A/N: I'm horrible for promising a faster update! But this bit was really hard to write for me. Anyway, thanks for your patience. And this one's a bit short too. But please keep reading :P
Chapter 7
Castle returned home from his crazy encounter with a drunken Beckett early the next morning. His mom was in the living room going over her lines for an audition.
"What happened?" Martha asked as soon as she saw her son.
Castle sighed at his mother's nosiness, "Nothing happened."
He then heard his daughter's shuffling feet hurrying down the stairs. She still had her pajamas on and nearly slipped as her bunny slippers hit the polished wooden floor when she jumped over the last two steps in excitement. "What happened?" She asked as she ran to her dad.
Castle gave her a "not you, too" look, and said the same thing only a little more exasperated, "Nothing happened!" He paused, "And if it did, I wouldn't tell you."
Alexis pursed her lips and arched her brow very much like her dad. "So something did happen?"
Castle was definitely at a point beyond exasperation. "Seriously! Nothing happened!"
Martha scoffed very loudly catching the attention of the other two. "You're with her every day. You clearly care a great deal for her. You slept in her bed and now you're telling me that nothing happened?" Martha sounded frustrated. "My boy, I think you've lost your touch!"
Castle smirked at his mother's comment. "First of all, I slept on the couch, and second, I've got a book to finish. So excuse me." He retreated into his study hoping to be left alone with his thoughts. He played the last few hours over in his head.
The smell of scotch was unmistakable. It was really expensive scotch too, the one he bought from late New York's mayor's stash and gave to her as present. He eyed the red bottle in her hand; she had already consumed half of it. He tried to help her up awkwardly. She had one arm around his neck, the other extended in the air flailing the bottle. "I can't believe you're drunk. You're supposed to be the adult between us." He said half worried but also half amused.
"I hold my liquor very well." Beckett insisted. She pulled herself up by yanking on his broad shoulders.
"I'll be the judge of that." Castle put his arm securely on her waist. His free hand pulled on hers that was hanging limply over his shoulder to keep her grip on him from slipping. He walked her slowly to the couch.
He checked the clock on the wall. It was a quarter past 6. When he left her place, she was sound asleep. He left a note on her fridge saying that he'd be back just in case she woke up. But that seemed unlikely given her state the previous night. He wanted a warm shower, a change of clothes and time to think.
He tried to sit her down, but she curled up and laid her head on the armrest instead. Castle took a peek behind the couch where Kate had come out from. On the floor, there was an empty glass with only drips of scotch left at the edges. Beside it, there was her laptop. Rick looked through the tabs she had opened on her browser. There were a bunch of medical sites of transplant success rates and heart surgery procedures. There were ones of inspirational miracle stories of healing. "Oh no." Castle muttered as he realized why Beckett was upset enough to start getting wasted. Beckett poked her head out from the couch when she heard Castle. She pulled herself up.
"My dad needs a heart transplant!" She voice was sharp but on the verge of cracking. He got up and sat beside her. Beckett took another swig of the bottle in hand. Castle reached for it but she held it protectively to her chest.
"I'm sorry..."
"It's not your fault. It's his."
He tried to pry the bottle from her hand but she held it even tighter.
"You're upset. But this is no way to handle it. You know better than that."
She stuck her tongue out at him like a child and took another big gulp. Castle shook his head.
Castle stepped into the shower and let the water wash all the stress away. The rush of running water helped to re-energize him but he was still distracted. He stepped out in a towel and wiped the mirror for a clearer reflection. He sighed deeply.
"What are you doing, Kate?"
"See how he likes it if I get drunk out of my mind!" She hiccuped which seemed to be incredibly amusing to her and it sent her into a fit of giggles.
"You're doing this to get back at him? That makes no sense. What's this really about?"
"I'm mad at him!"
"No you're not."
"He should have thought of me before he drank himself to death! I needed him to be okay. And I thought he was going to be okay. Look what's happened. He's going to die"
"Don't say that Kate. He's got a fighting chance. You said so yourself, your dad's a fighter."
"He should have been the responsible one. He was the adult."
"Grief manifests itself in different ways. It took you a while to stop obsessing about your mom's case."
"It's not the same."
"I'm sorry, Kate. I wish things were different."
"Oh and you know what else? Josh is the best surgeon there. But he wants nothing to do with me! Can you believe that asshole? It's so unprofessional!" She half yelped. And then quieter, she said, "We broke up because of you, ya know!" she chuckled. "Yoooouuuuur faaaauuuuult!" She said in a singsong voice.
