AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, so far, this story has been very up and down emotionally, although so far it's been quite depressing. Melissa had been feeling depressed because she realized that she was approaching middle age and had yet to have any children, so she approached Ralph with the idea. Much to her disappointment, Ralph didn't feel as strongly as she did and thought they might be better off not having any children. But after a few months had gone by, Ralph had a discussion with his mother that led him to realize he was being selfish, and much to Melissa's delight, Ralph finally agreed with her that they should have children. Now, the two of them are preparing as they are planning to try to conceive. So far this has been a mostly unhappy story, but this chapter is by far the most light hearted one so far (it's even mildly comedic in places. Hell, it probably WILL be the most light hearted chapter in this story. You'll see Bert, Ralph, and Melissa discussing the future (and Bert dreaming about that silly novel of his), as well as Bert having a discussion with Maxie about that strange letter he got (that she wrote...) I should also say the last part of this chapter is kind of...well...naughty, heheh...and not quite child-friendly, but then again, I highly doubt I have any children reading my stories anyways since I doubt most children under the age of 18 have ever even heard of this show (it's not as naughty as I could make it though, I will never write anything M-rated). This is pretty much a bridging chapter, so it won't be the best one, but I still hope you enjoy this one.

Now without further adieu, let's dive into...

CHAPTER SEVEN: Looking Forward

It's a sunny summer morning in the Kingdom of Waterland. Today was a special day for the Kingdom-it was Princess Luna's 21st birthday. And today, Gardos the Magnificent, and his friends Blodwyn the grain merchant and his wife Alvara were heading to Procyon Castle as they had been invited by the King and Queen to the party.

Presently, the trio arrived at Procyon Castle, where they were greeted by the friendly looking ranger who guarded the front gate.

"HALT!" the ranger shouted to the trio. "Have you been invited by King and Queen Procyon to the Princess' birthday party?"

"We sure have," Blodwyn nodded. "Special request."

"Ah, very well," the ranger said as he opened the gate to the trio. "You may enter. Go inside and have a grand time. Myself? I'll just stay here and guard the gate...I just wish I got paid for this..."

But as the trio entered the gate to the castle, the ranger's face took on a more twisted, snarling appearance. "They don't know what's coming for them...it's only a matter of time before we, the servants, have our vengeance..." he snarled as he rubbed his paws together with glee.

Presently the trio reached the royal hall of Procyon Castle, where Gardos was greeted by his apprentice, Marcus, the young prince.

"Ah, Gardos! I'm so glad you could make it to my sister's party!" he smiled as he greeted his idol with a hug.

"It's a pleasure to be here," the wizard proudly smiled at his protege. "I just have one question for you."

"And what's that?"

"Where's your sister?" Gardos eagerly asked, hoping to see the princess, who happened to be the woman of his dreams.

"Oh brother..." Marcus muttered under his breath.

"Gardos, do you really think you stand a shot with Princess Luna?" Blodwyn informed his friend, trying to give him a bit of a reality check.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, she has many suitors from all across the land. They are all trying to win her paw in marriage as they all hope to rule this land someday. After all, not only she is the princess, she is the next ruler of this country once King and Queen Procyon die," Blodwyn finished.

"Well, that's true, but none of them have been good enough for her, as she has yet to accept any of them. That means I've still got a chance!" Gardos gleefully exalted.

"I don't think princesses are very fond of magici-" Alvara shushed her husband.

"Oh, come on, Blodwyn, do you have to shatter his hopes and dreams?" she scowled at him.

"Sorry..." Blodwyn meekly responded.

At that moment, King and Queen Procyon stood before the subjects of the kingdom. "Silence in the royal hall, everyone!" the King shouted to the unruly subjects. "Now, as I am certain you all know, I have gathered all of you, my loyal subjects, here today as today is my daughter Princess Luna's twenty-first birthday."

"And now, presenting the birthday girl herself," the Queen announced to the crowd, "Princess Luna!" The Princess entered the royal hall as the crowd applauded her.

Gardos was mesmerized. "Princess...Luna..." he vacantly said, his eyes practically turning into hearts.

"Oh geez...he's like a lovesick puppy..." Blodwyn shook his head.

"You were the same way when you met me," Alvara smiled.

"Oh, don't remind me..." Blodwyn sighed.

Presently the subjects of the kingdom gave the Princess their gifts they had obtained for her. Before long, Princess Luna came upon the smitten magician.

"So, Gardos the Magnificent," she smiled at the rather goofy looking wizard, "I know you have been training my little brother in the ways of magic."

"Oh!" Gardos said, briefly snapping out of his trance. "Why, of course I have! He's getting better and better all the time."

"It's good to know," the princess smiled, "I'm sure he'll be a great wizard someday too. If he keeps practicing..."

"Here's hoping," Gardos said under his breath.

"So anyways, Gardos," the Princess said as she hurriedly changed the subject, "what did you get me? I imagine it's quite a gift considering you have magical powers..."

"I got it right here..." Gardos smiled. "Hold on a minute...Ala-ka-WHATZIT!" With that, a wart-covered toad appeared in Gardos' paw.

"Umm..." the Princess nervously replied, feeling a bit disgusted at the grotesqueness of the gift, "Gardos...I don't think I'm terribly fond of toads..."

"Erm, that was supposed to be the finest gem in all the kingdom..." Gardos answered, feeling embarrassed.

"A toad, Gardos? You gave her a toad?" Blodwyn incredulously shouted at him.

"Heheh...I sort of...messed up my spell..." Gardos shamefully replied. He couldn't really help himself. Being in the presence of the Princess made his mind go blank. He wasn't thinking properly.

Just as he was about to change the toad into a gemstone, a loud noise came from the front door of Procyon Castle.

"What was that?" the Princess said, alarmed.

Queen Procyon walked to the window and looked down at the front door of the castle. "Oh my! The servants have gathered together and they're attacking the front door with a huge battering ram! I think they're trying to break in the front door!"

"You think?" King Procyon sarcastically shot back.

"This is no time for sarcasm! They're being led by our royal adviser Sneerius! This is an emergency! Everyone, hide if you can!" the Queen alerted the guests.

"Where are we going to hide?" Blodwyn said, alarmed and feeling scared. He didn't know where he could hide.

"We'll hide under the table," Alvara said as she and Blodwyn dove under the table, unable to think of a better hiding place.

The booming from the front door grew louder, and louder...

Bert awoke from his slumber as a knock on the front door sounded throughout the Raccoondominium. He'd been dreaming about the latest chapter of his novel, which he was currently in the process of trying to write. It's a Monday morning in the Evergreen Forest, and Bert had slept in a little late; it was almost noon.

"Huh..." Bert said as he stretched his arms and extricated himself from the couch where he had been sleeping. "That's gotta be Ralphie boy and Melissa. They must be back from their little camping trip..." he yawned as he opened the front door.

