a loincloth... Tie it.

a. Toramaru.. it pretty much went Gone With The Wind in yesterday's shoot

b. P.S: What are you gonna do about that tiger tattoo?

-Gouenji Shuuya

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My sister's EYES! Her Eyes, you idiot striker!

a. Can't Tarzan Toramaru wear something bigger than that 5cm piece of "garment"?

-Kidou Yuuto

XX


Dear Agony Uncle,

It's me... I guess you know me. Kazemaru Ichirouta?

Anyway, can you tell me whether I'm normal? I mean, people are like, I should go for therapy or something. Come on, I'm completely normal apart for the fact that people say that I look like a girl and go on calling me NAG V2 ...and I have a wannabe-god as the opposite window neighbour who has a tendency to keep blinds of his window open while changing (and even waving at me sometimes)... and I am a part of the complete basket-case team...I have millions of fans after me and... not to mention I had my diary leaked which has ended up being an international no.1 best seller... I'm SO normal.

-Kazemaru Ichirouta

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Agony Uncle!:

Yes Kazemaru, you sure are!

a. P.S: I had no idea that the reason you ended up in Dark Emperors was because you were looking for dance classes and thought that Kenzaki was Michael Jackson.

b. P.P.S: No therapy for you. Go for rehab.

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Hey guys! MKF Publications invite all FFI teams for a celebratory party of the success of the International no. 1 bestseller... The Kazemaru Diaries Vol. 1 at the Inazuma Cruise!

a. No bulls or any wild animals, please! (by Fudou)

b. Ditto explosives, WMDs... Kidou... Fubuki Atsuya... (by Midorikawa)

c. Unlimited Drinks, Wine Fountain, Flame breathing performers... ushishishi.. (by Kogure)

d. Best part... NO COACHES ALLOWED.

XX


Okay. A tipsy God, a drunk Angel, a passed out devil and a sober Someoka who remembers EVERYTHING what had happened in his room are not to be within ten metre radius of each other.

a. Please.

-Managers

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-CHEERFUL MESSAGES-

DO NOT go inside Someoka's room.

a. Unless you want Dora the Explorer give you nosebleeds.

b. Aphrodi has been shifted to the ICU because he became anaemic or something.

-Sein [Issued in the public interest]

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SERIOUSLY! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

a. Not to mention all that sexy dancing with KAGEYAMA ! You SEXY danced.. with... argh!

b. I told you not to go for the fifth bottle.

c. My eyes are still screaming in terror.

-A disgusted Sakuma Jirou

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Don't even try to say that you were innocent, Sakuma. You handed me the fourth one.

a. What were you doing with my sister when I was um...

b. Some people say that you were up to something heinous.

-A suspicious Kidou Yuuto

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You were saying something about Haruna's eyes, Kidou?

a. Whatever had to happen to them had happened yesterday with that sexy dancing thingy.

- Utsunomiya Toramaru

XX


-CHEERFUL MESSAGES-

Kazuya. Are you all right?

a. I swear... I mean.. I think we have seen enough 'Elvis and his pelvis' to last a lifetime yesterday night.

b. I can't get the image of you in bell-bottoms..slinky shirt and gelled up hair with side burns.

-Mark Kruger


-CHEERFUL MESSAGES-

FOLLOW THE RULES!

a. I can't get the image of Mr. K and that Little Gigant's old man belly dancing at 'Hips don't Lie.'

b. Our eyes, Mr. K...

c. P.S: Endou Daisuke, I'm sure I heard Endou say something about whatever he saw had mutated his genes or something.

-Fideo Ardena

XX


OMG!

a. Endou is in Depression!

b. He hasn't even said 'Let's play Soccer'... even ONCE!

-Gouenji Shuuya

XX


Living people are not to be put at stake in Poker.

a. I don't care if this had happened in the Mahabharata...

b. Kazemaru is not yours for you to bet, Atsuya even though you may go on claiming otherwise.

-Endou Mamoru

XX


Kogure's hot chilli pepper is BANNED.

a. Nobody knew that all the party-goers would end up being the fire breathing performers.

-Managers

XX


New Segment: Love Bites!

Hola people! My SEGMENT!

I've received news that Inazuma Japan has a new off-field Player!

That's right, Kogure Yuuya, the dimutive guy-who-loves-hot-pepper was seen getting close to not one but FOUR girls. He was spotted getting all lovey-dovey with a certain Gouenji Yuuka and later was seen slow dancing with Fuyuka Ono. Not to mention getting personal with Kino Aki and Otonashi Haruna repectively.

Dear Tinky, start running.

-Urabe Rika

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Now you've done it!

a. Just you wait Kogure. (by Kidou Yuuto)

b. I'm going to ring you, Tinky! (by Ichinose Kazuya)

c. Kogure. (by Gouenji Shuuya)

d. My Haruna! (by Sakuma )

e. KOGURE! (by Fubuki Shirou)

f. Meet us at the Cappucino Counter for some coffee, will ya? (by Fudou)

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Don't fight people in the Cappucino Counter.

a. Don't Bakenetsu Screw them.

b. Don't Inazuma Break their bones either.

c. Ditto freezing, attacking them with live and plastic penguins or hitting them with pegasi either.

-Managers

XX


Butt jokes are officially banned.

-Coach Kudou

XX


The Tobitaka Tragedy!

Yesterday, after the glamorous party, a tragedy befell on Tobitaka Seiya of Inazuma Japan. Acoording to sources, the defender was made to consume more alcohol than his system could register and was tied in a sack and thrown out from the Inazuma Cruise. Apparently only his hair were sticking out and as he got washed to the Liocott shores, a surfer thought he was an animal or something. And so the sack was taken straight to the Liocott Veterinary Hospital. The vet didn't open the sack and administered 10 shots in the area on which nobody can crack jokes.

-Otonashi Haruna

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HUGE Thanks to: ChocoLuvr101, Floric1434, X DancingInTheRain X, Icee Suicune, nanabe, KiyoMeow1305 and GoInazuma , Airi , Daniel (Thanks for the "love bites" idea, I first thought I might not be able to fit it but in the end... :)),DragonSoulSC and MizuKi-chan-18 for reviewing. Thanks to all those who added this fic to faves and alerts (as always :)) and all the readers for bearing with me.

Forgive me! Twihards! (this why I needed body armour)... I always thought Atsuya could be a vamp becoz he had golden eyes... spiky hair... plus I thought I could see some fangs too...

And I DON'T own that caryola glitter reference (from "Size Differences" by xchemx). Read it if you hate Twilight/Edward Cullen/ don't mind a good laugh out of anyone.

P.S: Vote for IE (it is near the ROCK bottom of the list) in .com/top-anime-list for which you'll have to become a member of Squido to do so... but really, I don't think Inazuma Eleven is THAT unpopular.

Next chapter will be better. Review please :)