He had been staring unseeingly into the mirror for a while now. He hung on to what Beckett had mentioned. She said it was his fault that they broke up. What did she mean exactly? Did Davidson hate his guts so much that he couldn't stand that his girlfriend was hanging around him. They were only partners, and nothing else, he thought sadly. He suddenly remembered what Josh said in the hospital, "fighting a losing battle". He didn't think much of it then, but now—could it be that Beckett broke up with Josh for him? He cursed himself for being hopeful. There was nothing worse than false hope.
Castle knew that it was the alcohol that took her tact hostage. But it still hurt the way she said it, almost like she was condemning him. But it didn't matter if his feelings were hurt because he was too gripped with guilt. Admittedly, he wanted Josh to go away, but he didn't want it to affect the way Jim was being treated.
"I can talk to him." Castle offered.
"Nah. He isn't the type to budge." She took another gulp.
Castle reached for the bottle but she was quicker. "Please stop Kate."
"Make me."
Castle changed hurriedly. He went to the kitchen to find a cup of coffee that Alexis had prepared for him waiting on the counter. She was also making scrambled eggs when he walked in.
"Is all that for me?"
"Yes, now eat up, because I'm going to be late."
"I'll drop you to school on my way to Beckett's"
Alexis gave him a teasing grin, "Back to Beckett's?"
"Yes, and I told you, nothing happened."
"Whatever you say Dad." She set the plate of eggs and a piece of French toast in front of him. "And Ashley is picking me up, he got his license and his dad lent him the car for today." She leaned on over the counter and kissed her dad on the cheek, "I'll see you later!"
"Love you."
"Love you too," Alexis grabbed her bag and was out the door.
Castle finished up his breakfast and said goodbye to his mom. He heard her mocking his
"nothing happened" statement as he exited the apartment. After stopping by Starbucks to get Beckett a Chicken Santa Fe Panini and coffee, he set in the direction of her apartment. His mind went back to the events of last night.
She inverted the bottle in her hand and shook it. She laughed again. "No more!" she announced like it wasn't the most obvious observation. She breathed in deeply , pursed her lips together hard, and exhaled forcefully through her mouth. It made her lips vibrate creating a sound much like the distant buzz of a helicopter approaching."I think I've got vodka in the cupboard."
She attempted to get up but lost her balance and fell back on the couch.
"No way I'm ever giving alcohol as a gift again."
"Come sit by me." Kate said as she patted the area on the couch beside her.
Castle obliged. When he sat down he took the empty bottle from her and set it on the table. Beckett sighed heavily.
"Always too late." She muttered.
"Sorry?"
"I'm always too late. Too late to stop my dad from drinking. Too late to realize that my mom was in trouble that night. Too late to save the guy who could have led me to the people to ordered her to be killed."
She put her feet up and leaned against him. He put his arm around her.
"Sshhh. None of that was your fault."
She made no reply.
Castle made his way up to Beckett's apartment. He walked slowly because he was pretty sure that she'd still be asleep. He fetched the key he had taken last night from his pocket. He opened the door enough for him to stick his head in.
"Hey Ka—err— Beckett." Somehow calling her by her first name was easier when she was drunk. When there was no answer, he let himself in.
He surveyed the room—it was still in the mess it was in last night.
Castle peeked into the bedroom to check on Beckett. She was curled up with the covers over her head. Castle decided to start cleaning up till Beckett woke up. When he was done, he took a seat on the couch and the flashbacks kept coming.
He didn't mind that she didn't say anything. He was pretty content with just holding her as she rested her head on his chest. They were silent for a few minutes until Beckett finally spoke up.
"We would never work out"
"What do you mean?"
"You and I, we would never work out. It's kind of sad."
Castle debated whether he should pursue the conversation. Some people are found to be extremely honest when they're drunk. Others still manage to keep their defenses up no matter how wasted. He couldn't be sure which one Beckett was.
Castle heard Beckett groan from the bedroom. He got off the couch and slowly made his way to the door. He didn't show himself right away. He stood by the side of the door, peeking in. He found her sitting up with her hand to her head.
He took a deep breath. "Knock knock." He said. He stepped inside cautiously.
"Hey..."
"god, my head. What the hell happened last night?"
"You don't remember?" He asked disheartened.
"I remember thinking I'd have one drink to ease up. After that, I don't remember a thing." Beckett complained.