Sure enough, it was Ralph and Melissa. They looked rather...happy about something. "Hi, Bert," Ralph smiled at him as the couple entered their house.

"Ah, hello you two," Bert grinned back.

"I see everything looks okay around here," Melissa said as she and Ralph placed their backpacks down in front of the couch. "We were a little worried we'd come home to Tornado Alley," she chuckled.

"Nah!" Bert scoffed. "See! I told you I can look after the house just fine by myself! Although, I didn't really like it that much," he admitted. "It's kinda lonely here when no one's around, ya know..."

Melissa nodded; she knew Bert wasn't tremendously fond of being alone. "We understand Bert, but we were only gone for a couple of days."

"How'd your trip go, anyways?" Bert curiously asked.

"Ah, we had a good time," Ralph smiled. "It was a nice way to spend our anniversary together. Although I ended up falling out of the boat once..." he admitted, feeling more than a little embarrassed to admit his clumsiness.

"You stood up in the boat again, didn't you?" Bert laughed. He knew Ralph could be a bit clueless when it came to the rules of the outdoors. It seemed so ironic Ralph considered himself an environmentalist, considering sometimes he didn't seem to know a whole lot about the actual environment...

"Oh yeah..." Ralph nodded.

"But it was alright. We still had a good time...celebrating our anniversary, in a certain sense..." Melissa winked at her husband. Ralph knew what she meant; he had greatly surprised Melissa by romancing her while they had set up camp for the night. The two of them had made love out in the wilderness under the moonlight. It had been a huge surprise to Melissa; Ralph had always been a little reluctant in bed, certainly not adventurous. They had never done anything like that before. But Ralph had told her that had long been a fantasy of his, and she was only too happy to make it become a reality. Over the past few months, their romantic life had suffered due to Melissa feeling depressed and Ralph feeling unsure on whether or not they should have children. It had to have been over a month since they had shared a special moment together; that had been far too long for the two of them...

"I...see," Bert responded. "Well, I'm glad you two had a good time."

"Bert," Melissa said, "we have something we'd like to tell you," she smiled cheerfully. A smile crept across Ralph's face as well.

"What would that be?" Bert wondered.

"Bert," Ralph grinned, "Melissa and I have decided we are going to have children."

"You mean you actually made up your mind?" Bert answered him.

"He sure did," Melissa grinned as she placed her arm around her husband. "He decided to give having children a chance, after all!"

"Well, that's great, Ralphie boy!" Bert said, slapping his old friend on the back.

"Hey, don't do that!" Ralph groaned.

"Heheh, sorry. So, what made you change your mind? I remember you sounded so against the whole idea. Now you want to give it a chance. How'd you change your mind?"

"I talked to my mother," Ralph informed Bert, "and she reminded me that I've been selfish all these years. I've put the Standard above Melissa's happiness, and that's not the way it should be."

"I've always thought you were too attached to that job," Bert said. "I mean, it's great and all, but it's only just a job. Your job can never return the love you give it; but she can," Bert pointed at Melissa.

"Exactly," Ralph agreed.

"So, are you leaving the Standard or something?" Bert asked his friend.

"Leave the Standard?" Ralph looked perplexed as to why Bert would think he would leave his job. "No, I'd never leave the Standard in a million years. But it's no longer the most important thing in my life. My wife is," Ralph grinned as he hugged Melissa.

"If you asked me, I think you were fine the way you were, but if you think you need to make a change, it's perfectly fine with me," Melissa smiled at him.

"I promise I'll devote more time to you, honey," Ralph smiled back. "Bert, Melissa and I are going to make a stop by the hospital this week to find out whether or not the two of us are fertile. We need to know that before we can start trying to have children."

"Good idea," Bert agreed. "That would really be awful for you to try and try and then find out you can't even have children in the first place, wouldn't it?"

"Would it ever!" Ralph laughed. "I really hope that's not the case..."

"I just hope you know what you're in for at the doctor's, though..." Bert snickered.

"What am I in for...?" Ralph was confused.

"You'll see..." Bert snickered again.

That made Ralph feel quite uncomfortable, but he quickly shrugged it off.

"I'm sure we're both fertile," Melissa smiled. "I'm sure everything's going to turn out alright. You watch, Bert. Sooner than you know it, I have a good feeling we'll be having a new arrival here at the Raccoondominium." Bert could tell Melissa felt quite optimistic.

"Ah, I can't wait," Bert grinned. Bert had always loved children, and he could hardly wait to have a new friend to play with at home. "What do you think you two'll end up having, Ralphie boy?"

"Well, if you asked me," Ralph mused, "I wouldn't really care if we had a son or a daughter. But I think I'd like to have a son a little more than a daughter. I'd hope he would grow up to be a good man, and maybe take over the Standard someday when Melissa and I are old and gray...I mean, grayer than usual," he chuckled.

"I'd love to have a son as well," Melissa agreed with her husband. "I've seen the bond your mother has with you, Ralph, and I would love to have a bond like that. From what I've seen the bond between a mother and son is one of the strongest there is. Although I wouldn't mind if I had a daughter, though. I'd just like the chance to have a child of my own."

"Bentley and I would love to have a new 'little buddy' as well," Bert agreed with his housemates. "That'd be a new friend to play with! I'd love to play with your kid. I would like to have kids myself, but...unless I can actually find a girlfriend someday, I don't think that's going to happen..." he sighed.

"Well, you could adopt a child if you wanted one," Melissa informed him.

"Yeah..." Bert lowly said. "No need to worry about that though! I got things I want to do today!" With that, Bert went rushing off the front door and grabbed his fishing pole.

"Wonder where he's off to in such a hurry?" Melissa wondered.


A week-and-a-half has passed in the Evergreen Forest. Today, Ralph and Melissa Raccoon are at Willow's Store, grocery shopping together. Both of them are feeling excited about their possible future.

"Huh, you know, it's funny, Melissa," Ralph said as he grabbed some oranges off one of the shelves and placed them in their grocery basket. "You normally don't like to go shopping."

"I know, that pretty much makes me an oddball among women," she chuckled. "But there's something here I wanted to see if they had."

"What could that be?" Ralph wondered.

"We'll see when we get there," Melissa said as she placed a box of "Peanut Butter Crisp Cereal" for Bert in the basket. Bert had not accompanied them on their shopping trip; he had gone fishing with Cedric. Ralph had taken the day off from the Standard as he had a bit of a special night planned for his wife tonight...

"So, Ralph," Melissa struck up another conversation with her husband, "our trip to the doctor's was pretty uneventful."

"I wouldn't say that..." Ralph said as he remembered their visit to Evergreen Hospital a few days ago...

Ralph and Melissa were sitting in the waiting room together, waiting for the doctor to call them for their appointment they had scheduled. In the past few months, Dr. Canard had decided to retire early and a new doctor had been called in to take his place on the hospital staff. They had yet to meet the new doctor, so they were curious about who they were in for...

Presently a large red rooster walked into the waiting room. "Ralph and Melissa Raccoon?" he said.

"That's us," Melissa said as they followed the rooster into the doctor's office and sat down before him.

"Ah, so you must be the editor and photographer for the Evergreen Standard," the rooster grinned at them from behind his desk. "I've read about you in the paper. I'm Dr. Kenneth Hensley, the new doctor here."

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Hensley," Melissa smiled. "What brought you here to the Evergreen Forest?"

"Well, I used to live in Winnipeg, but the hospital I worked at cut some of the staff. I happened to get cut. So I decided I'd move my family out to the country and I took a job here seeing as there was an opening," Dr. Hensley explained, as he twiddled with the eraser of one of his pencils.

"Well, it's always nice to see a new face here in the Forest," Ralph forced a grin. He wasn't too excited as he wasn't fond of going to the doctor's anyways, and something about Dr. Hensley didn't feel quite right to him...

"Ah. So, what are you two here for?" the doctor asked. He seemed a little...absent-minded and forgetful to them.

"My husband and I have decided we want to have children," Melissa informed the doctor. "We've been married twelve years and we have decided we would like to have children since time is sort of running out on us. We wanted to check to see whether or not we're fertile."

"Ah, so you two are trying to have children," Dr. Hensley nodded. "I have two kids back at home now. They're enrolled at Evergreen Elementary. How old are you two?"

"I'm thirty-four and she's thirty-five. She'll be thirty-six come this November," Ralph answered the doctor.

"Ah, you two are starting to get up there in years. It's definitely a good idea to try now before the clock runs out," he chuckled. "Well, we'll need to perform a few tests," Dr. Hensley informed the couple.

"Okay," Melissa nodded.

"Mr. Raccoon," Dr. Hensley glanced at Ralph, "I'd like you to follow me to another room. We'll need to collect a sample from you."

Ralph looked confused. "A sample...?"

"Well, how else are we going to determine whether or not you're fertile? We're not magicians," Dr. Hensley laughed.

Ralph immediately felt highly embarrassed. He didn't know he was in for this. "Oh...oh dear..." Ralph moaned as his face flushed. "Doc...isn't there some other way you can do this? I don't feel comfortable...you know...in public..."

"Oh come on, Ralph," Melissa tried to reassure him. "You want to know if you're fertile, right?"

"Right..." Ralph said, still feeling embarrassed.

"I'm sure it won't be that bad," she said, trying to encourage him.

"Come follow me, Mr. Raccoon," Dr. Hensley said as he stood at the door, gesturing for Ralph to follow him...

In the present day, Ralph winced just thinking about what he had to do at the hospital. "Melissa..." he said to his wife, "I would really, really appreciate it if you agreed with me that we should never discuss what happened at the hospital...ever again."

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad, Ralph," she shrugged. "I had to go through more than you did, after all!"

"Yes, but...I'm really uncomfortable talking about that," Ralph informed her.

"Well, think on the bright side, Ralph. Your sperm count is healthy for a man your age. Plus, I checked out okay as well. They determined we can try to have a child if we want to," she smiled at her husband.

"That is good, but...I think this is a conversation that would be best saved for home," Ralph muttered. "Not exactly appropriate for a store."

"You're right," Melissa agreed. "Sorry about that. Still, I'm glad they told us our chances are still pretty good."

"Yeah," Ralph agreed. "What did they say our chances were? I can't remember the number..."

"If I remember right they said we have about a seventy percent chance of conceiving within a year. I think that's a good number. We have about a two in three chance of success. Not to mention, Dr. Hensley said he's seen quite a few women my age successfully get pregnant and have babies. I think we'll be able to do it," Melissa smiled.

"If everything goes well," Ralph nodded. "Let's just hope we're not that one out of three..."

"I'm sure we're not," Melissa replied.

Presently, the couple came across the next aisle of the fairly small store.

Ralph immediately groaned. "Oh, not this aisle..." he pathetically moaned. This aisle contained most of the feminine products.

"Oh, come on Ralph!" Melissa laughed at her husband. "It's not that bad, now."

"I usually try to stay away from this aisle if I can," Ralph admitted.

"Well, I think what I'm looking for might be here..." she said as she looked on the aisle shelves. "Hmm...let's see...ah, here it is!" Melissa remarked as she took a box off the shelf.

"What do you have there?" Ralph asked.

"What are we trying to do, Ralph?" Melissa asked.

"Trying to conceive," Ralph quickly responded to his wife's question.

"Well, Ralph, I've been wondering if they had these, and sure enough they do!"

Ralph took a look at the box she was holding. "Home pregnancy tests?"

"That's what they are," Melissa nodded. "Times have changed a lot, Ralph. You used to have to go to the doctor to determine whether or not you were pregnant. But now, you can determine it right from your own home!"

"I know what a pregnancy test is, Melissa," Ralph replied, feeling a little bit agitated. "Are you sure we should actually buy these, though?"

"I think it's a good idea," his wife grinned. "We can find out if I'm expecting right at home at the Raccoondominium. It's very simple to use if you follow the instructions."

"Not that I like Dr. Hensley much, but I think we'd probably be best checking at the hospital to find that out," Ralph disagreed. "I don't think I trust those very much."

"I've heard they're quite accurate if you use them correctly," Melissa informed him.

"Well...alright," Ralph sighed. "Let's buy the home pregnancy tests then..." he shrugged as Melissa placed the box in their basket.

As they were heading for the counter to pay for their items, Melissa bumped into another woman, causing her basket to spill most of their items onto the store's floor.

"Oh! I'm terribly sorry," the other woman said. "I didn't see you two coming...Well, if it isn't Melissa Raccoon!" That voice was all too familiar...

"Sophia Sneer? What are you doing here?" Ralph asked. Sure enough, it was Sophia standing before them.

"I was just here buying a few groceries. I'm sorry about the mess I caused. I should have been more careful," she admitted.

"It's okay, I'm not mad," Melissa said as she stooped down to pick up their items. Sophia took a look at the box Melissa was picking up.

"Are those...pregnancy tests?" Sophia asked.

Melissa happily nodded. "Have you heard? Ralph and I have decided we're going to try to have a baby!"

"Ah, I remember Cedric said you wanted to have children and that Ralph didn't seem too sure; but that's wonderful, you two!" Sophia beamed. "I think it would be wonderful if our children got to grow up together."

"How've you been holding up the past few months, Sophia?" Ralph asked. "It's been a while since we've seen you last."

"Oh, I've been doing fine," she replied, "I'm about four months along now. I'm looking forward to the day our baby's finally born."

"I can see you're starting to show," Melissa noted. Sure enough, Sophia's belly was noticeably starting to protrude.