"You took a little more than that. Here, drink up." Castle handed her the cup of coffee he had picked up on the way.
There would never be another opportunity to bring it up. Castle pursed his lips then decided to go ahead with it. He picked his words carefully.
"I wouldn't say it was impossible."
"What?"
"You and me, I don't think it's impossible."
She adjusted her position so that she'd be facing him. "What are you saying?"
Was that expectancy he saw in her eyes? He couldn't be sure. This was definitely not the right time to start a confession. "I just mean, if we wanted, we could make it work..." He lowered his voice toward the end of the sentence.
"Does that mean you want to?"
Castle was going nuts. He wasn't sure how to deal with this. Where was this coming from? Drunk that I'm not myself Beckett or drunk that I'm being completely honest Beckett? He didn't want to say anything yet. Not like this.
"No, it's—" before he could finish, she cut him off.
"Oh. Shame" She averted her gaze and went back to leaning her head on his chest.
Was that the wrong move? What did she mean? Was she expecting a different reply? Did she want to hear him say he wanted to try to make it work between them?
"What if I said I did?" Castle asked, he knew it was a long shot but then what the hell.
She looked back at him and smiled. His heart was racing in anticipation. "Then that'd be terrific."
"Yeah?" Castle was beaming. But on the inside, he knew there was a chance that is wasn't really her talking.
"Yeah."
"You really don't remember anything?" Castle pressed.
Kate took another sip of her coffee. "Not at all." She paused. "Wait, why? What happened?" Beckett started to feel embarrassed. What if she acted like a complete moron? Or worse, a moron confessing her undying love.
"Nothing happened." Castle repeated for the 5th time that day.
Beckett wasn't convinced. Some of her wildest nights were the ones she couldn't remember, but only made known to her by the accounts of her friends who would be making a laughing stock out of her the next day. Nothing happened? Oh god. She did make a complete fool of herself.
"Really?" Kate asked.
"Really. You were a very behaved drunk" Castle said but he had a teasing smile on his face. He knew that would drive her crazy. In the back of his head, he kept recalling what had happened.
"This is boring!" Kate announced. She got up from the couch and pulled Castle along with her. The sudden movement was too much for her current state and she became instantly dizzy, making her fall over again.
Castle kept her grip on her so she didn't hit the ground. He pulled her up. "You're making a habit of making me catch you, Kate." He smiled. He wasn't over the initial high of her saying that it'd be terrific if they got together. "You should go to bed."
"Castle?"
"Hmm?"
"Why are you always taking care of me?"
"Well, someone's got to. And I'm happy to."
"You know Castle," Beckett drawled, "Gina is one lucky girl."
"We broke up."
"I don't believe you." Beckett said sternly.
"You chugged a whole bottle of scotch by yourself. And then you fell asleep."
"And you were here to witness it, because?"
"When I couldn't find you in the hospital, and you wouldn't answer my calls, I came here. Just in time to put you to bed. I slept on the couch in case you woke up all confused in the middle of the night"
"You didn't have to do that."
"It was no trouble."
"A whole bottle huh? That was a little stupid."
"A little?"
Beckett let out a chuckle. "Okay, a lot stupid."
"When did you break up?" Beckett asked.
"Just this afternoon"
"Why?"
"She wasn't the one for me"
With each word the pair inched closer and closer. He could smell the alcohol in her breath but he didn't mind.
"Who is the one for you, then?" Kate asked teasingly as she moved even closer.
He wanted to kiss her so bad. Her mouth was so close to his. It only took an inch. All he wanted to do was kiss her at that moment. He bit the inside of his cheeks hard. Castle sighed. It took all his will power but he managed to take a step back. "You really should get some sleep. Come on." He took her by the hand and walked her to her bedroom.
"So nothing happened? You promise?" Beckett had to be sure.
"Detective Beckett, I'm starting to think you wanted something to happened." Castle smirked.
"In your dreams, Castle."
"Or in yours. Hmm Beckett?"
She shook her head but she was smiling. "Thank you, Castle." Perhaps it was the ounce of liquid courage left in her, but Kate leaned forward and planted a kiss on Caste's cheek. "It was really sweet of you. I really appreciate it."
"Don't thank me yet, I've got breakfast waiting for you outside. I'll go get that ready and you get yourself ready, I'll drop you at the hospital."
"Sounds good."
A/N: I will do my very best to update soon! Perhaps by Christmas morning, as a present for everyone. I WILL REALLY TRY :D please review and make my holiday complete