"Well, I've gained almost ten pounds already; and I still have quite a bit more to go. I've been eating a lot lately. I've been especially craving shrimp lately. I was just here looking to see if they had any," Sophia chuckled.

"I guess I know what I'm in for once we're expecting," Melissa lightly smiled. She knew beyond a doubt she would be very happy once she hopefully did get pregnant, but the fact that she would have to carry around her and Ralph's baby for nine months still didn't seem all that fun to Melissa.

"Don't worry, honey," Ralph said, cracking a smile. "I'll help you every step of the way. You don't have to worry about a thing."

"I'm grateful for that," Melissa smiled back, as she found it more than a little reassuring that Ralph was willing to help make things easier for her. "It'll be nice to have someone help me out during those nine months."

"How long have you two been trying?" Sophia curiously asked.

"We're just starting right now," Ralph responded.

"We're hoping we can conceive soon since time is starting to run out on us," Melissa added.

"Well, better late than never, right?" Sophia laughed.

"Yeah," Melissa agreed.

"I always did wonder why you two never had children. I thought something was up there. But, I'm glad to hear you two have decided to have children!"

"We kind of let our careers get in the way first..." Ralph sheepishly answered her.

"Well, at least you'll get the chance. You can beat your biological clock, Melissa! I think you two can do it!" the aardvark excitedly said.

"Sophia is probably one of the most easily excitable people I've ever known..." Ralph thought to himself. Sophia was a friend of his, but she wasn't his most favorite person in the world. In some ways, she reminded him a little bit of Bert...

"I sure hope we can. The doctor said our chances are pretty good," Melissa smiled.

"How's Cedric holding up, anyways?" Ralph asked. He knew Cedric was off fishing with Bert today. Between his wife being pregnant and his job running Sneer Enterprises, Cedric hadn't had much time to hang out with his friends lately.

"He's doing a good job helping me out, although he is still a bit nervous. We didn't exactly plan for this to happen, after all. He's having a few anxiety issues," the aardvark admitted.

"I'm sure he'll get through it alright," Melissa replied.

"I'm sure, too. Cedric recently enrolled in a course where they teach the basics of fatherhood. They're currently teaching him how to change diapers," Sophia chuckled to herself.

"Diapers...? Oh boy..." Ralph moaned. He'd never even thought about that up until this point. If they were to successfully conceive and have a baby, no doubt Ralph would have to change their child's diapers. That certainly didn't seem too pleasant an idea to him.

"Something wrong, Ralph?" Melissa asked him.

"Uh...I think I might want to take that course, myself. I'm sure I'd do alright as a father, but it might do me good to brush up on the basics," Ralph nervously chuckled.

"I don't think we should worry about that until I'm actually pregnant," Melissa rolled her eyes.

"Well, I think it's an idea to keep in mind." Ralph said. "Where do they meet?"

"They meet at the local gym. Well, it was nice seeing you two," Sophia said. "I see you two are ready to go and I don't think I should keep you two busy all day!"

"Yeah, we're about to go," Melissa nodded. "Ralph and I are having a special night tonight..."

"That sounds like it should be fun! Well, I'll be seeing you two around. Good luck!" she waved as she walked off.

"Goodness," Ralph said, shaking his head. "Don't get me wrong, Sophia's a nice woman, but she can be a real chatterbox," he laughed. "No wonder she used to write a social gossip column for the Standard!"


It's about five o'clock in the Evergreen Forest, and most of the Forest's denizens are busy around their homes, most of them preparing for their dinner. But one female raccoon was not...

Maxie Ringtail was sitting at the kitchen table in her small home. Today had been another typical boring day around the house. She had spent most of today dusting. Some people who knew her thought she was addicted to housework, but in truth, Maxie hated it very much. This had been her life for many years, and she was growing fed up with it. She was longing for a change...

Which was probably why she found herself sitting here at her kitchen table skimming through a book. Maxie still longed to have Bert in her life, but as long as he was attracted to Lisa, there was little chance of that actually happening. She had recently sent him a letter that had took her a few months to properly think how to write it. She had told him of her feelings for him but had left it anonymous. "I wonder what he thought of it..." Maxie quickly thought to herself. "Oh, he probably thought Lisa wrote it..." she sighed as she glanced back at the book. A part of her hoped maybe she could impress him and make him find something attractive about her, but she just didn't know what she could do. "I can't count on my looks, that's for sure," she sadly thought. Maxie had once been fairly attractive when she was a teenager, as she had once been on her high school's cheerleading squad. But having Annie at such a young age and living a hard life the past twenty years had worn her down. She knew she was nothing more than average; there was nothing that really made her stand out. "I never even lost all the weight I put on from being pregnant with Annie," she mused, "and to top it all off I still have stretch marks from back then." Lisa had the looks of a model and she did not. Lisa had told Maxie that she had been ogled by many men in high school and in college; she couldn't blame Bert for being attracted to her. A majority of single men and probably even a few married men around the Forest thought she was attractive. The only way Maxie could ever hope to look like that would be to go under the knife. "But I could never do that. I don't have that kind of money, and besides, I don't think that would be a good plan to impress Bert. I don't think he would like that..."

Maxie knew she couldn't count on her looks to attract Bert; so she would have to depend on her personality. "What's on the inside counts more than what's on the outside, right?" she thought. But then again, she realized that even there she couldn't compare with Lisa. Lisa was very confident in herself as she had been a highly successful high school athlete and she was enjoying her teaching career working at Evergreen Elementary. Maxie, on the other hand, had very little confidence in herself. So many times over the years, she had been rejected by men who had shown a bit of interest in her. She knew having a child in tow was a pretty good way to repel men, but her friend Melissa had also informed her that her lack of confidence probably didn't help her much either.

So here she was, reading a book that she had borrowed from Melissa. It was a book her husband Ralph had when he was younger: "Fifteen Easy Steps To Building Self-Confidence For Dummies." It wasn't a very thick book, but Maxie was just skimming through the pages. She wanted to be more confident as she hoped maybe that would get Bert's attention, but she didn't know if a book was the right place to go. "I feel so silly reading this..."

At that moment, Maxie was interrupted from her reading by the sound of the front door opening. Maxie quickly placed the book in her lap and scooted forward in her chair; as she felt she would be embarrassed to be discovered reading a self-confidence book. "Who is it?" Maxie asked.

"It's me, Mom," a familiar voice said. It was Annie, her teenaged daughter. Maxie had been wondering where she was as she was supposed to be home from school a couple of hours previously. "Where have you been, Annie? You were supposed to be home hours ago," Maxie frowned.

"Oh, uh..." Annie said as she struggled to find the right words, "Bentley and I were just at the local library. We were looking up some information for a school report we had on Canadian history."

"Hmm..." Maxie said. "Annie, I think we need to start thinking about college. Next year is your last year in high school and then it's off to college. You need to be thinking about what you want to do with your life. Hopefully, you'll turn out better than me..."

"Well, Mom," Annie replied, "I've been thinking about it, and I think I'd like to study journalism. I think I would like to work at the Evergreen Standard someday."

"You want to work for the Standard?" Maxie asked. "Well, that's certainly a good job."

"I know. I've been thinking about working there this summer. You know, learning the ropes from Ralph and Melissa. And Bert too," Annie smiled.

"They're probably the best people you could learn from," Maxie agreed.

"Well, after all, they all are proud alumni of Evergreen University."

"You're going there, right?" Maxie asked her daughter.

"Yes, Mom. I don't think I want to go too far from home. I won't stay here with you forever, but I'd still like to stay here in the Forest. I've lived most of my life here anyways. What can I say? When you live here long enough, you really get attached to the place," Annie nodded.

"I'm sure you would make a good journalist..."

"Say, Mom. What's that you've got under the table?" Annie asked her mother, noticing she was hiding something under the table.

"Oh!" Maxie was surprised. "Uh...nothing. I'm not hiding anything."

"There's something in your lap," Annie noted. "I can see it. It looks like a book of some kind..."

"Alright..." Maxie said as her face glowed red. She didn't want her daughter to know she was trying to improve her self-confidence. But she obliged and produced the book.

"'Fifteen Easy Steps To Building Self-Confidence For Dummies'," Annie read the title of the book. "Ah, Mom. It's nothing to be ashamed of. No offense, but you could be a little more confident in yourself. You always seem to be so negative and down upon yourself. That might be part of why you're still alone."

"Well, Melissa loaned that book to me," Maxie informed her daughter.

"That was nice of her to do...as I see you're trying to impress Bert," Annie grinned at her mother.

"Bert? Why would I want to impress Bert?" Maxie had never told her daughter she had a crush on Bert. That had partly been because Annie was rather close to Bert and she feared that her daughter might not be able to keep it a secret.

"Because you like him, Mom," Annie continued to grin.

"Well, of course I do. Bert is my friend, after all."

"But you like him more than as a friend," Annie said as her grin grew bigger.

"I don't know where you got that idea..." Maxie shrugged, feigning ignorance.

"I've heard you pining for him a few times. You talk about him constantly, and besides, I saw that letter you wrote to him," Annie replied.

"Oh..." Maxie blushed. "I really made it that obvious, didn't I?"

"Pretty much. Did you honestly think I wouldn't be able to figure it out on my own? "

"I should have figured...But, it's true, I do like Bert...a lot. I just wish he'd look past Lisa and see me...but then again, what do I have to provide him? I'm not beautiful. And I don't have that great of a personality..." Maxie lamented.

"You have a good heart, Mom, and that's a good place to start," Annie smiled. "You might stand a chance with him yet..."

"I just don't know..." Maxie sighed as another knock came from the front door. "Hang on, Annie, I'll go get that."

Maxie opened the front door to find none other than the silly grin of the man she loved, Bert Raccoon. "Hey there, Max," Bert smiled at her.

"Ah, hello there Bert!" Maxie said, her voice becoming more cheerful. She always brightened up whenever he visited. "Come in, come in. It's nice to have your company." It had been a few weeks since she had seen him last, but she was glad he was here in her home now.

"I just figured I'd drop by and talk for a bit," Bert said as he and Maxie sat down at the table together. "Oh, hey there, Annie," Bert grinned.

"Good to see you, Bert," Annie smiled back. "How's the novel coming along? It's been a while since I've helped you out with it."

"Oh, it's coming along great," Bert laughed. "I'm about five chapters in out of sixty. It looks pretty good so far. Boy, this is going to take longer than I thought, though!"

"Speaking of that, Bert," Maxie said as she thumbed through some papers and pulled out a piece of construction paper, "I drew two of those characters you wanted me to draw. Rabbit-Foot and Toby-Time." Maxie had to admit; she was a bit confused by some of the names Bert chose for his characters; these two characters' names sounded more like the name of a bad cartoon show. Rabbit-Foot and Toby-Time were a pair of hermits Gardos and Marcus were supposed to encounter in the middle of a vast desert, which seemed odd since the story was taking place in a kingdom called Waterland. But then again, she had learned not to question Bert's imagination...

"Wow," Bert said, taking a look at her drawings. "They look almost exactly as I imagined them. You did a great job, Max. You really are a pretty good artist," he complimented her.

"Thank you," Maxie lightly smiled.

"So why are you here, Bert?" Annie asked.

"I just wanted to talk about a few things," Bert answered her. "Bentley and I have been a little busy with that novel lately. Funny, I'm probably going to be spending the night with him at his parents' place."

"Why would that be?" Maxie asked.

"Well, seems Ralph has a 'special night' planned for Melissa, if you know what I mean..." Bert snickered.

"I'm not naive, Bert. I know exactly what you mean..." Maxie couldn't help but feel envious of Melissa. She was a good friend, but Maxie often wished her life could be half as good as hers was. All she had that Melissa didn't was a child; and if Ralph made up his mind on whether or not he and Melissa should have one, then Maxie would have nothing she didn't have. Ralph might not have been the world's greatest man, but he at least treated Melissa quite well from what she had seen. "I wish I had someone I could spend a 'special night' with," Maxie muttered under her breath. The last time she had slept with a man, Annie had ended up being the result. It had been way too long...

"You wish you had what?" Bert said, looking confused. He must have overheard her.

"Oh...nothing much," Maxie said, shrugging it off. Bert didn't ask her any further about what she had said. "I've got work in a little over an hour, I'll probably say hello to them there."

"Maxie, did you know Ralphie boy and Melissa are trying to have children?" Bert said out of the blue to her.

"Ah, I remember, you told me this past week!" Annie replied.

"Really?" Maxie answered him. "I know Melissa wanted to have children, but Ralph didn't know whether it was for them or not...so he actually decided they should give it a try?"

"Yep!" Bert nodded. "They've already been to the doctor and everything. Just today, they bought some pregnancy tests from Willow's Store! I think it's only a matter of time before we get a new arrival at the Raccoondominium," he hopefully grinned.

"Well...I'm glad for her," Maxie lightly smiled. She had to at least be happy for her friend, now that she knew there was a high probability she would get to be a mother. "I know the two of them will make great parents. They really deserve the opportunity. I hope they get lucky."

"I'm sure they will!" Bert said. "I can hardly wait to have a new little friend!"

"I'm looking forward to it as well," Annie remarked. "I bet their baby will be adorable!"

"I'm sure it would..." Maxie idly remarked, trying to imagine what a child of Ralph and Melissa's could look like.

"You know, I have babysitting experience. I've looked after a few kids in the past few years. If Ralph and Melissa need any babysitting help, I'd be more than willing to provide it for them. I think babies are really cute, after all," Annie smiled. "Well, they can be a handful, but they're still adorable. I hope I have one someday."

"I would hope you would have one under better circumstances than I did," Maxie warned her.

"Don't worry about that, Mom! I'm waiting until I'm married before I start thinking about that. Someday, I would like to be Mrs. Bentley Raccoon, after all," Annie sighed as she thought about her future.

"Maybe someday," Bert nodded. "What about you, Max? If you could have another child, would you?"

"What?" Maxie was totally taken aback by that question. "You're asking me if I want to have another child?" She couldn't help but laugh a bit at that question. "Bert, that's a silly question to ask. I can't even begin to think about that. For me to even begin to think about having another child, I'd have to actually be with someone first."

"I understand," Bert replied. "I'm just sayin', if you were with someone and you could choose to have another kid, would you?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"Just curious. I wouldn't mind having a kid of myself someday..."

"Well, I suppose I wouldn't mind," Maxie shrugged. "I would hope it would be under a lot better circumstances than how Annie came to be..."

"I wouldn't mind having a little brother or sister," Annie added.

"Well," Bert said as he changed the subject rather hastily, "the real reason I'm here is because, well, I got a letter."

"You...did?" Maxie said, feigning surprise. She realized Bert was talking about the letter she had written him. "Oh no," she thought. "I wonder what he thinks about it?"

"Yeah, I got it right here, Max," Bert said as he pulled a letter out of what appeared to be thin air. "I got it the other day. Do you think you can recognize the handwriting?"

"You have a clue who wrote it?" Annie asked.

"Not really, I just know someone really likes me..."

"Give it to me, Bert," Maxie asked of her friend. Bert did as he was asked and handed over the letter. Maxie recognized every word. She knew that was her handwriting. But she tried her best to pretend she didn't recognize it. "I can't say I do recognize the handwriting, Bert. Then again, I'm no handwriting expert..."

"I thought Lisa might have written it, but she told me she didn't have a clue. I kind of wish it had been her...but I'm curious. Someone else out there likes me? I can't say much, but they sound like a nice lady from what they wrote to me. Maybe a little shy, but still, they sound nice," Bert smiled.

Maxie smiled a bit. "So Bert's interested in getting to know the person who wrote this letter..." she thought to herself. "But I can't tell him it was me who wrote that letter yet...Still, I could hint to him..."

"I can't help but wonder if that's one of my old girlfriends from high school or college. I really broke quite a few girls' hearts back then. I feel pretty bad I did that...I wouldn't be surprised if someone's been longing to have me back after all these years," Bert said as he scratched the back of his head.

"I still have a hard time imagining you as a womanizer, Bert," Maxie laughed. "You definitely don't seem the type."

"I have a hard time believing you were once a cheerleader, Max!" Bert quickly retorted. "I never would have guessed in a million years until you showed me some old photos."

"People do change a lot, Bert..." Maxie stated.

"You've got a point there..."

"I couldn't tell you who wrote that letter, Bert, but I will say you should keep your eyes open. You never know, that special someone could be a lot closer than you think," Maxie smiled as she winked at him. It should have been pretty obvious to Bert she was trying to flirt with him a bit, but Bert didn't really catch on.

"Maybe," Bert said. "I'd still like to hope it's Lisa, though...Well, I probably should get going, anyways. You've got to get ready for work and I got to go say goodbye to Ralph and Melissa. See ya around, Max," Bert said as he got up and headed for the door.

"I'll see you later, Bert," Maxie said as she waved goodbye to him.

"Bye, Bert," Annie waved. With that, she turned towards her mother. "See, Mom? I think you might stand a chance with Bert, after all. He's pretty curious about who wrote that letter, after all!"

"Maybe you're right..." Maxie said. For once, she was actually feeling hopeful. "Maybe he'll come around someday. Maybe one day not too far off in the future he might actually see past Lisa and give me a fair chance," she eagerly thought.

At least for once, she felt hopeful...


It's about eleven o'clock in the Evergreen Forest, and Ralph and Melissa Raccoon have just arrived home after they had gone out tonight. Bert had gone to George and Nicole's place since he had decided he didn't want to bother them tonight.

They had both had a lot of fun tonight. Ralph had taken Melissa bowling at Evergreen Lanes. It had been a long, long time since the two of them had actually gone bowling together; it had to have been a few years. They had then gone out to dinner at the Blue Spruce Cafe, where the two of them had quite a bit of wine to drink. Neither of them was heavily drunk, but both of them were both feeling more than a little soused as they strolled into the Raccoondominium arm in arm.

The two of them were laughing heartily as they were reminiscing about some of their past adventures. "Say, Ralph," Melissa chuckled. "Do you remember when you and Cedric got locked in Sneer Mansion's vault?"

"Now that was a long time ago," Ralph nodded in reply, "but I remember. We were both scared that we were going to starve to death in there. Boy, am I glad you and the guys managed to save us!" he guffawed. It wasn't really funny at all, but the alcohol was clouding his judgement just a bit.

"Hey, I don't know what I would do without you, Ralph," Melissa smirked. "Without you, my life would probably be a dreadful mess."

"I think the same, too," Ralph replied. A sneaky grin suddenly appeared on Ralph's face as a rather...naughty idea was coming to his mildly addled mind. "Say, honey. I have a really nice surprise for you..."

"A surprise, you say? Well, you know me, Ralph. I like surprises! Where's my surprise hiding at?" she asked him, nudging him in the ribs.

"Why don't you follow me upstairs and we'll find out..." Ralph mischievously grinned. Melissa knew her husband was up to a bit of mischief...but she didn't care. She had an idea what was probably going to happen tonight, and she quite liked that idea.

"Sure thing," Melissa said as she followed Ralph upstairs, as he led her to their bedroom.

"Alright, Ralph. Now where's my surprise?" she asked him.

"It's around here...You go look around. I'll show it to you in a minute," he chuckled.

"Okay then..." Melissa said as she began looking around their bedroom. Ralph, meanwhile, was standing by a dresser in the corner of their bedroom, upon which a radio of theirs was placed. "Alright now," Ralph said as he fiddled with the dial on the radio, flipping through stations. Presently he came upon something he liked.

"And all of the things that I said that I wanted

Come rushing by in my head when I'm with you

Fourteen joys and a will to be merry

All of the the things that we say are very

Sentimental gentle wind, blowing through my life again

Sentimental lady, gentle one..."

"Ah, perfect!" Ralph chuckled to himself.

"Say, Ralph, didn't we dance to that song at our wedding?" Melissa asked him.

"We sure did, Melissa. I definitely remember that," he grinned. The sneaky grin came across his face once again. "So, are you wondering where your surprise is?" Ralph asked his wife, winking at her.

"Tell me, Ralph. Nothing seems out of place here..." Melissa asked him.

"Well, it's right here," Ralph smirked. Much to Melissa's surprise, Ralph pushed her, causing her to topple backwards onto their bed.

"WOAH! Ralph, what did you do that for?" Melissa asked, looking surprised.

"No reason," he smirked. Ralph climbed on top of her, looking down at her, with his eyes twinkling.

"What are you thinking about?" Melissa asked, even though she knew full well what her husband was thinking about...

"Oh, nothing much," Ralph smirked. "Just...this!" With that, Ralph started tickling his wife's belly, causing her to laugh.

"Haha! Oh, Ralph, stop it! Stop it, please! You know how ticklish I am! Haha! Please, Ralph, stop!" she roared with laughter.

"Sure you want me to stop?" Ralph laughed himself. He loved hearing her laugh; he had always found her laughter to be quite adorable.

"Haha, please, Ralph!" she said, still giggling away.

"Well, okay," Ralph said as he stopped tickling Melissa. Melissa started to grin as well as she sat up.

"Why are you grinning like that?" Ralph asked her.

"My turn, Ralph," Melissa said, as she pushed Ralph over, causing him to fall on his back. She promptly put Ralph into a headlock. "Gotcha!" she teased him as she lightly rubbed her knuckle on top of his head.

"Hey, cut it out, Melissa!" Ralph laughed, begging for her to stop.

"Not until you say you're sorry for tickling me," as Melissa grinned the most seducing grin she could muster.

"Ah! Stop it! Ah, okay! Okay! I'm sorry I tickled you..." Ralph said.

"That what I wanted to hear," Melissa smiled as she let go of her husband.

"I'm not going to take that so easily, honey," Ralph smirked devilishly, another idea coming to his head.

"Ooh, what are you going to do to me, Ralph?" Melissa asked, pretending to be scared.

"Not much..." Ralph said as he pushed her head back onto the pillows and placed his paws on Melissa's chest.

"What are you doing, Ralph?" Melissa gasped.

"Something I think you'll really like..." Ralph smirked as he started to massage his wife's chest. Melissa felt a jolt of pleasure surging through her body as her husband gently caressed her. She couldn't help but lightly moan...

"Mmm...Ralph...that feels so...good..." she passionately sighed as Ralph continued to massage her chest. "Please...don't stop...please..."

"Heheh," Ralph chuckled, as his libido really started to flow. "I love hearing you make those noises..." he smirked. Hearing his lover softly cooing and sighing in pleasure from his touch was quite arousing...After a while, Ralph let go of his wife's breasts and looked down into her eyes.

"Ralph...why'd you stop..." a very aroused Melissa asked him, her heart pounding. Her eyes were gazing deep into his, longing for more. Ralph always did love her eyes. They had always been his favorite thing about her; it wasn't hard for him to get lost in her baby blues...right now they seemed so enticing, so hypnotic...

"Melissa...tonight's going to be a special night," Ralph winked at her. "It could be in more ways than one."

"Hmmm...how so?" Melissa eagerly asked.

"Well, you never know. Tonight might just be a night you'll remember for the rest of your life. It could be the night our first child's conceived..." he grinned. He knew that was rather unlikely to actually happen tonight, but it wasn't impossible...

"I'd love that," Melissa said, flashing a rather seducing grin at him. Ever since she had started feeling depressed months ago, Ralph and Melissa's love life had gone from fairly active to almost nonexistent. They had sex only a couple times over the past few months. But maybe there was an added perk of trying to have a child. For a while, at least, it could put a real spark back into their romantic life...

"Well..." Ralph said as he grinned broadly, "come here, honey..." With that, the giddy and mildly inebriated raccoons slid their arms around each other as they tightly embraced one another, pulling each other into a passionate kiss. They both fell backwards onto the pillows as their embrace tightened and their kiss grew deeper...

After a while, Melissa broke their kiss as she playfully tugged on Ralph's scarf.

"Hey, what are you doing...?" Ralph asked her.

"Your scarf, Ralph...I don't think you'll be needing it..." she said as she removed her husband's scarf and tossed it to the floor.

"Haha, I guess you're right," Ralph laughed as they kissed each other once more.

It wasn't long before they broke free from each other again. Ralph loosened his grip on his wife as he placed his paws at the bottom edges of her tank top.

"What are you-" Melissa began, but Ralph quickly put a finger to her lips to shush her.

"Let's get you out of that tank top, honey," Ralph grinned as he started to remove it. "If I don't need my scarf, then you're not going to need that, either..."

Just as Ralph was about to lift Melissa's tank top over her head, a knock suddenly came on their bedroom door. Ralph instantly froze in his tracks as his heart almost stopped. Somebody was here...in their home? How? Bert had gone off to spend the night at George and Nicole's house! Who could possibly be at their door now?

Sure enough, a familiar voice answered that question from outside their door. "Hey, you two awake in there?" Sure enough, it was Bert, alright.

"B-B-Bert!" Melissa stammered, feeling very embarrassed. This wouldn't be the first time she and Ralph had been caught while...in the mood. Seeing as Bert was their house guest, it had happened before. But he wasn't supposed to be here. "W-what are you d-doing here?" she shrieked.

"I wanted to show Bentley a new game I bought recently for my Gamedude, and I thought I brought it with me, but when I looked for my Gamedude, it wasn't with me. I hope it's not lost..." Bert worried. "I thought it might be here. Do you two think you could help me find it...?"

"Um, Bert," Ralph protested, "I don't think Melissa and I are going to be able to help you out there!"

"Why would that be? I woke you up, didn't I?" Bert thought the two of them had fallen asleep with the radio on.

"No, Bert. You sort of...interrupted us," Melissa groaned.

"I did?" Bert realized what he had just done. Ralph and Melissa had been either been about to or had been in the process of making love, and he happened to interrupt them. "Oh...Oh dear, I'm...I'm really sorry," he sheepishly replied. "I didn't think it was a great idea coming over here...I should have known what to expect...I'll...I'll just be on my way!" Bert promptly headed back downstairs and back to George and Nicole's place. "Oh boy. I just ruined Ralphie boy's 'special night' for Melissa..." he thought, feeling quite embarrassed. He knew he had done this before in the past. "Well, they're trying to have kids. I should have figured they'll be going at it a lot more than they have in the past few months...I mean, that is how kids are created..." An idea crossed Bert's mind as he left the Raccoondominium. "Maybe I should go buy some earmuffs or something..."

Back upstairs, Ralph sighed as he grabbed his scarf and put it back on. Both he and Melissa were feeling quite disappointed that Bert ruined their romantic night. Neither of them felt in the mood any more...

"Well, isn't that lovely," Ralph moaned. "Tonight was going to be perfect, and then Bert ruined it all..."

"Why'd he have to show up here?" Melissa shook her head. "We were about to make beautiful music together, and then he had to show up..."

"I can't believe he did that..." Ralph said, in utter disbelief.

"Well, to be fair, he probably thought we were asleep by now," Melissa said, trying her best not to dwell on what had happened.

"He should have known better," Ralph griped.

"Ralph, you don't have to be that upset, now. We'll have plenty of other chances," she lightly smiled, placing her paw on his shoulder.

"Oh, I know, I mean, I'm just really disappointed," Ralph sighed. "We haven't gotten to share very many 'special nights' with each other at all over the past half-year...and we need to spend more together if we want to have children."

"We spent our anniversary together," Melissa replied.

"Yes, but outside of that...it's probably well over a month. That's too long," Ralph shook his head once again.

"We'll have plenty of chances, Ralph," Melissa repeated herself. "Who knows, maybe trying to have children will put a little spark back into our love life?" she smirked.

"Well, for a little while, at least, until you actually get pregnant," Ralph quickly stated.

"But that's what our ultimate goal is, Ralph. Our goal is for me to get pregnant, right?"

"Right, right," Ralph responded.

"And besides, it'll still be a happy time for us, sweetie," Melissa smiled. Ralph didn't smile back. His frown grew in size. "What's the matter?"

"I'm just so disappointed about what happened tonight," Ralph shook his head once more. "This is far from the first time this has happened. I can't help it for being negative. Ever since Bert came back to live with us, I've hardly gotten a moment of peace and quiet to myself. He's always keeping us on our toes like a little kid. It almost feels like we already have a child in him. Sometimes, I feel I just can't take it. He's been here the past...eleven years, almost. Almost the whole time we've been married. When is he ever going to leave?"

Melissa was surprised to see Ralph was feeling frustrated with still having a house guest after all these years. "Well, you'll have to give him time, Ralph. Bert will leave when he feels ready to leave."

"I'm worried that time will be never," Ralph sighed again. "I mean, do you know what our chances of having children are if that keeps happening?"

"What are they?"

"Well, they're not seventy percent like Dr. Hensley said. They're pretty much..." Ralph struggled to finish, "they're pretty much...absolute zero."

"Now, come on, Ralph," Melissa said, trying to cheer him up. "It's not that bad..."

"Well, I can't just get up and throw him out. He's my oldest friend and he always had my back when I was younger. He had such a terrible time on his own, I can't bring myself to do that to him. Still, couldn't he at least find a nice girl who would want to take him in? What about Lisa? Couldn't she take him in?" Ralph asked.

"I don't think she would," Melissa replied. "You know, Lisa doesn't feel the same way about him that he does."

"Oh, that's right..." Ralph remembered, his mind still a bit hazy from the wine they had drank. "Well, couldn't someone take him in? There has to be some girl for him..."

"Just give him time," Melissa calmly replied. "When he's ready to leave, he'll leave. Until then, there's not much we can do. I don't think Bert's that bad..."

"You're right," Ralph replied. He realized he was being a bit of an ass. "I'm still just disappointed..."

"Don't worry, Ralph. We'll have plenty of chances to spend the night together," she winked, "and sooner than you know it we'll probably be expecting that child we want. I have faith, Ralph."

"I hope so, too; I really would like the chance to have a kid of my own," Ralph hopefully smiled.

"Hey, we could still do something nice together tonight," Melissa suggested.

"Hmm..." Ralph thought, a small idea coming to his mind. "We could go downstairs. I'm sure they have some late night movie on. We could go watch one and cuddle together," Ralph smiled at his wife. "What do you think?"

"I like that idea, dear. I always love a good cuddle," Melissa smiled back. She was starting to notice ever since Ralph had decided to put her ahead of his career, he was starting to become a little more romantic than he usually was. She had to admit, she did like that..."You know, it's been a long time since we actually just cuddled together, Ralph..."

"Well, I'm for it," Ralph agreed as he placed his arm around Melissa. "Cuddling would be really nice right now. C'mon. Let's go downstairs, honey." With that, the couple headed downstairs to go see what was on the TV together.

They still had high hopes that the future would bring them a child, although they didn't realize it wouldn't happen so quickly...

END CHAPTER SEVEN

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, there's Chapter 7. We're definitely halfway through with this story. Not a whole lot happened in this chapter, but hey, it's a bridging chapter. Although you can probably tell I had a lot more fun writing this one than the last one I wrote, Chapter 3. Just a few notes this time.

Poor Ralph and Melissa at the end of this chapter. You have to figure if they've been married a long time and Bert has been living with them the majority of the time they've been married, this situation probably has happened at least a couple of times. It's definitely...adult, although not really explicit and not really as adult as I could have made it. It's not graphic, because I will never go far enough in my works to write anything M-rated or X-rated. I like to write stories. Not smut. If you want to read smut, there are plenty of websites around the Internet where you can do just that. Most X-rated stories I've come across are very atrociously written, anyways. Usually quite laughable. There's another reason why I won't go that far. I'd rather not be fodder for some website that likes to skewer stories. I also figured Ralph could easily eventually start to feel a bit fed up with having Bert living with him and causing trouble for him at every turn and corner. Will Bert ever be able to live on his own? You'll have to see...

That song playing on Ralph and Melissa's radio...an old, old song called Sentimental Lady originally written by a singer called Bob Welch. You might never guess, but he was originally a member of Fleetwood Mac before Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham were a part of that band (I bet some people never knew Fleetwood Mac existed before then. Fleetwood Mac had a very interesting history, to say the least. Before they were a pop superstar band, they started life as a blues band playing '30s and '40s blues covers. Three of their original members, Peter Green, Jeremy Spencer, and Danny Kirwan, all left the band as a result of mental health issues-that's an interesting story in and of itself). It originally showed up on their little known 1972 album Bare Trees, but then later became a solo hit for Welch after he left the band (Nicks and Buckingham joined shortly after he left) in 1977. I like the Fleetwood Mac version better as the solo version is shorter and drops one of the verses. As for Ralph and Melissa dancing to that one at their wedding...Sounds like a wedding-type song to me anyways. I wouldn't mind having it played at my wedding.

It seems the whole Bert/Lisa/Maxie subplot is becoming almost as interesting as the main story featuring Ralph and Melissa possibly having children. I will say I'll probably go places with this in some futures stories, but for right now I'm still developing this plot out some. You'll see in future stories where I go with this...

And as for Ralph's...reaction to having to provide a sample for the doctor, let's face it. That's probably how he would react. Hell, that's probably how most men would react (I can safely say I wouldn't be so comfortable either). Ralph really strikes me as a fairly humble person who probably would be quite uncomfortable talking about bedroom matters out in public (which makes him not that different from Hank Hill, really, just replace Ralph's love for his newspaper with Hank's love for propane and propane accessories and you pretty much could easily have something similar!).

Well, that's chapter seven. Next up, in Chapter Eight, we'll move forward a few months as Sophia and Cedric become parents, and in the meantime Ralph and Melissa are, surprise, surprise, struggling to conceive and not succeeding, as Melissa in particular is starting to get frustrated. Will Ralph and Melissa get the chance to become parents? You'll just have to see...